My Love/Hate Relationship with Facebook

[ 0 ] October 29, 2007 |

I’ve been gone for a minute, now I’m back it’s the JUMP OFF (lol excuse my bout of urban youthery. I couldn’t help myself).

Anyway, it’s been a while since I wrote a note, and I didn’t watch the BET HIP Hop Awards because I wanted to hold on to the few brain cells I have left that aren’t gone, from my obsession with reality TV, my inability to stay away from crappy award shows, and the countless hours I spend in front of this white light I call a monitor.

Facebook is like my alcohol. Addictive, can be a GREAT time, but some people don’t know how to use it properly.

1. ALBUMS

Call me Type A, but I HATE when people put up albums of their vacations, and out of 60 pictures, 45 is of them in the SAME SPOT, in the SAME POSE. Umm, can’t you just pic your top 5 identical pictures to put in the album, instead of ALL the ones you took trying to get it the pic JUST RIGHT?? And then, they have the nerve to have 4 albums dedicated to the 2 day vacay, when the TOTAL number of interesting pictures is like 10, lol. Redundancy at its WORST. EDIT, people, EDIT!!

Also, people who have 35 albums, all of which have no more than 20 pictures. For all that is GOOD space, can you just condense the number of albums by making each one have 60 pictures?? SHEESH!!!

2. APPLICATIONS

When applications first started, I sat back for 2 weeks before adding my first one because I was a bit iffy about them. I currently have a very respectable 6 applications on my profile, but I’ve balanced them well because my left and right pane are pretty equal to one another. What I HATE is going on someone’s profile and seeing they have no less than 15 apps. ALL of which happens to be on the right side of the profile. So I’m scrolling for DAYS, and by the time I get to their wall to write what I had to say, 3 things have happened:

a. I’ve forgotten what I wanted to say
2. My eyes are now fully dilated from over-stimulation
3a. I now suffer from carpal tunnel synndrome

DAMN ALL YOU APPLICATION WHORES!! lol I’ve already threatened many of my friends because of this.

3. SOAP OPERAS

I actually LOVE this part of Facebook. What I refer to are the note wars and the ever-changing relationship statuses. I’ve seen some AWESOME notewars that made me just pull up a chair with a big bag of Garrett’s Caramel Popcorn as I “oohhed” and “aahhed” and “OOHHH NO SHE DIDNT SAY THAT” for hours!! I mean, juicy ass fights that made me call my gurls and be like “GUUURRRLLL did you see what *** wrote bout ****?” Call me jobless but I thoroughly enjoy them because people INVITE me into their business and their crises, no matter how petty.

And relationship statuses that change are SO AWESOME!! Newsfeed be like “Girl-in-love-with-boo-and-has-5-albums-caking-to prove-it is no longer ENGAGED*. Me: “Well SHUT MY MOUTH WIDE OPEN!! I thought his name was tattooed on her neck!! What she gon do now??” lol Then the next day, her relationship status has changed to “its complicated”. Me: “Ohh they must be working it out”. Then after like 5 more changes to the relationship status, it becomes SINGLE, accompanied by a bitter status message.

I’m sorry, but I find these situations hilarious. Not the situations itself, but people who feel the need to give THE WHOLE WORLD a 24-hr key to their livelihood. There are about 1,000 friends and associates on my friends list, and not even a FRACTION know my current state of mind. Why?? Because I don’t feel the need to share my relationships, problems and crises with the entire Facebook population. This is a public domain, and there is no need for everyone to know who I’m beefing with or how shaky any of my relationships are.

To make matters worse, the people who put ALL their business out on the streets are the main ones who be like “Why are people all in my business?” and “Haters need to fall back because my man is blah blah blah *insert stupidity here*” First of all, don’t leave your bedroom door open while having sex and wonder why folks are watching. <—-BAD METAPHOR BUT STILL. Second of all, you ain’t got to lie to kick it. If you’re an attention slut, which most people who do this ARE, just admit it. You ENJOY people writing on your wall saying “I’m sorry to hear that girl. I knew he was NO GOOD”. And the next day when you’re back with him, that person is looking like Boo Boo the Fool. Because of Facebook (and the advent of Newsfeeds), I know which BFFs are now mortal enemies, who’s a serial monogamist (and needs to come up for air before claiming yet ANOTHER man as “HUBBY”) and everything else in between. So for that (and the “Scrabulous” application), I say THANK YOU, Zuckerberg.

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