Famous folksFashionLetter

Dear Aretha, Same Dress Two Days in a Row?

I was first gonna post about something completely different but this took precedence so I had to. Thank to Claire Sulmers of The Fashion Bomb for bringing this to my attention. She wrote a post over at AOL Black Voices and I HAD to write Aretha Franklin a sternly-worded letter for her foolishness.

Dear Auntie Retha,

Hey Aretha, gurl. How you doing? Whatchu been up to? Yeah… that’s nice.

Anyway… what I came here for is important. Remember when all the world HAILED you for that HAT you wore at President Obama’s Inauguration? Yes gurl. You SLAYED at LEAST 1,342 hoes on sight. You STOLE that there show right up from under the Beloved One. Good times, I say. Good times.

Well, you’ve never been the most fashionable person, ‘Retha. With your penchant for spaghetti strap dresses (when they are CLEARLY not made for your body type since they dig into your shoulder. Bra burn ain’t cute. I mean, come on! Why do you love spaghetti strap dresses so? They don’t do anything to flatter your body. And honestly, the straps always look like they’re struggling under the weight of your mammaries. But that’s besides the point)… Oh. This was supposed to be a list. I’ll let the spaghetti strap guilt stand on its own. Anyway, where was I?

Ah yes. So we know you’re not a fashion maven but this is a fail even for you.

Aretha Franklin in same dress

(Left) – Aretha at the Tony Awards on June 13th. (Right) – Aretha at the Apollo on June 14th

Wearing THE SAME DRESS? Two nights in a row? Now, some things just say “I don’t gibbadamb.” This is one of them. Re-Re, did you think you were gon see completely different people on those 2 nights? Was that it? Or did you REALLY like the dress and wanted folks to get a 2nd look at it? When you decided to put on the same dress back-to-back, did you just figure folks won’t notice because you switched your hairhat?

Sidenote: What in the deuce is that hairhat you had on to the left? Barbie’s hair looks more real. It reminds me of the hair on my old “Pretty Penny Chatterbox” doll from when I was little. All plasticky and shiny. And the color? COME the heck on! You ain’t even TRY to act like it ain’t a hat made of hair (hence “hairhat”). The Korean beauty supply store got WAY better hairs (yes, hairs) you coulda picked. You’re not e’en trying.

But yes, kudos for AT LEAST switching your wigs. I just hope you got that dress dry-cleaned or something between them days. Otherwise, it probably smelled like a combination of Essence of Last Night, Must and Estée Lauder Pleasures (to mask the other 2). I just can’t. You’re too rich for this ‘Refah. Even if you ain’t got monies. You coulda dug up some old outfit you didn’t wear THE NIGHT BEFORE and went to the Apollo.

I’m just saying…

Yours in O___o,

LuvBug

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13 Comments

  1. June 16, 2010 at 7:44 am — Reply

    Me thinks it has the same wrinkles from the previous night too!

  2. June 16, 2010 at 8:00 am — Reply

    Why does she insist on spaghetti straps? This makes my soul cry…

    I am just gonna go with the theory that she had a fashion emergency (broken spaghetti strap on her 1st choice for night 2, perhaps?) and she couldn’t just go to 5-7-9 and pick up a sparkly number off the rack…with her substantial…rack…so she hsd to recycle. The Queen is all about the environment. She’s an activist!

  3. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Luvvie, Tyrelle R.. Tyrelle R. said: RT @luvvieig: New AweLuv post: Dear Re-Re Franklin, 2 days in a row? http://bit.ly/bb3bBM […]

  4. sandra
    June 16, 2010 at 10:47 am — Reply

    Maybe it’s just me…but I don’t give a darn who wears clothes twice as long as they are clean…

    • August 27, 2010 at 3:14 am — Reply

      How u know Re-Re’s were clean? just saying… Did she have time to dry clean? Bet she ain’t. lol

  5. Cheekie
    June 16, 2010 at 11:25 am — Reply

    “Ain’t Re-Re rude for this?”

    She is. Well, at least her bag on the left is cute! Yeah, that’s alls I got.

    Seriously, Reefah?! Folks can spot a duplicate dress worn by two different stars with YEARS in between and you thought your could get away with a one-day gap?? Hell, maybe you didn’t. Hell, maybe you were tipsy and thought it was a different dress. Something has to explain this as well as that Snuffaluffagus sample you’re carrying. What is that, a boa? I thought it was an odd purse for a minute. Or a hat.

  6. Renisha
    June 16, 2010 at 12:01 pm — Reply

    “And honestly, the straps always look like they’re struggling under the weight of your mammaries.”

    Why did I HOLLER at this line? Po ReRe. I don’t even have words for that poor woman. Why ReRe? WHYYYY? I just…

  7. […] now look at you, instead of commanding attention, you’ve lost the spotlight to Aretha Franklin’s bedazzled breasts. (Also, while you were on the red carpet together, you should have asked for some wig tips. PETA’s […]

  8. June 16, 2010 at 4:46 pm — Reply

    I’m confused about why the hell she clutching that Muppet both nights. She look like she hemmed up the dude that sang MahnaMahna and decided to use him as a clutch. My poor ReRe…time has not been kind. Nor has her stylist.

  9. June 16, 2010 at 8:13 pm — Reply

    Love her, but dayum, really? Don’t you have a stylist Aretha? Someone that has the look of WTF when you come downstairs dressed like this.

    Peace, Love and Chocolate
    Tiffany

  10. June 22, 2010 at 12:31 pm — Reply

    do u see how they’re roasting claire for that post? oh please they dont wear things two days in a row so why all the noise??? recycle yes, but wash and dry and “air out” in between!!!

  11. bogart4017
    June 25, 2010 at 3:42 pm — Reply

    @ mrs tiye—
    Stylist? What stylist? She been dressing like shes on a Woolworth’s budget since 1967. Some of her album covers alone give me the blues. Her wardrobe gives new meaning to the term “housefrau”.
    Shes won the best dressed award in “popular mechanics” for 22 years running now.

    • August 27, 2010 at 2:27 am — Reply

      DEAD! LMAO not Woolworth!

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