Whose Sexy Flexy Granny Is This?
So the other day. I decided to put on my Facebook fan page that folks can feel free to share any photos, videos or stories of foolery that they find. Why? Foolery I asked for, and foolery I got.
This picture happened.
WHOSE GRANNY IS THIS??? I feel so ashamed looking at this pic. SO SHAMED! Someone’s granny put on her BEST raunchy PLEATHER (because we all know that’s not leather) gear and is taking segzy pics on a bed. She got on the gloves, the cropped vest, the sideless (ew) pants and the 7 inch “F em” shoes.
Sidenote: Am I the only one concerned that if Granny Smith stood up in those shoes, her bones might crumble? Ain’t no milk in the world gon protect her from that. I’m young and I wouldn’t e’em wear those shoes. NO MA’AM! I value my knees!
I’ont know how to feel about this. On ONE hand, I’ont wanna be a hater and tell Granny Smith not to get her groove back. Geriatrics need love too. HOWEVER, who is Granny wearing this and taking pictures for? If it’s Rufus from Bingo night, she might do kill him because his heart might not be able to take all this stimulus.
And can we talk about how Granny’s rocking windshield wipers as eyelashes? Who does she thank she is? I bet she blinks and a gust of wind blows through. Those eye fans she got on. She’s like if Blanche Devereaux aged but didn’t slow down.
Plus the hair? FRIED, DYED and LAID TO THE TOP! I wonder how many cans of hairspray it took for that hairstyle to come alive. I hope the spray doesn’t clash with her emphysema. This woman looks like she’s been smoking since she was 10.
All I hope is that Granny don’t break her hips doing whatever she wants to come from that picture. I heard replacement surgeries are painful. Besides, she better go watch the Golden Girls and reminisce bout her days as a young “whipper snapper.”
So I ask, WHOSE GRANNY IS THIS?