Kanye West said “Runaway.” Do Just That.
Ok. So everyone and their mama have been talking about Kanye West’s short film “Runaway.” It was highly anticipated. People pissed their pants in suspense. It was just hyped. I didn’t give much of a damb though. Just because I figured I’d see it when I saw it. However, I did go into it with preconceived notions and expectations. I fully expected it to be a 35-minute ‘Ye ego stroke.
Anywho, the folks on Twitter pressured me into watching it last night and I did. And now I’m mad.
Before I go on, I’d like to say that I’m a Kanye West fan. His music goes hard. His flow is dope. I got all his CDs. Well, apart from 808s. Let’s act like that didn’t happen much. Anyway, moving on.
So I watched Kanye’s “Runaway” and my FIRST thought was “WHAT THE F*CK WAS THAT, ‘YE???” No really. WHAT. WAS. THAT??? Then I kicked every trashcan in my house. RUNAWAY was a Clusterf*ck! What made me angry? I lost 31 GOOD minutes of my life that I can never get back by watching that film. I don’t even understand how bad it was gonna be.
Yes it was colorful and crisp and all HD-fied. The visuals were interesting. And it starred Selita Ebank’s boobs. I’m sure the fellas (and some ladies) fully enjoyed that. I may or may not have been hating on her for the perfect boobage. But that’s neither here nor there. If you want to watch it, here it is below. Although I suggest you “runaway” from it. ZING! You didn’t expect me to NOT make that bad joke, didja?
HOWEVER… the “film” was just awful for me to watch. Here’s a synopsis:
First it starts with Kanye running really fast, like he’s at his high school relay race. I WAS impressed by his sprinting ability. I’ll give him THAT credit. Then I heard a voice that made me wanna jump into whatever fire was on the screen. It was Nicki Minaj’s. Figures. Then a really cool car drove down a deserted road. For some reason, I had the urge to go to a dealership and buy a car. GREAT commercial! Then there was a human bird on the floor after the nice car blew up. Kanye carried her away.
Selita E-Bird
This human bird was all dusty and seemed to be an extra from “Encino Man.” However, she was a HOT bird. Selita Ebanks makes wings and dust look segzy. And somehow, Kanye’s pounding on some production box with big buttons and the human bird starts to cluck dance. Like his music is so good, she (from just couldn’t help her little alien body but to juke awkwardly).
(O___o) – This was my exact look at this point.
They go to some festival thing with fireworks and a giant bust of Kang Miko’s head. Then some dinner happens with a bunch of nicely-dressed folks and ones goes “Do you know your girl is a bird?” Then Kanye delivered some flat line saying no he hadn’t noticed. Then some ballerinas come and perform for what seems to be FOREVER. Kanye stands on a piano and watches them.
(O_______O) – THAT is an extensive side-eye. I wanted it to end already.
So you just gon trade in Amber for a bird, 'Ye? Aight then...
And then one of the ballerinas has a long solo. And shit. And then the ballerinas go away. Then they bring food to the table. One of the platters has a dead bird on it, and the bird’s wings are the same color as Hot Human Alien Bird Selita’s and she starts to scream all loud. Everyone runs away from the table.
(O___O O___o -___-) – My eyes were BLEEDING at this point. But I kept on watching. For the greater good of Y’ALL. *deep sigh*
Kanye and Human Bird then have a heart-to-heart (she speaks English??? Did she know how to this whole time? So why was she just mute? Too many questions? Aight). And their convo’s all deep (I assume. My side-eye was so strong at this time that my face was all contorted and I couldn’t hear nothing over the shade I was throwing in my head). Then Kanye and Human Bird have Interspecies Southside Slippery Slide (Secks).
Ew.
Then Kanye starts to run again and Human Bird flies away in a fire while wearing a gold breastplate. Oh. Turns out Human Bird is a Phoenix. oh ok. The end.
Wait. WHAT???
Listen. I say LISTEN. I KNOW that I’m as shallow as a drool spot. I’m less deep than a bottle cap. I know this. But I’ll be gahtdambed if there was stuff to “get” in this film. It was PAINFUL to watch.
I’ma say it. I think Kanye is like that kid who has so many ideas in school and wants to direct the school play, but you know if you let him, he’d do the most and it’d last 4 hours. Well, the difference is he is still that kid. Except now he can do it himself since he has the money. And people are like “well he’s paying so…” *looks at Hype Williams*
I like Kanye. I does. But iRebuke that film in the name of Hitchcock’s slouchy cheeks. That 31 minutes (it’s 34 total but the last 3 minutes were credits and I ain’t watching that shit!) was the longest I’ve had in a long time.
Things I’d rather do with 31 minutes rather than watch “Runaway” again include:
- Count the grains of rice left in my bowl
- Paint my nails, smear them on purpose, and repaint them. Just because.
- Listen to Taylor Swift’s CD
- Count how many licks it takes to get to the center of the tootsie roll pop
It was that bad. TO ME. I may be alone in this. Maybe it’s because I’m a jerk sometimes. And shallow. And not a part of the Intellectuals. But all I saw with “Runaway” was Kanye looking handsome while showing he needs an acting coach. I also saw Selita Ebanks as a very alluring Human alien bird who can’t dance good (yes good). And a lotta nice colors on the screen. But I don’t have time (or patience) to decipher hidden messages and metaphors. I just don’t have time.
Seriously, what was the point? This vid was just “When keeping it real (different) goes wrong.”
Have y’all seen it? Was I the only one who thought it was bad?
P.S. Seems I’m not alone. Black Snob thought it was a “gorgeous hot mess.” And she actually caught the metaphors. She’s smart.
It is time to write that book. Come into The Book Academy and learn how to go from IDEA to INK.
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26 Comments
I Loveded it, don’t be so mean Oprah.
You totally summarized my thoughts about this mess.
When I saw all the tweets I was like there is no way I’m watching this mess. But I was pressurized into doing and I’m on vacay with nothing better to do so….yeah um, okay then.
My brow was EXTRA furrowed the whole time I watched it…clearly I am not smart enough to decipher all the deep metaphors and symbolism in Selita’s boobies.
And for the record, until homeboy said “did you know your girl is a bird?” I had no idea she was supposed to be a bird. Colour me dumb I guess.
Pure. Dramatic. Cunt. That is all.
Thank you for this. There’s no way I would’ve watched it on my own. You do it for the roast. You do it for your people.
Thank you! I had been saving it to watch when I had an extra 30 minutes. Thanks to your synopsis I will protect my time and do something else. Love Kanyeezie, but sometimes he is just too much.
This whole “Runaway” thing reminds me of a time in college were we had a discussion about this artist who used real life events as art. One of his pieces was a piece of spoiled meat that had flies, and maggots all over it. In a look of disgust, I was like that is not art. I could do that in my kitchen, hell it is probably happening on the side of the road right now. Anyhoot, one of my classmates disagreed, and explained what art meant to her. This led into a huge classroom discussion that ended with the class divided on the situation.
I said all this to say, Kanye West’s video is the spoiled piece of meat in the art gallery.
0_o wow
“Kanye West’s video is the spoiled piece of meat in the art gallery”
This is the best metaphor YET for this film. I say KUDOS!
“But iRebuke that film in the name of Hitchcock’s slouchy cheeks.”
I have no idea where that came from but it’s hilarious!
The “film” was colorful and I got the timing of the music to each scene. Even some of the people moved to some of the underlying beats.
I got what he was trying to “Say” but it was a bit ridiculous at times.
The Hitchcock thing was just my foolishness
“But all I saw with “Runaway” was Kanye looking handsome while showing he needs an acting coach.”
‘Zackly!! Loved the visuals but I dont want to have to think when I’m watching a music video/movie/whatever the hell that was.
Can I JUST enjoy it?
I mean I got most of the symbolism but I really didnt want to. lol I love ‘Ye with all my heart and like I said on twitter, he could tape a caterpillar inching up a leaf in slow motion for 30 minutes, but as long as he has one of his beats in the background, I’ll support him. I’d just rather him be deep and artistic in a way so that I dont have to actually ponder what the hell his point is. There is a way to be deep but still a little more obvious, and I think if you’re going to be a mainstream artist, you need to go that route.
I’m just curious. So are you saying you don’t like to think when watching television?
“he could tape a caterpillar inching up a leaf in slow motion for 30 minutes, but as long as he has one of his beats in the background, I’ll support him”
That may have been better use of money and time than this. I’m just saying…
maybe it’s the dancer in me, but i loved the ballerina part! their legs were BEAST! it’s almost enough to inspire me to work out.
Everything else was pure comedy to me. I could not stop laughing like…is dude for real? michael jackson bobble head? lady bird just screaming like a lunatic? the awful dialogue “but i have to burn”<—what? it was too much for me to take it seriously. maybe he wanted people to laugh? idk…i'd watch it again…
I’ll DEF give you that. Those dancer’s legs were mesmerizing. I was like WELL DAMB! But yes… everything else was laughable. But I was too irritated to laugh. Oh Kanye…
Thanks for watching it for me…When I heard it was 35mns long, I just couldn’t with him…I can’t give Kanye 35mns of my life, ever!
Don’t do it, Miss Celie! Them 35 precious minutes of ur life can’t be taken back.
LOL, thank you so much for this post… totally hilarious. i had a friend that pretty much said the same that you did… she wanted her 30 mins. of life back! i really want to watch it, i really do… i even tried yesterday… got thru the 1st 5 mins., i think… but, i kept looking down @ the time remaining like, “i really have to sit thru this for another 20-something mins.!?” i want to watch it for the sake of “being in the know,” i suppose… but, maybe i should save my 30 mins. for counting grains of rice, counting tootsie-pop licks, watching paint dry, & other more important/fun activities!
Yeah I was doing a countdown while watching this. That was how painful it was for me. There are more important things to do. Like count how many nail polish bottles I have.
Yeah, “Runaway” was basically a student film with a nice-sized budget. It had its moment that I thought were dope cinematography wise but other than that, I’ll pass.
MMHMM!!! That’s what I thought too. Great visuals. Everything else? NAW!
I publicly stated that I couldn’t afford to waste 34 minutes of my life on Ye’s foolywang. A friend offered to pay me a few pennies to watch it just to see my reaction. Like a fool, I watched it. I feel so used. She enjoyed my reactions. I didn’t get any of the symbolism. Not a single bit of it. Stick to making music Ye. Make another movie & iQuitchu.
If every single bit of dialogue was wiped away from the film, I woulda thought it was perfect. The visuals were fantastic! Oh, and Kanye singing the chorus to Runaway? They could kept that too. By “kept that”, I mean “replace him with a singer.”
LMAOOOO!!! Cheekie, you stoopid. And by stoopid, I mean ratchetly wise.
Things I’d rather do with 31 minutes rather than watch “Runaway” again include:
Count the grains of rice left in my bowl
Paint my nails, smear them on purpose, and repaint them. Just because.
Listen to Taylor Swift’s CD
Count how many licks it takes to get to the center of the tootsie roll pop
Apparently, you prefer to do dumb-minded things with your life contrary to the creators of this film.
I already wasted enuff time with that 808 and heartbreaks crap (worse crap i’ve heard since R. Kelly’s last fiasco). I ain’t got enough time left to waste on this bad lsd trip