Hood or Ghetto?

Today’s Guest Blogger is The Champ, from VerySmartBrothas. He rocks my socks, so hope he rocks yours too. Of course, in true fashion, he sent it to me late, and after I set out a search party, some vigorous shaking of my tiny fists, and other such threats, he delivered.

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one of the most difficult distinctions to make is the nuanced difference between the adjectives “hood” and “ghetto” (more specifically, what makes something “hood” and what makes something “ghetto”). to me, “hood” is a place and a state of mind…a practical and unpretentious way of doing things. ghetto, on the other hand, describes blatantly ignant and uncouth actions. hood doesnt have a negative connotation, while ghetto definitely does. to expound, i’ve decided to take things a step further, offering you a simple guidebook, a champnotes if you will, to tell the difference between “hood” and “ghetto”. (i used four commas in that sentence, btw. it’s not a game with the comma game)

kool aid is inherently hood, especially the darker colors (red and grape).
serving kool aid at a wedding reception or any other function requiring men to wear ties is ghetto

tims in the summertime is hood.
tims at the prom is disgustingly ghetto

chicken places that serve chicken with things that chicken traditionally don’t go with (waffles, pancakes, oysters, midgets) are very hood.

chicken places that run out of chicken at 7pm because they’re done cooking for the night, even though they close at 11 are ghetto (is this just a pittsburgh thing? please tell me that it is. please tell me that the kfc’s and popeyes in other places in the country actually still allow you to purchase chicken 5 hours before closing)

pre-bobby whitney was hood
post-bobby whitney, is, well, does the term “uberghetto” exist?

carrying a “buck 50″ (a “buck 50″ is a razorblade for those not well-versed in hoodspeak. it’s referred to as a “buck 50″ because a slice to the face usually results in 150 stiches. should i be proud or ashamed for having this knowledge?) with you at all times is hood. it’s especially hood if you carry it in your mouth

using that same razorblade for things such as “clipping fingernails” and “cutting salad” and “picking teeth” is hilariously ghetto

having multiple legal (selling apple pies in the basement, doing hair) and pseudolegal (selling mixtapes) side hustles in your home is hood

printing hundreds of business cards for your struggling weed business and passing them out at parties is extremely ghetto, and extremely stupid…especially if you’re a college student living on campus (yes, i do know somebody who did this. i think he’s a cop now. or a stripper. i forgot which one)

despite having no literary skills whatsoever, writing a well selling book about your sexual exploits as a video vixen is actually pretty hood

being named “supahead” and actually allowing yourself to be referred to as supahead is the epitome of ghettoness. in fact, the name “supahead” in itself is so ghetto, that anything associated with it (including bill maher) becomes ghetto by osmosis.

peeing while waiting in line at the club is hood
sitting down to go to the bathroom at any point while you’re actually in the club, unless you’ve been overcome with a sudden bout of amoebic dysentery, is ghetto

in an odd paradox, the jay-z song “so ghetto“, off of “volume 3: life and times of s.carter” is actually pretty hood, while “out the hood” by b2k is aggresively ghetto

using a spades game as a viable double dating and/or hook-up opportunity is definitely hood (and surprisingly reliable)

writing “big” and “little” in big ass black letters with a marker on the jokers because your dumb ass cant remember which is which, is ghetto

“md 20/20″ is hood, until you reach 21 (19 in canada). basically, if its legal for you to drink it, then it’s ghetto.

gangsta ass ray nagin is hood, maybe the hoodest mayor of all-time, even though he looks exactly like drew gooden. (yes, i know “hoodest” isnt a word, yes, i have a degree in english and i was an english teacher, and no, i dont see anything wrong with this picture. thanks for asking though)

trifin-ass kwame kilpatrick and his caligula wannabe ass is ghetto

karl kani jeans have always been ghetto, but the belt that used to accompany them is definitely hood

grilling outdoors while its snowing is hood
grilling outdoors with a robe on while its snowing is ghetto (sorry dad)

having a childrens birthday party at mcdonalds is hood
having childrens birthday party at mcdonalds and making all the guests buy their own food is ghetto

i know i’m forgetting a few. readers of the most ignant blog on the internet, what say you? in your opinion, whats the difference between “hood” and “ghetto”?

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1. City Pigeons are Hood
2. Jaheim the Hood Duck Needs to Have ALL of the Seats
3. Whose Dumb Idea Is This? Kohl’s FAILED!

Tags: Hood

Category: Guest Blog