Food

Red Velvet Fried Chicken. My Soul Says YES!

Y’all KNOW I don’t typically blog midday but when things of such importance arise, I must ring the alarm! I have been alerted to the existence of RED VELVET FRIED CHICKEN by THIS!

Red Velvet Fried Chicken

Proof that God loves us.

RED.

VELVET.

FRIED.

CHICKEN.

Yes, I must type that in all caps each time because it is just that astounding and awesome. My spirit is moved. My soul is uplifted.

I LOVE red velvet anything. Cupcakes, cheesecake, batter… You name it. And fried chicken makes the world go round. This is fact. Like really. The Earth’s axis are greased with fried chicken oil. That’s what makes it rotate so smoothly. Look it up.

So to COMBINE THEM??? Jesus hold my mule and my heart! Here’s the recipe as listed by the restaurant that came up with this delicious evil:

“At first glance, it’ll look like a heaping plate of leg, thigh and breast. But upon further inspection, you’ll see that the chicken has taken on a slight reddish hue. That’s because your precious fried bird has been pre-soaked in AC’s signature red velvet cake batter, then dredged in toasted, crumbled bits of red velvet cupcake before being dipped in a frying pan.”

So now I have some pertinent questions.

Is it served by unicorns on phoenix feathers? (I’m apt to believe it is. And comes with a side of eye of newt.)

Are my taste buds going to do the WOP upon first taste or will they go into overdrive? (My taste buds are already doing the cabbage patch in anticipation.)

Why didn’t I think of this first? (I don’t use my creative juices for the right things.)

Will my arteries clog up upon first bite? (Probably.)

Is this the epitome of the diabeetus? (I’m sure of it.)

Do I even care? (I’m pretty sure I don’t.)

Why don’t they deliver cross-country? (They’re in California. I’m in Illinois.)

Whose chef hat do I have to steal to get some of this? (Maybe Chef Julius’. Although I’m sure he is NOT in support of this.)

I NEED SOME OF THIS RED VELVET FRIED CHICKEN!!!

Won’t you join me in a group *leyomi drop* session at the thought of this RED VELVET FRIED CHICKEN?

synchronized leyomi dropping gif

YEEESSSS! iLIVE!

My soul says yes. My arteries say no. What say you? Am I the only one looking at my screen really hard hoping to channel some magical scratch and sniff power of the interwebs?

Edit: So I called American Cupcake, the bakery that makes the RED VELVET FRIED CHICKEN. They’re located in San Francisco, CA. And I asked them if they deliver it cross country. They broke my heart and said no. Allow me to now go throw myself off a step stool unto soft carpet. HEART BROKEN! WHY WON’T THEY GIVE PEACE A CHANCE??? *wall slide*

Who lives in San Francisco and wants to pick me up some, freeze and ship it? WHO I SAY?!? I shall commence “Operation Get Some RED VELVET FRIED CHICKEN” and will not rest until I get some.

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72 Comments

  1. August 13, 2010 at 1:48 pm

    Wow…that just seems…i might need to try me some

    • August 13, 2010 at 2:22 pm

      By “might” do you mean “definitely?” Same here.

      • frenchie
        October 30, 2014 at 4:33 pm

        Gurrrrl you a mess roflmaoo!

  2. August 13, 2010 at 1:53 pm

    WOW. I mean WOW. I need to try this.

    • August 13, 2010 at 2:22 pm

      YES! Don’t we all?

  3. Cheekie
    August 13, 2010 at 2:10 pm

    O_O

    • August 13, 2010 at 2:22 pm

      So does that mean you’ont want none?

      • Cheekie
        August 16, 2010 at 7:31 am

        lol, that’s my “that looks SO good but I’ont know how I feel about cake batter and chicken” face.

    • August 13, 2010 at 7:34 pm

      I’m with Cheekie on this one…
      O_O

  4. August 13, 2010 at 2:11 pm

    Ahem. From your blog post today: “…fried chicken makes the world go round. This is fact. Like really. The Earth’s axis are greased with fried chicken oil. That’s what makes it rotate so smoothly. Look it up.”

    You are so dumb. You are really dumb. FOR REAL

    OMG this post made me ROFLMAO, IRL

    • August 13, 2010 at 2:22 pm

      LMAO!!! You just Dodsoned me! It’s aight. I am.

  5. August 13, 2010 at 2:17 pm

    Sounds absolutely disgusting…

    • August 15, 2010 at 10:32 pm

      *marks comment as spam* LOL

  6. AJ
    August 13, 2010 at 2:25 pm

    *side-eye*

    WhosoEVA concocted this monstrosity must have a side gig with the dye-a-beet-us people!!! And cream cheese mashed potatoes on the side?

    That’s why the terrorists hate us, Luvvie. They hate us for our cake coated yardbird type freedoms.

    • Momo'sMomma
      August 13, 2010 at 4:28 pm

      dead @ “cake coated yard bird freedoms”

    • August 15, 2010 at 10:33 pm

      “They hate us for our cake coated yardbird type freedoms.”

      BWAHAHAHA!!!

    • The Bunni
      October 16, 2012 at 5:01 pm

      ” cake coated yardbird’ HAHAHAHAHA!!! I just spit water everywhere!

  7. August 13, 2010 at 3:08 pm

    *adjusts Aretha Franklin Inauguration hat* Oh HELL YES! My favorite things in the world combined? I’m going on a month-long celery juice fast before trying it.

    • August 13, 2010 at 5:16 pm

      YES. Just… yes.

  8. SweetTee
    August 13, 2010 at 3:58 pm

    Just looking at that picture of red velvet fried chicken just gave me diabetes, high blood pressure and raised my bad cholesterol by 40 pts,- all at the same time. But I won’t lie, that looks good.

    My personal trainer nor nutritionist would not approve.

    BTW, I’m a first time poster. I’m a little late to your blog party (just discovered it two weeks ago), but now that I know, I visit frequently.

    Keep up the good work.

    • August 13, 2010 at 5:11 pm

      WELCOME!!! Don’t be a stranger ’round these parts. I’ma start handing welcome cookies or something.

      But yes, my girl who is a personal trainer has already mean-mugged me several times.

  9. August 13, 2010 at 4:49 pm

    I want some and I want some know. *straps Zoey in her carseat and heads to Cali.

    • August 13, 2010 at 5:10 pm

      Can you stop in Chicago and drop some off on your way back? Kthx!

  10. Maximillian
    August 13, 2010 at 5:29 pm

    Six million ways to die. That’s one.

    A good one tho.

    • August 13, 2010 at 5:32 pm

      Getting to the Glorious Gates while munching on red velvet chicken skin ain’t too bad.

  11. August 13, 2010 at 5:32 pm

    *in a my best Sophia voice* I’se feelin mighty down I’se feeling mighty low and then I seent yo article and I kno there was a God and he goin to cure of my hypertension after I get some of this chicken cause he love me all. #PraiseJesusinthenameofJesus

    • August 15, 2010 at 10:34 pm

      YES LAWD!!! Although this may ADD to ur hypertension, it’ll make u feel good for the coupla minutes u eat it.

  12. August 13, 2010 at 6:43 pm

    I curse the gods of bad digestion that render me unable to eat chicken or cake. I was dealing with it okay until I read this and discovered that I have been condemned to a life without Red Velvet Fried Chicken! I’ve never had a WALL SLIDE moment before but this is surely worthy….

    Luvvie you must eat this and live tweet (including twitpics) the entire experience so that I and all your other colonically-challenged readers can live vicariously through you!

    • August 13, 2010 at 6:49 pm

      No cake or CHICKEN?!? I weep Chris Brown tears for you. E-hugs stay strong.

    • August 15, 2010 at 10:35 pm

      You allergic to cake AND chicken??? HOW DO YOU LIVE?!? oh Max… Come here. let me hug you tender. You need it.

      • Frenchie
        October 30, 2014 at 4:38 pm

        OMG…I have to shut this down. I’m at work and I can’t stop lol….you are tooo much girl!!! roflmaOOOO I love you luvvie!!

    • krocka
      September 3, 2010 at 2:30 pm

      no chicken? no cake? po’ tink tink.

  13. August 13, 2010 at 10:18 pm

    Hell Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    ROFLMAO @ “Jesus hold my mule and my heart!”

    • August 15, 2010 at 10:35 pm

      Indeed!

  14. Shana
    August 14, 2010 at 12:21 pm

    I am done with your blog posts and commenters. This post had me melting out of my chair with laughter, and the group leiomy drop just put the icing on the cake.

    • August 15, 2010 at 10:36 pm

      That group leyomi drop is LIFE itself!!!

  15. August 14, 2010 at 1:00 pm

    I’ve just discovered this blog and it is amazing!

    • August 15, 2010 at 3:55 pm

      Welcome to my blog! So glad you dig it. Don’t be a stranger around here. 🙂

  16. August 15, 2010 at 2:09 pm

    I was laughing my ass off at this post, eyeballs drooling at the screen and err’thang, until you said that this place was located in San Fran- F*cking-Cisco (s’cuse my language, but im pretty heated rah’t bout nah)! The very place I lived in for the last 9 months! The very place I just RELOCATED from due to a promotion! I am now sitting here, holding myself, rocking to and fro. I am unsuccessfully trying to calm the shakes that are taking over my Red.Velvet.Fried.Chicken-LESS. body. As soon as I regain control of my facilities, I will be making a call to the airline and booking a flight. I will report back to you upon recovering from the epic case of the ‘itus that is sure to follow the meal. Unitl then, pray for me, cuz dis ish aint cute.

    Thank you, and good day.

    *shakes*
    *logs the hell off*

    • August 18, 2010 at 2:55 am

      You JUST moved from SF? This must be punishment for something you’ve done in the past. Like wear bad shoes. Or shop from Rainbow. Yes. That must be it.

      • Leslie
        January 1, 2013 at 1:20 pm

        I bought sunglasses from Rainbow once.. in 2008..

  17. August 15, 2010 at 2:23 pm

    You MUST attempt to make this…and blog about it. *as my arteries clog just thinking about it*

    • August 18, 2010 at 2:54 am

      Girl if I tried to make that, I may end up kitchenless. Burning up the whole place. No ma’am!

  18. Dr. Kiti
    August 15, 2010 at 4:33 pm

    I live just across the water from SF. I almost lost my shit when you said the bakery was in Cali, then I started praying it was at least somewhere near me (a lot of the good shit’s in SoCal but LA ad that area down there is a world away from us here). When you said it’s in SF, I made a mental note to head over there ASAP. If you need me to FedEx you some fried chicken, hit me up 😉

    • Capricorn
      August 16, 2010 at 2:31 pm

      I need you to FedEx me some. I”ll reimburse you and all.

      And iLive for Luvvie and her posts. 🙂 I started using iLive, iDied, iCant IRL, like out loud. People look at me like this: o.0, but i’on even care!! Lemme call my soror in SF and see if she can get me some.

    • August 19, 2010 at 12:00 am

      Yeah, I’m being punished, but please believe I am on the phone with my girlfriends who will be going and getting this meal for me and shipping it down south this weekend. Which still doesn’t help, as I will be in Chi-raq this weekend. I cant win for loosing… at least I can wear some red pumps, stand on Michaigan Ave and hope to run into you… *oh well*

  19. Vina May
    August 17, 2010 at 2:06 pm

    WHOA! Im in Cali but im in the land of Los Scandalous so its still a million miles away. I might have to become a Baydestrian just for the red velvet cake batter fried chicken. Shout out the the East Bay im coming to see you soon, Red Velvet Chicken for everyone!!!

  20. August 18, 2010 at 1:49 am

    Yes, I need it! (Chaneling Monica) Red Velvet is everything to meeeeeee!

  21. August 18, 2010 at 1:56 am

    Damn only in SF?(I read the whole entry.) Well at least they don’t got to worry about people jumping off that damn bridge with the joy of RED VELVET FRIED CHICKEN around…

  22. Capricorn
    August 19, 2010 at 4:23 pm

    Best believe that lil shop got a LOT of phone calls asking if they ship. B/c they need to. Period.com

  23. designdiva
    August 19, 2010 at 4:56 pm

    hheeeyy! there aint no recipe when u click on the link! guess i’ll have to make it myself…

  24. August 24, 2010 at 7:55 pm

    playing catch up luvs…and I, um, well, I, uh, hmm, i mean….

    GOOD GOD!!! no, really he is a GOOD GOD for making that plate right thurrrr. i will be in San Fran soon and I will be airlifting this american cupcake place out. No more San Francisco treat, that bad boy is gonna be heading to NYC…thank you me later. (no need, we all know the tag on that last line)

    • August 25, 2010 at 2:11 am

      I need you to send some to Chicago. My inner fat girl thanks you.

  25. August 24, 2010 at 7:57 pm

    I’m sorry…i forgot to mention the CREAM CHEESE MASHED POTATOESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS…zzzzzzz (passed out)

    • August 25, 2010 at 2:07 am

      Gurl I had to ignore them mashed potatoes. My arteries were already closing in. But LAWD! They look delicious.

  26. August 26, 2010 at 8:33 am

    All it needs is a theme song for the commercial…
    [Ponders… Pauses. EUREKA!]
    “Yes!”
    (Even better if I can get a gospel choir to remake it…)

    http://new.music.yahoo.com/klymaxx/tracks/id-still-say-yes–1136421

  27. bogart4017
    August 27, 2010 at 2:19 pm

    I don’t know about this one….but then again i didnt think i would like fried oreos….

    • August 29, 2010 at 9:32 pm

      Fried oreos? Ew. But I ain’t judging you though.

  28. krocka
    September 3, 2010 at 2:33 pm

    did anyone ever try this?!

    • September 6, 2010 at 12:53 am

      I’m still waiting to find out! LAWD! If I lived in San Franciso!!!

  29. […] Red velvet fried chicken – YES LAWD!!! Hypertension be dambed! […]

  30. January 11, 2011 at 4:46 pm

    just 4 you luvvie! happy belated chrimmuhs/new years/hannakah/birthday

    http://www.examiner.com/budget-living-in-national/red-velvet-fried-chicken-recipe

    • April 19, 2011 at 9:35 pm

      Lawd Hammercy – I NEED this recipe in my life <3

  31. SanTara
    March 7, 2011 at 8:23 pm

    I had never heard of this before. The Four Seasons Hotel in Boston makes Red Velvet Pancakes and it’s a hit.

  32. April 19, 2011 at 9:33 pm

    My mouth is ACTUALLY watering while Im reading here *Homer Simpson Drool* Arteries be DAMNED!! I want some!!
    Not only was I hoping for a sniff via the interweb I was honestly hoping that if I wished hard enough some would appear in front of me 0_-

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  35. June 22, 2011 at 5:05 am

    […] all that is good, holy, sanctified and healthy is with that???And I’m the fool who wants to try Red Velvet Fried Chicken Food. Even I’ve got my limits. Besides, I’m limited to craving just ONE food that can pretty […]

  36. Evelyn
    February 3, 2012 at 12:31 pm

    My soul says yes, my cardiologist says no. Cardiologist wins.

  37. […] retire it. WUT? Who was the person who thought of this? Y’all were roasting me for wanting red velvet fried chicken (sharrap! that sounds delicious) but this takes the cake and the icing. Bacon wrapped around […]

  38. Shay
    November 20, 2012 at 5:20 pm

    Sooo did you try it yet???! ©,© I’ve lived i SF for 10yrs and never heard of such a thing :-/

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