Every Friday, folks on Twitter do #FF, which is the hashtag for Follow Friday (follow me on there, BTW. @Luvvie). It’s a day where folks are supposed to recommend to others who they should follow. As with everything on Twitter, the original concept has been made irrelevant by people who abuse #FF with random ass long lists and retweeting mentions of themselves. So #FF has gone by the wayside. However, one person who does #FF right is Miss Zindzi. She uses the day to RT the FUNNIEST tweets of the week and adds the #FF hashtag. She’s genius. And awesome for it.
Zindzi is great for finding the DUMBEST tweets EVER. So I asked her to bless me (and you) with a post on various tweets she’s come across all year, that are just on DUMMY. And she did. So… enjoy!
Twitter: A place for people to share their thoughts. A place for celebrities and public figures to connect with their fans and supporters. An English major’s nightmare.
I want to forget these tweets. I want to pretend MJB never typed “intelligents”. But I cannot. So with a heavy heart and deep sigh, I present to you:
The 25 Dumbest Tweets of 2010
1) @LeighyahBaby: Ladies that fall in luv with other peoples boyfriends have low selves of steam
Zindzi: Okay, she meant well, but DAMN.
Luvvie: The fact that I can’t e’em type “self esteem” anymore because of this is just…
2) @Tyrese: Real MEN who study&enjoy nieces asses clearly know the difference in a REAL of FAKE ass..So you ladies know It’s NASTY STOP IT!
Zindzi: When your misspellings/grammatical errors render your tweets slightly illegal, you need to step away from the keyboard
Luvvie: I don’t even know WHAT he’s talmbout here.
3) @starchyldzwurld: Iph sumbodee notice u got a hair owta playce they lyke u or they gelus oph u…#platowt…TiNg**
Zindzi: I…have no words. EVERYTHING is wrong here.
Luvvie: Wait… WHAT?
4) @Cdotthecatalyst RT @wait_Ur_A_NATE: this nigga got cerrobopause, why the fuck he keep moving his hand <– u mean cerebral paulsy?
Zindzi: My favorite type of grammatical error would have to be one that is made when attempting to correct someone else’s error
5) @chloowalker: i’m having withdrawal systems i haven’t had a gingerbread latte in days!
Zindzi: Withdrawal. Systems. *burns books*
6) @NinoBgr8: #Ladies If u have hair on ur knuckles yew where going to be a man but God changed his Mine =)
Zindzi: *Blank Stare*
7) @hoopz_23: Closes mouths don’t get feed!
Zindzi: Noes, they doesn’ts!
Luvvie: But do opens foots get ate?
8 ) @slimthugga: It’s wanna those movies that have chicks on that sullibant shit
Zindzi: Isn’t sullibant an arthritis medicine? Sullibrex? Celibrex? I dunno.
Luvvie: “wanna those” though?
9) @ItsNotU_itsRIS: Women, stop puttin these men on such a high pedal stool. Not all of them are worth it #imjustsayin
@itorria05: Question off the day!! why must women be called a hoe when they sleep with many but a guy is placed on a petal stool?
Zindzi: When I see “pedal stool”, I think of a unicycle. When I see “petal stool”, I cry.
Luvvie: The lack of respect of grammar, syntax, subject-verb agreement and the English language in general… But he gets an E for effort. I guess.
10) @NETWORKGIL: hate all girls with arterial motives that’s why I 20 plus no son no daughters
Zindzi: Nonsensical AND misspelled? *Facepalm*
Luvvie: I also hate ventricular motives. O__O
11) @BigHomie_: #HowToKeepAMan sign dat pre-nub b4 y’all tie the knot
Zindzi: Pre-nub=An arm pre-amputation?
Luvvie: Pre-nub is what happens AFTER amputation before the nub develops.
Zindzi: If you Google a word and the only results that come up are retweets of your misspelling, you’ve lost
Luvvie: NO birthday #secks for you! NO SIR!
13) @HP3D: if your gone hang with bitches, they minus well be female
@MsCJayBoss: If ya gotta stay home mine as well eat good!
@Tiana_Maclips: Matter as well walk to da nail salon while lex take her time
Zindzi: Okay, let’s discuss this. The term is “MIGHT AS WELL”. Not Mightus Whale, Mighty Swell, Minors Well…
Luvvie: All of ‘em #minuswell just go away.
14) @enaboomb: If you don’t have flower to fry chicken.. use muster #random
Zindzi: Is this from Sandra Lee’s cookbook?
Luvvie: I enjoy seerop with my food.
15) @BubbleFaceBre: #In10Years Niqqah Will Relize Females Are Really Smarter Then Them!
Zindzi: Thank you for setting us back 50 years.
Luvvie: And she’ll be the exception to that epiphany when it happens
Zindzi: I’m definitely crying, too…
Luvvie: If this child don’t go reassess her lifespace…
17) @WakaFlocka1017: A hater is a undercover admiru
Luvvie: I just…
18) @neivexsharpe: My grandma was lactoast & tolerant, my mom kinda is. That means I might, aslo?! Daaanngg it -_-
Zindzi: Lactoast. But definitely tolerant. Well, that’s good. *Sigh*
Luvvie: If she lacked toast, why ain’t she just eat waffles? Maybe she couldn’t tolerate it. Oh. That ain’t it? (-___-)
19) @tbad2thebone: Fantasia was her 2010 high school class valid victorian.
Zindzi: Another one of my favorite types of errors: Ones that are made while attempting to insult someone else’s intelligence]
20) @ShenekaAdams: I feel like doing some Debotury.
Zindzi: What annoyed me about this one was her attitude about being corrected. She CLEARLY meant “debauchery”, but when she was corrected, she said “not everyone uses the White Man’s dictionary”. So, to be fair, I consulted my Laotian Man’s dictionary, and yeah, “debotury” isn’t in there, either
21) @HazelLynn770: Straight women need to STOP taking the gay route as a escape goat.
Zindzi: Every time I see “escape goat”, I picture a bunch of goats running across a highway. Don’t judge me.
Luvvie: Escaped goat? Who let us Capricorns out the gate?? SHOURROUT TO MY FELLOW CAPRICORNS! Oh, he wasn’t talmbout us? Aight then. (-__-)
22) @Scooby85: Please dont miss interpret that last tweet people…. Omg lol
Zindzi: Miss Interpret? Is she friends with Miss Understood?
Luvvie: I thought she was BFFs with Miss Represent. *shrugs*
23) @anagabby93: My dad just felt extra dumb tryna say I aplied to thisd colledge and I said uhh no I didnt
Zindzi: Misspelling college is probably one of the dumbest things you can do, ESPECIALLY when calling someone else dumb.
Luvvie: Her poor daddy’s wasting money on college apps when she MIGHT wanna stay an extra year in high school to catch up.
24) @Nice_n_Strong: Stuck with a lot of should of , would of , could of
Zindzi: And you left me stuck with a lot of crap.
Luvvie: *deep sigh*
25) @Tyrese: In your relationship try and become a profetiobal forgiver..
Zindzi: This is the WORST kind of misspelling. The type that makes you question YOURSELF. I actually went to Google to see if maybe I was wrong, and “profetiobal” WAS an actual word. Shame on you, Mr. Gibson.
Luvvie: Profetiobal? Listen. EVERYONES ain’t meant to be deep.
Honorary mentions and Luvvie’s additions:
27) @iHateKatStacks: Leaving Atlanta On my way to Texas …. im all around the world
Luvvie: I just took Amtrak to Indiana. Y’all, I’m GLOBAL! O_____O
iHate that iLove Twitter sometimes. This is partly why. So much #debotury from people with low #selfofsteam, and then they wanna get an #additude when you correct them. These fools #minuswell just quit tweeting. For all #intensivepurposes, they’ont even know that spell check exists. Then they wanna talk bout haters when we all know it’s nothing but a #defensemagnesium. And you know who’s WORST at this? Tyrese. #Irregardless, he’s FAHN #doe. He’ont look like he got #surrebralposey or nothing. But he spells like he #daws. We all need to #except it. O_o Oh Twitter…
If your tweet ended up in the “25 Dumbest Tweets of 2010″ blog post, I kinda need you to close your Twitter account and go get an English tutor ASAPtually.
Which of these is the absolute dumbest?
Much love to ZINZAY for gracing my eCrib with her presence. She’s an English major and prolific tweeter from Brooklyn whose hobbies include reading, writing and hoodie collecting. Follow her on Twitter and Tumblr. Follow @MissZindzi and @Luvvie on Twitter.
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