Lecture in a Cab

Last week, I was heading to the Design for a Cure Fashion Show, and as always, was running late. So I had to cab it. I hail a cab and off the bat I know the cabbie’s Nigerian. Shoot! No offense against Nigerian cab drivers but once they know I’m Nigerian, they get real chatty and I sometimes get in moods where I don’t feel like being too social (shocking, I know). Anyway, I get in the cab and was in a text convo with my BFF so my head was down. All of a sudden, my cab driver yells at someone “You DIE FOR NOTHING! Stupid mudaf*cka!”

I tried MY BEST not to laugh but before I knew it, a cackle escaped from my mouth. I look up to see a pedestrian flipping him the bird.

Cabbie: So you are Nigerian, right?
Me: *thinking “DANGIT* Yes I am
Cabbie: Are you Igbo?
Me: No I’m Yoruba
Cabbie: Ah ok o. Where are you from?
Me: *DARN IT ALL! I don’t feel like talking* Lagos Cabbie: Eh heh! Which part?
Me: *grumbles* Victoria Island
Cabbie: So do you remember the Barracks? (referring to the soldier homes)
Me: No
Cabbie: What about Mushin?
Me: *See why I ain’t want him to know* Nope
Cabbie: Ah ah! When’s the last time you were home
Me: *throws tantrum on the inside* A long time

See here? I was in no mood for 20 questions and I was pretty much making up answers thinking my closed responses would end the conversation but Noooo. That woulda been too much like right. So it continues…

Cabbie: There is no place like home o! You need to go back. Me, I don’t even know why I’m here. I’m just suffering myself for F*cking nothing.

AWKWARD! I was thinking “You mad, huh” (c) Saaphyri but it came out as nervous chuckles and shifty eyes. How am I supposed to respond to this sudden ornery and clear lack of life satisfaction?

As I paid him, he goes “You have to go back home o! This place is just not good.”
Me: *chuckles nervously some more* Thanks!

In the 5 minutes I spent in that cab, I heard someone be cursed out and I got a lecture about my lack of Nigerian pride because it’s been a minute since I’ve been. LOL why must every cabride I take be an adventure?

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LuvBulletins

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