Vote for Jimmy McMillan Cuz the Rent is Too Damn High!

[ 43 ] October 19, 2010 |

There are times that real life is WAYYYY funnier than anything any of us could write in satire. This is one of those times.

Jimmy McMillan Rent is Too Damn High

I’d like you to meet Jimmy McMillan, who is running for Governor of New York on the “Rent is too damn high” platform. Everything else doesn’t matter. ALL of society’s problems is because, well rent is TOO DAMB HIGH!!! And as GOVERNOR, Jimmy is gon’ fix this societal problem. He wants you to know that and vote for him when you go to the polls on Nov. 2, 2010.

Ok, somebody needs to get their granddaddeh. You know he was sitting on his couch one day in his favorite shorts and tank top while watching TV (probably Price is Right). Him and Aunty Elnora were just talking as she knitted when he went…

Jimmy: “Elnora. Lemme tell you something. You know we having all these isshas?!? Shit. It’s because the rent is TOO DAMB HIGH!!!”
Elnora: Jimmay, you right. This rent ain’t doing nothing but going up!
Jimmy: That is what I’m SAYING! They got these young whippa snappas in office. They’ont know what we been through. Then they jack up the rent.
Elnora: It just ain’t right, Jimmy. *continues to crochet*
Jimmy: “Why are there no jobs?!? Because THE RENT IS TOO DAMB HIGH?!? Can’t you see that? For crying out loud! I’ma DO something bout it!

Then the next day, Uncle Jimmy decided he was about to run for Governor. I BET y’all that’s what happened! I BETCHU! And who gon stop him? He’s a Vietnam vet with all these honors. And he’s old. You know you can’t tell old folks what to do. Or say.

So then, he called up his son who went to Everest College Computer Science program and graduated in 1997 and asked for a website. And this is what he ended up with:

JimmyMcMillan Rent is Too Damn High

Ladies and gentlemen, I present you with www.jimmymcmillan.org. Getchu a piece!

How awful is this website? Let me count the ways…

Could it be that EVERY element of BAD web design is present here?

Maybe it’s the prominent Comic Sans font that is the header. Since nothing on this site is MEANT to be comical, this isn’t appropriate. Although the site IS comedy so maybe it works afterall. I see what they did there.

Sidenote: Friends don’t let friends use Comic Sans on their sites unless they write… wait for it… COMICS. Pass it on. But read this monologue on Comic Sans MS. HILARIOUS!!!

Then there’s the fact that there are no less than FIVE font colors here. And when you go to the actual site, they spin and rotate.

And while perusing the site, you’re subjected to Jimmy’s old man ranting of how the rent it too high! You can’t turn it off! If you wanna find out what he’s about, well you also gotta listen to him.

Oh Jimmy…

Jimmy’s website is the Kat Stacks of websites. Upon contact, you immediately have to administer antibiotics on your computer. eHerpes galore. It WILL crash your computer if it ain’t strong enough. Oh, and make sure to check out the official Rent is too damn high website. Yes, it also looks like it was built on Geocities in 1995.

“I can’t take this no more! I’mo just get my stuff.” – Jimmy Mac

Maybe Jimmy would be able to get a better website (from someone like me) if the rent wasn’t SO DAMB HIGH! So vote for Uncle Granddaddeh Jimmy. So your rent won’t be so high, New Yorkers.  It;s YOUR choice. Vote for Jimmy or suffer from high rent. Whatchu gon do? (-__-).

P.S. Check out Jimmy speaking at the NY Governor debates. This is PURE comedy. I LOVE old folks!

P.P.S. His moustache and heard are 2 legit 2 quit.

P.P.P.S. The Rent is TOO damn high!

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Comments (43)

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  1. K to the... says:

    So then, he called up his son who went to Everest College Computer Science program and asked for a website.

    LMAO! I saw folk tweeting about this last night, but I thought it was a song or som’n on youtube. Naw…this is real life. His website looks like a damn BlackPlanet page!

  2. Mrscamp says:

    I am done with you and this ratchet world we live in. Please say nice things at my homegoing service and have red-velvet chicken at my repast.

  3. Roxy says:

    I say you offer your services to Candidate McMillan and soon, assorted (questionable)politicians will pay for your services.

  4. Mel~ says:

    Being from NYC originally, this is a platform I can get behind! The rent is outrageous. Let’em know Jimmy!

    But Heaven help him if he doesn’t have the most RANDOM things on his website. Like a “foot map”? What we need that fo’ Jimmy? The rent is STILL high regardless of the pressure points in my foot.

    And judging by NY last governers, Uncle Jim-Jam is just messy enough to fit right in.

  5. Luvologist says:

    I ♥♥♥ U, Luvvie. You made me smile today. As you do every day. If I lived in NY I’d vote for him.

    ((cricket sounds))

    SIDENOTE: His site is in need of an EXTREME overhaul. Geez…

  6. Ms. Heaven says:

    We’ve been roasting this foolywang since last night. This fool said “in the rent is too damn high party, if you wanna marry yo shoe, i’ll marry you to yo shoe!” Where dey do dat at Jimmy, where dey do dat at?
    *side note, I will be purchasing a Rent Is 2 Damn High t-shirt! I know, I ain’t isht!*

  7. So Flyy says:

    Lmfao. There are a lot of ignant folks in the world… and many of them live in NYC. If we can Marion Berry in office twice, then Jimmy ain’t gon have no problems.

    #IgnantFolksUnite

  8. SweetTee says:

    BLESS.HIS.HEART!

    As a New Yorker, I am no stranger to him. He actually tried to run for mayor of New York. I’m surprised he did not get a stronger following because errbody (did I phonetically spell that right?) I know, regardless of race, class and social economic status can relate that the RENT IS TOO DAMB HIGH!

    His party name alone should have had him win on a landslide….

  9. Mrs.Tiye says:

    I just KNEW he wasn’t serious…then I saw the debate video on FB this morning and promptly died. The crazy thing is that he’s got a good point, but nobody will ever see it underneath that ignorantly-blatant campaign party, or that over-populated website and the song played therein, and even if they got past all that…the Colonel Sanders facial hair and mullet would end it all.

    Gawd bless him. He does mean well.

  10. NY2VA says:

    I’m supposed to be in the bathroom bathing my baby, but instead I’m out here on my couch messing with you and Uncah Grandaddeh. Lawd ha’mercy that was to damn funny. I’ma get me a shirt too and rock it on Election Day. I don’t live in NY anymore, so I should be able to do so without being asked to leave my polling place for campaigning.

    EFF YO RENT, NUCKA!!! VOTE FOR UNCAH GRANDADDEH!!

  11. I don’t live in New York, but I FULLY endorse Jimmy McMillan. THE RENT IS TOO D@MN HIGH! This is a real issue! How is he getting clowned when candidate Gay Grinding McNoHomo is a real candidate? #TeamJimmy #TheRentIsTooDamnHigh

  12. Capricorn says:

    No. Words.

    bwhahahahaaaa!!!

  13. Chantel says:

    I can’t. Everest College? 1997? I can’t….

  14. He is already 10 times better than Governor Paterson! Just Sayin! :)

  15. DivaKattGurl says:

    OMG I want a shirt too!!! I am scared to go onto his website for fear it will crash my laptop!

    rotfl yall crazy as hell…. I don’t know who I am voting for for shits and giggles maybe I will vote for Jimmay… I think he looks like a black hulk hogan!!!

    The Rent Is Too Damn High!

  16. bogart4017 says:

    He’s practically a sex symbol around my way!

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