10 Reasons Why Michael Jackson is the GOAT (Greatest of All Time)

[ 29 ] June 25, 2010 |

A year ago today, the world lost a bit of it’s awesome when Michael Jackson, the King of Pop passed away. I remember that I was in my office when I found out on TMZ at exactly 4:30pm CST. I was hoping TMZ made a mistake, so I refreshed my page every couple of minutes. No retraction was given. I finally exclaimed “OH MY GOD! Michael Jackson died!” WOW. I was in shock. I wrote  THIS Letter to Michael Jackson the night he died. My thug was ALL murked.

Michael Jackson Blue Eye Pic

He was living art…

I had NEVER seen this picture of Michael Jackson before until yesterday. Turns out it was gonna be used for the cover of the Invincible album. It was taken by a French photographer. Here’s the story behind the pic. Shoutout to Afrobella for introducing it to my life by making it her Twitter avatar.

Oh, Kang Miko!!! WHYYYYY?!?!?! iBlame Human Nature! You weren’t supposed to go! We called your name like you said but you weren’t there. *WALL SLIDE*

We took you for granted while you were here. We harped on ALL your flaws. We laughed at you. We played many bald-headed games and didn’t treat you right. Now you’ve been gone a year and we realize that history made just one of you. We won’t be having another Michael Jackson.

When I watched “This is It” in the theater, I was doing ALL TYPES of *chair slides* in that joint. That concert was going to be the BEST. THING. EVER. I can’t e’en watch that DVD again. My soulspace can’t take it. All I know is that a year has passed and it’s still hard to imagine that you’re gone.

Everyone has an instrumental moment in their life that has a Michael Jackson song tied to it.

Kang Miko was the greatest.

10 Reasons (out of a gabillion) Why Michael Jackson is the GOAT (greatest of all time)

10. He wore flooding pants and nobody asked him to “pull your shoes up, Michael.”

9. He told Billie Jean that STRAIGHT up that chile wasn’t e’en his. AND she ain’t take him on Maury. THAT is authority. He was SOOO bad ass!

Kang Miko was IT!

8. He perfected the diagonal bankhead bounce before we all e’en knew what the bankhead bounce was. That Black and White vidjo was LIFE!

7. He made STRAIGHT grown men squeal like teenagers and FAINT at concerts. Everyone was gay for Kang Miko.

6. He decided he wanted to lean 45 degrees while dancing and he got shoes INVENTED and patented to allow you to do it. These jokers nowadays are telling us to “Lean Wit It” but he just said “Naw son. I’ma make my shoes LEAN for me.” WHAT?!? Who else can do that. Only the GOAT!

5. The Moonwalk. *drops mic* Nothing more needs to be said about that.

Moonwalk MJ gif

4. He won more awards than some people even know EXIST. 13 Guinness World Records, 19 Grammys, 26 American Music Awards, 12 World Music Awards. I’m sure Jesus has him as His favorite artist too.

3. He made mini movies, not videos. Storylines. Actors. THE WORKS! All we’re left with is… folks rapping into the camera with the girl at the mall dropping it low. This can’t be life.

2. He sold 780 million albums. #WaitWHAT?? Did folks make up that number up? I don’t e’en know how to count that high. Nope. 780 million. In REAL numbers that sound infinite. You might as well say GAJILLION and you’d still be accurate.

If this picture doesn’t make your ENTIRE life…

#1. He is the THRILLERMAKER!!! Always and FOREVER.

My kids WILL know that Billie Jean was not your lover while Jamming. We won’t Stop Till We Get Enough. Michael, you made HIStory and that is undeniable. Now that you’ve Eased on Down the Road to meet Him, I Cry because you’re Gone Too Soon. We thought Heaven can wait but it apparently couldn’t. Your music Heal the World and for that, you Rock my World. I Never Can Say Goodbye but I do hope you’re resting in peace.

I’m in a state of perpetual *WALL SLIDING* all day. Lemme just lay on this floor (I’m so dramatical). MICHAEL JACKSON IS THE GOAT!

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Category: Famous folks, Music

Comments (29)

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  1. Nygma says:

    loved it, consider your case made…..MJ is just……and no one else could EVER…..

  2. Beez says:

    Luvvie, get off the floor!! It’s time to celebrate! I thought I’d be wallsliding with you at this point, but I couldn’t go. This was too awesome of a presence. In 50 years, he changed music. He changed entertainment. He changed the world. While he is gone, we are still here. To further his legacy. To do some good. To make this world a better place.

    *misty smile*

  3. Neicy says:

    This made me have the teary face smile. This was beautiful.
    Forever Michael.

  4. PBG says:

    THIS IS IT!!!!!

    Michael Jackson is and will always be the best. I love him forever & ever!! The King will NEVER DIE!!

  5. Brittany says:

    I was doing great until I got to the bottom and read the tribute using his songs!

    But YES at your list… Just yes. http://thafeedback.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/patti3.gif

  6. Alovelydai says:

    *wall slides*


    *45 degree lean*

    In your honor MJ…You Rock My World!

  7. JG* says:

    That Bille Jean poster pic is LIFE!! Uncle to Jermajesty!!

    OMG… This was great. I miss Michael.

  8. Cheekie says:

    That MJ badass poster and the MJ cuties make my entire EXISTENCE. I fainted upwards, it is so awesome. *saving both for prosperity*

  9. Tiffany says:


    Peace, Love and Chocolate

  10. Adiya says:

    I really like this post. Michael Jackson was THE GOAT!!!!

    And you’re soo funny lol

  11. Dee says:

    I can’t even be sentimental cuz you called blanket an aztec baby!

  12. Gwen (@ashlee1969) says:

    Tell me why this made me cry??? My inner thug is wrecked! LOL!

  13. Gwendella says:

    I’m a whole year late but I loved everything you said. In tears. Love your blog.

  14. Zandria says:

    I laughed at various posts from your archives all night last night and well into this morning, and this…made me cry. I was cool til I got down to number one. I love you for this.

    Next up is your letter to MJ…I know that’s going to have me boo-hooing, too.

  15. Truth says:

    This was great :) thanks for posting. Truly the greatest… How come so many people call him overrated and underestimate him? It’s not fair… Can hardly wait until I go to heaven and I am rid of all this competition and accusation against Mike. I know the truth

  16. Truth says:

    This was great :) thanks for posting. Truly the greatest… How come so many people call him overrated and underestimate him? It’s not fair… Can hardly wait until I go to heaven and I am rid of all this competition and accusation against Mike. I know the truth. Thanks for sticking up for him

  17. Funlayo says:

    I must thank you for the pic of all the little MJs! SUPER adorable and now my desktop wall paper.

  18. Afromorena says:

    I’m a year or so late to this post, but I have to wholeheartedly agree on every single one of these! Love it!

  19. Jasmine says:

    Loved this post. I was at school about to take my Spanish 1 exam when I heard the news. I had to break it to my professor in spanish. He just looked at me like what??? I cried my eyes out when I heard. and even NOW sometimes it’s hard for me to hear his voice. He was the Great Of All Time.


  20. ayo adene says:

    you made me smile.

  21. Sunny says:

    You are brilliant, Luvvie! Brilliant, 100% right, and funny as hell. I heart you!

  22. Queeny says:

    I laughed while crying at this. It still hurts dammit! Q

  23. Nicky says:

    I am so late to this post, but I’m so glad I found it! Thanks for this man, you literally made me laugh out loud when I read this and I couldn’t help but develop teary eyes. Michael’s death continues to affect me to this day. The world lost A WHOLE LOT of AWESOMENESS with his passing and I am saddened for those who did not have the good fortune of experiencing his magic in their lifetime. Such a profound loss. He was greatness and indeed the GOAT. Music just isn’t he same anymore

  24. Kibali says:

    Oh, four years late but still DAMN!

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