Clinton’s a Sigma, Jesus is an Alpha (and Omega)
Disclaimer: I am not, or have I ever been affiliated with a Greek-organization (unless IG Phi IG is one. But our charter wasn’t approved. We even had colors picked out and everything! We repped Houndstooth. *shakes fists*). I am not a hater of fraternities & sororities, nor have I ever tried to pledge one and got declined (in fact, one of my best friends is Greek. *cackles*), so I’m not bitter either. I’m just a snarky blogger who is an equal opportunity roaster. Let tongue meet cheek. If this ruffles feathers, my bad. I don’t want no protesting stroll-offs happening on my blog. I’ont want to have to break any lines on my eCrib & get eJumped by nobody. I come in peace.
With that being said, I will proceed. Folks take their Black Greek affiliations se’ous! Folks rock their letters before rocking that Family Reunion shirt (yes I know it’s flimsy and lime green and has that stubborn ketchup stain on it. But you get my point). If stuck between fighting for their blood brother and their frat brother, a couple of people would pause for a minute to think about it. By the time they make their decisions, one of their brothers has disowned them and said “that’s that bullsh*t”. I’m just saying. THIS lets you know how big of a deal Greek-hood can be to some.
This is why I was taken aback (albeit while laughing uncontrollably) when I found out that William Jefferson Clinton has been inducted as an honorary member of the historically Black fraternity, Phi Beta Sigma.
At first, I thought it was another internet hoax (like the sighting of Whoopi Goldberg’s eyebrows) but alas, it was true. Especially when I saw one of my friend’s status messages welcoming Clinton to the brotherhood. o_O
I didn’t even know the Sigmas dug Bill like that (not that I sneak into their annual meeting or nothing). I know Black folks love them some Bill but wow! He’s repping that Blue & White now. I’d DIE if I heard Bill Clinton say “GOMAB” (what Sigmas say) with his country accent. It’d come out as “GAW-MAHB”. Does he have enough rhythm to step? Could he stroll and keep up? I know he can do the sign thought because it’s the same as the “Rock Out” sign. THESE are the important questions.
I know some non-Black Greeks in BGLOs (Black Greek Letter Organizations) so the randomness with Bill ain’t because he can get sun-burned easier. It was just… RANDOM. But at least Bill was alive when they made him a Sigma.
I was on GChat with Sean of TheFreshXpress (and a member of Alpha Phi Alpha) and the convo that ensued almost killt me dead.
Luvvie: soo the sigmas inducted bill clinton
Sean: lol yea. you obviously dont know who else they got too…
Luvvie: who else?
Sean: The good Rev…
Luvvie: stop! LMAO
Luvvie: The alphas gon try to pledge Jesus
Sean: Nah…just Barack, lol
Luvvie: lmao! true
Sean: Jesus is already an Alpha
Luvvie: OMG i just died a lil lmao
Luvvie: frederick douglass looks like an iota
Sean: Man…on some real…lol… that’s my bruh. I kid younot, lmao
Luvvie: lmao!!! he’s an alpha?
Sean: lmao yea….dont ask me how. posthumously obviously, lol. im sure he died in like 1888
Luvvie: and GTFOH lmao, im cackling in my office
Sean: He had no choice but to accept, lol
Luvvie: i. am. dead. along w/ frederick
Sean: We gon do that with Barack, lol. Wait til he dies then call him an Alpha, lmao
At this point, I was *dead and gone like some Honorary Greeks*. How are y’all just gonna claim a dead celebrity as your bruh or sis?
Then the kicker:
Sean: Stevie Wonder – Sigma
Luvvie: Stevie Wonder is a Sigma??? iCan’t
Sean: I think he’s on Al’s line, lmao. Not positive though. I just read that he’s honorary as well.
Sean: We have Lionel Richie. He ain’t no Stevie, but he can hold a tune and has better hair.
Luvvie: well can a Sigma bro cut Stevie’s hair so his hairline can rest in peace?
Sidenote: I wonder if Lionel Richie can dedicate “Hello, is it my you’re looking for” to Stevie Wonder’s truant hairline. Just wondering…
Anywho, So Bill Clinton, Stevie Wonder & Al Sharpton are line brothers. Oh the jokes write themselves. Rule no evil, See no evil, Perm no evil.
With that being said, let’s have a Greek draft. Which historical figure (dead or alive) would you pick to be a part of your GREEK organization? (and Jesus is not a participant in this draft. It’s obvious that Jesus is a member of 2 organizations already. He was an Alpha and an Omega. The Que in him turned water to wine. Plus them gold sandals He rocked ain’t hurt either.)
I could see the Kappas talmbout “Umm… lemme get Muhammad Ali for his cane action. He never drops it. And he was a pretty boy back in his day.” AKAs gon be like “Let’s get Michelle Obama. Her pearls game is on point!”
Anyway, HAVE AT IT, folks! Which historical figure (dead or alive) would you pick to be a part of your GREEK organization?
Edit 2: I wonder who’d claim the following people: Beyonce, Michael Jackson, Madame CJ Walker, George Washington Carver, Luther Vandross… Make ur picks, people.
Edit 3: This entry is today’s featured post on TheFreshXpress and currently has 89 comments (all of which have pretty much killt me dead because they’re so hilarious). Sean even said Lil Luffa would be a Kappa and Big Luffa would be a Sigma. *dead again*