I just need answers. If you got em, tell em.
1. When will Angelina Jolie hire Baby Zahara a Black nanny who would be able to comb her hair? I mean, the girl is ADORABLE, but every time she goes out, her hair is everywhere. Angie, you are TOO rich for your child’s head to look like that. Handle that. Thanks.
2. Why is Soulja Boy still relevant? I’m shocked that he has not been relegated into the “irrelevant corner” right next to Bubba Sparxxx (don’t remember him? EXACTLY)
3. How is Amy Winehouse still alive? This lady once took a drug cocktail that included heroin, cocaine and HORSE tranquilizers, yet she is still with a heart beat. I don’t wish her evil, but I am amazed.
4. Does Paris Hilton own major stock in Valtrex? Would the Valtrex stock plummet if she, you know, stopped… well… being Hollywood’s favorite tip drill?
5. Am I the only one who feels bad for Jennifer Aniston? The chick gets dumped more often than garbage. Po’ thang.
6. If roaches had faces, would they look just like Lil Wayne? I think they would. Oh, and how does he know Nigerian hair is tough?? *ice grills Wayne*
7. Why is Nicole Kidman so see-through? There’s pale, and there’s transparent. Homegirl’s organs are visible.
8. Why is Denzel Washington at LEAST 86 years old and STILL sexier than most of the rest of Hollywood? Dude’s elderly swagger is TIGHT.
9. Does Star Jones haunt your dreams sometimes too? Sheesh, she looks like she’s melting.
10. Does watching Flava Flav makes your eyes bleed too?