FashionMy Life

iDont wear makeup enough

Kindred: Tryna step my accessory game up since I’mo be rocking a TWA (teeny weeny afro) soon
Me: Earrings is the game that matters the most with a TWA
Kindred: oh yes I know. Earrings and eyeshadow
Me: Eff eyeshadow
Kindred: I don’t want anyone to be like “Oh sir, what a nice pendant that is”
Me: I rock TWA w/ no shadow. If people get used to you in makeup, they see you without it and go “DAYUM! You’re 2 different people.” Nawl man
Kindred: Exactly! I don’t wanna be the patron saint of high expectations. That’s why I stopped wearing makeup after my first 30 days here
Me: Shidd! I wish folks would start expecting me to be G’ed up. That’s why I put in no effort. Eye bags and all.
Kindred: Lol. People see your cheekbones and great skin first. Then your triflingness last.
Me: Yessss. Me with makeup on??? Too many hoes slayed. Too many!
Kindred: lol you lazy for the good of the country
Me: I’m a humanitarian, if u will. A ho-manitarian

Firstly, I’m stoopid.

But seriously, folks. I don’t wear makeup more than a couple of times a month, when I step out somewhere real important (like a rice buffet. Or my bi-weekly crepe date with myself. You know. The important places). For realsies. My makeup game is on slim. I got tons of eyeshadow but that’s about it. In fact, the mascara I have is probably from college. I don’t use it. It’s just there to remind me of what I’m lacking. O__o I used it last week sometime ago and my eyes watered for AT LEAST an hour after they dried on my lashes. Lesson learned: Don’t use mascara that’s 4 years old.

I’m the kind whose beauty regimen consists ENTIRELY of shower and lotion. I’m so low maintenance that the same soap I use for my body is the same I use for my face. Is that horrible? *hears chorus of “yesses* DON’T JUDGE ME!!! I was born with skin that doesn’t gibbadamb what I put on it so… Blame it/give thanks to my family. In fact, I’m afraid that the day I decide to get a face regimen, my skin would break out. This backwards reasoning was brought to you by “Faulty Logic Inc.”

But I do think I take my good skin and unhideous face for granted. Doesn’t matter how tired I am. Y’all know I barely sleep since I’m President of the “Doing Too Much Enterprises.” I wake up on most days with what I’m sure is dark circles under my eyes. I walk outside way often looking like a raccoon. Concealer? Powder? What’s that? I’d rather hit that snooze button two more times as a tradeoff to looking busted. No lie. I be walking outside on some days looking like Zombie the Flesh Eater when i could easily throw on some magical concealer. But I just don’t seem to be caring. However, this caught up to me the other day.

So the past coupla days, I’ve been on a mini media tour for The Red Pump Project. We’ve appeared all over the place (in Chicago, at least). We were asked to appear on NBC Chicago’s morning show. Well, the morning of, I realize that “Duh! I’m appearing on TV. I need makeup!” I go in my makeup bag and ALL I got is eyeshadow. It was 5:30am. I had 2 hours of sleep. THAT was a time when I needed a full face of paint.

Not ONE container of powder. Not a bit of foundation. I didn’t even have a cucumber to put on my eyes. All I had was eyeshadow. F My Life. This is a FAIL if I ever saw it.

I put on my eyeshadow and asked Karyn “Does my makeup look okay?” She’s so kind. She told me “yes.” Mmhmmm. She was looking like a Queen and here I go next to her, looking greasy I’m sure. LAWD… I may have learned my lesson.

Maybe.

So yesterday, I BBMed my girl B of Clumps of Mascara. This ensued:


Me: I’m at Walgreens drugstore and wanna buy powder and mascara. What should I get?
B: *rattles off list of possibles*
Me: I went on TV with no powder or foundation on! Shame.
B: I don’t wear foundation so if I ever have to do TV, I’m screwed. You fine, sis. You don’t need all that make up stuffs.
Me: I ain’t even got powder!!! I was like “Lawd… don’t let me look busted.”
B: Okay we all need a lil shadow.
Me: I got hella shadow. I wore some yesterday but that was about it.
B. People think I wear makeup everyday. Chile please… blush, mascara, liner, lips. DONE!
Me: I have to start doing something to my plain face sometimes
B: With those cheekbones, all you need is a little blush and you’re good.
Me: Afrobella gave me mac blush last week. I’m a dork. My sis used to work at a makeup counter at Neiman Marcus. I think she even gave me some Versace powder.
B: Foo-sachie! Do it big then Luv
Me: LMAO @ foo-sachie! i need to remember where I put it. O__O

Lawd. Who loses Versace powder??? I know that ish wasn’t cheap. I’m so damb basic and simple. I’m like a white tank top. You try to put embellishments on me and I still look simple. I need to upgrade my life and become a Hermes bag or somefin. I’mo go buy foundation or powder or something. And mascara that didn’t expire in 2005. And maybe use some of the eyeshadow I got. And that whole “blush” thing. I’mo do that too.

Me with makeup on at the Red Pump photoshoot from January. This is what I should have looked like on TV. WOMP!!! (sidenote: I STAY cracking up at something. A mess). Hmm… and I realize I look nekkid in this pic. I wasn’t. I had on a strapless dress. Sharrap.

But like I said up top. If I look all cute all the time, folks will expect that of me and that’s too much pressha. Yeah. That makes much sense. In the meantime, y’all betta love me. Eye bags and all. Shoo…

P.S. I like that picture of me. Can someone slide it across Idris Elba’s desk or something? No??? SELFISH!

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22 Comments

  1. whit
    March 12, 2010 at 3:05 pm — Reply

    YUS YUS YUS! THIS JUST MADE MY MORNING. I'm constantly stressing bout my eyes. I didn't start wearing concealer until my last year of college. I look back on those pics before and it's like GAWTDAM, y didn't anyone pull me aside to tell me how rachet I looked??

    I made the mistake of not wearing it one day at work and someone was like OMG, you look tired! (aka dayum, bish…you look a mess!) AND I was WASNT tired!!!! :(
    I had slept 8 hours! These eyes are genetic…cant escape em. I've tired errythang!

    Somebody twitpic Luvvie's photo to Idris. loloolol

  2. Reecie
    March 12, 2010 at 3:23 pm — Reply

    thats a very good picture of you up there! I didn't start wearing makeup until one of my LSs insisted that every girl should have a few key things. I didn't get good at it until a few years later. I just started wearing mascara a yr ago and Im 28, so there you go. lol. when I do put makeup on I wear concealer–since I have acne scars that are not fading as quickly as I'd like, mineral powder maybe, eyeshadow, blush sometimes–thats it. Oh and lipstick/gloss. sounds like a lot but its not.

    as I type all this I have purposely gone makeup free for the past 2 weeks in rebellion for wearing a done face for an entire week at a conference. so maybe I'm not the best to promote makeup. LOL. I'm lazy. I would say start slow and you have great people helping you out! People are really afraid of makeup for no reason. Its supposed to enhance, and most that get into the groove start to like it! I know I did…

  3. PBG
    March 12, 2010 at 3:39 pm — Reply

    LuvBug, you know I wear make up & buy it all the time! iLoves me some face paints! But on a regular day, I wear eyeliner, mascara & lip gloss. That's it. Those of us w/great skin don't need the extra. I wear my "full face" to special events like going to Target, Best Buy & the Waffle House. Find a powder & foundation to match, some blush & an eyeshadow palette with several choices. Add those things to a clean and well moisturized fab face and you are GOOD!!! Witcho fine self!

  4. KindredSmile
    March 12, 2010 at 4:02 pm — Reply

    LMAO at our conversation above – I forget how dumb we are sometimes. Well, you know my stance on makeup (it's even harder with sensitive skin) but I've said it before and I'll say it again: you don't have bags under your eyes, cause you barely HAVE eyes, Catface! Let your Soul Glo and your light shine – if you were seriously lacking in the facial area, I'd have said something rude by now. :-)

  5. jes
    March 13, 2010 at 3:31 am — Reply

    You're beautiful!

  6. jes
    March 13, 2010 at 3:32 am — Reply

    Don't even bother submitting a photo to me for the speaker page. I'm going to use this nekkid one.

  7. imsopretty08
    March 13, 2010 at 8:17 pm — Reply

    First of all, GAWJUSSS pic!
    I don't wear makeup, jus a lil lipgloss when I remember LOL. I don;t know the first thing about makeup. One day I went to the MAC counter and had them play on my face and I looked in the mirror and didn't recognize myself. LOL the makeup was pretty but I just wasn't feelin it. Blame it on my inner tomboy *kanye/gary coleman shrug combo*

  8. Roxy
    March 14, 2010 at 2:53 am — Reply

    Makeup for the lazy: Bare Escentuals!

    I just started about a week ago and I can look good in less than 10 minutes.

    Other key things: CoverGirl Exact Eyelights mascara, Smoky Shadow Blast, & Maybelline Shine Sensational Lipgloss.

    Walgreens always has a sale on basic stuff, so scope em and take advantage of them!

    By the way, I'm far from an expert. Just a tomboy transitioning from cook to corporate America lady.

    Good luck!

  9. Luvvie
    March 14, 2010 at 9:27 pm — Reply

    LOL! See? That's exactly what I wanna avoid. I'ont wanna start wearing makeup alla tahm and having folks think I'm sick just b/c I aint got none on

  10. Luvvie
    March 14, 2010 at 9:28 pm — Reply

    Thanks Reecie!! I will start slow. Baby steps. I'm a bum so… lol

  11. Luvvie
    March 14, 2010 at 9:29 pm — Reply

    Yes, u's a makeup diva. I love it!!! But LMAO @ special events being target and the waffle house." Cole, u stoopid!!! And thanks boo! U know I be trying. I thank my African mama.

  12. Luvvie
    March 14, 2010 at 9:29 pm — Reply

    SHARRAP! I do have eyes! They just shy lolol

  13. Luvvie
    March 14, 2010 at 9:29 pm — Reply

    Thanks Jes!!! :-D

  14. Luvvie
    March 14, 2010 at 9:30 pm — Reply

    LMAO U gon have the BlogHer ladies thinking I's nekkid. "this aint that type of conference." LOLOL

  15. Luvvie
    March 14, 2010 at 9:31 pm — Reply

    Thanks chica!!! I got many lipglosses too. I only wear them when I wanna make my lips flashy. otherwise, chapstick and vaseline are my BiFFs

  16. Luvvie
    March 14, 2010 at 9:31 pm — Reply

    Ooooo i'mo check out Bare Escentuals. Sho'nuff

  17. @redbonegirl97
    March 14, 2010 at 11:00 pm — Reply

    OK Chickadeeyou look fabu in the pic. I like you am not on the make-up bandwagon, but I always have an arsenal when I need it for going. Ialso mostly work on my eyes and maybe a little blush because us high yellow folks get kinda pale in the winter months. Lipgloss is always a must.

    Tiffany
    http://liferequiresmorechocolate.blogspot.com

  18. alissachristine
    March 15, 2010 at 2:00 am — Reply

    Luvvie!!! This is so on point! I never wear make-up either. For the reasons you stated a) I'd much rather sleep b) I dont want to NOT wear it one day and thus look a hot mess and c) (which you didn't point out) I hate taking that crap off!

    To make matters worse, I was a broadcast journalism major at my all-white university and you know white girls come out the womb in a full face of makeup. I used to sit at that anchor desk with vaseline on my eyelashes and Carmex on my lips. LOL.

    Lately, I've been trying the whole makeup thing but I've realized I'm way too lazy and cant really get into it. I'm trying though!!! Glad I'm not the only Clueless CoverGirl out here haha. Great post!

  19. Lite Bread
    March 17, 2010 at 1:43 am — Reply

    Yer Most Beautiful Awesomelynessis,
    You are beautiful just as you are. Let your natural radiance shine!

    I wish more women would do that. Most 'Women of Color' are best "As Is".

    If only THEY believed that …

  20. Shannon
    March 23, 2010 at 12:07 am — Reply

    "I'm the kind whose beauty regimen consists ENTIRELY of shower and lotion. I'm so low maintenance that the same soap I use for my body is the same I use for my face. Is that horrible? "

    Nope cuz I use the same soap for body, face, and hair. My lotion (coconut oil) goes in my hair, too!

    P.S. You are GORGEOUS!!!

  21. @YoDeVa
    March 23, 2010 at 1:30 pm — Reply

    I too luv/hate makeup.. Ironically, I'm a makeup artist (hehehe) but I don't wear makeup on a regular basis. Honestly, mascara (that wasn't manufactured in 1982 O___o)) and lipgloss go a long way. And even if you don't want to put on mascara daily (maybe b/c you don't want to have to wash it off later) just use eyelash gel. It's clear and all it does is separate your lashes and makes them all glossy. It looks like you have long, beautiful lashes anyway so just use that (wet 'n wild, bonnie belle, e.l.f.). I agree, that maybe you should keep some loose powder just in case you have another celebrity moment.. you don't wanna be shiny lol. But other than that, you don't need much else. Again, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!!!!!

  22. @YoDeVa
    March 23, 2010 at 1:35 pm — Reply

    *sidebar* I'mo need you to throw away that prehistoric mascara before you give yourself conjunctivitis! O_____o Do you know how much bacteria is surely in that old azz tube of Maybelline Great Lash??????????? LMBOOOOOOOO

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