Hey folks. Today’s guest blogger is Tea, and she is a ranting extraordinaire. Y’all remember when I went off about how you can’t call anyone’s customer service hotline without getting some Apu caricature, and how it pisses me off. Well she understands my plight. Check out her blog for some more rants.
Customer Service Professionals:
Have you ever met such a group of slackers in your entire life. I mean, there is no other group of people that specialize in not knowing a damn thing.
311 Operator: Hi, this is information
T: Hi, Can you tell me how to get from point A to point B
311: Ma’am this is in-for-ma-tion. This is not the department or motor vehicles or the department of transportation, how am I supposed to know that.
T: This is information, so you need to find out.
Really? REALLY? at the all information line, you mean to tell me you don’t know and you’re not even going to look for a way to find out. I hate you!
This is no different from the people at the post office not knowing the easiest or cheapest way to send my package.
The people at AT&T have no idea why my bill keeps going up every month, but they’re SURE it’s a valid charge.
The people at Comcast aren’t sure who added HBO to my account without my knowledge. They’re shocked and amazed because I live alone and no one else is authorized on my account, but they’re going to transfer me to another non-knowing EM. EFF.
Well, in honor of customer service losers all over the world, I’d like to read a poem I wrote called Do Your Damn Job:
– If I’m up at 6:30 in the morning and I come into Dunkin’ Donuts, I don’t want to hear about how busy you are, I don’t want you snappin’ at me, forgetting my cream and sugar, running out of chocolate donuts… Just do your damn job!
- When I get on the bus Mr. CTA Driver, I don’t really want to hear you groanin’ about traffic. Guess what, I didn’t come here for the bitch and moan show, I don’t want to see you either. I don’t need you screamin’ at me, turnin’ up your ugly face. If I didn’t have to be at work you wouldn’t be here so please Just Do Your Damn Job.
- Listen Madam Walgreens… All I want is a pack of gum so that I can get this Dunkin’ Donuts coffee off my breath. I don’t care that you’re tired, so am I. I don’t care that you’re working… Where do you think I’m going? Please… Just do your damn job
- Listen Mr. I-Speak-Little-English Cab Driver, Don’t start with me today. I don’t want to hear about where I should stand to catch a cab or what side of the street to get in on. I don’t want to be in your stinky cab in the first place. Don’t ask me what I do. None of your business. I haven’t had any sleep, but I can’t afford $30-a-day parking at O’hare, so just get me there and shut-up. Please… Just Do Your Damn Job
- Hi there T.S.A. airport security. I had to put this on a blog cause otherwise you’d give me hell, but guess what. Hollerin’ at me is unnecessary. All you do all day is look at boarding passes and you have the nerve to be mad about it. I’m sorry I’m flying out of town to do WORK. I’ll be WORKING on my laptop at the gate, on the plane, in my rental car, at my hotel and on the way back home. I don’t need all that lip from you while I’m getting things done. Please… Just Do Your Damn Job.
- Hi there Cellular Phone Customer Service Rep. No I didn’t make that call. No I didn’t go over my daytime minutes. Please, don’t argue with me. I know I didn’t make any calls to Nebraska. I didn’t ask you for a breakdown of how my minutes are billed. I’ve been a customer for 8 years. Please just take this charge off my bill and quit getting an attitude. You wouldn’t have two phones and a pager if it wasn’t for me. Please Just Do Your Damn Job.
- Listen, Doctor’s office minimum wage worker. I came in here for a cold and you charged me for the wrong thing. IT IS your fault! You will fix it now! Admit it and stop arguing with me. No, I’m not calling anyone else, No I’m not faxing you anything. No one’s paying me to do that. But I am paying you to Do Your Damn Job… so just do it.
- Hello, Dell PC person from India. No I don’t understand what you are saying. Aren’t there any Dell offices in the states. Of course my PC is plugged up you condescending loser. Don’t give me anymore dumb suggestions. Just remotely troubleshoot my problem. That’s all I ask. Please Just Do Your Damn Job!!!
The next time a customer service representative gets on your nerves (probably happening right now) Tell them T said
JUST DO YOUR DAMN JOB!!
Category: Guest Blog