Improper Music’s Proper Lyrics

Like a month back, I was clubbing with a friend for her birthday, and I admit that I’ve become a bit of a bore. I don’t dance until I can’t dance anymore when I go clubbing. What I do is sit down and people watch. This is fun for me. So I’m sitting there and then decided to start imagining if someone really proper sang these songs. So I started tweeting the proper version of the songs the DJ played. Below is the foolishness that ensued.

* Knucketh if thou bucketh. #ProperCrimeMob

* Refrainth from commencing sh*t and there shalst be an absence of sh*t.

* So I am on the outside of the clubbing establishment and methinks I’m a thug. I told those momboinkers. Never afraid am I. #ProperBonecrusher

* Oh let’s get it done. #ProperWaka

* My lady is un-good. My lady is unrefined. My lady does things that your lady has not nerve or capability to accomplish. #ProperLuda

* It’s your birthday celebration and I am aware that you’re parched. Open up your mouth and say “Aaaahhhh.” #ProperYupppp

* There are instances where I believe I’m Humongous Meech or Lawrence Hoover. Hard at employment. Praise the Lord. #ProperRawse

* I am going to get sexy and I will return it to its rightful place. Those other folks don’t know how to behave. #ProperJT

* She possesses jeans for those with apple bottoms. Boots with fur lining. Entire club turned their attention to her. Then she dropped to ground. #ProperTPain

* This is how we get it accomplished. Friday night is here. I feel pretty good. The shindig is happening on the westside. #ProperMontellJordan

* You can execute this. Just put some effort into it with your back. I can do it if I put my gluteus into it. But don’t cease. Do get it. #ProperLL

* It is getting quite steamy in this place so please get nude. I am indeed getting quite heated. I definitely want to undress. #ProperNelly

* 369. My goodness woman you are attractive! But get close to the ground. From the shutters to the wallpaper. Til sweat falls down my nethers. #ProperLilJon

* If I informed you once, I’ve repeated myself. I observe it in your iris. I’m out of tears. You oughta notice that your heart is mine #ProperKeisha

* The only thing I do is be victorious regardless of anything else. And when I enter the lounge, hands go up and remain up for a while. #ProperDJKhaled

* They observe me driving but send hate my way. They are attempting to catch me riding unclean. #ProperChamillionaire

* Daily, I work really hard. Whom do you believe you are trying to perturb? I’m the Chief Executive. #ProperRawse

* This is the reason I’m steamy. I’m steamy because I’m really dressed well while you’re the opposite. THIS is the reason why I’m steamy. #ProperMIMS

* Do a finger snap. Perform a jig. You are allowed to do it alone. Allow me to observe you do it and say “Ay!!!” #ProperLilJon

* New york, pothole streets where your dreams come true. Anything can happen here. You will feel newborn on these streets. #ProperAKeys

* I’m aware that you view me on video. I’m aware you listen to me on radio. Yet you refuse to pay attention to me. He’s a major player tho. #ProperLilCease

* I am not implying that she digs gold for a living. But I will say she doesn’t bother with fellows that lack funds. #ProperKanye

Then, members of my RATCHET Twitfam joined in and I was MURKED!

RT @veronicamarche: I would like to have intercourse with you in an ascending manner. #propercolormebadd

RT @mantoinedodson: I enjoy hearing you refer to me as gigantic father. Raise your hands boisterously if you are an authentic whore mongerer #ProperBiggie

RT @BeezHunny: Sucrose laden fantasies consist of this. What puts one in a position to say the contrary? #ProperEurhythmics

RT @naturallyalise Gyrate you gluteus maximus, but take a self inventory. Display what it is you have to work with. #ProperMystikal

RT @naturallyalise I apologize Ms. Jackson. I am absolutely being truthful. I had no intention of making your offspring shed tears. #ProperOutkast

RT @kiarri Satchel woman, you are going to cause spinal injury lugging around those rucksacks in such a manner. #ProperErykah

RT @NaturallyAlise: I am currently dealing with 99 difficulties and unruly whores are not currently on the list. #ProperJayZ

RT @faithspeaks: If you appear akin to a pimp, remove particles from your shoulders. Ladies are akin too, thus removing more particles. #ProperJayZ

RT @MisterMcFly: hideth thou kids, hideth thou wife, and thou must hideth thy husband as rape may occur upon thee #ProperAntoineDodson

Foolishness, thy name is ALL of us. Feel free to share your own proper lyrics. This made me cackle to no end.

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  1. Capricorn
    October 4, 2010 at 8:30 am — Reply

    Murked. Good Monday morning to you!!

  2. Kay
    October 4, 2010 at 9:02 am — Reply

    I hate you for this….*i cant breeve*

  3. NY2VA
    October 4, 2010 at 9:27 am — Reply

    This ish right here… FLAT FRICKIN LINED!!!!! I just came back from the worst meeting in the history of life. I was ready to off myself when I returned to my office, but I am removing the bullets from my pistol, as you have managed to off me with this post. I hangeth mine head and giveth up the ghost. #ProperNY2VA

  4. October 4, 2010 at 10:09 am — Reply

    You a fool for this one, but might I add…

    Oh, so you are affulent then? Your lavious I see? You display immaculate grooming of the hair and cuticles, while the entirely of your persona appears gargantuan #ProperDrakeFancy

    • October 4, 2010 at 11:06 am — Reply


    • Capricorn
      October 4, 2010 at 3:03 pm — Reply

      Murked AGAIN!! lol

  5. October 4, 2010 at 11:30 am — Reply

    OMG! The Mystical one had me dying in laughter. I cant….*smh*

  6. October 4, 2010 at 1:29 pm — Reply

    How many of you follow @english50cent on Twitter? He (she?) RTs Fiddy’s tweets, then writes them in the queen’s English. For example:

    @50cent Now this is to the Peta people: Stay off my motherfucking twitter page I don’t give a fuck! Lol

    @english50cent Once again… PETA are well intentioned but lack a sense of humour.

    I can’t with this

  7. MissMaryMack
    October 4, 2010 at 3:13 pm — Reply

    The height-challenged young lady has expressed that the African-American with which she is currently engaged is in fact NOT feces. #ProperWeezy

    • HighQuality08
      October 4, 2010 at 3:38 pm — Reply


    • Ms. Heaven
      October 5, 2010 at 8:16 am — Reply

      LMAO! Flatline, 9:14 a.m. Do not resuscitate. Just lemme die! I’d like to request Luvvie to sing some proper-style gospel at my funegro.

  8. HighQuality08
    October 4, 2010 at 3:43 pm — Reply

    They may articulate the content of their choosing. I shall act in the manner of my heart’s desire. No physical discomfort continues everlastingly. Yes, you are aware of this. #ProperRihannaHard

  9. NeicyRox
    October 4, 2010 at 6:26 pm — Reply

    iHate you, because you are so dumb. You are really dumb…forreal.

    lmao in class, trying to act like the professor is making me giggle. All kinds of fukcery and hoshit going down.

  10. October 4, 2010 at 6:55 pm — Reply

    This probably one of my most favoritetest (yup) hobbies!

    Here’s one:

    I lash my follicles in an alternating manner. #ProperWillow

    • October 5, 2010 at 9:50 pm — Reply

      *Bury me a G*

    • Capricorn
      October 7, 2010 at 12:31 pm — Reply

      IDIED!!! lol!!!

  11. Crownie
    October 4, 2010 at 7:46 pm — Reply


  12. Mel~
    October 4, 2010 at 8:35 pm — Reply

    I sway my head to and fro as to have my follicles move freely and joyfully atop my head #ProperWillow

    • Mel~
      October 4, 2010 at 8:40 pm — Reply

      Oh man. I was beaten to the punch. Apparently I don’t scroll through comments too well.

  13. October 5, 2010 at 9:37 am — Reply

    This was pretty [email protected] funny.

  14. paintgurl40
    October 5, 2010 at 12:29 pm — Reply

    I died @ ProperAntoineDodson!!!Yall made my day with this foolishness! Ok let me try…

    Young Maiden thou are beautiful, may I call upon thou?/Please do not appear bashful, thou would like very much to converse with thou maiden/ Thou maiden where for art thou is thou husband, Thy know thou is bethroed,why thou is simply too enchanting to be unmarried and unchaperoned in public. #ProperUsher

  15. October 5, 2010 at 2:40 pm — Reply

    #ProperAntoineDodson made me LOL and I work in a conference room with 4 other people. iCan’t.

  16. October 7, 2010 at 9:30 pm — Reply

    *DOA* on all of this fuckery!

    rotfl at * 369. My goodness woman you are attractive! But get close to the ground. From the shutters to the wallpaper. Til sweat falls down my nethers. #ProperLilJon holy tettas! girl you are out of your mind!!!

    Damn my stomach hurts from laughing so hard!!

    • October 13, 2010 at 6:47 pm — Reply

      LMAO! It was even SUPER dumb for me.

  17. miss cocoa luv
    October 7, 2010 at 9:50 pm — Reply

    I saw these the other night and I DIE!!!!

    RT @NaturallyAlise: I am currently dealing with 99 difficulties and unruly whores are not currently on the list. #ProperJayZ

    RT @faithspeaks: If you appear akin to a pimp, remove particles from your shoulders. Ladies are akin too, thus removing more particles. #ProperJayZ

    RT @MisterMcFly: hideth thou kids, hideth thou wife, and thou must hideth thy husband as rape may occur upon thee #ProperAntoineDodson

  18. Nana
    October 14, 2010 at 1:27 pm — Reply

    I was a bit behind in my reading and just read this. I had to shut my office door because I was laughing so hard I was crying. Loved it!

    • October 14, 2010 at 8:24 pm — Reply

      LOL! Well I’m glad you got to it. Don’t be getting fired though! lol

  19. Lexi
    October 18, 2010 at 6:45 pm — Reply

    lmao no m’am. I. CAN. NOT. BREATHE. LOL

    • October 18, 2010 at 8:10 pm — Reply

      *grabs resuscitating thingy* DON’T GO TOWARDS THE LIGHT!!!

  20. October 22, 2010 at 8:00 pm — Reply

    You are hilarious. Methinks I love your blog.

    • October 25, 2010 at 11:49 pm — Reply

      Methinks I love that you love my blog. Don’t be a stranger!

  21. black and bald is beautiful
    December 29, 2010 at 8:06 pm — Reply

    I LOVE the Ducreax memes.My favorites are “Disregard women,aquire currency.” and “I flagellate my tresses to & fro” along with “Facilitating employment for whorish women is always a difficult task”

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