FashionMusic

I Blame Groupthink

As you must be aware now, I have a personal vendetta against trends and all that comes with it. I seldom participate in trendy fashion because I like to be able to rock whatever is in my closet 6 months from now. Hell, even 2 months. The last trend I participated in actively was the Trucker Hats, and yes, I am VERY ashamed of it. I even had two one with my name spray-painted on it. Oh to be an impressionable college freshman.

A lot of trends are downright FUGLY. Remember the ponchos hype? Everyone walking around wearing capes and ish when they are neither ugly nor is their name Betty. And the worst were the ones that were crocheted. EEWWW!!! Then there was the boxing boots phase, when everyone was wearing those gym shoe boots that come up to your calf, with your pants tucked into it. I remember this chick in my dorm who had about 5 of them, and wore nothing else. Even then I shook my head and wondered what she was gonna do when all of a sudden, they became outta style. Shoeless Joe indeed.

The reason trends are so popular comes down the concept of Groupthink and how folks can convince themselves that something is cute or acceptable all because other people are doing it. The current victims of GroupThink are:

The Stanky Legg – I avoided even knowing what this was for a couple of months. Then I saw a Youtube video of 3 hoodrats who clearly spent their days watching 106 & Park and aspiring to be a “vixen”. They all had the paintbrush ponytails too (you know, the ones that are wispy and scarce). These girls proceeded to spend 5 mins doing their best (or worst. Depends on how you look at it) Stanky Legg routine and then capped it off with an *ss juke that impressed me had me scowling. The fact that I’ve seen GROWN folks do the Stanky Legg and think it’s ok just lets me know one thing: Groupthink is a B*tch!

Soulja Boy – No I don’t think he killed Hip Hop. Methinks Hip Hop was on life support and he tripped over the cord. This boy could not have been a celebrity in the 90s. I refuse to believe that. I can’t even call his music mediocre, because that would give him too much credit. He is subpar at best, horrendous at worst. I’m not hating on the boy’s hustle though. If I can get away with using white-out on my glasses while stringing together unclever yet catchy lyrics and become a millionaire at 19, then I woulda BEEN done it. Somehow, he is the lust-subject of every urban tweenager and is being envied by every irrelevant old Hip Hop head (*side-eye to Ice-T*). But his popularity brings me to one thing: Groupthink is a Biatch!

Asher Roth – Anytime I watch MTV nowadays, I see a commercial with his video. The first time I saw it, I thought “What is Eminem’s less angsty little brother doing on MTV?”. I don’t get the hype with him. He is a white boy who is speaking (I don’t call what he’s doing rapping) over a beat with some rhythm. His lyrics aren’t even witty and he doesn’t have a dope flow. Yet everywhere I see, people are talking about him. I don’t get it. His flow is decent at best, boring at most. How did he walk into a record company and the Exec goes “He is DOPE! We must sign it?” I know we miss Marshall Mathers but can we at least get a replacement that’s half as good? WOMP! Groupthink is a…

Ed Hardy Clothing – So apparently, the Rock n Roll look is in. Ed Hardy clothes and shoes are some of the most over-designed things. They are super busy, with all types of skulls, banners, flowers, chains, cookies, cakes… With angsty messages like “Love kills slowly”. Anything that Bret Michaels wears should not be a trend. (This is the same guy that is rocking a Bandana-tail. I am convinced that the hair he has is sewn into that bandana he wears. Remember those phony ponytails that were attached to the baseball caps way back in the day? Yup, same thing. You ain’t fooling me, Bret. I’m ON to you).

What also trips me out the most about these is how “thugs” are now rocking Ed Hardy. Um, newsflash, thugs don’t wear yellow t-shirts that are bedazzled with red, purple and green design over it. Ed Hardy is Rock N Roll’s version of Dereon. Its omnipresence FURTHER lets me know that Groupthink is a bia bia.

Leggings as pants – This is a trend that I wish would die a violent death and go to the pits of bedazzled and emblazoned Dereon Hades. I am not anti-leggings, just anti-leggings as pants. I’m sick of seeing women rocking cropped shirt with leggings, showing not only their tush (I’m mad I can tell what color drawers you got on. Or in more severe cases, that you are going commando), but also seeing people’s camel toes. Ladies ain’t ‘posed to be having their paw prints visible, unless they go by a name like CandyCane or Sapphyric Thunda.

Leggings are not the most friendly piece of cloth you can rock because they emphasize every imperfection, and could sometimes create new ones. I’ve seen more than my share of folks rocking leggings while their thighs are looking like the surface of the moon. Just uncouth. If folks are going to wear them, all I ask is that they rock a shirt that’s long enough to cover their tush and get that size UP so the po’ leggings don’t have stretch marks. I’m just saying…

The Queen of Uncouth

Bless our little impressionable hearts. Just because every Tom, Dick & Harriet is doing something does not mean it is meant for us. Let’s self-edit, folks.

So tell me. What trends do you find illogical?

Consider checking out one of my older blog posts, called “Fashion Grinds my Gears” and “Fashion Non-sense” for other trends that induce my side-eye 0_0

18 Comments

  1. South Loop Social Light
    June 5, 2009 at 6:29 am — Reply

    I agree with you re: Ed Hardy. I just don't find his clothes cute. I've almost been lured to the dark side by some of his flashy, bling ridden hats but couldn't bring myself to pay over $50 for a hat.

    Now, in terms of leggings as pants I'll probably continue to be guilty of this trend. I try my best to not advertise a camel toe and have my shirt be a little longer, but dammit… I think leggings AS PANTS is still kinda cute. Certain styles should be left to certain people. lol…

  2. Robin Monique
    June 5, 2009 at 7:31 am — Reply

    So look, I'm going to admit that I have done the Stanky Leg. Not like, "this is the hotness" more like "Me and my grown up friends are tipsy and want to be kids for like 5 min." Oh the shame!!!

    That out of the way, I DETEST trendy clothes. I give everything a year before I buy it. (Ask my friends, skinny jeans were out for a year and a half before I copped a pair.)

    Leggings as pants? These chicks need to be shot square in the camel toe for that offense. Ugh.

  3. genius khan
    June 5, 2009 at 8:06 am — Reply

    oh yeah you mean trends like blogging and social networks like twitter facebook myspace that you're never a part of huh? lol.

    sicker than your average genius,

    khan

  4. True2me
    June 5, 2009 at 10:39 am — Reply

    Im with Khan…add Twittering to your list..UGH..thats another blog post in and of itself

    And TATTOO TRENDS..why as soon as girl turns 17.5..she runs out and gets 6 tattoos on her body..WTF..where her mamma at…and thats a trend you CANT TAKE OFF AND THROW AWAY

    Im with you on the leggings..just cause you have a bubble booty dont mean you need to literally put your azz on sell..im sure guys will disagree

    and I am proud to own nothing ed hardy (except the perfume…its to DIE FOR ) …I tried on a pair of the sneakers and felt like I was walking with vomit on my feet…

    Soldier boy…haaah…swag on as my cousin says sounds like he's taking a constipated dump

    What about the "I have long silky hair weave" trend…

  5. Tha Management
    June 5, 2009 at 11:14 am — Reply

    Leggings as pants make me so angry! I'm glad someone else agrees that this is complete and utter f*ckery.

  6. South Loop Social Light
    June 5, 2009 at 11:31 am — Reply

    I feel like I still need to stick up for the "leggings as pants" trend. lol.. There's a right way and a wrong way to wear them and some folks get this confused. Camel Toe = Bad. But as long as your top is long enough then I think that this is a cute trend.

    @ "true2me" and their "I have long silky hair weave" trend comment I must say that I'm most happy to be rocking my semi-long, silky summer weave. There's nothing like not being responsible for doing the majority of your hair on a daily basis.

  7. ChiChi
    June 5, 2009 at 11:39 am — Reply

    My friend said the same thing about Bret's hair piece. It does really look like something's amiss atop his head.

    And iHate leggings with a passion! When did it become cool to rock them like freaking pants?! OMG…And Team Chunk Members: PLEASE satdown immediately trying to wear any leggings. Even with a shirt that covers your ass, them watery thighs aren't a good look, mmmkay. I twitted about one student worker downstairs yesterday wearing them ERRYDAY. I would advise anybody walking behind her don't look down at the back of her thighs unless you want to turn into a pillar of salt. SMH

  8. K to the...
    June 5, 2009 at 11:43 am — Reply

    I've been doing a variation of the Stanky Leg since I was in h.s. ACKING a fool at the sockhops. These fools just added some steps, and made it a song. I deserve some royalties dammit!!! *Hmph*

    I took my lil sis to see Chris Brown and Souljah Boy in concert. NEVER. AGAIN.

  9. amindinmotown
    June 5, 2009 at 12:01 pm — Reply

    Except for Asher Roth – I don't know why, but I do like him – I definitely agree. These trends are ridic, without a doubt. They're almost as bad as the Ugg boots with skirts. HATED that, especially when I went to college in PA. You are either hot or cold, not both.

  10. Cheekie
    June 5, 2009 at 12:41 pm — Reply

    "Asher Roth"
    Yeah I don't get it, either. I don't hate him, just indifferent. Kind of a "meh", if you will. I mean, he IS just talking over a beat. Just because he emphasizes his words with obtuse hand-gestures like some bootleg Cornel West doesn't make him any less a talker over a beat.

    "Ed Hardy Clothing"

    UGH. An Ed Hardy shirt is a cloth seizure. Too much going on. I HATE those clothes. Shut up, Ed Hardy.

    "Leggings as pants"

    The ladies on Go Fug Yourself go hard on Lindsay Lohan all the time for committing this crime. Everytime they post a pic of her, they're all, "No, sweetie. Wear PANTS".

    Need to add Uggs to the list. Because it is an accessory to the crime of 2520s wearing outfits that confuse the weather. Those mini-skirts with uggs. Is it winter or spring/summer? Also see, sweatshirts with shorts. Anyhow, I hate those floppy over-priced boots. And I'm sure they give folks corns…they're too flat and squishy.

  11. Lite Bread
    June 5, 2009 at 12:43 pm — Reply

    Yer High Awesomelyness,
    The Leggings as pants, camel toes reference, wow. Yep, know what yer saying. I do wonder at times when I see stuff like that just what is the girl trying to project anyway.
    But I’m befuddled by most things that are fashion anyway, lol.
    At least I avoided rockin’ a Mullet, drivin’ a Trans Am Firebird and blasting Gun’s & Roses, lol. You’re young enough you might have to Wikipedia that.
    I’m just sayin’ …
    Love it Luvvie!

  12. bogart4017
    June 5, 2009 at 2:32 pm — Reply

    Deat spot on!! Nothing to add.

  13. Lucky
    June 5, 2009 at 8:07 pm — Reply

    My Lord. you are so right they need a new word for "right" with this post. 2 things:
    a) why do athletes rock ed hardy like it's cool? i have seen many an arena football player and baseball player, [and many san diego sabres LOL] wear this with a fake mohawk and chain. STOP IT STOP IT I SAY.

    2) re: leggings as pants. i have been screaming this for the longest and people refuse to heed my word. so glad i have a co-signer!

    Love the blog, longtime lurker :-]

  14. Chantal
    June 7, 2009 at 9:18 am — Reply

    And here I thought I was alone in the whole Soulja Boy thing. I didn't get it. I STILL don't get it.

    Nad yeah, leggings as pants are bad.

  15. sabrina
    June 7, 2009 at 9:19 pm — Reply

    I don't get lace fronts….nobody's hairline is ROUND! And if you have to put baby hair on your forehead and your name ain't Chilli, this is not natural! I call wigfoul! Get a Celebrity Status quickweave or call Geisha and make your own!

    BTW…*dead* @ "This is a trend that I wish would die a violent death and go to the pits of bedazzled and emblazoned Dereon Hades."

  16. President Anthony Taurus
    June 11, 2009 at 1:14 am — Reply

    It's like you just jumped in my head and pulled out my exact thought per topic LOL. good shit

  17. lilbit o'luck
    January 26, 2011 at 6:19 pm — Reply

    As far as the Stanky leg-We are all guilty of doing “the dance of the day” (ie- the wop, the Pee Wee Herman, the Alf…. i can go on)

    Souldja Boy-2010 Flavor FLav. He tripped on the cord keeping hip hop alive because he couldnt see it( You see them shades-lol!)
    Luckily(or unluckily) my ass and stomach was to big to participate in this reindeer game.

    • lilbit o'luck
      January 26, 2011 at 6:21 pm — Reply

      *last sentence was about the leggings.

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