Four Seasons of Angst and Linen

[ 24 ] November 17, 2010 |

So y’all know me and Kindred love a good roast. A coupla weeks ago, we were in the mood to listen to some douchebaggery music (note: we call ultra sappy songs douchebag music because you can just picture some douche on YouTube playing it on an acoustic guitar. We LOVE douchebag music).

We decided to watch Boyz II Men’s “4 Seasons of Loneliness” vidjo, and this is what ensued on GChat.

Luvvie: You see that linen! and the all white. and the breeze

Kindred: they were some classy folks

Luvvie: and the flash of light. Is this heaven???

Kindred: I see you by the vent, shawn. heyyy OWW OWW

Luvvie: shawn’s shirt is blowing JUST right

Kindred: lmao where the hell they at?

Luvvie: see them in a room lookin like the 4 archangels

Kindred: inside and outside?!

Luvvie: hahaha @ wanya sittin on the floor indian style

Kindred: why he still need glasses? ain’t NO sun

Luvvie: this HAS to be heaven. all them clouds and swaying clothes

Kindred: look at that mist, g. they too emollient. EEEE they in the future!

Luvvie: lmaooooo at the season transition

Kindred: spaceship R&B

Luvvie: bwaahahah he’s sittin on yulelog

Kindred: LMAO

Luvvie: indian style. they’re so vulnerable.

Kindred: they ain’t change nothing but the colors of they linens

Luvvie: the tweenager in me jus swooned

Kindred: look at them SKI GOGGLES

Luvvie: they STILL rocking linen in winter and sh*t. and using one extra button on they shirts

Kindred: bam! they in space on yo ass

Luvvie: they are SO open and vulnerable

Kindred: green screen game proper

Luvvie: see them leaves fall like their emotional walls?

Kindred: is that a geisha in the forest?

Luvvie: she wrote her memoirs right under that tree

Kindred: maroon linens. lmao a DOVE

Luvvie: hahahaha omg and the scenes come outta wanya’s eye?

Kindred: eeeee they just flew out his EYE g

Luvvie: GOMH! (get outta my head)

Kindred: bwhhahahahaa lmao EPIC. how come i never noticed this?!

Luvvie: this ish is soooo gahtdamn angsty and emotional

Kindred: was this ok in the 90s?

Luvvie: i cried and i wasnt even sad. tears jus came from my eyes

Kindred: is that what we was on?

Luvvie: yes. yes it was. the 90s wasn’t shit for this. how did we approve of this cheesyness??

Kindred: i’m ashamed to tell people this was my fav music scene. now, i’ll have to pretend to say it ironically

Luvvie: their linen game was TIGHT tho! just flowing w/ every movement of their hearts. i think the flow matched their heart beats

Kindred: it was TIMED

Luvvie: it WAS. and they showed just the right about of chesticles

Kindred: where’s Pop up Video when you need them? i wanna know bout them breezes

Luvvie: not too much. just a taste. Pop up video: “17 fans were used during this shoot to get the wind velocity JUST right”

Kindred: “48 Air Conditioners were tested before the group found one they could all agree upon”

Luvvie: “Wanya practiced the perfect indian style sitting pose for a week before the shoot. he may have crushed his scrotum in the time, but he is just THAT dedicated.”

“shawn personally picked out his favorite yulelog in the forest ‘fo he sat on it. it felt right. he knew THAT was the one”

Kindred: “The Linen in the ‘Fall’ Season was actually knitted by Shawn’s hairdresser at the time”

Luvvie: lmaooo!! “the boyz asked a psychic what heaven was like and tried to recreate it w/ this video. she told them they succeeded.”

Kindred: “The snow in the ‘Winter’ season is actually baking powder and yeast. When the shoot was over, the director’s wife made Four Seasons Matzoh balls from the leftovers”

Luvvie: bwahahahaaha “after this shoot, the boyz demanded they be referred to as matthew, mark, luke & john”

Kindred: BWHAHAHHAHA “The Geisha in the forest during the ‘Fall’ season was actually the producer’s niece. The original choice suffered from an allergic reaction to the 100% Egyptian Yak of the Boyz’ linens”

Luvvie: bwahahahahahahahahahah oh nooooooo “the iceberg that wanya & his super goggles were on was an extra from the movie “titanic.” it melted from the heat pulsating from wanya’s emotions. people were sad.”

Kindred: lmao @ super goggles and raw emotion “The couch used in the opening scene is actually from Shawn’s personal collection. It can be purchased from Value City for $899.”

Luvvie: Nope. I heard he got that couch from IKEA and its named “Heidi”. $399 if you choose to put it together yourself but I aint the one to gossip so you ain’t heard that from me.

Kindred: LMAO you know Ikea ain’t got no simple names. Heidi no? Plufjrtstagen? Prolly

Luvvie: yeah they do. i own their bookcase named “Billy”

Kindred: that’s an EXCEPTION

Luvvie: and they got a chair named “chloe”

Kindred: everybody got Billy

Luvvie: they are partial to dutch names lol

Kindred: we might even have Billy in the office *looks around*

Luvvie: and maybe the couch’s last name heighhbfug

Kindred: Billl-ayyyy lmao ikea the only place where a piece of furniture got a first AND last name

Luvvie: *sigh* i love ikea. it’s an adult’s playground

Kindred: it IS. have you seen their latest catalog? Lovely. omg talk about digressing

Luvvie: i HAVE. i love it sooo much. all them goodies

Kindred: short attention span FTW

Luvvie: btw, i aint see spring in they 4 seasons. did spring miss the casting call?

Kindred: we were BAMBOOZLED

Luvvie: spring was late and shit

Kindred: they spent all of the monies on geishas and goggles

Luvvie: and winter was like “whatever. i’ll do his part”

Kindred: winter did have major play

Luvvie: mayb the 4 seasons were winter, summer, fall and space *shrugs*

Kindred: mmhmm or, there’s no spring in heaven. just fans and air conditioning

Luvvie: hmm… *strokes chin* you just may be right

Kindred: and EMOTION

Luvvie: yes! heaven is FULL of emotion. and it has you vulnerable. and the only attire allowed is linen. Heaven is the caribbeans!!!

Kindred: *hugs self*

Luvvie: *dead* *sits indian style on office floor*

The 90s. *shakes my head*

It is clear that we lack any types of sense. And attention span for our Ikea sidebar. Foolishness. But for real though. How many people are lowkey embarrassed that they used to fall out at this video?

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Comments (24)

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  1. Eve~ says:

    “winter, summer, fall and space” LMAO! Y’all are too much!

    I watched this video on mute, for no particular reason. It’s even MORE ridiculous that way, if you can believe it.

    And when Wanya is sitting on that couch in the beginning, are his feet not touching the floor? Are they barely skimming it? Either way, nothing says angst and raw emotion like dangling feet – but that is just my opinion anyway.

  2. meka says:

    That convo was so outrageous! Especially their new names Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.

    Oh…and I promise to use “emollient” in a sentence today. In fact, I’ma use it in the wrong context and tell my secretary to get all emollient and send this letter out.

  3. KindredSmile says:

    ROFL I still stand by my original comments. I think it’s time to do another roast. Will email you with suggestions *cough*702*cough*.

  4. Capricorn says:

    Why did I have to stop reading after I read “emollient”??


    Ooooh, weee, I needed this laugh today.

  5. Tiffany says:

    Good Lordy fiddy, we use watch this video over and over and over again. A girl use to swoon, I tell ya SWOON!

    Peace, Love and Chocolate

    • Luvvie says:

      We did swoon. Now I’m lowkey embarrassed. lol

      • blackpepper says:

        Yeah I don’t know why I loved that song, yet I would feel a wave of sadness creep on me.. I didn’t even chance it today.. Its probably why I know longer like it.. Im in a cool mood right now, so I am not ready for doom and gloom.. Yall’s commentary was entertainment enough because I could picture it all!

  6. Nono says:

    “Luvvie: see them leaves fall like their emotional walls?

    Kindred: is that a geisha in the forest?”

    *comes to a dead stop* Ion’t like y’all no more! iCried…

    *keeps reading*

  7. Nono says:

    One more thing.

    The both of y’all should be charged for reckless soul endangerment for the Pop-Up video comments.


  8. @BigKrisnLA says:

    Ohhhhh myyyy gooood! Girrrrrl, ya’ll just bout killed me. I am seriously over here wiping tears. Good grief. That was good. Now let me go on and forward this link. Bye.

  9. MochaMartha says:

    BWHAAAAAAAA! *sitting indian style on the floor wiping tears from my eyes*

  10. bogart4017 says:

    GEt them girls a talk show yawll!

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