I very seldom do Saturday posts, and I know I’ve been a blogging fool this week. I usually only do 3 updates a week, but I’ve done 5, and this is my 6th. I had to write this one though because it’s so ridiculous that I can’t ignore it. Plus, Aliya requested, and when writing royalty asks, one answers.
So Tuesday was a nationwide sale at Popeye’s, where you could get an 8-piece for $4.99. I heard about the deal while on Twitter on Monday, and off the bat, I knew that NO good could come from what is basically a chicken clearance.
Stereotypes be d*mned. Black folk LOVE us some fried chicken! Popeye’s on April 22nd was considered off limits to me. For good reason too. By Tuesday evening, there were infinite nationwide reports of mayhem, madness and mass mania. Popeye’s everywhere had lines that were longer than DMX’s rap sheet. This, of course, led to some Popeye’s running outta chicken. But really though. How much chicken could be enough in that instance?
Police intervention was even needed in some places because a bunch of fights broke out. Popeye’s ain’t supposed to turn to “Fight Club”. First rule of Popeye’s, we do NOT talk about chicken. 2nd rule... The last time Black folks ain’t fought this hard, it was 1963 and it involved dogs, water and cops we called “Whitey”.
Don’t get me wrong now. I stan for Popeye’s wings and biscuits in all their greasy, artery-clogging glory. But I’ll be d*mned to the pits of Mama Tina’s Dressing Room Hades to be trampled to death at my young age for some poultry. Clearance on some FIERCE shoes? I just may risk my life. But not for no bird that’ll be gone in 30 seconds.
Then, Aliya sent me a link to this story, where one Popeye’s franchise in Minnesota didn’t participate in the $4.99/8 piece deal. Needless to say, people were LIVID. I did laugh at when the reporter pointed out that despite the deal not being offered, people still bought chicken. Iunno what he thought people were gonna be so outraged as to pass up some chicken in their lifespace? Naw. Chicken is recession-proof.