Dear Morehouse, You get a side-eye
You’ve probably heard the new dress code that Morehouse College, an all-male HBCU (Historically Black College/University), has given its students. They’ve released 11 stipulations that students must follow, or risk being suspended from school. They are more than deserving of this week’s sternly-worded letter.
You know you’re kind of full of sh*t, right? When I first saw the new dress code you released for your students, I surely thought it was some kind of random joke or satirical piece. Surely, a place of higher learning did not just make an extensive list of things that are unacceptable to rock on a campus. Is the school so on point that the most pressing matter is its students’ way of dress? Yeah, NAW I don’t think so. Word on the street is that your enrollment rate is down, as well as your retention and graduation rates. I doubt that this will be helping either. I guess that in whatever struggles you may be having, the most important thing is that the men on your campus maintain their segzy and moisturize their situations in the most conservative way possible.
So here’s the thing though. You might as well have kept that long extensive list to yourself and did this instead:
*Clears throat* *taps mic*
“No gays or thugs allowed. Thank you. Management.”
The list you made is very specific in what it is not going to tolerate, and it is clear that one of those is the way a lot of gay men will choose to dress.
“No wearing of clothing associated with women’s garb (dresses, tops, tunics, purses, pumps, etc.) on the Morehouse campus or at College-sponsored events.”
Even if I didn’t heart the gays as much as I do, I’d find something wrong with this. The man who came to Morehouse looking fierce in his tunics now has to go get a new wardrobe, otherwise he won’t be allowed in class. THEM is some bald-headed games right there. Imagine someone forcing B. Scott into some sensible tasseled loafers and double-breasted blazer. That would be the day fierceness ended. Morehouse, why won’t you let the gays be great??? *WALL SLIDE*
Shoot, some metrosexuals who like to carry murses (man purses) will be outta luck too. Bet a bunch of folks had to go out to buy a sensible samsonite case for their books now. See, Morehouse? RUDE.
Also on the list is the banning of sagging pants and grills. Given, I give the urban youths disapproving glances and side-eyes because the do dress foolishly. That isn’t the point though. It’s the principalities (yes, principalities) that matter. I hate sagging pants with the intensity of 1,000 Dereon jumpsuits but sheesh! To be mandated to rock your pants high is a bit extreme in my book. And grills are obnoxious as all to be, but they are some folks’ way of self-expression. I also usually O__o when I see them. But still…
But most importantly, the rule of no pajamas is what I oppose the most. Y’all are just straight tweaking with that. Half the fun of college is being able to rock pajamas to class because you woke up 15 minutes into your exam and all you had time to do was brush your teeth (or so I’ve heard O__O). College wouldn’t be college if you couldn’t be on the Quad in some plaid pants with a hoodie and houseshoes AT LEAST once. Come on, Morehouse!!! *kicks trash can* The Big Ten University that I went to even had school-branded PJs. They enabled our comfort. You some haters, Morehouse.
I’m also against the “no caps” rule. For someone like me, who rocks a hat 70% of the time, I’d be picketing, talmbout “No justice, no peace.”
Morehouse, I understand that you’re a private school and can, by right, govern your students with an iron fist. However, that doesn’t mean that you exercising this right in such a manner is best. I wish I WOULD pay over $30,000 a year to be at a place that forces me into some ridiculous constrains. I was raised for 18 years by my mama. What do I look like PAYING someone to do it for 4 more years? Methinks NOT.
Yes, I get it. You want the image of your students to be upstanding and professional, but in the grand scheme of things, what’s the point? Aren’t you supposed to prepare these folks for the real world? Forcing them into these strict dresscodes that they won’t do naturally is hardly the way to do it. Clothes don’t make the man, especially not when he is being forced into them.
If you REALLY want to get your image up, get a Top 10 nationally-ranked program, instead of being stuck on upholding some Morehouse legacy that few but yourself gibbadamb about. Get to the point where people see a “Morehouse resume” and pull it out the bunch as an elite. You’re worrying about the wrong things.
Take a bite from that apple that came in the “Fool Saddown” gift basket I sent you. And air yourself out with the “Anti-pompous” Deodorant I included too. It’s mighty stuffy around you.
Yours in side-eyedom o__O,
I gots an announcement to make on Monday about something I’m starting. Y’all come back now, ya hear?