See, FREE Rules Everything Around Me (F.R.E.A.M.), and apparently everyone else too. This is an exchange that happened on Facebook, under the note version of my Laptop Giveaway post, between Savvy & Shida (who both sent in their responses via email). They made me cackle HARD at work.
Savvy F. Baybeh: “I entered. **does the Running Fatty**”
Shida Bee: C’mon I BETTA win! I even made interesting commentary!!!!
Savvy F. Baybeh: SO DID I SHIDA! Me or Shida (but preferably ME!) FTW!
Savvy F. Baybeh: I was raised in a single parent household and had little to no contact with my father. I think it’s time that life handed me laptops instead of lemons.
Shida Bee: Well I broke my hips and was almost paralyzed, my mom and dad split for seven years, my bro died at 21, I haven’t had a job for 3 months and am temporarily broke and to top it all off- right now i have a stye in my eye that has gotten so infected I’m channeling Martin in that one boxing episode. I NEEEEEEEDS this in my life! At least you have lemons. You won’t go hungry ;o) I ain’t even got those
Savvy F. Baybeh: The lemons that I have are plastic; dusty family heirlooms I inherited from my last living relative; May God Rest Her Soul. So I’m out in the world alone…Just me and my athlete’s foot. The doctor cases less severe than mine can lead to amputation. So I’m cherishing every day I have left with these ashy appendages that are affixed to my ankles. The world is already so cold and lonely. And now I have to learn how to skateboard like Eddie Murphy on “Trading Places.” A laptop would really brighten my darkened, almost-amputeed spirit.
Shida Bee: OKay check it out- you win for worst sob story (even though mine was actually true; like for real IRL) so let me win the laptop. You can’t be hogging the wins. That wouldn’t be very sisterly of you! Hey Eefsters- we’ve worked it out. She wins the HardKnockLife award and I get the computer. Cool? Okthanxluvyabybye
Shida Bee: Ps what if yo foots herpes spreads to your other limbs. What you gonna do with no hands and a laptop??? I would expect that you wouldn’t even want to risk being that selfish when I’ve got two perfectly good working hands not in risk of being chopped off…you seem like a bigger and better person than that Ms. Baybeh
Savvy F. Baybeh: I’m not. I ain’t sh!t…however, I’m looking to turn things around with the convenient technology of a laptop. Life…HERE I COME.
They are both DUMB AS HELL! If only I could pick the one with the saddest (read: foolish) story. But… ALAS.