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Who Would You Rather…? Discuss.

I owe you all a post but in the meantime, I have a coupla questions for you.

Question

If you ended up in Hell, who wold you rather sing acapella to you for eternity: Rihanna or Cassie?

Who would you rather take a bite from your food: Jim Jones unkempt self or Gucci Mane and his paper lips?

Who would you rather borrowed money from you: DMX or Frankie? (You know you can’t trust crackheads)

Who would you rather share a comb with: Jermaine Jackson or Coolio?

Who would you rather get a perm from: Jesse Jackson or Rev. Al Sharpton?

Discuss.

21 Comments

  1. November 29, 2010 at 8:39 am — Reply

    First off, you ain’t sh** for these horrible, terrible questions. Ain’t we going into the Chrimmus season? These ain’t tidings of good cheer.

    1. iRebuke it.
    2. Ugh, Jim Jones. I’m sure Gucci’s lips carry several uncurable strains of leprosy.
    3. DMX lol he can at least put his royalties up for collateral.
    4. Coolio. He don’t use it that often.
    5. Al Shawptun!

  2. November 29, 2010 at 8:56 am — Reply

    1. I’ve got to go with Ms. Fenty on this one. I’m pretty sure if Cassie is there Sean Combs will not be far behind. Burning in hell is one thing but burning in hell with Sean Combs is an iCan’t.

    2. Jones all day. (This is funny because I have proof that Jim Jones is in fact the devil.)

    3. DMX. I wouldn’t let Frankie borrow a piece of gum.

    4. Coolio.

    5. The Rev. Al wins this. He know’s James Brown’s perm secrets so I’m rolling with him.

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  4. November 29, 2010 at 8:58 am — Reply

    1. Cassie. She sings close to a whisper, so I can ignore her easier.
    2. Gucci Mane, but IDK why.
    3. Frankie, ’cause I think she’s got more at this point.
    4. Jermaine, for sho. I can use his residual gel.
    5. No brainer, Al.

  5. Ms. Heaven
    November 29, 2010 at 9:02 am — Reply

    1. Just let me burn in silence.
    2. This is an offense against God & all mankind…but I guess Jim Jones. *eww*
    3. DMX…ain’t he bout to go back to jail? I can just cash his checks for him while he locked up & get my money back plus interest.
    4. Jermaine Jackson, hands down, simply because sliding shoe polish on your scalp doesn’t require the use of a comb.
    5. Imma hafta go w/Big Al. His hair be shaaaaap & straight as the stick up Morgan Freemans ass.

  6. Kay
    November 29, 2010 at 9:07 am — Reply

    1. Neither, I’d rather slice my throat and wrist and sentenced to the last circle of hell (according to Dante)

    2. Jones….Gucci looks to have herpes…and like his bref stank

    3. DMX…Frankie would make me beat her ass something serious and you know crack heads feel no pain….So what’s the point?

    4. Coolio…he doesn’t use his…

    5. Al…he knows his way around a jar of lye…

  7. November 29, 2010 at 9:39 am — Reply

    1. Just burn me to a crisp
    2. GUCCI!
    3. Lawd….Franki..she tryin
    4. yikes..Coolio. At least he won’t have as much ‘debris’ left in the comb after he’s done..because he barely has any hair left.
    5. The Rev..He’ll know how to work that relaxer in to make it nice and bone straight :)

  8. Kourtney
    November 29, 2010 at 9:42 am — Reply

    1) Rihanna but that’s only cuz she has a FEW songs that I “like.” But if she tried to sing Umbrella I may have to kill her.

    2) Oh Jim Jones. I can barely look at Gucci’s lips in a picture so I know I for darn sure couldn’t handle him near my food.

    3) DMX. Only cuz he at least contributed mildly to my life by providing some good songs. This Frankie chick..ehh…not quite so much.

    4)Coolio–Jermaine’s hair has waaaaay too much product in it.

    5) Definitely Al. I’m a natural hair chick but even I have to give the good Reverend props for ALWAYS having his hair perfectly fried, dyed, and laid to the side!

  9. bronxgirl1
    November 29, 2010 at 9:46 am — Reply

    1) Rihanna because she always sounds like she is three sheets to the wind (translation: drunk off her ass). So here is to hoping that she will pass out mid performance every night.

    2)Jim Jones but only after he soaks in a hot bath for like 72 hours and brushes his teeth with boric acid.

    3)Frankie. Cracked out as she is, she hasn’t gone back to jail. I don’t have enough money to support DMX’s bail bonds. Which at this point I think are higher than his crack bills.

    4)Jermaine Jackson because shellacking one’s head with gel until the hair looks like the enamel head on a porcelain doll requires a spackling blade…not a comb.

    5)Well I am natural and completey cured of my former creamy crack addiction. But if I were going to relapse it would require stronger stuff. Since I would want my hair bone straight, I would have to go with Al Sharpton on this one. The man must be a bonified chemist since he obviously uses sulphuric acid to perm his hair. I only have one stipulation though…Al can perm my hair but I want Snoop to style it.

  10. November 29, 2010 at 11:35 am — Reply

    Monday’s going slow…. So here goes nothing:

    – Cassie, bc in my opinion she’s easier on the eyes. Plus, I just don’t like Rhianna.

    – Neither, I’ll just give up my food instead. I rather go hungry than contract AID 3 from any of them.

    – DMX.

    – I’m going bald so I don’t have to worry about sharing a comb with either one of them.

    – Again going bald, but Al Sharpton has more experience with using the chemicals. But bald it is.

  11. November 29, 2010 at 12:46 pm — Reply

    I don’t know why I thought these questions were going to be serious.

    1. I would rather cut my ears off than listen to either one.

    2. Gucci Mane. His lips could be restored with a two month intensive program Jim Jones looks like he has his own brand of negro lice.

    3. Neither but I would let DMX play with my dogs since they converse well with one another

    4. Coolio cause Jermaine Jackson has that Natchez Mississippi lard in his hair.

    5.Seeing as Al Sharpton still gets a conk probably Jesse Jackson but my hair is natural so really neither.

  12. November 29, 2010 at 2:50 pm — Reply

    If you ended up in Hell, who wold you rather sing acapella to you for eternity: Rihanna or Cassie?

    — Do I have the choice of auto-tuning them? No? Hmph. Ok, um…*thinks hard* Rihanna because um…at least she’ll wear something interesting to look at.

    Who would you rather take a bite from your food: Jim Jones unkempt self or Gucci Mane and his paper lips?

    — OMG, WHY?! I hatechu. I don’t e’en like FAMILY taking a bite from my food (OCD-ness), let alone these creatures. Um…I gotta say Gucci. He looks a BIT cleaner than Jim. I’ll just have to take off the piece where he bit. lol

    Who would you rather borrowed money from you: DMX or Frankie? (You know you can’t trust crackheads)

    — Hmmm…Frankie because I don’t want DMX barking at me.

    Who would you rather share a comb with: Jermaine Jackson or Coolio?

    — Coolio. I don’t want tar on my comb. I can rinse out the particles in Coolio’s hair. lol

    Who would you rather get a perm from: Jesse Jackson or Rev. Al Sharpton?

    – OMG, my scalp!! Um, Jesse. Al is um….yeah.

  13. Ashley
    November 29, 2010 at 3:16 pm — Reply

    I’m guessing for these I can’t say “neither” or “{insert another option}” so

    Rihanna, simply because I’d get a good laugh out of her singing “just gonna stand there and watch me burn” for some reason

    {{this was the toughest one for me b/c I don’t like sharing my food with ANYbody}} Jim Jones, don’t ask why though because I really don’t know

    DMX because I’m just not a fan of Frankie and he’s in jail (or is going back) so I can get my money while he’s locked up

    Coolio because he had dreads the last time I saw him (think Gangsta’s Paradise) and if he cut them off he probably has a low fade or is bald so he’ll have no use for his comb

    Rev. Al simply because, though I don’t really listen to a thing he says, I believed him in the Good Hair documentary.

  14. SweetTee
    November 29, 2010 at 5:33 pm — Reply

    1. Rihanna or Cassie?

    Since I already know I’m headed to hell in an overnight express handbasket, I would have to go Rihanna. Since she has had more “hits” than Cassie, at least she can put some variety in what she yodels to me. Other than Me and You, what else did Cassie do? Also, if I chose Cassie, does her eternal serenade come with P Diddy dancing in the background like a fool? (Hat tip to 1995 Shug Knight for that classic diss.)

    2. JJ or GM?

    Wow, you did not make this easy. If I had to choose, I would go Gucci. When he takes out his grill and put some chapstick on those lips, he’s actually presentable.

    By just looking at Jim Jones, I feel like I have contracted every form of Hepatisis A-Z and a dormant case of herpes. As a matter of fact, let me go make an appt at the clinic, just in case…..

    3. DMX or Frankie (holla!)

    That one is a draw. Given that their beacons of stability have bounced from their lives (DMX’s soon to be ex-wife, who happens to live in the same area as me, and Keisha for Frankie), I just can’t take the risk…I’m sorry. I still paying off student loans.

    4. Jermaine or Coolio?

    I have to go Jermaine. At least I know that my scalp will be conditioned and moisturized, given all of the goo that will be left behind in that comb. The downside to that is that I will come out looking like Johny Bravo (h/t to those who remember that Cartoon Network show).

    5. Jesse or Reb Al?

    Hands down, Al. He knows to wash the relaxer out with a nuetralizing shampoo….

  15. SweetTee
    November 29, 2010 at 5:49 pm — Reply

    Here are some other questions that the group can pontificate on while they still digest their Thanksgiving meal:

    1- Who would you rather get into a twitter fight with- Kat Stacks or 50 Cent?

    2- Who would you rather have as your baby daddy (cuz you know he’s not going to marry you)- Lil Wayne or Flava Flav?

    3- Who would you want as your BFF, NY (aka as Tiffany Patterson) from Flava of Love or Omorossa Manigault Stalsworth (I’m not a fan of her, but I like her name, it sounds like a charater from Dynasty)….yeah, I just dated myself…

    • November 29, 2010 at 11:32 pm — Reply

      1. Kat Stacks….she never fights backs and those handcuffs make it easier to punch her…
      2. Hmm….Lil Wayne….at least the kid would actually benefit from the income…Wayne works like a Hebrew slave
      3. Omorosa….she does seem to have sense even if she’s a bitch…maybe she could help me meet Al B Su-ure!

    • Vanita Applebum
      December 7, 2010 at 3:00 pm — Reply

      1. Neither speak english.

      2. Lil Wayne and Flava Flav are not the same person? Dang. Who knew?

      3. Omorosa – I would rather have her on my side if a fight break out.

  16. November 29, 2010 at 10:41 pm — Reply

    1. Cassie. It’s been a minute since I heard her “perform,” but if memory serves me correctly, her singing voice is barely audible. It beats the hell (no pun intended) out of Rihanna straining to hit those damn high notes.

    2. Ugh…the mere thought of this grosses me out because I am not a food sharer. Since I’m itching just by typing Jim Jones’ name, I would have to go with Gucci. Only after I’ve eaten everything that I want; he can have the leftovers.

    3. DMX. He scares me. I can’t imagine what would go down if I had the nerve to tell him “no.”

    4. I thought Coolio had those dread twisty things? I’ll go with Coolio.

    5. Rev. Sharpton…his shit is super silky.

  17. Vanita Applebum
    December 7, 2010 at 3:05 pm — Reply

    1. Rihanna….on second thought nawl, just let me burn.

    2. Imma be hongry that day.

    3. Neither of them are gonna pay it back.

    4. I’m gonna shave my head.

    5. Rebm Al. He need to open a conk shop.

  18. bogart4017
    December 23, 2010 at 4:06 pm — Reply

    If you’re gonna be in hell for eternity, what difference does it make??

  19. Nikki G
    August 24, 2011 at 12:58 pm — Reply

    In response to your couple of questions I’d have to say I’d rather listen to Rhi Rhi for all eternity if I gotta be damned. I’m not trying to loan no money to neither one of them fools, share food or combs with any of the aforementioned. However, for the sake of choosing I’ll say Jim Bob, Frankie (us gurls gotta stick together) and Michael’s Big Bro minus the jheri curl juice. The Rev looks like he knows how to work a perm kit and get in the kitchen and get all the bee bees so I’m gonna roll with da reverand.

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