Aight so I felt like we needed some testosterone in this piece so I called upon one of my fave bloggers, Mr. Smart Guy for a dose of some masculinity. He originally posted this on his blog on Oct. 29, 2008
Oh, and Mr. Smart Guy’s birthday is tomorrow. Y’all wish his knee-creaking, gout-having, “the sugars”-suffering, Jesus’ 3rd grade teacher self a HAPPY HAPPY BIRFDAY!! (Hehe I keed. Why? B/c I luv) *Singing Mr. Smrt Guy Stevie Wonder version of “Happy Birthday”*
Do for Love
Happy Wednesday! I hope all is well. Two of my good friends from undergrad got married and it was geared up to be the event of the year. People flew in from various places and my homies came in to see this wonderful affair. Needless to say, there was a lot of drinking and other things that are not suitable for this entry.
People were dressed to the gills and people were scoping out who to take home from the reception. I just took it all in – reflecting on the thought that it seems like everyone around me is getting hitched – except for yours truly.
It almost gets you to thinking that you have some flaws; imperfections that make feel inadequate…. but this was a party; a celebration and I decided not to let those thoughts consume me, picked up another drink from the open bar and assumed my spot in the dance floor doing the Electric Slide.
All in all, I had a great time – chilling with the homies; inebriated and flirtatious – who could ask for more? I left the reception with somewhat cloudy thoughts but resigned that good things will come. That thought was still rolling to and fro in my head when I prepped myself to watch football on Sunday morning.
All of sudden, I hear:
Open up the cotdamm do’! (door for those of you who don’t speak Ebonics)
You’re ain’t nothing but a triflin a** n****!
Did you think I wouldn’t find out you were boning another woman?
She can have you and your little thang!
[SIDEBAR - why do some women have to go there? Those are fighting words!]
Apparently, my gigolo of a neighbor had been caught cheating red-handed by his live-in girlfriend and she decided to let the world know his misdeeds. She cursed him out, rented a U-Haul and called the police to make sure she would have safe passage out of the complex.
Upon hearing/seeing that (you know I had to be a lil’ nosy), I realized that sometimes we forget about the downside of romance, affection and adoration. It’s not always sunshine and rose gardens… and things don’t always turn out happily ever after. People have to make sacrifices for ultimate success within a relationship but you shouldn’t have to turn into a completely different person.
With that being said, I have compiled a list of rules to adhere to so that I can keep it real within my relationship.
Things Jorge Just Won’t Do
- Embarrass you in public. Ok, I’ll try not to – but I can’t promise I might not do something accidentally.
- Make you sleep in the wet spot. Always a gentleman first, I’ll grab the towel so that we can cover that up until the morning.
- Leave the toilet seat up. Don’t want you falling in and splashing water all over my floor.
- Smoke rocks. The ashy lips and constant jitters probably won’t make me look the most attractive in your eyes.
- Hit you. Unless it’s a little smack to the back of you…
- Ogle other women. Unless I’m with my boys, then all bets are off. I’m not blind.
- Leave you with a drop of Kool-Aid in the pitcher. That’s just rude.
- Leave the bathroom door open when I’m on the toilet. I expect you to do the same. You may be gorgeous but your poots ain’t cute.
- Steal all of the covers. Unless I’m really tired – then I can’t help myself.
- Fall asleep directly after sex. I’ll wait at least 3 minutes so we can talk.
Now that the rules have been listed, I should be good. You all tell me – what won’t you do for love? I’m all ears.
- Mr. Smart Guy
Category: Guest Blog