I blame Groupthink
As you must be aware now, I have a personal vendetta against trends and all that comes with it. I seldom participate in trendy fashion because I like to be able to rock whatever is in my closet 6 months from now. Hell, even 2 months. The last trend I participated in actively was the Trucker Hats, and yes, I am VERY ashamed of it. I even had two one with my name spray-painted on it. Oh to be an impressionable college freshman.
A lot of trends are downright FUGLY. Remember the ponchos hype? Everyone walking around wearing capes and ish when they are neither ugly nor is their name Betty. And the worst were the ones that were crocheted. EEWWW!!! Then there was the boxing boots phase, when everyone was wearing those gym shoe boots that come up to your calf, with your pants tucked into it. I remember this chick in my dorm who had about 5 of them, and wore nothing else. Even then I shook my head and wondered what she was gonna do when all of a sudden, they became outta style. Shoeless Joe indeed.
The reason trends are so popular comes down the concept of Groupthink and how folks can convince themselves that something is cute or acceptable all because other people are doing it. The current victims of GroupThink are:
- The Stanky Legg – I avoided even knowing what this was for a couple of months. Then I saw a Youtube video of 3 hoodrats who clearly spent their days watching 106 & Park and aspiring to be a “vixen”. They all had the paintbrush ponytails too (you know, the ones that are wispy and scarce). These girls proceeded to spend 5 mins doing their best (or worst. Depends on how you look at it) Stanky Legg routine and then capped it off with an *ss juke that
impressed mehad me scowling. The fact that I’ve seen GROWN folks do the Stanky Legg and think it’s ok just lets me know one thing: Groupthink is a B*tch!
- Soulja Boy – No I don’t think he killed Hip Hop. Methinks Hip Hop was on life support and he tripped over the cord. This boy could not have been a celebrity in the 90s. I refuse to believe that. I can’t even call his music mediocre, because that would give him too much credit. He is subpar at best, horrendous at worst. I’m not hating on the boy’s hustle though. If I can get away with using white-out on my glasses while stringing together unclever yet catchy lyrics and become a millionaire at 19, then I woulda BEEN done it. Somehow, he is the lust-subject of every urban tweenager and is being envied by every irrelevant old Hip Hop head (*side-eye to Ice-T*). But his popularity brings me to one thing: Groupthink is a Biatch!
- Asher Roth – Anytime I watch MTV nowadays, I see a commercial with his video. The first time I saw it, I thought “What is Eminem’s less angsty little brother doing on MTV?”. I don’t get the hype with him. He is a white boy who is speaking (I don’t call what he’s doing rapping) over a beat with some rhythm. His lyrics aren’t even witty and he doesn’t have a dope flow. Yet everywhere I see, people are talking about him. I don’t get it. His flow is decent at best, boring at most. How did he walk into a record company and the Exec goes “He is DOPE! We must sign it?” I know we miss Marshall Mathers but can we at least get a replacement that’s half as good? WOMP! Groupthink is a…
- Ed Hardy Clothing – So apparently, the Rock n Roll look is in. Ed Hardy clothes and shoes are some of the most over-designed things. They are super busy, with all types of skulls, banners, flowers, chains,
cookies, cakes… With angsty messages like “Love kills slowly”. Anything that Bret Michaels wears should not be a trend. (This is the same guy that is rocking a Bandana-tail. I am convinced that the hair he has is sewn into that bandana he wears. Remember those phony ponytails that were attached to the baseball caps way back in the day? Yup, same thing. You ain’t fooling me, Bret. I’m ON to you). What also trips me out the most about these is how “thugs” are now rocking Ed Hardy. Um, newsflash, thugs don’t wear yellow t-shirts that are bedazzled with red, purple and green design over it. Ed Hardy is Rock N Roll’s version of Dereon. Its omnipresence FURTHER lets me know that Groupthink is a bia bia.
- Leggings as pants – This is a trend that I wish would die a violent death and go to the pits of bedazzled and emblazoned Dereon Hades. I am not anti-leggings, just anti-leggings as pants. I’m sick of seeing women rocking cropped shirt with leggings, showing not only their tush (I’m mad I can tell what color drawers you got on. Or in more severe cases, that you are going commando), but also seeing people’s camel toes. Ladies ain’t ‘posed to be having their paw prints visible, unless they go by a name like CandyCane or Sapphyric Thunda. Leggings are not the most friendly piece of cloth you can rock because they emphasize every imperfection, and could sometimes create new ones. I’ve seen more than my share of folks rocking leggings while their thighs are looking like the surface of the moon. Just uncouth. If folks are going to wear them, all I ask is that they rock a shirt that’s long enough to cover their tush and get that size UP so the po’ leggings don’t have stretch marks. I’m just saying…
Bless our little impressionable hearts. Just because every Tom, Dick & Harriet is doing something does not mean it is meant for us. Let’s self-edit, folks.
So tell me. What trends do you find illogical?