Fashion Climax

Stumbled upon this gem on a website called Rad Dudes, and I had to post it here. It’s made my morning.

This dude is rocking a bellbottom onesie and FEELING himself. I will admit though, he is giving me LIFE! All that fierce is oozing from the pic. He is having a staring contest with the camera. Plus, he is CLEARLY OWNING that pole. Y’all can’t tell him NOTHING! He is just thinking “Yes, I know you see me. I’m sexy aint I? You don’t even have to say it. You SEE me.”

As if that wasn’t the best. Then I read the caption and pretty much fell out my chair in HYSTERICS! The old, present, and future me is dead and GONE!

Just in case you can’t read what the caption on the picture says: “Because one is enough. when its you. Show where you’re headed in the ultimate fashion climax. Fits so tight it shows all you’ve got… you’re a walking turn-on. And treats your body as well as she does. Easy on. easy off. quick as a flick of her tongue. sexy cool crinkle cloth for those hot nights to come. Designed with your desires in mind… she’ll eat you alive in it. The Big Zip is 50% polyester / 50% cotton. Long-sleeved in rust, blue, or black. Short-sleeved in natural, blue or camel. Are you man enough to fill it?”

iCant. That sounds like the caption I would have written for this thing. Except they were actually SERIOUS! I mean. I’m kinda upset they beat me to the punch. Let’s do point by point of the foolishness.

“Ultimate Fashion Climax” – So pretty much, when you see this overgrown man in his denim onesie, you may just need to change your undies because you came TWICE. And it comes with a tape that plays “BOM CHICKA WAH WAH” over and over again.
THAT is how awesome this outfit is. And I’m PRETTY sure I’m going to refer to myself as a “walking turn-on” AT LEAST 5 times today. Just because. And if you don’t agree, you’re just a hater.

“Sexy Cool Crinkle Cloth” – Why am I thinking about taffeta at this description? Next time someone asks me what I’m rocking, I’mo tell them some “sexy COOOL crinkle fabric” and then rub the fabric. Shonuff

“Long-sleeved in rust” – HUH? You mean to tell me where’s a shiny version of this? I imagine whoever puts that on would look like a human penny. This visual is fantastic and by fantastic, I mean, scary and hilarious. I’d PAY to see this. GOOD money too.

And umm… the fact that it comes in short-sleeve? iCan’t.

“Are you man enough to fill it?” – Well, apparently he is man enough to slick himself down and fit into that onesie. But really though. Why hasnt Will Ferrell played a character that rocks this kinda onesie before? Wait… he has. Ricky Bobby!!! Well, we know this guy wakes up and pisses excellence.

There’s so much more foolishness in this whole thing, including all them pockets on the jumpsuit. He is ALSO a walking murse (man-purse). I bet he got a moustache comb in one of them pockets. But I will say this. It made my day. And yes, my day is early, but I doubt that there could be something that could top this. *Sigh* the 70s wasn’t sh*t. They were tackier than Mama Tina in a glue gun & sequins factory. I’da loved to be alive during that time. I’d roast my own self to pieces.

Hmm… I think I may buy my eBoo, Lite Bread this jumpsuit. He’d look good in the Rust one. Of course, he won’t be claimed while rocking it. But you know, I’m nice like that. So fellas, When are you buying your own segzy crinkle onesie?

Related posts:

1. Luvvie’s Rules of Fashion
2. Fashion Grinds my Gears…
3. Fashion NOn-sense: Trends I Hate!

Tags: Fashion

Category: Random