I’ve been reading since I was 3. My mom told me that I used to read newspapers for fun *nerd-dom alert*. I was the kid that enjoyed reading more than playing outside (hence one of the reasons I can’t ride a bike. Sharrap. Don’t judge me).
I enjoy reading but I don’t do it as much as I’d like to anymore because I’m busier than a hooker on $2 Tuesdays. But I LOVE a good book. I even consider myself somewhat of a book snob. I have a long list of favorites, which include but isn’t limited to: “Sula” by Toni Morrison, “The Broke Diaries” by Angela Nissel, “The Darkest Child” by Delores Phillips, “Kaffir Boy” by Mark Mathabane. I’m also a huge fan of John Grisham books (I’ve read ALL 50-eleven of his books) and of COURSE I stan for J.K. Rowling and Harry Potter! These books are my favorites because even years after reading them, I can feel their impact.
Sidebar: Toni Morrison is a literary icon and rightfully so. She’s written some of the most impactful books in the 20th century about the Black experience. Although “Sula” is one of my favorite books, Toni Morrison is not one of my favorite authors. The rest of her books either underwhelm me, perplex me or just plain ol’ bore me (yeah I said it). Sometimes, reading her books makes my head itch. I like “The Bluest Eye” and admit that Toni does have a way with words. However, sometimes, she loses me on that way, and I forget my compass. I’m just saying… (I’m pretty sure I just committed Black Woman Blasphemy & Sacrilege. Please be gentle)
Anywho, on my list of favorite books (or books I’ll skim in Borders), one will not see a book written by Omar Tyree or Eric Jerome Dickey. I am sorry but “Urban Literature” is a genre I frown at. Any book that can be made into a BET Blackbuster is an automatic FAIL in my (slanted) eyes! My disdain for it came when I joined Black Expressions Book Club to win some random prize. In trying to order books I discovered that every other book they offered was a “hood tale” with an over-the-top title and cover. Or each book had some kind of sassy character in the front with her hand on her hips. Yes, LisaRaye might as well have been on every cover. WAY to encapsulate the Black experience, Black Expressions. 1-dimensional fools.
This is where many folks will ask “You didn’t even like ‘Coldest Winter Ever’?” I answer with a scowl, a growl and a snarl. I know that “Coldest winter Ever” by Sister Souljah is a beloved book for Black folks, and I am here to say it is the most overrated piece of “literature” since Supahead’s 15th expose about her trite ways. I don’t hate it the book, because I do think it is an interesting hood tale. However, besides that fact that the writing is so elementary, it also doesn’t help that Souljah proceeds to spend half the book kissing her own *SS. What author makes themselves a character in their book and spend 5 chapters saying how awesome that character is? WOMP!
But I will admit that my contempt for Souljah is partly because I’ve seen her speak live and her views of live and love are skewed. Plus, Sister Souljah is a grown woman who still walks around in pigtails. WTF? Looking like an elderly 3rd grader. iCan’t. Pleasego saddown Souljah, and find ONE ponytail holder.
Then there’s Zane. Zane’s “erotica” books are so wack that they make Souljah look like Shakespearean prose. Zane is for the same folks who find soft porn on cinemax arousing. With books like “Dear G-Spot” and “Gettin’ Buck Wild”, Zane and her “urban erotica” trip me out. Super o_O.
I will say this though. If you list your favorite books as “Sisters of Alpha Phi Fuck’em”, “Coldest Winter Ever” & “The Bible” (in same sentence), please give yourself a papercut. You are out of order for even mentioning “The Good Book” in the same breath as those wack ones.
I’m ain’t judging folks who read Zane. I’m just saying to ME she’s wack. I’m not sure if Zane is an author or a fool with a pen. She needs a “Fool Saddown” Gift basket with a “Creative Writing 101″ class voucher. Zane is to writing what Rihanna is to acapella singing. She is to literature what LisaRaye is to acting. o_O And no I’m not hating on her hustle.
Hell, if I could make a living creating badly-written novels, I would. Instead, iBlog :-/ Wait… maybe I’m on to something there. Hmm…
I DO have an idea for a book. I shall unveil it on Friday. It will take the literary world by STORM! THAT is how awesome it is. *Nods vigorously*
Category: My Life