LetterTV

Dear BET, iQuit U

This week’s sternly-worded letter has been well-earned, and quite the opposite of the last letter I wrote. With that being said, I must warn folks. I don’t even like to cuss that much in REAL life. However, I may be slightly vulgar in this letter because I’s pissed. Lawd, is I pissed! So to my fam members who read this (and Granny Doretha in Missississippi), just know I’ont act like this regularly. The rest of y’all, I ain’t worried. LOL.

So, here is my stream of consciousness unfiltered, uncensored and unhappy (well I had to filter a little bit otherwise my blog will be blocked in workplaces everywhere and who wants that?).

Dear BET,

You are DEAD to me. Deader than Sean Paul’s hairline. Deader than Arsenio Hall’s career. Deader than a crackhead’s dignity. I sworefo Queen Yawnce’s favorite lacefront hairhat that if you messed up the BET Awards, I was gon raise all types of Hell and rebuke everyone. Well my word is bond and I plan on doing so, starting with this letter from the bottom of my heart. I ain’t just mad for no reason either.

With the passing of Michael Jackson, King of POP, you made a promise to us all that the Awards show will be revamped to reflect this, with tribute galore in honor of Mr. Jackson. So I, like a dummy, went expecting something of the sort. For the first time in a long time, I was looking forward to an awards show.

Well, to my surprise, y’all devoted about 23 minutes TOPS out of that 3 and a half hour epic show of nothingness to MJ’s glory. These 23 minutes included a tah’d rendition of “ABCs” by Old, New & Decrepit Edition. Was Boyz II Men busy? They could have AT LEAST gotten through it without gasping for air.

The rest of the tributes were by Ne-Yo and Jamie Foxx, who did SANG their behinds off. And Ciara, whose ONLIEST talent is her dancing skill was sitting on a stool? No… just NO! Where were the ACTUAL shucking and jiving tributes to the KANG??? WHERE, BET? I feel tricked, hoodwinked & bamboozled. Y’all are some over-promising fools!

Where was Mariah with the booming voice and 100-person QWAH (choir) to move us all to tears? I even got my best box of Kleenex because I was REST for my thug to be on the floor. My best *wall slide* was on stand by. And you may not agree but I do think Chris Brown would have done an MJ tribute justice. Is it because he Ponned Rihanna’s forehead that y’all said no? Fine then you shouldn’t have had Don Cornelius’ dusty self up there either. Didn’t he just get arrested in November for beating up his wife? Chris AND Don are BOTH outta order but if you will have one, have both. I’m not condoning domestic violence but I just wanted to see a proper tribute and Cbreezy would have done one. Hypocrisy, thy name is B.E.T.

Y’all have been messing up and playing bald-headed games for YEARS! YEARS! Then Bob Johnson sold his people for a billion dollars, and the spiral down to the River Styx got faster. It wasn’t on Mount Kilimanjaro before but at least there was a tiny semblance of sense on there (remember “Teen Summit?”). THIS was the chance to redeem yourself and make Black folks proud. The entire world was watching because you promised us you would do Michael proud.

The biggest entertainer in this generation just passed and you all promised to do him right. But instead, you used him as a ploy to make us watch your 3.5 hours debauchery while sprinkling some mentions of him like dandruff. No. EFFING FAIL BET! FAIL! You are the spam email of television. I add you to the junk folder of my cable TV, never again to be watched (yeah I’m probably lying).

iHatechu and the horse you rode in on (no Jay-Z). You, your overseer Debra Lee, and your entire production staff needs a good old-fashioned Tugaloo, Missississippi ass whooping for that plum foolery you cursed us with. Those are 3.5 hours of my life I can’t ever see again. Not NEVER!

BET, iCan’t with you.

Isweahfo Queen Yawnce’s liquid leggings and one-piece spandex that BET is on my permanent sh*t list, next to beets, horror movies and clowns. iRebuke you in the name of Diva, Halo & Ego to the pits of Dereon Hades w/ 3-headed dog in the finest kanekalon hairhat.

iQuit Black Emblazoned Embarrassment Television in the name of Glitter! *2 fingers up* BET, until you do right by me (and other sensible Black folks), everything you touch will FAIL. Everything you touch will crumble. BET, if you were a VeeDee, you’d be the anti-herpes. You are not the gift that keeps giving. HMPH! Debra Lee, on behalf of Black folks everywhere, I wrinkle my forehead at you and your channel. Like this S:-|. You have FAILED! Please pack your ENTIRE sh*t and GO!

*drops mic*

*comes back*

Oh and expect your “FOOL SADDOWN” vacation package via Wells Fargo within the next 3-6 weeks. Comes with a Penthouse Suite at Chateau de Y’all ain’t Sh*t! That is all.

I got an attitude!

94 Comments

  1. Nikki Wadley
    June 30, 2009 at 6:06 am — Reply

    Oh…oh…Oh Wow! Girl you have outdone yourself once again. Totally giving you a thumbs up with this one and I totally agree! They should never have promised what they could not deliver. I would have been fine with the mini-tributes they had been doing in the prior days. If you can't do it right, don't do it at all!

  2. Beez
    June 30, 2009 at 6:27 am — Reply

    I feel justified from seeing this. I swear, if they didn't hype us up like that, we would've just expected the usual antics. Don't call it a tribute if the only tributizing (I dunno what else to call it) you do is making bootleg pleather outfit knockoffs, a (re)tired a*s Moonwalk, and more plugs for the "Blame it On the Alcohol" tour that should have been allowed. It was kind of like a Jamie Foxx mini-concert, featuring a few other coons, sprinkled with a Michael Jackson picture or thought her and there, with the prime offenders doing the most shouting out. This is why I don't have cable, and why I wish Soulja Boy had broken something jumping out of a 15 foot beeeeeed (who does that anyway)?

    If they woulda just said they dedicated the show to him, I would have understood and stayed my over-expecting a*s home. We should all copy and paste this into e-mails, and flood their inboxes until they all commit Japanese Ritual Suicide.

  3. superwoman
    June 30, 2009 at 6:32 am — Reply

    i learnt a great expression when i was in naija that fits perfectly….. "i go show them pepe!"

    you DEFINITELY did exactly that!!!!!

  4. Neicey
    June 30, 2009 at 8:25 am — Reply

    Everything that was said was true. I was so embarrassed Sunday night…I don't even like discussing the BET awards with people…I feel like it set us as a people back 50 years…right after Soulja Boy sent us back 150 years ago already. BET=Black Exploited Tomfoolery…

  5. STFU
    June 30, 2009 at 8:28 am — Reply

    Man yall need to STFU already about this damn award show! Niggas always complaining about shit. Some of yall are never satisfied! Bitches all on youtube making videos about this. What yall thought bet was going to do?

  6. Blackberry Molasses
    June 30, 2009 at 11:02 am — Reply

    I like the idea of the ritual suicide. I'll even finance the katanas… if I can watch.

  7. Blackberry Molasses
    June 30, 2009 at 11:03 am — Reply

    FOOL, SADDOWN!!!

    Don't like it, don't read it. Thank you and goodnight (or rather, good morning).

  8. Genma
    June 30, 2009 at 6:05 am — Reply

    ! am on the floor lmao! youss my fam for life. Mother (Doretha) can go to heaven now!
    Genma
    http://genmaspeaks.blogspot.com

  9. Genma
    June 30, 2009 at 6:05 am — Reply

    ! am on the floor lmao! youss my fam for life. Mother (Doretha) can go to heaven now!
    Genma
    http://genmaspeaks.blogspot.com

  10. Genma
    June 30, 2009 at 6:05 am — Reply

    ! am on the floor lmao! youss my fam for life. Mother (Doretha) can go to heaven now!
    Genma
    http://genmaspeaks.blogspot.com

  11. Genma
    June 30, 2009 at 6:05 am — Reply

    ! am on the floor lmao! youss my fam for life. Mother (Doretha) can go to heaven now!
    Genma
    http://genmaspeaks.blogspot.com

  12. Genma
    June 30, 2009 at 6:05 am — Reply

    ! am on the floor lmao! youss my fam for life. Mother (Doretha) can go to heaven now!
    Genma
    http://genmaspeaks.blogspot.com

  13. Genma
    June 30, 2009 at 6:05 am — Reply

    ! am on the floor lmao! youss my fam for life. Mother (Doretha) can go to heaven now!
    Genma
    http://genmaspeaks.blogspot.com

  14. Blackberry Molasses
    June 30, 2009 at 11:17 am — Reply

    Even though I didn't actually WATCH the show, I thank my FB peeps and Tweeps for the play by play.

    We all know that BET is coontastically whack. It was a given that they would do their finest new millennium minstrel show. And most sensible black folk would have just said "PASS." Or expected to go into roast overload.

    I think folks are upset about the fact that the show was hyped to be a tribute to MJ, and thus their expectations were high. And they got duped. It was coontastic as ever and really didn't do the King of Pop justice. Atall. I'm PISSED and I didn't even watch (well, I caught lowlights on youtube). And for true MJ fans, this was particularly PAINFUL.

    Its like going to a funeral for a loved one and instead of choosing the cousin whose rendition of "His Eye is on the Sparrow" would bring Mickey Rourke to tears, they find Cuzin Joletha who 1.) Can't carry a note to save her existence and 2.) Makes the funeral all about her.

    That is exactly what BET did. And THAT is why people are PISSED.

    ****I mean really… No Mariah and her rendition of "I'll Be There"? I mean, Jamie and Ne-Yo did they thang (though they messed up the lyrics at the end) but MARIAH??! i get goosebumps just thinking about what she would have done. ***

    Oh, and when I saw the palpable pain in Janet's face, I felt like it was MY brother who died. She was so brave to do that. Many many kudos to her and much love.

  15. PBG
    June 30, 2009 at 12:05 pm — Reply

    BET failed like no other failure in the history of the entire universe. Failed worse than both Bush administrations combined. Failed harder than 40 acres & a mule. Failed harder than me on a calculus exam! I am appalled and ashamed!

    But, really…what did we expect? BET=Buffoonery Every Time

  16. eysqueen
    June 30, 2009 at 12:29 pm — Reply

    you know, BET has been a major disgrace to the race for years now, all the while educating the youth on how to act foolish all the time. Black folks are always so ready to snatch a person's black card for appearing to assimilate into another race, can we pull BET's race card for disgracing the race? I call for major resignations of all people who make us look bad ALL THE TIME, please. If not, we're going to have to start burning things…(and people)

  17. N.I.A. naturally
    June 30, 2009 at 12:40 pm — Reply

    thank you for this!! i was so angry about that darn awards show. they hyped that show so much as a MJ tribute that i even had my momma tuning in to see it. last night, i called momma to apologize for not protecting her against that Buffoonery Electronically Transmitted. BET led us all down the path of unrighteousness, and the entire office should just burn up and decend into hell just like Carrie and her mother.

  18. Urban Sista
    June 30, 2009 at 12:50 pm — Reply

    I love you. You made my life after the BET Awards worth living again.

  19. PBG
    June 30, 2009 at 1:04 pm — Reply

    I love it! Invoking the name of Carrie and her mama! To the deepest pits of hell with BET!!

  20. Shannon
    June 30, 2009 at 1:28 pm — Reply

    Perfect. "lacefront hairhat." perfection.

  21. Luvvie
    June 30, 2009 at 1:50 pm — Reply

    YESSS!! Please tell Ma'am Doretha that this was for her!

  22. Luvvie
    June 30, 2009 at 1:51 pm — Reply

    Exactly! Don't be promising me some grandiose tribute show and give me an amateur contest. BOOOOO!!!

  23. Luvvie
    June 30, 2009 at 1:56 pm — Reply

    LMAO!! Not the kamikaze pilots! LOL brutal! I just think their entire production staff should punish themselves by getting papercuts and dipping their hands in alcohol

  24. Luvvie
    June 30, 2009 at 1:57 pm — Reply

    YES O! I showed them bastahds pepe. Rubbish and jabbajantis. Classless wonders. Us Naijas have the best expressions lol

  25. Luvvie
    June 30, 2009 at 2:01 pm — Reply

    "Black Exploited Tomfoolery" – I approve

  26. Luvvie
    June 30, 2009 at 2:02 pm — Reply

    "Niggas always complaining about shit."

    Well thanks for this glorious contribution to the discussion. o_0

  27. true2me
    June 30, 2009 at 2:19 pm — Reply

    I have to disagree to an extent.

    And as I keep saying..and even blogged about it….YOU TRY MAKING CHANGES TO A MAJOR AWARDS SHOW IN 48 HOURS. I dont care..Im sorry. Its hard enough to plan an awards let alone make some changes. Think about it..Its wack after months of planning…how much more can we expect in 2 damn days.

    yall expected TOO MUCH from the beginning..yall set Yall selves up for disappointment. Everyone was going off emotion and what not. DO any of YOU GUYS know how hard it is to plan and organize and awards show? Do any of you have years of experience running and making an awards show? ANY OF YOU?

    Im SURE that they are going to plan something much bigger and better SPECIFICALLY dedicated to JUST MICHAEL JACKSON. Just hold your horses and be patient…

    It was IMPOSSIBLE to do what you guys THOUGHT they SHOULD have done with this show to honor Mike. Mike is a legend, the biggest musical icon ever, 2 days is just not enough time to organize and execute a spectacular tribute.

    True

  28. true2me
    June 30, 2009 at 2:21 pm — Reply

    If yall would tune in to the other aspects of BET, you would know its not ONLY "BUFFOONERY"

    yall know so much about the "buffoonery" because yall probably love to watch it lol

    U just can't win for losing with black folk..its like its in our blood to complain

  29. Luvvie
    June 30, 2009 at 2:24 pm — Reply

    Actually, I never have expectations for the BET Awards and expect CRAP. However, when BET themselves said that they would devote most of the show to MJ, they put it out there. If they hadn't made that bold statement and had everyone expecting them to, people would not have thought "YES I WILL SEE an MJ Tribute SHOW". BET made promises it couldn't keep. Thats what it comes down to.

    And NO BET has not mentioned that it has another MJ tribute in the works so that assumption is not being held by me.

  30. AssertiveWit
    June 30, 2009 at 2:38 pm — Reply

    STFU and true2me are funny and gave me great laughter this morning.

    Luvvie, keep doing what you do best…acting a damn clown on people who NEED to be clowned. BET shouldn't be a channel that AUTOMATICALLY comes with standard cable; it should be an option because I most certainly DO NOT want it included in my cable package ever. I don't see your jone-ing on BET as a "complaint"…you're having a free for all session on the clowns who participated in the show, thank you for sharing.

    As for how much work it takes to put into a production like the awards show…that's the LAMEST excuse EVER in life! BET knows EVERY year they are gonna do an awards show and you would think they would take notes from OTHER award shows to perfect their slop…yet they don't and THAT'S why they deserve to be clowned. MTV is not exempt from clowning either…they used to have THE BEST award shows; now it seems like they are competing with BET and The Source awards for who can be most ridiculous.

    I was reading some erotica during the awards…that's how much I cared. LOL

  31. Nicole
    June 30, 2009 at 3:07 pm — Reply

    Can I get a witness? You have me over here at work bustin' out! I was upset at the lack of Michael Jackson tribute that BET put on. Granted it was last minute, but they could've done a lot better IMO. Ne-Yo was probably the only worthwhile person there. I was so upset with the show that I stopped watching after then brought out Aaron Halls ole broke ass to sing. I'm like dang no Boyz II Men? No Jodeci. Hell KCi may be drugged out but his ass can still sing..! It just reminded me why I stopped watching BET oh so long ago.

  32. Ms_Slim
    June 30, 2009 at 3:12 pm — Reply

    I dig this letter. I too was very upset with the awards show. Sure they had the show wrapped up before his passing, that goes without saying. But if you SAY and ADVERTISE that you guys have "worked so hard to give MJ the best tribute possible" (c) Debra Lee, then that's what we EXPECT. Like you, I have NO expectations of BET. My expectations are so low, Sunday night was the last time I watched BET in YEARS! iQuit that station years ago–right around the time Cita's World got too popular. SHE was doing the MOST…and I thereby QUIT then!

    But yea Sunday night pissed me off big time. I kept flip flopping between the show and "The Jacksons: An American Dream" that was on another station. In a way, I shouldnt be too upset…cuz they've been on bull for years as you said…..I have just been so emotional over MJ. It STILL feels surreal to me.

    *PS; Definitely thought you'd do more cussin in this though. Eff does not substitute the real "F" word LOL Don't hold back, Luvvie :)

  33. BlacknBougie.com
    June 30, 2009 at 3:12 pm — Reply

    Co-signing on note to BET. Two words for them: Done, son! Adding you to the blogroll.. http://www.blacknbougie.com/2009/06/wbfdd-what-bo

  34. BlacknBougie.com
    June 30, 2009 at 3:12 pm — Reply

    Co-signing on note to BET. Two words for them: Done, son! Adding you to the blogroll.. http://www.blacknbougie.com/2009/06/wbfdd-what-bo

  35. BlacknBougie.com
    June 30, 2009 at 3:12 pm — Reply

    Co-signing on note to BET. Two words for them: Done, son! Adding you to the blogroll.. http://www.blacknbougie.com/2009/06/wbfdd-what-bo

  36. BlacknBougie.com
    June 30, 2009 at 3:12 pm — Reply

    Co-signing on note to BET. Two words for them: Done, son! Adding you to the blogroll.. http://www.blacknbougie.com/2009/06/wbfdd-what-bo

  37. BlacknBougie.com
    June 30, 2009 at 3:12 pm — Reply

    Co-signing on note to BET. Two words for them: Done, son! Adding you to the blogroll.. http://www.blacknbougie.com/2009/06/wbfdd-what-bo

  38. BlacknBougie.com
    June 30, 2009 at 3:12 pm — Reply

    Co-signing on note to BET. Two words for them: Done, son! Adding you to the blogroll.. http://www.blacknbougie.com/2009/06/wbfdd-what-bo

  39. Robin Monique
    June 30, 2009 at 3:18 pm — Reply

    I held off on commenting, but I have to say that BET is getting EXACTLY what they deserve in regards to the backlash against that mess of an awards show. I heard BET VP of Programming (I think that's his title) Stephen Hill on Tom Joyner the morning after MJ's death PROMISING an epic tribute show to Michael Jackson. Tom asked him REPEATEDLY if they'd be able to pull something noteworthy together in such a short amount of time and Hill guaranteed that they would. This is another case of BET being the Nigga of television, writing checks with insufficient funds. Don't get mad when your shit BOUNCES!!!

  40. Cheekie
    June 30, 2009 at 3:39 pm — Reply

    The only reason folks expected to too much is because they OVERHYPED it. THEY were the ones promoting it, we didn't pull this expectation outta nowhere. I coulda been hella rich if I had a dime for how many times they mentioned how great the tribute was gonna be during the pre-show.

    It would've been better if they just made a statement at the awards show and decided to do an ACTUAL tribute to him, rehearsed and everything. And they can…not sit down…but LIE DOWN with that ill-prepared mess. They got themselves into this and promised the greatest and fell shorter than Emmanuel Lewis' jumpshot. They could've done ONE dance tribute…they didn't even have create any choreography…the bulk of it is done for them. At least coulda did a Thriller routine or the Motown 25 Billie Jean routine…something.____And folks can save the "ninjas always complaining" mess, because it's not so much complaining as it is about setting higher standards. What is really the problem with Black folks is not complaining, but SETTLING. We shouldn't settle for mediocore, we should be the best. We have the power to do so, well then we should show for it.

  41. Cheekie
    June 30, 2009 at 3:41 pm — Reply

    Great letter, Luvvie. As always, you have me cracking up like Humpty Dumpty. No better than the Queen IG to roast the ignant display of an award show.

  42. Tan
    June 30, 2009 at 4:04 pm — Reply

    I totally agree. I quit the Black Embarssment Television Awards after year one. Just can not watch us chucking, jiving and cursing, can't do it. When BET said they were doing a tribute to Michael and C. Breezy would perform, I was excited. The only way I made it thru was the possiblility that CB was performing at the end of the show, and my Facebook friends. I feel like I was robbed 3 1/2 hrs of of my precious life. Never, evah again. I don't care who died!

  43. Sane
    June 30, 2009 at 4:07 pm — Reply

    I just pulled a gang of dirt over my body and laid still. LMAO! I felt the exact same way. Dead @ hair hat, ROFLMAO!!! Then you said "if you're gonna have one, have them BOTH", that is SO me! LOLOLOLOL! You were 100% with this one, hilarious!

  44. Cheekie
    June 30, 2009 at 4:13 pm — Reply

    For every complainer, there is a ninja complaining about the complaining. lmao

  45. Neicy
    June 30, 2009 at 5:06 pm — Reply

    *Takes my chapel cap off, gloves, and ursher pin*

    This….THIS…was church!

    From the roota to the toota, the entire show was a ratings ploy to get poor, unsuspecting people to watch the Proud Mary of horror awards shows. Vibe could have done better. Source could have done better. Snoop could have got up and asked,"Y'all ain't got no love for the Kang?!"

    All in all, I was hoping against hope that something positive would show itself proven to honor MJJ, and after Keri Hilson perculated and twerked for more than 5 minutes, I gave up and a little bit of my soul. Then, to make matters worse, I see the Barney's of Hoodrats–Citi Trends–is sponsoring the show, and quit being black, left my mama's house where the cable was, and read a book.

  46. superwoman
    June 30, 2009 at 5:18 pm — Reply

    ha ha ha ha ha, luvvie, you KILL me!!! please god i NEVER get on your wrong side, i would NOT survive the fire!!! JABBAJANTIS????????? that's a fantastic one-o!

  47. LadyJay
    June 30, 2009 at 5:35 pm — Reply

    I gotta disagree with you. BET is a billion dollar network. They shouldn't have promised to make the awards show a tribute to MJ if they couldn't deliver one. Even their press statements said they had a bunch of stars ask to do tributes. Evidently they turned them down. Stephen Hill didn't wanna come out at the end of the show b/c he knows he did a piss-poor job. Just the thought of Ciara singing is enough to say the show was bad.

    Even without the tributes(if that's what you wanna call them) it was a terrible show. The set was cheesy, the host was lit up like the California wildfires, the performances were mediocre at best., the sound kept fading in and out, the director forgot to inform Jamie when he was back on the air. It was pathetic. I hope no one thinks that show was an accurate representaion of me as a black person.

  48. Luvvie
    June 30, 2009 at 5:40 pm — Reply

    LMAO!!! Aint that the truth?

  49. Luvvie
    June 30, 2009 at 5:42 pm — Reply

    You are very right. They hyped it up and it failed worse than a 20-yr old high school freshie. WOMP!

    And gurl, Janet almost made me do a wall slide. The sadness in her eyes… LAWD! I just wanted to hug her

  50. Luvvie
    June 30, 2009 at 5:42 pm — Reply

    YESSS they failed harder than Rod Blagojevich.

  51. Luvvie
    June 30, 2009 at 5:43 pm — Reply

    Gurl the American Council of Negro Confirmation called and rejected BET from membership. Their Black card is officially in a paper shredder

  52. Luvvie
    June 30, 2009 at 5:44 pm — Reply

    I'm glad I have given you a reason to live again. I think we were all losing the will after seeing that horrendous production. UGH!

  53. Luvvie
    June 30, 2009 at 5:44 pm — Reply

    *curtsies*

  54. Luvvie
    June 30, 2009 at 5:50 pm — Reply

    *applause* Thank you for this

  55. Luvvie
    June 30, 2009 at 5:51 pm — Reply

    IF we tuned in but I don't. BET has no programming that is of interest to me. 106 & Park?? I wish I would!

  56. Luvvie
    June 30, 2009 at 5:54 pm — Reply

    Aint they hilarious??? o_0

  57. Luvvie
    June 30, 2009 at 5:55 pm — Reply

    No K-Ci! bwahahahaha! He's somewhere scratching his neck and rocking back and forth as we speak! po' thang

  58. Luvvie
    June 30, 2009 at 5:56 pm — Reply

    LOL I had to hold back, otherwise work filters would block me and we don't want that.

  59. Luvvie
    June 30, 2009 at 5:56 pm — Reply

    Thanks for the blogroll love!!! Will b checking out your site. I'm always looking for the newest IG read

  60. Luvvie
    June 30, 2009 at 5:58 pm — Reply

    "writing checks with insufficient funds. Don't get mad when your shit BOUNCES!!!"

    LMAO!!! Can the church say "HALLELUUUUUYYAAHHH"??? They running their moufs and couldnt back it up w/ NUFFIN! The repo man oughta come collect BET for outstanding debts

  61. Luvvie
    June 30, 2009 at 5:59 pm — Reply

    *takes a bow* (No Pon de Fo'head)

  62. Luvvie
    June 30, 2009 at 6:01 pm — Reply

    That is why I call them SPAM! They make you come watch it thinking you're gonna see something else. UGH! Thats the only reason I stayed watching it. I felt like if I was to change channel, I'd finally miss the tribute. But alas… *shakes head*

  63. Luvvie
    June 30, 2009 at 6:02 pm — Reply

    "I just pulled a gang of dirt over my body and laid still. LMAO!"

    And I just did the same b/c that is funny as hell!!! *dead*

  64. Luvvie
    June 30, 2009 at 6:04 pm — Reply

    Not the ursher pin! Does Sister O'Dell know you taking off the uniform? U kno she se'ous bout the urshers being presentable at All times!

    And umm… *crickets* bout Keri Hilson's performance. I was just done w/ her. Iunno what she thought she was doing but I wanted Sandman Sam to come get his cane and pull her off stage with it. BOOOO, negress. BOOO!!!

  65. delacool
    June 30, 2009 at 6:10 pm — Reply

    Luvvie!!!!! Wow. Someone needs to fax this to Debra Lee, but I doubt she would even read it sense it's obvious she doesn't give a crap about what comes across her desk. She had the nerve to give her staff props! I expected it to be bad, but THAT was just….there are no words. Then, I had to sit thru Tiny and Frankie every five minutes! The devil has made his ass mighty comfortable at BET. I CAN NOT.

  66. Blackberry Molasses
    June 30, 2009 at 6:12 pm — Reply

    all dat wall slidin… you must have paint on your body where ain't no paint supposed to be!

  67. Tan2
    June 30, 2009 at 6:21 pm — Reply

    I wondered the same thing. Once she saw the crowd wasn't with her, get the off the stage. I starting to think Keri should stick to song writing, because performing isn't for her.

  68. SimplySona
    June 30, 2009 at 6:25 pm — Reply

    what about when Zoe mentioned that the original Uhuru was in the bathroom? how hood was that, y the hell she go to the bathroom that close to her time to present? She prolly was in the bathroom taking a drink, cuz she did look a lil off when she came on stage…

    Dare u mention the Baby Boy skit… BET swears BABY BOY is the best movie of all times, (evident in the fact that they play it 2xs a week, and that shit is old as hell, and they still putting the skits in the awards show…)

  69. SheHateMe
    June 30, 2009 at 7:00 pm — Reply

    Bullsh*t Every Time has done it again. *I* could've put on a better tribute.

    Duping people into watching your BS channel by capitalizing on the death of the King of Pop? Yeah, change that B into a I, because that's for Ignorant aggin's right there.

    I think your letter should be read by an authoritative voice, one like Maya Angelou, and placed in a 2 minute ad and played on Bullsh*t Every Time until they are canceled.

  70. Lite Bread
    June 30, 2009 at 7:13 pm — Reply

    Yer Mostest High Awesomelynessis,
    You are Blowin’ up bigger than Kanye’s Forehead!!!
    I pee’ed my office chair at Least 8 times, had HR up here tellin’ me they “don’t care what your title is, you can’t holler out loud like that and scare the office staff” and spit my yogurt back up an’ out my nose, tryin’ to eat and read this!
    You, girl, are Beyond Awesome. You now need a new title.

    And the Black Snob picked you up too! e-Boo, you explodin’ bigger than a Khomeini hatin’ on Twitter!

    And yer avatar gots my heart all a-twitter too. e-Scowl! You So cute … I think I wanta have yer baby … *(screeeeeeech … hard-drive brain crash ….)

  71. K to the...
    June 30, 2009 at 8:41 pm — Reply

    Comes with a Penthouse Suite at Chateau de Y'all ain't Sh*t! That is all.

    iCant…iShant…but…iDid! LMAO!!!! I heart you, Ife!!!

  72. Naturally Alise
    June 30, 2009 at 10:02 pm — Reply

    That letter t'was awesome my hairhat partner in crime…. this line is the awesomest:

    ". Comes with a Penthouse Suite at Chateau de Y'all ain't Sh*t! That is all."

  73. Naturally Alise
    June 30, 2009 at 10:03 pm — Reply

    oh yeah, and thanks for the eShout out!

  74. Missy
    July 1, 2009 at 3:27 am — Reply

    Does anyone else think it's weird that some feel that we expected too much?! I mean for real, for real…even when they don't change up the format for a "tribute" it isn't much better. I guess I'll have to wait for "others" to put something together that's decent. BET didn't do anyone any favors by doing a "tribute" during the awards show. What they did was try to kill two birds with one stone. The awards show even with rehearsals and prior planning are always sub par. The awards show with last minute changes AND an added tribute…a train wreck waiting to happen.

    Why can't we expect better? Why do we have to accept sub par performances from the "executives" at BET? I am a very forgiving person but this drew the line for me. I'm done.

  75. Lucky
    July 1, 2009 at 4:36 am — Reply

    Luvvie, once again, excellent job! You have truly outdone yourself with this letter! Only you could properly enunciate the subtle and not-so-subtle nuances of BET's epic fail.

  76. mcarter251
    July 1, 2009 at 5:08 pm — Reply

    I'm in tears after reading this. I agree on so many of you points and I'm happy to know that I'm not the only person who was disappointed in BET.

  77. Miss_Mielle
    July 1, 2009 at 6:20 pm — Reply

    You know….it my heart of hearts, I KNOW I shouldn't have expected so much. I knew when I MTV switched to 24-hour MJ videos whilst BET did not a damn thing but a logo in the bottom right that nothing that even broached the level up appropriateness was going to occur….why oh WHY did I allow my hopes to rise? I haven't watched a BET awards show in YEARS!!! Not only did I watch it, I reminded my mom to watch it, thinking it was truly going to be something special. I am sick to DEATH of BET's antics….I can't begin to imagine how they could possibly think that this award's who was appropriate, let alone their daily program. BET is disgraceful and irrelevant. There really is no reason for it to continue to be on the air.

  78. RBee
    July 1, 2009 at 11:34 pm — Reply

    Apparently Cover Girl was one of the sponsors of the BE[vil]T Awards this year, and threatened to pull the plug if Chris Brown performed[might have had something to do with Rihanna being a CG but I can not confirm nor deny].

  79. Luvvie
    July 2, 2009 at 1:51 am — Reply

    When she gave her staff props, I wanted to jump through that TV and hand deliver her "Fool Saddown" gift basket. BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

  80. Luvvie
    July 2, 2009 at 1:52 am — Reply

    Zoe Saldana and her stilt legs were outta line for tellin the lady's business like that. And Baby Boy plays at LEAST 4.3 times every week on BEt.

  81. Luvvie
    July 2, 2009 at 1:56 am — Reply

    YESSSS!! Maya Angelou would do this justice. And she can end with the line "When BET shows you who they are, believe them". Would be awesome!

  82. Luvvie
    July 2, 2009 at 1:57 am — Reply

    LMAO @ Kanye's Forehead. Lite Bread, you STOOPID! I saw your comment on my post over at the Black Snob's. Sigh. You rock my socks, Litey. You does!!!

  83. Luvvie
    July 2, 2009 at 1:59 am — Reply

    Heart you too, K!!!

  84. Luvvie
    July 2, 2009 at 2:00 am — Reply

    *curtsies*

  85. Luvvie
    July 2, 2009 at 2:01 am — Reply

    Thank you! When did it become foolish to expect subparity from BET? Hell. We have standards. It's sad that MTV is probably gonna put together a better tribute for MJ than we did. Truly sad

  86. Luvvie
    July 2, 2009 at 2:02 am — Reply

    Thanks, Lucky!!!

  87. Luvvie
    July 2, 2009 at 2:02 am — Reply

    You, me and the entire world (minus a few people) think BET jacked this up

  88. Luvvie
    July 2, 2009 at 2:03 am — Reply

    I wonder too why I let myself get my hopes up just to have it stumped on. BET can burn in Dereon hell.

  89. Luvvie
    July 2, 2009 at 2:03 am — Reply

    I've heard that too. Hmm…

  90. N.I.A. naturally
    July 2, 2009 at 2:57 am — Reply

    What are the other aspects of BET? b/c if I'm missing quality programming, then I would like to know so I can rectify the situation….

  91. Brownngirl
    July 8, 2009 at 7:58 am — Reply

    Yes, indeedy. Like many of y'all, I haven't watch BET in many many moons as I tire easily of the buffoonery. I didn't even watch the award show as I wasn't expecting much. I caught about the last half hour b/c I saw people on twitter from the east coast saying Janet was on it, so I had to catch that when I saw her. I agree with your post to boot…. and I didn't even see most of it.

    I just know when I tuned in and saw CHILDREN up there background dancing to Lil' Wayne and n'em… AND the lyrics were being bleeped out every other word… I almost had to do a *wall slide* myself.

    P.S. I literally burst out LMAO at "qwah." LOL!

  92. SaneN85
    June 29, 2010 at 11:47 am — Reply

    You silly. I’m glad you linked this in today’s post, because I needed this foolishness. They did redeem themselves a little this year and Chris Brown did a much better job in the tribute.

  93. [...] recap was in TWO parts. First I flipped tables at the awfulness that was the awards. Then I wrote BET a scathing letter. Either way, I went into this awards just knowing that my side-eye would be on overdrive. Well [...]

  94. Kikib
    June 30, 2010 at 8:10 pm — Reply

    OMG! I found your page by visiting a favorite page of mine that I lurk on (shouts out to thecynicalones) I’m over here crying while I read this! I mean tears. I Died, revived myself, and then Died again! I love it! You’ve officially been added to my favorites!

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