Famous folks

The Kardashians Wish You A Merry Christmas

I came across this Gawker post talmbout the recently released The Kardashian family Christmas photo. So I had to show it to y’all.

The Kardashians are a relatively attractive family. And yes, they got a lot cuter from plastic surgery. BUT…

The Kardashians Christmas

Merry Christmas from the Kardashian Mafia!

There’s just so many things that don’t quite curl all the way over (like Little Luffa) about this picture. Can I count the ways? I could.

This picture has been airbrushed and photoshopped within an inch of all our lives. Not a pixel on this picture remained untouched. This is obvious because everyone in the picture is glistening, as if they used lotion that was a mixture of crisco, vaseline and baby oil. SUPER shiny. Between their faces and the shiny floor, this picture’s almost a mirror of itself.

Then, the whole MAFIA DON imagery they’re going for is just… All the men’s suits scream “I have a tailor on speed-dial and I used him for this shoot. This is why if I move an inch, my button will pop off). And the women are channeling “I support my husband the Don.” They even put the little adorable baby in that pinstripe suit, making him look like an heir to Al Capone’s throne. I guess…

The expressions on all their faces. This picture just SCREAMS zombies. If I have dreams of Kardashian Zombies invading the earth, blame this pic. Why aren’t y’all smiling? Could it be that your mansion isn’t big enough? Maybe the housekeeper didn’t buff the floor JUST right. It doesn’t help that many of the people in the picture have had facelifts and all types of tucks so their lack of expression could just be from too much botox too. Even Bruce Jenner, the father.

Shoutout to Kim for not only being the only one in a light color, but for wearing white, so she can truly stick out. I think not being the focus of the picture would have positively murked Kim!

And can I say how CREEPY that girl standing by Kim is??? Why does she look like an unDEAD FOR REAL? This picture is lowkey scary. She looks like the girl from The Ring in her teenaged years.

And shoutout to Lamar Odom for marrying into this family and having to partake in this shoot.

But can we ALL remember that this is supposed to be their CHRISTMAS card? Are they expecting people’s holidays to be a tad bit better because they took a picture that’s full of surgically-enhanced, marginally-talented, angsty-faced people rocking really tight clothes in a mansion?

When I showed folks on Twitter, many said this picture was channeling the Addams Family. I agree.

Ladies and gentleIGs, whatcha think of this picture?

P.S. Read the Gawker post on it because it is HILARIOUS!

Follow me on Twitter. Join me on Facebook.

Previous post

Damp Sweatah, Dry Heart

Next post

My Grandmother's The Crunkest

47 Comments

  1. Tee
    December 15, 2010 at 8:14 pm — Reply

    LaMar is just sooooo outta place

    • December 15, 2010 at 8:34 pm — Reply

      He IS! LOL

    • black and bald is beautiful
      December 29, 2010 at 3:28 pm — Reply

      Doesn’t he look like the main house negro,Jebediah???

    • black and bald is beautiful
      December 29, 2010 at 3:31 pm — Reply

      doesn’t he look like the main house negro on the plantation?

      • December 29, 2010 at 8:57 pm — Reply

        LMAOOOO @ main house negro! You’re so rude. But so right. I like you lol

  2. EJ
    December 15, 2010 at 8:27 pm — Reply

    There is too much bronzer on this photo, and they airbrushed Lamar’s head into a cone.

    • December 15, 2010 at 8:35 pm — Reply

      There’s prolly a shortage of bronzer in cali b/c of this pic.

      • December 17, 2010 at 4:06 am — Reply

        LAMO you so silly! I am sure they can import it or use Milani o__O ha ha ha

  3. December 15, 2010 at 8:32 pm — Reply

    The entire is airbrushed or smart blurred, whatever they used. Even without it, they’re all still an attractive family.

    I like the picture. I’m biased though. Funny, yes still… bias

    • December 15, 2010 at 8:35 pm — Reply

      They ARE an attractive family. They’re just really extra.

  4. December 15, 2010 at 8:44 pm — Reply

    They look like a vampire family. Merry Christmas? Don’t think so. Nobody’s smiling, not even the poor baby. Surprising that they went so dark with this, considering the whole Kardashian shtick is kind of a joke.

    • likeramona
      December 15, 2010 at 8:58 pm — Reply

      i was thinking that they’re channeling the vampire family from the twilight series *shrugs shoulders*

      • suetiful
        December 29, 2010 at 6:36 pm — Reply

        yes it did look very twilight-esque to me too..

        • December 29, 2010 at 8:53 pm — Reply

          It’s just ultra creepy. No bueno!

    • December 15, 2010 at 9:14 pm — Reply

      “Surprising that they went so dark with this, considering the whole Kardashian shtick is kind of a joke.”

      And there it is!

      • Scorpiana
        December 16, 2010 at 1:25 am — Reply

        WOMP!

    • Stacy
      December 17, 2010 at 2:10 pm — Reply

      YEESSSSS!!! I was thinking the same thing.. I was just thinking this is so True Blood

  5. Kay
    December 15, 2010 at 9:31 pm — Reply

    If this ain’t some 1980’s “Dynasty” bullshit…

    • December 17, 2010 at 4:05 am — Reply

      Ha ha ha I said the same thing!! We showing our age!!!

  6. AR
    December 15, 2010 at 9:46 pm — Reply

    They. cannot. be serious.

  7. legitimate_soul
    December 15, 2010 at 11:01 pm — Reply

    …lookin’ like a vampire Young & The Restless…

    • December 15, 2010 at 11:41 pm — Reply

      Bwaahahahaha!!!! It’s funny cuz it’s true!

  8. Margaret
    December 15, 2010 at 11:42 pm — Reply

    This picture is giving me Addams Family 2010 realness. Is it me or does Lamar now have a wonky eye? Also, Kim is alone because there aren’t enough steps for all her exes.

    • Scorpiana
      December 16, 2010 at 1:24 am — Reply

      Well, damb then!!

    • December 17, 2010 at 4:04 am — Reply

      ROTFL DEAD @Kim K’s EXs ….. O____O

  9. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by OluLuvvie AdeRatchet, Lovette A. Lovette A said: LOL Oh the Kardashians. Thanks for passing this along! :-) RT @kbestoliver: This oughta creep you out http://bit.ly/dEGrzE […]

  10. December 16, 2010 at 7:37 am — Reply

    I completely missed Rob in the photo, and the have poor Kylie looking like Morticia over there. The airbushing is heavy because because Lamar is over there looking like a cardboard cut out, but I am pretty sure he was there in Spirit. I like how they put Kourtney and Scott all the way over —->

  11. December 16, 2010 at 9:40 am — Reply

    They do this every year. I think it’s kinda cute.

  12. lilricks
    December 16, 2010 at 9:56 am — Reply

    Umm…so I thought this was a bit harsh. LOL!! Call me crazy or whatever, but I really like the Kardashians! I’m talking all things Kardashian! I thought it was beautiful pic!!

  13. Yoles
    December 16, 2010 at 10:51 am — Reply

    I like the picture… that being said….

    kourtney and scott can’t be on the Kardashian staircase because they are NOT married… that staircase is for the real family you are either born in or marry in lol

    i dont know who got last approval for the pic but they should have went “to the cloud” and placed another face on the pic of the girl next to kim.. she looks like zombie ballroom barbie over there with her devoid of any expression, flat affect, possibly mentally ill face

    i understand kim wants to pop but who wears a whit ball-gown for christmas… dreaming of a white christmas doesn’t mean you kim it just doesn’t…

    again i like the pic i need to get my family together and do the suburb of new york middle class edition!

    • Stacy
      December 17, 2010 at 2:12 pm — Reply

      LMAO at they should have went “to the cloud” ….Still LMAO!!!

  14. December 16, 2010 at 11:38 am — Reply

    the part that kills me is the lil boy in the pinstripe suit.

  15. MzBrownShugah
    December 16, 2010 at 11:48 am — Reply

    As soon as I looked at this photo I thought Addams family *snap snap* idk if that’s kendall or kylie but she does a perfect morticia in the lefthand corner. The whole thing is horrendous. Their grinch that stole xmas scowls are just brutal -____-

  16. December 16, 2010 at 12:36 pm — Reply

    Someone of Gawker commented “Who has on more makeup, Bruce or Kim?” iDied

  17. paintgurl40
    December 16, 2010 at 3:28 pm — Reply

    something’s not right with this picture….maybe a coffin in the background would help.

    • paintgurl40
      December 16, 2010 at 3:29 pm — Reply

      and some cobwebs. if this was for halloween it would be really cool, but christmas…WTF???

      • December 16, 2010 at 4:25 pm — Reply

        exactly!! this by far is NOT emitting a warm bubbly christmas feeling…at all! a fireplace even if all we could see were the flickers dancing on the wall, coming from the side would help!

  18. December 16, 2010 at 4:19 pm — Reply

    “i support my husband, the Don” nuff said, lmao!

  19. styleosophy
    December 16, 2010 at 8:44 pm — Reply

    Looks more like a Halloween photo…I think they missed a holiday.

  20. December 17, 2010 at 4:02 am — Reply

    Too much airbrush, too much Botox, too much plastic surgery!!!

    And tell me why they are all so distance from each other. They are supposed to be a loving family. This looks like a 2010 version of Dynasty or some kind of soap opera photo!

    Don’t get it twisted some the clothes in this pic are fierce but there is no love, no warmth and I don’t get family love here.

    Scott with his alcoholic ass… I thought they broke up. Baby is the only one being touched, more like held to keep from running away from them! And isn’t Kloe with child? Where are the smiles? Where is the happiness?

    I wonder if Kim K was still with Reggie would he have done this shoot and would they have at least been posing like they were in love? SMH

    #MajorEpicFail

  21. December 17, 2010 at 8:22 am — Reply

    […] gentleIGs, whatcha think of this picture?P.S. Read the Gawker post on it because it is HILARIOUS![ORIGINALLY POSTED HERE]Tagged as: Christmas, Kardashian Article by LuvvieLuvvie roasts and rants at AwesomelyLuvvie.com. […]

  22. MimiLumpkins
    December 17, 2010 at 11:42 am — Reply

    Thank you, Luvvie!

    I also thought that this “Christmas Card” picture reminds me of a promotional poster of a Martin Scorcese mafia movie.
    All you need is a cameo from Al Pacino or Robert De Niro.
    Is it just me or do anyone else believe that Kylie and Kendall are dress a bit too grown for this picture? They should’ve been wearing something more age-appropriate.
    I love how Kim had managed to make herself stand out with the white dress.

  23. December 18, 2010 at 12:23 am — Reply

    Hold up, if they have Lamar and Scott in that pic, what about Bruce and Brandon Jenner? Does E! completely own that family? Apparently Bruce’s sons aren’t on KUWTK because they are on MTV, but shouldn’t they be in the CARD? WTF?

  24. R.
    December 30, 2010 at 1:54 am — Reply

    I like Khloe’s dress & the color.

  25. MaryAnne
    January 18, 2011 at 3:14 pm — Reply

    Every time I look at this pathetic pic, I get the feeling that the Grinch was just there stealing Christmas 5 minutes ago and he left that green fuzzy thingy behind as evidence! In fact, I think he ran through so fast he knocked that girl down and that is how she ended up sitting on the bottom step.

  26. Darling_Nikki
    September 9, 2011 at 2:34 am — Reply

    What the hell kinda christmas card??…there’s so much off with it…like the baby standing next to Kim and her dead ass stare…it’s a family Christmas card…not Vogue Italia…but why does Scott look like he could one of the husbands you see on dateline for killing their wives or something like that…something doesn’t sit right in my spirit about him…

  27. December 20, 2011 at 3:08 pm — Reply

    you are spot on. i will say that Khloe’s dress is bangin’ tho.

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>