There are times that real life is WAYYYY funnier than anything any of us could write in satire. This is one of those times.
I’d like you to meet Jimmy McMillan, who is running for Governor of New York on the “Rent is too damn high” platform. Everything else doesn’t matter. ALL of society’s problems is because, well rent is TOO DAMB HIGH!!! And as GOVERNOR, Jimmy is gon’ fix this societal problem. He wants you to know that and vote for him when you go to the polls on Nov. 2, 2010.
Ok, somebody needs to get their granddaddeh. You know he was sitting on his couch one day in his favorite shorts and tank top while watching TV (probably Price is Right). Him and Aunty Elnora were just talking as she knitted when he went…
Jimmy: “Elnora. Lemme tell you something. You know we having all these isshas?!? Shit. It’s because the rent is TOO DAMB HIGH!!!”
Elnora: Jimmay, you right. This rent ain’t doing nothing but going up!
Jimmy: That is what I’m SAYING! They got these young whippa snappas in office. They’ont know what we been through. Then they jack up the rent.
Elnora: It just ain’t right, Jimmy. *continues to crochet*
Jimmy: “Why are there no jobs?!? Because THE RENT IS TOO DAMB HIGH?!? Can’t you see that? For crying out loud! I’ma DO something bout it!
Then the next day, Uncle Jimmy decided he was about to run for Governor. I BET y’all that’s what happened! I BETCHU! And who gon stop him? He’s a Vietnam vet with all these honors. And he’s old. You know you can’t tell old folks what to do. Or say.
So then, he called up his son who went to Everest College Computer Science program and graduated in 1997 and asked for a website. And this is what he ended up with:
How awful is this website? Let me count the ways…
Could it be that EVERY element of BAD web design is present here?
Maybe it’s the prominent Comic Sans font that is the header. Since nothing on this site is MEANT to be comical, this isn’t appropriate. Although the site IS comedy so maybe it works afterall. I see what they did there.
Sidenote: Friends don’t let friends use Comic Sans on their sites unless they write… wait for it… COMICS. Pass it on. But read this monologue on Comic Sans MS. HILARIOUS!!!
Then there’s the fact that there are no less than FIVE font colors here. And when you go to the actual site, they spin and rotate.
And while perusing the site, you’re subjected to Jimmy’s old man ranting of how the rent it too high! You can’t turn it off! If you wanna find out what he’s about, well you also gotta listen to him.
Jimmy’s website is the Kat Stacks of websites. Upon contact, you immediately have to administer antibiotics on your computer. eHerpes galore. It WILL crash your computer if it ain’t strong enough. Oh, and make sure to check out the official Rent is too damn high website. Yes, it also looks like it was built on Geocities in 1995.
“I can’t take this no more! I’mo just get my stuff.” – Jimmy Mac
Maybe Jimmy would be able to get a better website (from someone like me) if the rent wasn’t SO DAMB HIGH! So vote for Uncle Granddaddeh Jimmy. So your rent won’t be so high, New Yorkers. It;s YOUR choice. Vote for Jimmy or suffer from high rent. Whatchu gon do? (-__-).
P.S. Check out Jimmy speaking at the NY Governor debates. This is PURE comedy. I LOVE old folks!
P.P.S. His moustache and heard are 2 legit 2 quit.
P.P.P.S. The Rent is TOO damn high!