Ya know, construction workers are not the only ones whose jobs are directly affected by this weather. There is another group of working folks that we should all be concerned about: Hookers (of the street walking variety. Not call girls, because call girls really do have representation. And they don’t have to walk any streets. So… umm… no offense to call girls for this post (Alert of inappropriate and ineffective use of the phrase “no offense”)
I mean, think about it. It’s colder than Hitler’s heart out, and these people are expected to be pulling dudes for their services. There are many things wrong with this. Their effectiveness in getting clients is directly affected by their ability to entice, and walking around in down jackets does not seem too sexy and appealing.
Sidenote: Remember that documentary, “Pimps Up, Hoes Down” that came on HBO? Good stuff, I says (and by good stuff, I mean trashy TV at its best).
Hookers are (street) walking with nary a health benefit. There oughta have representation of some sort. Ya know, like a Hooker Union (on some Unionized Ho Sh*t). Ain’t no sick days when it comes to hooking. Sick days are probably those when they have flare-ups of mmhmmm. Hooking in the winter is just no good. How are they gonna do their jobs when their jaws are frozen tight?? Po’ things gotta do something brash for a lil bit of cash. Something strange for a lil bit of change. *Cues violins* for the knee engineers.
Besides this cold weather, it is a recession. Paying for the backwards boogie should be considered discretionary luxury, and who has that kind of fund now? I’m thinking. Did the price of *ss inflate too? Do hookers needs a congressional bailout?? I wonder if they got something like INROADS for hookers to help them with client placement. Wait… these are called Pimps (namedslickback or otherwise) and Madames. Well what about the independent prostitutes with no representation? Yes, what about THEM?
Hos best come up with a marketing plan to show why they are important. They also need sales of some sort, like a buy one get one 50% off deal. Like you know, the chex AND the head. They need to come up with coupons, vouchers, rebates, link cards, business cards, PayPal accounts… (not to be confused with the “Ho Sit Down Gift Basket”. Which they should give to every unsatisfactory client). Hmm… if they need a business manager… I AM always looking for side hustles (multiple income streams make the world go round).
I empathize with the hookers. I’m a humanitarian like that.
P.S. Welcome back fellas! I actually sorta, kinda, maybe, possibly missed you. Although, I know some of you didn’t leave and were slightly traumatized by what you read. I DID warn ya.