Fashion NOn-sense: Trends I Hate!
Aight, so this is my first summer being 21, and I’ve immersed myself in the club scene. It’s also my post-graduate celebratory time (aka revelling in utter bumminess, joblessness, and unproductivity). Therefore, I’ve been out and kicking it. With this, I have really come across EVERY trend infinite times, leading me to further HATE them all more and more. I REFUSE to do trends because if I can’t wear what I just bought next month (shoot, next week even), then why did I just spend money on it? We all know what has happened to the following trends: Boxing Boots (and your name ain’t Laila), Ponchos (and you don’t even know who Juan Valdes is, nor any other Mexican Cowboys) and Trucker Hats (and you don’t drive a Tractor. Ok I admit, I sold out and wore them too. But I have no excuse for my behavior now *hangs head in shame*).
Antyway (yeah I put a “t” in there), my point is that I don’t do trends because they are so fickle, and you look at pictures of yourself later and LAUGH. Right now, there are ENDLESS trends that I look down upon, look VERY silly sometimes, but of course EVERYONE does/wears them.
1. First and foremost, I HATE THESE damn ABORTION BELTS: They are EVERYWHERE, and not in folks’ belt loops either. I call them ABORTION Belts b/c if there was anything in someone’s stomach (food, water, a child…), as tight as they cinch these, it will be expunged. I mean, people are in the streets rocking these over whatever they got, including: Tshirts, collared shirts, FAT ASS stomachs. I mean REALLY!! The madness must end. At first, it was cute but it then it got ri-damn-diculous.
2. Also, equally annoying, the pleather heels w/ the corked heel. The first issue is that I’m against pleather, and any other material in which you can see if you have spinach in your teeth. And corks should stay in wine bottles. I mean FOR WHAT??? They are GAHT AWFUL, and folks are wearing them like they’re actually decent!! Why must we engage in such fashion slaughtery?? This looks like something the dumb chick from Beverly Hillbillies would wear with her short shorts and gingham cropped shirt. Lawd help our impressionable society.
3. Dressy short-shorts (an oxymoron, if I ever came across one). WAYY too many people think it’s acceptable for them, but it really ain’t. I’ve seen my share of knowingly exposed cellulite this summer, and I really wish I won’t see anymore. BUT due to the extreme popularity of this, its a dream deferred (till it gets cold anyway).
Trends I can stand: Bermuda shorts, and umm…well…hmm… Ok well make that THE ONLY TREND I don’t hate. But I still own none, due to the fact that I’d look like Olive Oyl, with my lack of legs, and my smankles (small ankles), and that would NOT be a good look.
Antywho…the moral of this story is that before you look on the mannequin and say “YES!! That is too cute, and would look GREAT on me!”, then go on to purchase it, please take the time to think…“If I wear this in 2 months, will I be considered a fashion mishap?” It’s a very valid question, and one that most people CLEARLY do not ask themselves.
People, we can WEAR better.