Spades is Not A Game. Spades is LIFE.
So I was on Twitter last night, and Miss Jia was talmbout how she wants to play Spades, but since people know she doesn’t really know how, they won’t let her play with them. At which I had to let her know that if she can’t play spades, she best not try it before she ends valuable friendships. People lose cousins, shoes, couth, husbands, wives over Spades. Why? Because Spades is NOT a game! It’s LIFE!
For those people who don’t know what Spades is I’m judging you, it’s a card game that’s pretty much like “Hearts” backwards. I’d explain more but I don’t feel like it.
Iunno if white folks love Spades as much as we do, but Black folks??? We don’t PLAY with Spades. We’re se’ious about it.
Truer words have never been Tweeted. Spades is SERIOUS BUSINESS. To us, it’s as if our whole reputation, credit score, livelihood and 401(k) depend on our performance in Spades. We form opinions on individuals and their value in our lives based on how good they are in Spades. It’s a sad truth.
Now, everyone who plays Spades doesn’t have to be a whiz at it. Nawl! That ain’t what we’re expecting. HOWEVER, if you get the nerve to sit at a Spades table, there is ONE thing you MUST. NOT. DO.
You must not RENEGE. What’s reneging? That’s when you have a card in your hand that is the suit being played, but you play another suit accidentally. i.e. Hearts are being played. YOU should play a hearts card (if you have it). But you play a card of another suit.) Heart— Hearts—Hearts—SPADE. YOU JUST PLAYED A SPADE. YOU BET’ NOT HAVE A HEART IN YOUR HAND! If you did, you just committed the cardinal sin of Spades and RENEGED!)
Oh and I can hear the newbies say “But how do people know you’ve reneged?” Wells… when you play with spades veterans, they watch EVERY hand. Some are so good that they can count and figure out exactly what cards are in your hand from how you play. Trust. They WILL know. And if they don’t realize you’ve reneged, then everyone playing must have just learned Spades the game before.
Anyway. When someone reneges???? CLEAR THE WAY because THIS is usually when and where ALL hell breaks lose on a spades table. When people realize you’ve reneged, you and your partner lose THREE books. And usually, Beezlebub himself looks like Angel Michael, compared to the reaction of your unfortunate partner. Reneging in spades can result in a flipped over table if your partner is that angry. And nobody blames ‘em. It’s like the 8th deadly sin. If/when your partner flips over the table and goes into a cussing match the OTHER pair usually backs out the way and say “Run US THEM BOOKS!!!”
If you renege, expect a breakup card like this from your partner. Shourrout to SomeEcards.com for this. It captures it so well.
A tantrum from the partner of the Reneger (HA!) can last a while. Let them. It’s healthy to do this. And sometimes, they may not return to the table. This is also when things like friendships and marriages end. When your significant other reneges, you can’t even LOOK at them the same way.
Spades is NOT a game! It’s LIFE!
I remember the time in college when KrisKarismatic and I were partners in spades. Our friend JD, who must have been a rookie reneged on the first book. THE FIRST BOOK! How the hell do you do THAT? Chile… Kris and I spent the ENTIRE next day telling everyone how JD couldn’t play spades. But FIRST BOOK #doe??? Who reneges on Book 1? We pretty much ruint his Spades rep.
If you’ve EVER renege in Spades, that ONE renegging will follow you for the rest of your playing life. You could be FIVE when it happened. The secret to NOT reneging? Arrange your cards by suit when you get them. And alternate the colors. You’re welcome.
But yes, reneging is the ultimate Spades sin. But there are other ways you can suck at. You can underbid, overbid, cut your partner… So many things. If you play spades, you get what I just said. I you don’t either choose to learn (and learn well) or just stay in the absolute dark. No middle ground. Spades isn’t for the faint of heart.
This is to FURTHER let you know… #SpadesIsNotAGame
The people in my Twitfam are awesome, and they get me. So I asked “What is the worst thing your partner has ever done in a game of spades? How did you react? Are they still breathing?” The replies I got were just… in typical ratchet fashion.
“She cut my lil joker with the big joker….ummm, she started back breathing after about 5 mins or so #throatchop” – @atlfoxy
“One hand I throw a K of Diamonds. Partner CUTS me for no reason. Last card that hand? They threw a diamond. We no longer speak.” – @elonjames
“Let’s just say there someone n DC wit a big bald spot that a weave can’t cover! Slinks away” – @findinacure77
“Partner swore they had 2 and I had a solid 9. I said “ARE. YOU. SURE?” “YES!” We got stuck by 2. We no longer speak.” – @elonjames
“I’ve seen a girl get smacked with a sprite bottle because she missed one book to have a bubble!” – @BellaFierce
“I still refer to a best friend of mine, who reneged ONCE two years ago, as a “negligent, reneging bish.” – @BeezHunny
“You ever play with partners of 5+ years? With all kind of non verbal communication? Yea… Someone’s hand got stabbed for that.” – @skuzemewoods
And I MUST highlight:
“I will never forget xmas last year when my sis in law cut ova me wit her big joker! All hell broke loose & liquor was involved! the fact that I can’t stand that bitch I stumbled my ass outside, went to her car & put sugar in her gas tank! it was her damn fault we lost!!! She wanna underbid & shit! I’m like bitch all we need is 7, we made 4! I asked her specifically: r those whitneys & bobbys strong? I call the possible books whitney & bobby for sum damn reason lol I am so serious! I put domino’s sugar in her tank! She still don’t know to this day I did it…” – @LadyFresh85
*DEAD AND GONE* This fool put SUGAR in her sister in law’s gas tank. Over SPADES!!! All sorts of humanity is lost when one sits down and plays spades.
I consider myself a decent Spades player. HOWEVER… I REFUSE to play Spades with anyone over 40. ABSOLUTELY refuse. I enjoy life. And I enjoy having confidence in who I am. Spades with the Over 40 bunch will BREAK YOU DOWN!!! Fraternities and sororities should make that part of their pledge process. For realsies.
LMAO! iCan’t with Elon sometimes.
I don’t play spades with people over 40. NO. MA’AM. Them folks could win a game with 12 hearts in their hand. That voodoo they do??? NOPE! Not just that… older folks playing spades might confuse you and your cousin for each other but see if they’ont know everyone’s hands from just watching the game.
My grandmother is legally blind in one eye… but I bet 3 books in, she knows what everybody got in their hand. – @shehateme
And as you see above, Spades kind of brings out the worst in everybody. Your aunty who you ain’t NEVER heard cuss plays spades and turns into Richard Pryor talmbout “You ain’t GOT SHIT in yo GAHTDAMB HAND!” AUNTIE!
Yeah… Once more I’ll say SPADES IS NOT A GAME. SPADES IS LIFE!
Spades is like co-signing on a loan. Don’t take this shit personal. But know you’re taking a risk. Your name is on the line. Just saying…
*reads post* Lawd! Spades seems to be the precursor for a lot of violent crime.
Am I right? Do y’all have a bad experience with Spades? When was the first time you cried over it? Oh. That was just me that one time? Oh ok. (-__-)
P.S. Shoutout to my Twitfam for being so awesome. I give y’all co-writing credit. And no, I won’t be sharing these 7 cents in AdSense dollars. My riches are mine to keep. O__O I’ll go buy ONE Nahndladuh with it. Not the pack. But ONE.
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“I don’t play spades with people over 40. NO. MA’AM”
This my dear Luvvie is how I learned the game, sitting at the table with a bunch of chain smoking, whiskey drinking, sh*t talking family members. Yup, I was counting cards at 11 y.o. & can shuffle & deal cards with one hand. I’m nice.
Don’t be scurred of the older set. But don’t renege. EVER. Or underbid. Each one, teach one ya know.
Gurl NAW! I ain’t playing w/ them. Nope. I valu my life too murch. too murch, I say.
I’ll venture to say that a solid 35% of black on black crimes involved a spades game. I am decent at spades, but I’ll sit out just because I know things can get volatile.
The one person that I don’t want to play with (but always get stuck playing with) is my mama. She talks the MOST junk over the board. Calling out the cards I have ie: “Gon’ ahead and but that 2 uh dia-uh-minds down… You know you wanna do it.” And she’ll scream at you if you if she think you’re ‘talking across the board’ to your partner. A simple question like “Seriously, I forgot. What are we playing to? 500?” Will get a “SHUT THAT UP! GET UP OFF THE TABLE WITH THAT! I HEAR YOU TRYING TO PASS MESSAGES!” lmao. I love her #doe
The ALL TIME worst though was when my sister, who is a mild meek person, threatened to “knock me in my throat if I underbid.” I promptly told the table “I’ont even wanna play anymore… Y’all too mean.” LOL.
I have so many fond memories from Spades! Those who don’t know how to play are really missing out!
“I’ll venture to say that a solid 35% of black on black crimes involved a spades game”
Yes. I wholeheartedly stand behind this statistic. With spades, all bets are off. And you GOTTA learn to talk shit when you play spades. Even when you losing. You talk MAD sh*t. It’s half the battle.
O I didn’t mention that she reneged on the 2nd hand!! LOL, ppl don’t put sugar in a gas tank. I dont condone it, BUT damnit u play spades with me u better play like your life depends on it. She learned her lesson.
Yeah reneging on the 2nd hand. I’m not e’em sure I blame you for that sugar. People don got baby toes shot off for such offenses.
when she reneged on that 2nd hand I thought my life was over, I literally almost started cryin but the card gods were lookin down on ME cuz after that every hand I had was at least 5 to 6 books. I thought somebody rigged the cards!! Nah that was blk jesus helpin me! I ain’t talk to her since that happen & I have no intentions either!! lol!
LMAOOOOO!!! Chile u don disowned her. Can’t e’em blame u. Spades is personal.
ROFL at all of this. I learned to play from both my mom and Auntie Ev, who were well over 40. My Spades resume is fresher than ya mammy *hits my dougie with the Big Joker on my forehead*
I’ont think we’ve ever played spades. Hmm… U from the WESSSSIDE so I believe you though.
Once again, this is one of the reasons I question my blackness. I can’t play spades.
I mean I know the rules to the game, and sometimes I had to be the official referee at holiday functions but ain’t nobody eva trust me enough to be their partner. #JesusWept
Anywhozers… this is why I feel sorry for the next generation of lil black chil’lums. Who gon teach them about Spades? Who gon sit around provide the over 40 entertainment that we got from the antics at the Spades board? Lil churrrens too busy texting and secktings and IMing to learn the game. We going extinct ya’ll…
Yeah if ain’t nobody ever trust u to be their spaes partner, consider them saving your life. They really care. They’ont want bad things to happen to you on that there spades table. B/c as a rookie, they’re bound to happen. Stuff that’ll make grown men CRY.
And it’s up to us to pass on the game of spades to our chilrun. I’ma snatch my kids’ cellphones during holidays. “Yall gon watch us play and talk shit DAMNIT!”
I stand by everything I said. I’ll whoop your ass unapologetically if you cut me unnecessarily or renege AND THAT’S ON EVERYTHING I LOVE. F*ck you & ya mama too.
LMAO!!! Crissle came thru to GOON some more! iCan’t take you.
See, this is why I am now the Black Girl in Maine despite the fact I was born and raised in Chicago. I cannot play Spades, shit I can’t play card games period. For some reason my Pops was not down with card games as a result they weren’t played in our house…now I am almost 40 and can’t do it.
Seriously, I do know Black folks take Spades seriously yet I really don’t its something white folks get into…at least not according to my resident white man.
So where can those of us who never learned Spades go to learn or are we just out of luck?
You can’t play card games??? Gurl… you need some card mentors. We can’t let you go on like this. At the LEAST can you play solitaire?
“So where can those of us who never learned Spades go to learn or are we just out of luck?”
Good question. I’m have to think bout that and get back to you. Yes. It’s THAT deep.
@BGIM: Wait, what? NO card games?! Oh man…
I don’t play spades WELL, that’s my dang problem (trying to figure out the books, man; good looking out, luvvie *Bruh Man nod*.)
We need Morpheus, the Oracle AND Neo…Spades Edition, of course.
You can learn on Internet Spades.
I started playing spades when I was 8, my mama was my partner. I had grown men slamming their fist into the table because we were kicking ass. One of them decided to accuse me of reneging and my mama about lost her mind. She didn’t raise no reneger!
I stopped playing when I was 10, but 9 years later at a halloween party over some white zinfandel,I was partnered with my friends God mother against an aunt and an drunk uncle. All over 40 and all mad I could play just as good as them even though I was rusty. He almost turned the table over, he got so mad. Haven’t played since. Too much violence.
oh and Dominoes…dear God. I’m remembering why I stopped playing these games.
LMAO @ this post! My dad’s side of the family is from Chicago, and I have vivid childhood memories of loud arguments that nearly escalated to knock-down, drag-out fights over Spades games. For a long time, they didn’t even let us kids play because it was just that serious.
My grandma talks so much shit while playing Spades. She doesn’t care one bit if you’re her flesh and blood; everyone is the enemy during a Spades game.
LMFAO @ grandma. My grandma is like that too… the only time I remember yelling & shouting during functions is when a spades game was being played…
I know humans in general are capable of murder, but I don’t need to hear “Battleflag” every time I’m within close proximity to a spades table! Have me jumpin and ish like something’s gonna pop off…naw, I’m good.
Mmhmm, that’s all I need: Cousin Sam (or @smashedthehomie, for that matter) at the table talmbout: “if you don’t wanna get killed, (slo-mo] GET. THE. F*CK. OUT!” PTSD-sponsored-by-Bicycle game proper.
When I was in high school, if you didn’t know how to play spades, you were forced to actually *gasps* study during study hall period. There would be 3 sets of 4 desks pushed together in the classroom. Everyone playing spades.
When I was a sophomore, this girl talked so much shit about her spades abilities all day. When we got to study hall, my partner and I ran Boston on her and her partner. They hate each other to this day. LOL
And I refuse to play spades with older people. My aunt and my cousin play against my grandpa and my uncle at every family reunion. They have yet to beat them once. My ego cant take that kind of humiliation.
You. Ain’t. Neva. Lied. Spades is most definitely that life. If you look up “life” in the thesaurus, a Big Joker is the picture. Ish ain’t no game.
As for the Over 40 crowd, I have to co-sign how serious they are, but I think they’re my FAVORITE folks to play with because that’s how I learnt. My grandma taught me how to play at like 6 years old. She was the Spades Sensei. And most of my leisurely time was spent being the only minor at a table of senior citizens. Let me tell you, NO ONE knows how to sh*t talk like old folks. Ya’ll thank rappers got the beef game on deck, but naw…mofos waiting in line to get to heaven will CUT YOU WITH WORDS. (word to Aneesa of RW fame)
And yes, reneging is the 8th deadly sin. Right behind it is cutting your partner. I sweahfolawd, I don’t care if you SAVED MY LIFE, I will refer to you as the partner who cut me. I will sully the mess out yo name. And it has happened. I do not look at them folks the same no mo. SMH…
you were right about spades
well cards in general in the black community
I was banned from playing
for life
by my dad. Over slamming my cards on the table in a game of tunk. Not cool. Not cool at all. He said dammit girl don’t you know slamming down your cards will get you killed?
WHAT! I am over here dying because this is REAL!
what kills me is the fellas! the fellas always think they can run the table, but EVERY SINGLE TIME me and another chick link up at a party…we ends up sweeping em right on up!
i learned from my daddy and my brothers (who are now over 40) and they were NOT playing spades for sure but don’t forget tnuk…fools act up over some tnuk
you deal you better be ready for the consequences can’t be no punk at any black card table regardless of the game!
I have Southern relatives (on both sides, TX and OK) so spades was a must. I never knew what reneging was b/c it was called “passin bogus” for the longest time. And absolutely no “talkin on the table” NOT NEVER. You could ask what led and that was it.
Never any fights but man the yellin and sh*t-talkin went to overdrive. The best part were the people waiting in line b/c they would add commentary. So much junk being talked at the table it was a sin and a shame.
I still remember the first (and last!) time I reneged. It was my junior year in college and we were playing on the floor in my friend’s dorm room. My team was whooping ass! We had 9 books at this time. 9! The game was almost over and spades were out. I accidentally dropped some random card instead of my last spade, 2 of diamonds. I forgot they were wild. Smh. A round later when I put down that 2 of diamonds I SWEAR everything started moving in slow motion. My partner’s face dropped. My opponents rose to their feet, pointed and shouted RENEGED! RENEGGER! I can still feel the hot shame that spread across my face that night. It ain’t a game, folks, it ain’t a game.
Spades is real. SO REAL. I take pictures of scores after games. I read body language likes its a sin.
WHY TOU TOOK SO LONG TO LEAD A HAND WITH A DAMN 5 OF HEARTS?! YOU AIN;T GOT GOT BOARD BEWTWIXT THE TWO UH Y’ALL!
I learned Spades by sitting next to my Uncle Harold, who (bless his soul) was the best dominoe/card/alcholoic this side of the MS river. He taught me how to count books, bid hands, make a 10 in any suit make it, go blind 10 and win, catch people in a trap with my parter (alternating taggin’ asses) how to “you make ‘em, I’ll rake ‘em”..Lawdt…so much. so much.
You forgot to mention when the game’s for money though. And tournaments. Real talk, I love my little brother, but I’ll never in life play with him again behind spades. He overbids (i.e.: I got 14 books.” How? Only 13 in the deck? [We take those red 2s out; ain't no deuces wild!]) and iCan’t lose my $20 over no renegin’.
YEW CAIN’T COME BACK FROM THAT!
IDIED! @ 14 books!!!!
My grandparents used to (and still will) straight take my money. We’d sometimes play for like $1 when I was a kid. And if I lost? Grandma would unapologetically TAKE my dollar. And not give it back.
But, see, if I win? If I win?! She’d get mad if you get up from the table without giving her the chance to win her money back. So, any way it went, GRANDMA WAS GOING TO BE POCKETING my dollar.
That’s why I ain’t played cards with her since I was 12. #punkedbygrams
Oh, and my usual spades partner got stuck playing with some random dude one time. She almost made that fool consider suicide when the Ace wasn’t enuf… because he cut it with the little Joker. (ba-dum pum.) You could practically hear the record come to a screeching halt & everybody at the party looked on in horror at this egregious mistake. LOL! She two seconds from leaping across the table & taking dude out. Needless to say, that was the last hand she played with him. Ever.
I dunno bout the rest of the white ppl, but I love to play spades. Been playing since I was about 12 and I’m 42 now. And I co-sign every last damn thang Crissle said… renege or fugg around and cut me for no good reason, and it’s gon’ be one hell of a misunderstanding.
Can I Say i laughed till tears rolled down my face at this post!!! Love the comments!!!!
I remember in undergrad when I had my first attempt at someone teaching me how to play (Yeah thats kinda late). I renigged Once (mind you just learning how to play) and things got so HEATED I just STOPED… Who knew Engineers could be so HARSH.
All bets are off once you renege! Occupation does nothing in spades. PRIESTS would cuss if you reneged.
the turning over of the table is always done by my uncle reggie its a thanksgiving tradition, he takes spades to a whole new level. I can remember one year my older brother and him were playing and my brother cut his little joker. my uncle punched my brother in the jaw and told him to no longer consider him family and told him he was dead to him. to this day my uncle doesnt hold real conversation with my brother and refuses to even play in the same spades game as my brother even though they arent partnered up!
I am from the South, I learned from friends and yes I got yelled at and shit…ridiculous! But how we always won with my non-playing self?
The fear…. the Spades player can smell fear!!!
So I just talk shit and eyeball everybody!!
I probably play a few times a year I be trying to get lessons to refresh my memory and I have found ppl willing to teach you just have to pay attention.
We will be playing at the next dessert party!!
*le sigh* 80s and 90s were good years!!
Oh sweet memories! Nothing like being trump tight early in the game. Or that time back in 1977 when we ran a boston on those two cheaters from Lakeview! Spades is the game!
….from: An over-40s spades fanatic
Yeah I couldn’t play spades w/ u. you past my cut off age. You’d wipe the table w/ me. NO SIR!
I love playing spades! I am over 40(just by a little bit).Don’t be scared to play with me. I won’t do you wrong. LOL!
Cutting me as a partner might get you cut. When I play, the switchblade is in the bra…
OMG! You ain’t lyin! I didn’t learn to play til my freshman year in college. My roommate taught me how to win books and not renege in one game. She didn’t teach me about strategy. At all. So the very next game (like 5 minutes later), I was excited to be making books….so excited that I didn’t realize her that I was cutting her left and right! After the 3rd time (yes, she was giving me ugly looks the first 2 times but I wasn’t understanding why), she let loose on a tirade so fierce! The fact that I had learned how to play 10 minutes earlier meant nothing to her. I wouldn’t let anybody see me cry but damn if I didn’t to! We didn’t speak too much after that. Even though we were in the same room. I was worthless in her eyes.
I don’t play Spades anymore except on the computer. LOL
Yes.
I am a serious spades player. And spades is life. In my family, you never graduate from the kids table if you don’t master spades.
I lol’d through the whole thing.
Best one yet.
Yes.
I am a serious spades player. And spades is life. In my family, you never graduate from the kids table if you don’t master spades. Your character as a human is judged by your ability to play this game.
I lol’d through the whole thing.
Best one yet.
My 2 cents..
Life is a game of spades..
As in life, we all get our share of the cards. You may have a hand full of spades like the few who were born with a silver spoon in their mouth. You may also have no spades at all. However the hand you have is in your life, it is very important to know the game. It is very important for you to know what cards are important. Without knowing how the game goes, you will bid wrong – hence choosing the wrong dream in your life. With the knowledge of the game, the knowledge about life, you have only one chance to play your hands right. It is the points you win in the end – the accomplishments of your life, that will decide what kind of a person you were. Will you be a person who overbid and cause pain in others? Or will you be a player that people will remember in history?
Life is a game of spades.