Aight so I was on the public bus minding my own business, as I always… (u know what? I can’t even finish that. I was being my usual nosy self), when foolish ish met me. Some dude got on the bus, with a GROOMED UNIBROW. Now, if that ain’t an oxymoron, then I don’t know what is. Having a groomed unibrow is like…
- Having neatly scuffed shoes
- Wearing a tie dyed shirt… under a wrinkled suit… to a classy event
- Graduating from college with a 2.01 GPA
- Getting a haircut with no lining
- Being pregnant with 6-pack abs
- Getting a whiff of a bum who smelled like Japanese Cherry Blossoms
- Seeing white folks in weather-appropriate attire
- Having an event with my beloved African people, where everyone comes on time
Basically, the groomed unibrow is something I don’t expect to see, especially when people with unibrows have them despite their opportunities to groom. Therefore, the groomed uni lacks logic. Threw me for a loop. His unibrow is something Frida would have been jealous of, with a perfect V that looked perfectly thought out. I think I stared at him the whole time we were on the bus together. I can only imagine what my look said, but I can guess it was 1/2 perplexed, 1/4 mixture of basic, plain, and GENERAL with a quarter side of minor squinting to make sure my slanted eyes weren’t deceiving me.
If only I could have taken a pic of it… you know, if I wasn’t afraid he’d whoop my ass.