My LifeRandom

Old Man Flirt

A couple of weeks ago, I was exhibiting at a conference in Boofooville, USA, where I am one of few melanin-blessed people. I’s minding my own bitness, sitting down behind my table on my MacBook when I hear:

*clears throat*

I look up to see this older Black man staring at me. This is what ensued:

Me: Oh hello.Him: Hi. What does your organization do?Me: We’re a nonprofit that blah blah blah 
Him: *staring a bit too hard at me* *kneels down on the floor so he’s eye level with me* 
Me: *shifts a little in chair* We’re based in Chicago but do regional work 
Him: *looking at me even harder* I’m from Chicago too! How about that? 
Me: umm… cool. *shifts in chair* 
Him: You are beautiful! 
Me: Umm… sure thanks O__O 
Him: What’s is your name? You are just… beautiful? 
Me: Luv 
Him: Oh wow! Well, I’m glad I met you. You are beautiful *stares into my soulspace*
Me: *looks around nervously* *nervous chuckle* 
Him: Yes…! *walks away slowly with sly smile*

He finally walks away and I wanna fall off my chair into a tub of bleach and Ajax. UNCLEAN!!!

Like the time the old man saw me on the bus stop one morning and said “GURL! “If I had my social security check on me, I’d offer to take you to dinner this afternoon.” O_o F my life.

Edit: I’m pretty sure I’m gonna get a message from my sister talmbout “Where’s the rest of the post?” I don spoiled folks with my tomes. Now when I wanna just write and quickly *drop mic* folks giving me the O__O. Don’t judge me cuz I wanted to be lazy last night and not write an ENTIRE post. LOL

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  1. @Aabaakawad
    November 4, 2009 at 12:28 pm — Reply

    You just make men lose their mind! 😉

  2. and1grad
    November 4, 2009 at 2:03 pm — Reply

    Even tho I dont meet the age requirement, I almost feel a need to use that social security check line. That is GOLD (sorta). Might also substitute "druthers" altho I have no idea what those are. I digress.

  3. Tunde
    November 4, 2009 at 2:51 pm — Reply

    don't fake you know you were flattered. lol at least he wasn't disrespectful. (always looking for the silver lining).

  4. miss t-lee
    November 4, 2009 at 3:09 pm — Reply

    BOOOOOO!!! I read this already on VSB.
    Still luv ya like a step-child.

  5. Mr. Smart Guy
    November 4, 2009 at 4:00 pm — Reply

    At least he didn't offer to sop you up like a biscuit…

  6. @Roxy_V
    November 4, 2009 at 4:21 pm — Reply

    When this happens, I tell them I don't mess with men older than my (insert male relative here).

    They get mad but they learn to stop being inappropriate!

  7. Cheekie
    November 4, 2009 at 4:52 pm — Reply

    "Him: What's is your name? You are just… beautiful?"

    Why was it posed as a question? lol!! Or is that a typo. I find that hilarious for some reason.

    Yeah, the old men flirts are somethin' else. I got a Street Wise old man flirting with me everytime I pass him. One time I was trying to catch a light that lasts literally 2 secons for pedestrians and when he saw me zoom by he screamed, "Now I know you ain't gonna just sneak by me with all that BOOTAY!". I mean, I had my booty-lovin jeans on and yes it looked kinda fly, but….o_O. I mean, how you supposed to respect yo elders in times like that?! lmao

  8. Cheekie
    November 4, 2009 at 4:53 pm — Reply

    I was gon' say somethin' too, but I forgot where I read it until now. lol Thanks, t-lee girl!

  9. amymay117
    November 4, 2009 at 5:55 pm — Reply

    you gone have Litey out there on some ol' jealous boolshiggity! He'll be on the next flight to Boofooville to defend ya honor!!

  10. Lite Bread
    November 4, 2009 at 7:59 pm — Reply

    What you just said trumped anything I had going on in my head!!!!

    Well, she IS beautiful, ya know.

    But I will kick "Aakaakawd" ass.

  11. Luvvie
    November 4, 2009 at 8:04 pm — Reply

    The wrong ones though! If u got shoes that are older than me, don't be coming at me all sly. EEK!

  12. Luvvie
    November 4, 2009 at 8:05 pm — Reply

    LOL! The social security check like will get you side-eyed and throat punched (c) Miss T-Lee. Don't do it. It ain't worf it!

  13. Luvvie
    November 4, 2009 at 8:05 pm — Reply

    LOL u're too kind, Tunde.

  14. Luvvie
    November 4, 2009 at 8:05 pm — Reply

    Dang! U jus gon call me all aht like that? RUDE! lol

  15. Luvvie
    November 4, 2009 at 8:07 pm — Reply

    HA! I'mo have to do the same next time, because I'm sure there will be one (with my luck). thnx!

  16. Luvvie
    November 4, 2009 at 8:11 pm — Reply

    Not the StreetWise man!!! AW NAW!

    And *dead* at "Now I know you ain't gonna just sneak by me with all that BOOTAY!"

    Bury me a Diva (unHustled)

  17. Luvvie
    November 4, 2009 at 8:12 pm — Reply

    LMAO!!! He just may

  18. Luvvie
    November 4, 2009 at 8:12 pm — Reply

    BWAHAHAHAHA!! Behave urself, Litey!

  19. Luvvie
    November 4, 2009 at 8:24 pm — Reply

    EEEWWWW!! The Baba Taiwo visual just messed me up. Thanks for that grossness!

    And I also ask for repentance if he has passed. *washes hands w/ holy water*

  20. Kofo
    November 4, 2009 at 8:06 pm — Reply

    Wow, Luvvie……dont really what to say there, U should have given "Baba Taiwo" a chance, u know he has been eyeing u since u were like 7…..i know u are cracking up where u are………..Lord forgive me if "Baba Taiwo" has kicked the bucket(died)……….(*insert sign of the cross*)

  21. amymay117
    November 5, 2009 at 11:10 am — Reply

    see…. I know my peoples….

  22. Mista Jaycee
    November 5, 2009 at 7:59 pm — Reply

    Ewwww! LOL! Well, you handled it and hydrogen peroxide is better to get clean with. (wink)

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