I came across this post while reading Shay D Lady’s blog and I laughed so hard I started hiccuping. I asked her if I could repost here and she kindly obliged. THIS is true Friday Foolishness.
I went to my daughter’s “Honors Day” program. My child has made either teacher’s honor roll or principal’s list every 9 weeks. She has never made a “C” and rarely brings a “B” home.
I dressed her in a pretty flower dress, her hair was freshly braided and beaded. She was ready to go. I get to the program and I didn’t even have time to sit down. The program was 15 minutes long. Why you ask?
Because apparently students had to either have principal’s list every 9 weeks or honor roll, but not a combination of the two. Yes, you heard me right. My daughter who has had principal’s list twice and Honor role twice was not honored in the honor’s assembly because she was intermittently good and great.
Her teacher told me and several other obviously upset parents that the office made the decision.
So I joined the gang of near rioting parents that stormed the office where the same information was repeated. I jostle my way to the front and ask her: “Well in order to have principal’s list you would have had to meet the standard for teacher’s honor roll, correct?” She nods her head in agreement. So I said “Technically, that student made honor roll and Principals list, right?”
“That is some gotdayum bullshyt! This is the LAST Muthaf!ckin year my baby is going to go to this school. Now she comes in here every day and does what the hell she is supposed to and you mean to tell me she can’t walk up on stage to get her award over some bullshyt like this? This is some racist bullshyt you white devil biatch. I done took off work for this and you done f!cked up my day. But you know what you devil biatch muthaf!cka? I hope you have a nice one”.
It was extremely quiet as the angry parent turned on her 6 inch silver stiletto heels and clicked out of the office.
*insert flavor flav wowwwww*
There was really nothing left to say. She took all the clown and used it herself. There was no mo’ clown left. The “go off” I had planned now paled in comparison. I was almost mad that she stole my thunder in such a ghetto, hood manner but that was probably the best cuss out I have witnessed in a long time. I mean that was EPIC. And the ending? GAWD. I wish I could have said it myself.
I am going to find a time and a place perfect for its usage.
Luvvie’s note: SEE?!?! That cussout was CLASSIC! The kind that you call people you ain’t talked to in months to say “GURLLL lemme tell you what happened today!” That cuss out inspired me to get my “GO OFF” game up. Have y’all ever witnessed such a cuss out? Do share! I must hear more tales of ratchetness.