Dear Joe Wilson

[ 18 ] September 10, 2009 |

Last night was the President Obama’s healthcare speech, and I missed it because I was being shallow and watching ANTM. Don’t judge me preoccupied with other things. But before I knew it, Twitter went nuts because someone burst out randomly “You lie” at the POTUS during his speech. come to find out, it was Joe Wilson, South Carolina congressman. Well, I watched watched the speech afterwards *BIG UPS TO DVR* and yeah, it was pretty outta pocket for the outburst.

There HAD to be a sternly-worded letter to Joe Wilson for his momentary tourettes. And since I was being lazy working on other things, I decided to get a guest blogger to write the letter for me. I asked my newest blog find, Michelle Huxtable to grace AweLuv with some words. Why? Because’s she awesome. And methinks her letter rocks. Enjoy. And check out her blog. – Luvvie

Dear Congressman Joe Wilson,

You want to yell, “You Lie!” at President Barack Obama? Is that what we’re doing nowadays? That’s what’s really good? Errors in syntax and grammar aside, what were you thinking? If you’re going to yell out random things at a Presidential Address, you might want to say something relevant.

Mention that the Blueprint 3 came out. Discuss the T-Pain/Fabolous/Jay-Z beef. Talk about Ellen Degeneres taking Paula Abdul’s spot on American Idol. Anything would have been more substantial than “You lie!” What does that even mean? President Barry was talking about illegal immigrants not getting health care and you choose that moment to yell “You Lie”? Where were you when Bush was talking about WMDs? Or when Al Gore claimed he made the Internet? Or when Tila Tequila said Shawne Merriman choked her?

Joe Blow, you turned Congress into a street corner in the hood. Your “You lie!” was the equivalent to “Yo mama!” and the Democrat “Boo!” response was equal to the *fist to the mouth* “Ooooohh dang yo! He talkin’ about yo moms!!”

Check out this Side-Eye Triptych.
Nancy Pelosi’s looking like “Who you calling a ha-b*tch?” She’s bout 5 seconds from clutching her pearls.
Grandpa Joe Biden: “See? Why you gotta come at my prez like that?”
Prez O: “Fool, do you know who I am??? Does Barack have to slap a bitch?”
(Captions by Luvvie. I’m sho Michelle Hux talmbout “You betta clarify that ig)

This is not British Parliament. We don’t say “here, here” and yell random things. You may look a little like Tony Blair but you, sir, are not. Assistant Manager of McDowell’s Joe, I’m not only going to need you to issue a public apology. I’m going to have to ask you to wear #chrisbrownsbowtie. You deserve to be mocked for your statement and for your choice of clothing.

Joe, you’ve not only ruined your political career, you have stopped millions of people from being effective. By being the number one trending topic on Twitter, do you honestly think people are getting homework done? Preparing for work the next day? Making their children’s lunches? No. Children will go unfed. Notes will go unstudied. And spreadsheets will go un-collated. I hope you’re proud.


Assistant to the Junior Manager of my local gas station Joe, you have taught me to trust my instincts in not trusting Joes. Besides Joe Jonas and Joe Biden, I don’t trust y’all. I didn’t trust Joe Jackson, Joseph McCarthy, or Joseph Stalin and I refuse to trust you.

But all kidding aside, I thank you JoJo. With less than 50 Black members of Congress out of 535, I thank you for opening a seat to allow a young inner-city youth to take your place. It was a selfless act.

Deuces,

Michelle Huxtable

******************


Michelle Huxtable is a little Michelle Obama, and a little Claire Huxtable. She blogs about everything from race and politics to music, TV, and other entertainment. A fresh perspective on everyday topics. You can visit her at www.Michelle-Huxtable.com

Luvvie’s Addendum: I’d also like to award Joe Wilson a top-of-the-line “FOOL SADDOWN RAHT NAH” gift basket. I’mo even throw in a free “SHUT YO ASS UP” floral arrangement.

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Comments (18)

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  1. @localgreencircl says:

    good stuff. keep it up!

  2. Mz.. Joy says:

    Hella Funny! 4 Snaps and a RNS Fist Pump of Approval

  3. Uche says:

    ok, so i'm in italy, and it's tough to keep up with news in the U.S…thanks for this, lol! i love how all three of them were giving him some MAJOR side-eye. you see the prez face?!? it's awesome. nancy pelosi looks like she was about to say 'oh HELL NAW!' and joe biden just looks so disappointed. LMAO!

  4. Blackberry Molasses says:

    Grandpa Joe is GIVING SUCH LIFE with his side eye. Nancy looks like she's about to go from shock to anger to grabbing her balisong knife and going at Wilson's neck right quick. The Prez is on some "Not THIS muthaf**** AGAIN. Fool, shaddap."

    I actually tweeted Joe Wilson the following
    @CongJoeWilson respectfully sir, your outburst this evening was completely and utterly uncalled for. i believe an apology is in order.

    What I really wanted to say was: "YOU DUMBARSE! You have succeeded in cementing what so many knew all along. Your party is chock full of nutjobs, homophobes, race baiters and fearmongers. CONGRATULATIONS! "

    Good stuff Ms. Huxtable. Hope to see more of you 'round these parts.

  5. Tan2 says:

    Nothing to add to the letter, but I was shallow and watched America's Next Top Model. I knew the speech would be everywhere this morning, but would have to wait until Friday to watch ANTM. NEVER!

  6. K to the... says:

    Joe Blow, you turned Congress into a street corner in the hood. Your “You lie!” was the equivalent to “Yo mama!” and the Democrat “Boo!” response was equal to the *fist to the mouth* “Ooooohh dang yo! He talkin’ about yo moms!!”

    I died about 8 deaths here at work reading this paragraph. The *fist to the mouth*…classic grammar school shenanigans!

  7. Tea says:

    LOL @ Assistant Mgr @ McDowell Joe! Good to make light of this very unfortunate situation. Joe Wilson apologized immediately, but that's not enough. What grown man can't control his emotions? That was both intentional and premeditated and if he says it wasn't HE LIE. (How's that for a grammar and syntax failure).

  8. Tunde says:

    Stalin though? lol

  9. Michelle Huxtable says:

    Thanks very much!

  10. Michelle Huxtable says:

    4 snaps huh? lol AND a fist pump of approval? I'm in there!

  11. Michelle Huxtable says:

    haha I think they all watched Luvvie's video and did a mental *wallslide*

  12. Michelle Huxtable says:

    Thank you very much! I hope to stay round these parts! I agree that an apology is definitely in order. I heard he called the white house soon after and apologized but I wasn't there so I don't know.

  13. Michelle Huxtable says:

    I planned to catch it on hulu later but I got sucked in.

  14. Michelle Huxtable says:

    haha I have to admit, that might be my favorite part of my own letter lol

  15. Michelle Huxtable says:

    haha I think "you lie" and "he lie" or whatever is going to catch on. And I'm happy about it!

  16. Michelle Huxtable says:

    I mean, do you trust Stalin? lol no! You can't trust Joes!

  17. Stephanie Milton says:

    I trust Joe Montana. I do. I'm a Niner for life, I can't help it. But, yeah, other Joes, not so much trustiness going on.

    Mm hmm, I said "trustiness," you enjoy that, that one's on me.;)

  18. Kindred Smile says:

    I love all of this. Very well written, Michelle – you've got a new subscriber in me

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