Friday Foolishness: The Cuss Out Heard ‘Round the World
I came across this post while reading Shay D Lady’s blog and I laughed so hard I started hiccuping. I asked her if I could repost here and she kindly obliged. THIS is true Friday Foolishness.
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I went to my daughter’s “Honors Day” program. My child has made either teacher’s honor roll or principal’s list every 9 weeks. She has never made a “C” and rarely brings a “B” home.
I dressed her in a pretty flower dress, her hair was freshly braided and beaded. She was ready to go. I get to the program and I didn’t even have time to sit down. The program was 15 minutes long. Why you ask?
Because apparently students had to either have principal’s list every 9 weeks or honor roll, but not a combination of the two. Yes, you heard me right. My daughter who has had principal’s list twice and Honor role twice was not honored in the honor’s assembly because she was intermittently good and great.
Her teacher told me and several other obviously upset parents that the office made the decision.
So I joined the gang of near rioting parents that stormed the office where the same information was repeated. I jostle my way to the front and ask her: “Well in order to have principal’s list you would have had to meet the standard for teacher’s honor roll, correct?” She nods her head in agreement. So I said “Technically, that student made honor roll and Principals list, right?”
She says “No you cant do both that’s the schools rule.” As I am gearing up to go off in a professional nice nasty way of Epic proportions I hear the following:
“That is some gotdayum bullshyt! This is the LAST Muthaf!ckin year my baby is going to go to this school. Now she comes in here every day and does what the hell she is supposed to and you mean to tell me she can’t walk up on stage to get her award over some bullshyt like this? This is some racist bullshyt you white devil biatch. I done took off work for this and you done f!cked up my day. But you know what you devil biatch muthaf!cka? I hope you have a nice one”.
It was extremely quiet as the angry parent turned on her 6 inch silver stiletto heels and clicked out of the office.
*insert flavor flav wowwwww*
There was really nothing left to say. She took all the clown and used it herself. There was no mo’ clown left. The “go off” I had planned now paled in comparison. I was almost mad that she stole my thunder in such a ghetto, hood manner but that was probably the best cuss out I have witnessed in a long time. I mean that was EPIC. And the ending? GAWD. I wish I could have said it myself.
I am going to find a time and a place perfect for its usage.
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Luvvie’s note: SEE?!?! That cussout was CLASSIC! The kind that you call people you ain’t talked to in months to say “GURLLL lemme tell you what happened today!” That cuss out inspired me to get my “GO OFF” game up. Have y’all ever witnessed such a cuss out? Do share! I must hear more tales of ratchetness.
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Category: Guest Blog, Random
OMG, that was the best thing evah. And yes, the best part was the ending. I’mma re-quote it for sheer props:
“But you know what you devil biatch muthaf!cka? I hope you have a nice one”.”
Legend-effing-dary.
.-= Cheekie´s last blog ..Friday Foolery: Fry That Chicken =-.
Yeah that ending was dope. I loved everything about it.
*slow clap*
THAT is how you cuss somebody out! And, the fact that she had on 6-inch stilettos FURTHER lets me know that she is my she-ro.
Right! The click clack away after the epic cussout was my fave part. I need to get like her.
OMG!! LOL That was so funny! I’m using that one! I’m ready for somebody to piss me off just so I can have an excuse to use it.
as usual you have provided me with a laugh like no other!!! Lawdamercy!!!!! now that was a proper cuss out!!!
That is classic! I mean, we should teach kids that they aren’t doing these things for the accolades, but at the same time, recognize their achievements. That being said….that mom was awesome! LOL!
.-= Sabrina ´s last blog ..My new mani…too bad it already chipped =-.
She deserves an award for “having her daughter’s back.”
OMG I can’t stand yall! Laughin’ so hard while I read this!!
.-= DivaKattGurl´s last blog ..DivaKattGurl: @luvvieig Listen Chica I read this while I was n the airport I swea fo God I can’t stop laughin’ Im cryin’ w/ tears! http://ow.ly/1S02T =-.
Gurl I also cackled LOUDLY when I first read it.
I would love to think that I could dig deep and provide such a righteous show of sistah-gurlness…but I swear it is my lot in life to end mess up good “get-em’told” moments with some botched attempt to seem cool. If it was me, such an awesome moment would have crumbled with a ankle twist in my 6-inch stilleto heels halfway down the hall….ya know the kind when you grab what’s near, even if its your childs head.
I luv to see others do it, but I know I will never join them.
classic! i knew there was a reason why i subscribed. That even tops apimpnamedslickfront! and i thought it couldnt be done.
That’s my sister right there. I kid you not. My big sis is crazy like that
Procrastinating like a mofo and found this post in my bookmarks…sweet baby Jesus this is still the funniest thing I have ever read and I love Luvvie forever and ever for bringing such fckery into my life.
Totally should have learnt by now to read Luvvie in public places though. Hysterical woman at table 12.
LOL! Thanks Sarah! Glad you found my foolery.
So I’m spending a lazy, hot Sunday on the sofa perusing old blogs and came across this ‘ish. My 8 month old is trying to figure out why mommy is crying. I CANNOT TAKE IT!!!! And I’m a middle school teacher, so I see this entire scene, which makes it so much more funny. I love you for this!