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Vote for Jimmy McMillan Cuz the Rent is Too Damn High!

There are times that real life is WAYYYY funnier than anything any of us could write in satire. This is one of those times.

Jimmy McMillan Rent is Too Damn High

I’d like you to meet Jimmy McMillan, who is running for Governor of New York on the “Rent is too damn high” platform. Everything else doesn’t matter. ALL of society’s problems is because, well rent is TOO DAMB HIGH!!! And as GOVERNOR, Jimmy is gon’ fix this societal problem. He wants you to know that and vote for him when you go to the polls on Nov. 2, 2010.

Ok, somebody needs to get their granddaddeh. You know he was sitting on his couch one day in his favorite shorts and tank top while watching TV (probably Price is Right). Him and Aunty Elnora were just talking as she knitted when he went…

Jimmy: “Elnora. Lemme tell you something. You know we having all these isshas?!? Shit. It’s because the rent is TOO DAMB HIGH!!!”
Elnora: Jimmay, you right. This rent ain’t doing nothing but going up!
Jimmy: That is what I’m SAYING! They got these young whippa snappas in office. They’ont know what we been through. Then they jack up the rent.
Elnora: It just ain’t right, Jimmy. *continues to crochet*
Jimmy: “Why are there no jobs?!? Because THE RENT IS TOO DAMB HIGH?!? Can’t you see that? For crying out loud! I’ma DO something bout it!

Then the next day, Uncle Jimmy decided he was about to run for Governor. I BET y’all that’s what happened! I BETCHU! And who gon stop him? He’s a Vietnam vet with all these honors. And he’s old. You know you can’t tell old folks what to do. Or say.

So then, he called up his son who went to Everest College Computer Science program and graduated in 1997 and asked for a website. And this is what he ended up with:

JimmyMcMillan Rent is Too Damn High

Ladies and gentlemen, I present you with www.jimmymcmillan.org. Getchu a piece!

How awful is this website? Let me count the ways…

Could it be that EVERY element of BAD web design is present here?

Maybe it’s the prominent Comic Sans font that is the header. Since nothing on this site is MEANT to be comical, this isn’t appropriate. Although the site IS comedy so maybe it works afterall. I see what they did there.

Sidenote: Friends don’t let friends use Comic Sans on their sites unless they write… wait for it… COMICS. Pass it on. But read this monologue on Comic Sans MS. HILARIOUS!!!

Then there’s the fact that there are no less than FIVE font colors here. And when you go to the actual site, they spin and rotate.

And while perusing the site, you’re subjected to Jimmy’s old man ranting of how the rent it too high! You can’t turn it off! If you wanna find out what he’s about, well you also gotta listen to him.

Oh Jimmy…

Jimmy’s website is the Kat Stacks of websites. Upon contact, you immediately have to administer antibiotics on your computer. eHerpes galore. It WILL crash your computer if it ain’t strong enough. Oh, and make sure to check out the official Rent is too damn high website. Yes, it also looks like it was built on Geocities in 1995.

“I can’t take this no more! I’mo just get my stuff.” – Jimmy Mac

Maybe Jimmy would be able to get a better website (from someone like me) if the rent wasn’t SO DAMB HIGH! So vote for Uncle Granddaddeh Jimmy. So your rent won’t be so high, New Yorkers.  It;s YOUR choice. Vote for Jimmy or suffer from high rent. Whatchu gon do? (-__-).

P.S. Check out Jimmy speaking at the NY Governor debates. This is PURE comedy. I LOVE old folks!

P.P.S. His moustache and heard are 2 legit 2 quit.

P.P.P.S. The Rent is TOO damn high!

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43 Comments

  1. October 19, 2010 at 1:00 pm — Reply

    So then, he called up his son who went to Everest College Computer Science program and asked for a website.

    LMAO! I saw folk tweeting about this last night, but I thought it was a song or som’n on youtube. Naw…this is real life. His website looks like a damn BlackPlanet page!

    • October 20, 2010 at 12:36 am — Reply

      His site looks like if BlackPlanet, MySpace and Geocities got together and had an even uglier baby. It’s just all sorts of wrong.

  2. Mrscamp
    October 19, 2010 at 1:01 pm — Reply

    I am done with you and this ratchet world we live in. Please say nice things at my homegoing service and have red-velvet chicken at my repast.

    • krocka
      October 19, 2010 at 2:27 pm — Reply

      coming to your services just for the chicken…

      • October 20, 2010 at 12:42 am — Reply

        Gon be in the service talmbout “Hurry up! The chicken’s getting cold!” *smh*

    • MsMelissa!
      October 19, 2010 at 2:52 pm — Reply

      I too shall be there with a ziplock baggie to put extra red velvet chicken and rolls in for my trip home.

      • October 20, 2010 at 12:39 am — Reply

        I tell you bout Black folks. Be TOO ready with tupperware to take food hone

    • NY2VA
      October 19, 2010 at 6:37 pm — Reply

      My soul says YES!!! (Shout out to Luvvie)

      • October 20, 2010 at 12:32 am — Reply

        Word. Life.

    • October 20, 2010 at 12:34 am — Reply

      I’ll give a NICE eulogy at ur funegro. And I can place an order for red velvet fried chicken. Your repast gon be classy. We’ll drink wine from a box too. OWWW!!!

  3. Roxy
    October 19, 2010 at 1:03 pm — Reply

    I say you offer your services to Candidate McMillan and soon, assorted (questionable)politicians will pay for your services.

    • October 20, 2010 at 12:35 am — Reply

      Lawdt! U gon get me known as the designer janky politicians should go to.

  4. Mel~
    October 19, 2010 at 1:10 pm — Reply

    Being from NYC originally, this is a platform I can get behind! The rent is outrageous. Let’em know Jimmy!

    But Heaven help him if he doesn’t have the most RANDOM things on his website. Like a “foot map”? What we need that fo’ Jimmy? The rent is STILL high regardless of the pressure points in my foot.

    And judging by NY last governers, Uncle Jim-Jam is just messy enough to fit right in.

    • Mel~
      October 19, 2010 at 1:11 pm — Reply

      Forgive me I meant “Governors”. Shoot tell him to fix NYC schools while he at it!

    • October 20, 2010 at 12:35 am — Reply

      A FOOT map? Jimmy Mac and that website. Betchu he got a pac man game hidden in there somewhere.

  5. October 19, 2010 at 1:16 pm — Reply

    I ♥♥♥ U, Luvvie. You made me smile today. As you do every day. If I lived in NY I’d vote for him.

    ((cricket sounds))

    SIDENOTE: His site is in need of an EXTREME overhaul. Geez…

    • October 20, 2010 at 12:43 am — Reply

      LUVOLOGIST! I heart you back!

      That site needs more than an overhaul. It needs to be thrown out. And then we act like it never existed.

  6. Ms. Heaven
    October 19, 2010 at 1:41 pm — Reply

    We’ve been roasting this foolywang since last night. This fool said “in the rent is too damn high party, if you wanna marry yo shoe, i’ll marry you to yo shoe!” Where dey do dat at Jimmy, where dey do dat at?
    *side note, I will be purchasing a Rent Is 2 Damn High t-shirt! I know, I ain’t isht!*

    • krocka
      October 19, 2010 at 2:33 pm — Reply

      so, he’s for rent control and all types of marriage…he needs to come to chicago. our politics are already a circus. he’d fit right in.

      • October 20, 2010 at 12:41 am — Reply

        Our politics are less of a circus, more of a mob thing. Jimmy would have to start wearing pinstripe suits. And combing his hair back.

    • October 20, 2010 at 12:42 am — Reply

      Umm… I might cop me a shirt too. So I can’t e’em judge you.

  7. October 19, 2010 at 2:38 pm — Reply

    Lmfao. There are a lot of ignant folks in the world… and many of them live in NYC. If we can Marion Berry in office twice, then Jimmy ain’t gon have no problems.

    #IgnantFolksUnite

    • October 20, 2010 at 12:40 am — Reply

      VOTE FOR JIMMAY MAC!

  8. SweetTee
    October 19, 2010 at 3:10 pm — Reply

    BLESS.HIS.HEART!

    As a New Yorker, I am no stranger to him. He actually tried to run for mayor of New York. I’m surprised he did not get a stronger following because errbody (did I phonetically spell that right?) I know, regardless of race, class and social economic status can relate that the RENT IS TOO DAMB HIGH!

    His party name alone should have had him win on a landslide….

    • October 20, 2010 at 12:39 am — Reply

      Jimmy Mac ran for mayor??? New York politics is awesome, it seems. You guys get all the fun! lol

  9. October 19, 2010 at 3:26 pm — Reply

    I just KNEW he wasn’t serious…then I saw the debate video on FB this morning and promptly died. The crazy thing is that he’s got a good point, but nobody will ever see it underneath that ignorantly-blatant campaign party, or that over-populated website and the song played therein, and even if they got past all that…the Colonel Sanders facial hair and mullet would end it all.

    Gawd bless him. He does mean well.

    • Mrs.Tiye
      October 19, 2010 at 3:29 pm — Reply

      OH and did you see the Incredible Hulk pic where he talks about being mad that they took DAMN out of his slogan ads? I had to get an asthma pump for my asthma pump.

      • October 20, 2010 at 12:33 am — Reply

        LMAOOO @ u getting an asthma pump for your asthma pump. No I didn’t see that. I need to go find it.

    • October 20, 2010 at 12:39 am — Reply

      His Colonel Sanders facial hair and mullet are the most awesome things about him.

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  11. NY2VA
    October 19, 2010 at 6:42 pm — Reply

    I’m supposed to be in the bathroom bathing my baby, but instead I’m out here on my couch messing with you and Uncah Grandaddeh. Lawd ha’mercy that was to damn funny. I’ma get me a shirt too and rock it on Election Day. I don’t live in NY anymore, so I should be able to do so without being asked to leave my polling place for campaigning.

    EFF YO RENT, NUCKA!!! VOTE FOR UNCAH GRANDADDEH!!

    • October 20, 2010 at 12:32 am — Reply

      LAWDT!! I’m keeping u from the babies! My ratchetness is just that strong? But YESSS @ Uncah Grandaddeh! Just YESSSS!!!

    • Ms. Heaven
      October 20, 2010 at 7:52 am — Reply

      *dead* @ Eff Yo Rent Nucka! LMAO!!!!!

  12. October 19, 2010 at 9:55 pm — Reply

    I don’t live in New York, but I FULLY endorse Jimmy McMillan. THE RENT IS TOO D@MN HIGH! This is a real issue! How is he getting clowned when candidate Gay Grinding McNoHomo is a real candidate? #TeamJimmy #TheRentIsTooDamnHigh

    • October 20, 2010 at 12:28 am — Reply

      Right! I’m in Illinois and I stand firmly behind Jimmy Mac.

  13. Capricorn
    October 20, 2010 at 8:08 am — Reply

    No. Words.

    bwhahahahaaaa!!!

    • October 27, 2010 at 10:49 pm — Reply

      Your avatar is sooooo cute! I love the lil brown birdies!!!

  14. Chantel
    October 22, 2010 at 10:37 pm — Reply

    I can’t. Everest College? 1997? I can’t….

  15. October 23, 2010 at 7:53 am — Reply

    He is already 10 times better than Governor Paterson! Just Sayin! :)

  16. October 27, 2010 at 10:57 pm — Reply

    OMG I want a shirt too!!! I am scared to go onto his website for fear it will crash my laptop!

    rotfl yall crazy as hell…. I don’t know who I am voting for for shits and giggles maybe I will vote for Jimmay… I think he looks like a black hulk hogan!!!

    The Rent Is Too Damn High!

    • October 28, 2010 at 10:30 pm — Reply

      Yeah that site might give ur comp eVeeDee.

  17. bogart4017
    November 8, 2010 at 1:46 pm — Reply

    He’s practically a sex symbol around my way!

    • November 11, 2010 at 12:43 am — Reply

      LMAO!!! I can only imagine. Jimmy Mac got folks SPRUNG!

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