Red Velvet Fried Chicken. My Soul Says YES!
Y’all KNOW I don’t typically blog midday but when things of such importance arise, I must ring the alarm! I have been alerted to the existence of RED VELVET FRIED CHICKEN by THIS!
Yes, I must type that in all caps each time because it is just that astounding and awesome. My spirit is moved. My soul is uplifted.
I LOVE red velvet anything. Cupcakes, cheesecake, batter… You name it. And fried chicken makes the world go round. This is fact. Like really. The Earth’s axis are greased with fried chicken oil. That’s what makes it rotate so smoothly. Look it up.
So to COMBINE THEM??? Jesus hold my mule and my heart! Here’s the recipe as listed by the restaurant that came up with this delicious evil:
“At first glance, it’ll look like a heaping plate of leg, thigh and breast. But upon further inspection, you’ll see that the chicken has taken on a slight reddish hue. That’s because your precious fried bird has been pre-soaked in AC’s signature red velvet cake batter, then dredged in toasted, crumbled bits of red velvet cupcake before being dipped in a frying pan.”
So now I have some pertinent questions.
Is it served by unicorns on phoenix feathers? (I’m apt to believe it is. And comes with a side of eye of newt.)
Are my taste buds going to do the WOP upon first taste or will they go into overdrive? (My taste buds are already doing the cabbage patch in anticipation.)
Why didn’t I think of this first? (I don’t use my creative juices for the right things.)
Will my arteries clog up upon first bite? (Probably.)
Is this the epitome of the diabeetus? (I’m sure of it.)
Do I even care? (I’m pretty sure I don’t.)
Why don’t they deliver cross-country? (They’re in California. I’m in Illinois.)
Whose chef hat do I have to steal to get some of this? (Maybe Chef Julius’. Although I’m sure he is NOT in support of this.)
I NEED SOME OF THIS RED VELVET FRIED CHICKEN!!!
Won’t you join me in a group *leyomi drop* session at the thought of this RED VELVET FRIED CHICKEN?
My soul says yes. My arteries say no. What say you? Am I the only one looking at my screen really hard hoping to channel some magical scratch and sniff power of the interwebs?
Edit: So I called American Cupcake, the bakery that makes the RED VELVET FRIED CHICKEN. They’re located in San Francisco, CA. And I asked them if they deliver it cross country. They broke my heart and said no. Allow me to now go throw myself off a step stool unto soft carpet. HEART BROKEN! WHY WON’T THEY GIVE PEACE A CHANCE??? *wall slide*
Who lives in San Francisco and wants to pick me up some, freeze and ship it? WHO I SAY?!? I shall commence “Operation Get Some RED VELVET FRIED CHICKEN” and will not rest until I get some.