My Life

Allow Me to Re-introduce Myself

Happy New Year, folks!!! *does the cabbage patch* Yessssssss!!! So I hope you stayed outta trouble on the 31st. I’d hate to see any of you on FAILblog.com. By hate, I mean thoroughly enjoy. Anywho, in this new year, I wanted to get folks re-acquainted to the person behind the avatar. And I’ve gotten so many new readers in these past couple of months.

Who is Luvvie? Well glad you didn’t ask. I’ma tell you anyway!

I am... Luvvie Fierce

Besides that, I’m a thug. And this is proven by the fact that I’ve watched “Titanic” 3 times and never cried once. Besides, that one time I did get the sniffles, it was because my allergies were acting up. Through leaky eyes. O___o. My roast game is doper than a crackhead. My shoe game is tighter than John Legend’s vest. And my smile game trumps a cheshire cat’s. Yes. It’s like that.

Like the diabeetus of someone who puts sugar on her spaghetti…
Like Lil Kim’s plastic surgery bill…
Like Snooki’s hair poof…
Unlike Chingy’s record sales…
STILL I RISE.
Phenomenal ratchetness, phenomenally. That’s me.
*pays homage to Maya Angelou*

Hehe. So… it’s your turn! I’d like to know about y’all, my FANTAWESOME readers. Who are you and where are you from? What brought you here? Do you love rice? You know, the important things! If you do it in rhyme or ratchet metaphors, you get extra points (which can’t buy you much but my admiration). But even if you can’t, still leave your peace. I’d like to hear from you. *pulls the lurkers out the shadows* SHOMMON!

Follow me on Twitter. Join me on Facebook. Check out my Shoe Blog.

122 Comments

  1. January 3, 2011 at 8:53 am — Reply

    I’ve been lurking for a very long time. I follow you on Twitter,tumblr and Facebook. Um, that sounds just a tad creepy. I promise I’m harmless. I coordinate fuckery and then let people run with it (i.e. post a ratchet pic on Twitter without saying a word). I think what makes you the most hilarious is that you’re so cute. You seem all harmless and then fuckery rears its head…lmao.

    Anyway doe…I’m Niki, I live right above you in Milwaukee (yes I hate it), I’m a graphic designer. I love rice,food in general, traveling, reading, drawing, painting,shopping,lounging.I love learning about different people/places and I write a hip-hop blog, since it’s my second love.
    I love to fluff my fro back n foaf.

    Oh, and you caught my attention via Resha…so I’m sure that would explain a lot since we know she ain’t shit.

    • January 3, 2011 at 3:55 pm — Reply

      Don’t worry, it doesn’t sound creepy. I want folks to come w/ me to my different eSpaces so it’s ALL good! I like the fact that you’re a fuckery coordinator though.

      You’re in Milwaukee? Is it DUMB cold up there? Is Milwaukee worse than Chicago?

      And yeah, Resha ain’t an ounce of shit. And I love her.

  2. Kay
    January 3, 2011 at 8:57 am — Reply

    Morting Luv Bug,

    I go by Kay, and like you, I’m a side eye connoisseur, and will make the tuffest Deebo weep…People in my office tip toe extra quiet by my cubbie hole, cause they already know I’m the cutiest thug that will get all up in yo ish…I stubbled across your page from The Cynical One (Houston native shout out)…anywho, you seem to always make the thug in me yell out with laughter!!!
    *proceeds to do the black girl stomp*
    My name is Kay, my numbers 2, my reputation is me & you, so if you see me, just step aside, cause mighty Kay dont take no jive!

    • January 3, 2011 at 3:56 pm — Reply

      KAY!!!! Wattup #doe?? I can tell through your comments that your side-eye is lethal. I can just tell. AND you get cool points for using “jive.” 70s slang was bout that life.

  3. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by OluLuvvie AdeRatchet. OluLuvvie AdeRatchet said: New AweLuv post: Allow Me to Re-introduce Myself http://bit.ly/dShfyH [...]

  4. January 3, 2011 at 10:00 am — Reply

    *waves* Hey Ya’ll!

    I’m Kourtney and I’m from DC. Initially I started following you on Twitter Luvvie due to retweets that left me crying laughing. That lead me to your site which still leaves me crying laughing.

    I’m not exactly a wig snatcher(at least not online heehee) but my smart mouth/severely sarcastic side has been known to drop jaws and get me in trouble. But I means no harm!! *pageant smile* Aside from that I’m chill people–spending time w/ family or chilling with a good book(or blog) keeps me happy. Still so glad I found this site! Here’s to a great 2011!

    • January 3, 2011 at 4:04 pm — Reply

      Hey Kourtney! Thanks for the love! I hope you can continue to be glad you found my little corner of the intrawebs! :-D

  5. January 3, 2011 at 12:14 pm — Reply

    *waves* Heyyyy
    I’m Laura Luna, the Duchess of Dyke hailing from La La land (aka Land of fake boobs and botox) I found you on twitter and am addicted. Many blessings to you in 2011!

    • January 3, 2011 at 4:04 pm — Reply

      LMAO!!! Why did your comment make me cackle so? HEY LAURA!

  6. January 3, 2011 at 12:16 pm — Reply

    Aftanoon, erryones!!

    I’m Nikki, I’m from da DMV, and i’on even remember how I stumbled on to this site. Luvvie has kept me in stitches since day one (last summer?).

    I work, I read, I parent (two kids: 12 y/o daughter and 34 y/o fiance), I drive, I work, I read, I twitter, and that’s bout it. *curtsies*

    • January 3, 2011 at 4:05 pm — Reply

      NIKKAAAYY!!! What it do? Truly appreciate your support. And your comments. YOU DA BESS!

  7. January 3, 2011 at 12:53 pm — Reply

    *slides in like Martin*

    Wazzup, wazzup, WAZZZZZAAAAP!

    I’m Cheekie. Honorably named “Cheekie Mae by the Beezykins of Beez Hunny. I’m from the Chi and YES I love rice. I even got some for Christmas. *four fistpumps in a row* I got dem cheeks you wanna pinch on face, and dem other pair are pinchable if you nasty. And by “nasty”, I mean “Idris Elba.”

    • January 3, 2011 at 4:05 pm — Reply

      I LOVE IDRIS!!! Ok now that that’s outta way. CHEEKIE!!! I heart you!

  8. Princes_jasmen
    January 3, 2011 at 1:08 pm — Reply

    Hellur…. Princess_Jasmen here I hail from Houston… lucked upon Luvie through the ninjanets… proceeded to stalk her through various means, here, twitah, shoe blog, I dont really do the side-eye but my raised eye brow has been known to evacuate a room and make people back out of my office at work like they saw a weapon…. Oh yeah rice is nice

    • January 3, 2011 at 3:52 pm — Reply

      Your side-eye evacuates rooms??? This is HIGHLY impressive. Kudos!

  9. Stacy
    January 3, 2011 at 2:06 pm — Reply

    Hi all,
    My name is Stacy for the NY, Long(strong)Island to be exact Selling straight talk with no chaser everytime. Since my opinion is sacred I realy ever share it but if you ask… hey! I love rice like a mutha but rice dont love me back, give me the gift of poundage this season, so we broke up.

    Stumbled upon your blog from the Naturally Leslie hair blog site and never looked back. My first read was that post you had about dude on the bus that you had to let have it. Snickering ensued and graduated to full blown laughter. You got me with the ‘For Black Girls..’post but I had to come out the dark when you posted about Twitter Grief. FIYAH!!

    The thing I love most about the site (besides the post) are the comments.. LAWDAMERCY!!! the devil is in the details and in your case the ratchedness is in the feedback.

    Looking forward to more chuckles this year.

    • January 3, 2011 at 3:36 pm — Reply

      YESSSSS to finding me through Alise’ blog. Girl that old man shoulda gotten dropkicked. But yes, thanks for dropping in!

  10. beesgirl
    January 3, 2011 at 2:46 pm — Reply

    I definitely found your foolish rachetry through twitter when I had an account. I no longer do, but I stalk many a twitter page including yours & your blog for my weekly funnies…

    I live in Atlanta, but originally from Maryland.

    I am actually very sweet but the older I get, my side eyes have become a more reglah part of my repertoire.

    Rice is the Alicia to my SwizzBeats, the Jay to my Beyonce and the wonky eye to that chic from Flavor of Love – Season 1 (Hottie).

    And I been giving you severe side eyes remotely for not responding to an email I sent you like 5 years ago abt a dream I had abt you and areefuhstanklin…even though we never met.

    Ok, I officially sound creepy.

    • January 3, 2011 at 3:00 pm — Reply

      I remember when you had an account on Twitter!!! Why’d ya leave??? And LOL to your rice relationship. Yes. You clearly rocks.

      I DID respond to that email. I PROMISE I did! Lemme go find it in my gmail. I always reply! But lemme go check antyway.

      • beesgirl
        January 3, 2011 at 3:23 pm — Reply

        It’s all good Mama AdeRatchet. I left twitter cause my Bro Franklin wasn’t good enough to keep that devil behind me.

        • January 3, 2011 at 4:06 pm — Reply

          You’ve got mail! :-D Finally. Lawd… I’ma do better.

  11. beesgirl7
    January 3, 2011 at 3:36 pm — Reply

    aaannnddd since we’re on the subject:

    http://cdn.concreteloop.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/12/hottie.jpg

    And no, she’s not dead!

    • January 3, 2011 at 4:07 pm — Reply

      I just… LAWD. Why is her hairhat always so straw-like?

  12. January 3, 2011 at 3:47 pm — Reply

    why are her eyes so wide?? lol

    • beesgirl
      January 3, 2011 at 3:52 pm — Reply

      precisely.

  13. January 3, 2011 at 4:35 pm — Reply

    Hi!

    I “found” you via Slim Jackson. I follow you on Twitter and Tumblr. {{I need to find your fbk}}. I think the first thing I read on your site was your “Would You Rather” post. I think I commented too.

    I’m a Ga Peach {{born/raised in Atlanta}} and find it extremely funny that I’m allergic to peaches.

    I have a relationship with rice in that I LOVE broccoli rice casserole (if you let me, I’ll eat it all in two days). I’m a petite woman who lives to eat.

    I’ve been leisurely writing for about 4 years and recently got some encouragement to take it to the next level. I’m working on that {{any words of wisdom?}}. By the way, I don’t write stories, I just write my thoughts on EVERYthing b/c it’s therapeutic. I blog too on Tumblr

    With the exception of a few characteristics I’m a true Pisces with a great love for God, Ludacris, Ray Lewis, and food (among other things).

    • January 3, 2011 at 4:38 pm — Reply

      Oh yeah, I LOVE how you write the way people (I say ppl b/c I’ve never “heard” you) talk. I.E.
      your word “wayment”. there are others but that was the first to come to mind.

    • January 3, 2011 at 11:43 pm — Reply

      What’s popping Ashley? My Facebook page is: http://www.facebook.com/AwesomelyLuvvie. Join in! Words of wisdom for blogging? Stay true to yourself. That’s the short version. Email me if you need specifics.

      You’re dope for stopping by! :-D

  14. January 3, 2011 at 4:45 pm — Reply

    Well guess I #minuswell comment since I can from my phone. I been lurking for about a year and a half. We have some mutual innanet friends and we read each other’s blogs #shoutout to @dijones82 and @tstevens312 for putting me on) that is how I ranned across your foolery. I stopped blogging for a while, not because I had low selves of steem, that was #Elegend, I just wasn’t feeling it anymore. There was always someone who was offended by what I wrote. I didn’t like ppl to be offended. Then I kept reading you and T’s blog and a few others and was like eff it. I’m gonna say what I want. You guys inspired me and I ain’t got no #arterialmotives neither.

    • January 3, 2011 at 11:41 pm — Reply

      This ENTAH comment is a supreme WIN! Just… YESSSS!!! Definitely keep blogging. Your thoughts will probably offend at least one person. It’s impossible to have everyone happy, so just (as the urban youths say) DO YOU!

  15. Ex
    January 3, 2011 at 4:47 pm — Reply

    Stumbled across the ‘How Not To Holla’ article (even though someone else wrote it, but…) when looking for a Google image of the word ‘Holla’ one day and BAM, it was a wrap. Been laughing ever since, especially since I had to read the whole site to catch up. It gets so outrageous that I had to tell all my friends. Keep up the ratchedness!

    • January 3, 2011 at 11:40 pm — Reply

      Thanks for dropping in and whatnot! Giving me the warm and fuzzies! :-D

  16. January 3, 2011 at 4:50 pm — Reply

    “Hold fast to tweets, cuz when tweets die,
    life is tyrese’s logic; it doesn’t fly.
    Hold fast to tweets, for when tweets go,
    life is raz-b’s open butthole. ”

    GIRRRRRRLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Waddup? It’s Will. (randumcharacter on Twitter) and I have too much time on my hands right now. I’m 23 y/o libra from Baltimore, and enjoy a good rice with some cilantro. I teach little children, and plan to go back to school soon.

    I followed you from either XD or Resha, so..yeah. That should give you a good idea about me. I’ve been called an ig’nant wig snatcher and a shady bitch among others, none of these I admit too. I’m just honest. I continued to follow you, in all honesty, because I imagine your tweets being said in the voice of Cita from “Cita’s World” (do you remember that? No? Ok.)and it brings me the utmost joy.

    I read your blog every now and then (a lot more recently) and you, as you know and as I have told you, ain’t shit. You make me laugh, when I don’t want to. And for that, I thank you.

    PS: I hope you enjoyed the poem. Merry Christmas in advance.

    • January 3, 2011 at 5:08 pm — Reply

      I remember Cita and IMEJUTLY thought of her when I first laid eyes on Luvvie’s avatar.

    • January 3, 2011 at 11:35 pm — Reply

      WILLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!! Wattup #doe? Clearly, you follow the Conglomerate of Ignance on Twitter w/ XD and Resha. Them 2 lack everything mildly related to sense.

      And iRebuke you for thinking I’d sound like Cita. I don’t use brown gel. Nor do I shop at Dots. TAKE THAT BACK! hmph! But umm… Merry Christmas in advance #doe? I just… iCan’t w/ you.

  17. January 3, 2011 at 4:50 pm — Reply

    Hi Everyone!! I’m Erica from Charlotte, NC, and I am a proud graduate of North Carolin A&T (Aggie Pride!!). I am an engineering project manager and realtor who loves eating, traveling, shopping, reading, and pure ratchet foolishness. I’m a loyal lurker, but you bring joy and happiness into my life Every.Single.Day. I originally started following your blog, but I also follow you on twitter now. I look forward to your posts because you have me literally laughing out loud at work and my area is quieter than a library. Needless to say, all of the old nerds I work with give me major side eye. I will always remember the chest pains I had in a training class from holding in my laughter for 30 minutes after you posted “Drop Kick Me Jesus Through The Goal Posts of Life.” That gave me life and is still my bestie’s ringtone to this day!!! No matter how I feel, your posts always make me laugh. You’re like e-Lexapro. Don’t ever stop what you’re doing!!

    • January 3, 2011 at 11:33 pm — Reply

      What it be like, Erica? Your bestie’s ringtone will NOT be “Dropkick me Jesus.” LMAO! That is ultimate foolery. Thanks for dropping in!

  18. Bridgette
    January 3, 2011 at 4:59 pm — Reply

    Hello all-

    Let’s start with the questions first:
    I’m from Memphis, TN
    I don’t know how I when I started following you on twitter but I definitely started following your comments. Now I’m following your blog and via facebook. Can we say hilarioum?

    And rice… I loves me some rice and my country ass loves it wit good ol butter and sugar.

    Let’s see if I can put something together *clears throat*
    I have over 20 years of side eyed experience and quick to put sum rachet epic fails in check. Quick to holla lawdamercy at absolute tomfoolery.

    And I still don’t know how to dougie
    or the do the pretty girl rock
    or the Supa man for that matter….

    But I’m still that beesh!!!
    Holllllaaaaa (c) Frankie (keyshia cole’s mama)

    *drops mic and walks off stage and yells sexual chocolate*

    • January 3, 2011 at 11:32 pm — Reply

      HA! Hey Bridgette! I;m a self-taught dougie-ist myself. No one has ever taught me how to dougie. I just took the initiative.

  19. January 3, 2011 at 5:11 pm — Reply

    I’m Tyler. I write. And I read this blog religiously. That is all.

    • January 3, 2011 at 11:31 pm — Reply

      Word. Thanks for stopping by!

      • January 4, 2011 at 3:23 pm — Reply

        No doubt.

  20. Uche
    January 3, 2011 at 5:13 pm — Reply

    Oh hey, it’s Uche! I’m here representing Naija/Dallas all day ooo! LOL! I’ve been a LONG time lurker/random commenter. I can’t quite remember how I got to your blog…I’m thinking it was either through your comments on VSB or another awesome black blogger=o) All I know is that I’ve LOVED your blog so much!

    • Uche
      January 3, 2011 at 5:15 pm — Reply

      And oh yeah, rice is THE BEST! About eat some right now, actually, lol

    • January 3, 2011 at 11:27 pm — Reply

      NAIJA LOVE!!! Thanks for the readership, Uche!

  21. Mica
    January 3, 2011 at 5:28 pm — Reply

    Happy New Year to you Luvvie! I’ve discovered you by sheer boredom when my work access were not working and my supervisor suggested I read up on new procedures. Imagine me trying to muffle my laughter! Tears were streaming down my eyes! My co-workers thought I was in pain. That’s when I had to share! Low and behold, we were all in tears from reading you because we couldn’t laugh out loud.

    I live in Montreal but was born and raised in beautiful (yes it still is) Haiti. I see a lot of me in you or is it the other way around since I’m older than you? All I know now before I read your blog I visit my comfort station first!

    Looking forward to more ratchetness this year!

    Mica

    • January 3, 2011 at 11:25 pm — Reply

      MICA!!! What’s popping? So you were sposed to read up on new procedures and ended up here. I ain’t mad. Don’t have ur boss email me like “Luvvie, you got my whole staff playing bald-headed games.”

      SHOURROUT TO HAITI!!!

  22. Acquanetta
    January 3, 2011 at 5:44 pm — Reply

    Yeah that’s my name. I choke pens and snort graphically. But really I have been a fan over a year. Rice is aight..’specially friii riiii. Anyways I visit you when I need a good laugh. Praying for your continued fuckstation…ratchetlibations Oh I live in the Texas.

    • January 3, 2011 at 11:22 pm — Reply

      Hey Aquanetta, girl! I’m especially a fan of Shri fry rye. But yes, may ratchetery reign!!!

  23. January 3, 2011 at 5:52 pm — Reply

    What up Luvvie? I am NY2VA aka NewYork2VA aka Tash from Queens. I was raised in NY, but I currently reside in VA. I am a mama, a wife, a friend, a homegirl, a sister friend, a karate expert and my favorite meal is bruffuslunchandinna.

    I am a fan of all things f*ckery related. I’ve got a mean side eye, but my BLANK STARE is EPIC. That coupled with my SLOW BLINK… yeah… it’s like that. I have been known break a lying a$$ teenager down in less than 10 minutes.

    I found your blog through FlyBlackChick and I was hooked from the moment I clicked onto the link. Madame Cameroon’s Lethal Side-Eye threw me into a laughing/crying frenzy and that was it for me. I have been known to roast a h*e or twelve, but DAMN. You and Kindred be slayin em! I have wasted hours of my employer’s time reading and guffawing. I just got a promotion today. I pray they don’t ever check my computer history lol!

    Oh yeah, and I broke down and joined the twittuh this weekend. I’m still trying to figure it all out, but y’all be trippin over there.

    • January 3, 2011 at 11:21 pm — Reply

      Wattup NY2VA?? LMAOOOOOOO @ your favorite meal being “bruffuslunchandinna.” Girl… A MESS. Congrats on the promotion!!! :-D

    • Stacy
      January 4, 2011 at 3:36 pm — Reply

      @bruffuslunchandinna. MEEE TOOOO!!

  24. January 3, 2011 at 5:59 pm — Reply

    Hi! My name is Nicki and I’ve been lurking for a few months or so now. I really don’t remember how I found out about your blog. I think it was Twitter. I’ve been lurking on Twitter too. Sorry I’m not nearly as funny. I actually contacted you about blog design but I’m unemployed so I’m still saving up the money so I can one day hire you. I’ve pushed back my launch probably twice now.

    Anywhoo…that’s it. Oh I love rice. My idea of grocery shopping is rice, cookies and wine. Everything else is superfluous.

    • January 3, 2011 at 11:19 pm — Reply

      Hey Nicki! You’ont gotta be funny to comment here. Come one, come all. I might have enough ratchetness for us all. So don’t feel pressha. Whenever you’re ready for the blog design, you know where to find me! :-D

  25. Nicole
    January 3, 2011 at 6:11 pm — Reply

    Heyyy Luvvie!

    I’m Nicole…from San Diego, CA. I can’t even remember how I came about your site but I LOVE IT. It’s probably been a year or more since I’ve been reading. I’ve left a comment or two before. It’s been a while though.

    I follow you on Twitter, Facebook and of course this here site. You keep me crackin up. You keep my co-workers looking at me like “WTF she laffin bout?”.

    You have a fan in me…keep ‘em comin! Can’t wait to see what you get into this year! Your letters are my fav.

    And oh yeah, I like rice. lol And food in general. It’s ALL good. You can prob tell by my waistline. lol

    Peace

    • January 3, 2011 at 11:18 pm — Reply

      NICOLEEE!!!You’ve been w/ me for a year? WOWSIES! You’re lowkey an Awesomely Luvvie veteran. I shall be having more letter this year. Tryna do one a week. *crosses fingers*

  26. Jay Wes
    January 3, 2011 at 5:29 pm — Reply

    My name is jay and I have a blog called “Jay The Bohemian Diva”…Hailing from the NYC, I found you on facebook on one of my friends pages (sorry, I do not remember which friend)and read a post that was pretty witty so I “liked” you. I enjoy your posts. Happy New Year to you. :)

    • January 3, 2011 at 11:22 pm — Reply

      Wattup Jay! Yayyyy! So Facebook IS good for something!

  27. GIna
    January 3, 2011 at 6:33 pm — Reply

    What up doe,Luvie?! I’m Gina from the D (Detroit)…living in that other D (Dallas). I get my daily dose of fuckery and ratchetness following you on twitter. iLurk iRetweet iRepost iSideye iBlankstare iGinashrug and on an occasion iDougie.

    I’ve been waiting for you to do a blog on phony baloney’s,so i can list all the phony ish i witness on fb.

    I like my rice sticky on a sushi roll.

    • January 3, 2011 at 11:16 pm — Reply

      It’s so COLD in the D! Hey Gina! Much love for the love you show my site. ‘Preshacate you! Yes, preshacate. I could write a tome bout phony people. Maybe I will…

  28. January 3, 2011 at 6:45 pm — Reply

    Hey Girl, hey.
    So, I’m Ndygo Sunshyne. My gubment will remain anonymous cuz I’m a teacher & Ionteven know who’s out here patrollin these streets. That means my name on Facebook & my name here might don’t match.

    I live in Chocolate City, by way of VA, by way of Colorado Springs, by way of the Chi, by way of New Mexico. & now that I’ve told you that, I may as well have listed my gubment cuz ain’t too many w/that list that I could possibly remain incognegro now.

    Anywho, I’m light skint & rice ain’t my thang, unless it’s of the jolof (sp) sort, or jasmine or basmati. I like my rice boughie.

    I come thru cuz you speak my language. I’m all about that foolywang & your fooly game is PROPER! So, thanks for havin me & I’ma gon’ back into my coh’na. Oh, I’ve quoted you in my own blog, giving you credit of course & I see summa my folks have come on over to your team as well. Spread love=Ratchet Reigns.

    I’m out. But I gotsta tell you that the challenge to make it rhyme made me wanna break out my twins from Coming To America routine. Y’all ain’t ready. LMAO!!

    *scurries off*

    • January 3, 2011 at 11:15 pm — Reply

      What it be like, Ndygo? Dang, you’re all far-traveled! LOL @ “I’m light skint and rice ain’t my thing.” Cole, you stoopid. But I like you. I like you a lot. This comment was full of foolery.

  29. CAMILLE
    January 3, 2011 at 7:38 pm — Reply

    Luvvie what a gwaan????

    I’m Camille and I think you are too damn funny! I came across your blog via a RT from twitter (the 25 dumbest tweets) and I have been hooked on the blog and following you on twitter since. You KEEP me laughing, crying laughing actually and sharing the jokes with some of my friends who don’t understand sometimes so I have to break it down in patois for them and it’s still damn funny.

    I like rice double dose cuz I’m black and half chinese!

    • January 3, 2011 at 11:14 pm — Reply

      Yoooooo Camille!!! Aw snapppp! I love patois! It reminds me of Nigerian pidgin English. You black and chinese? #OhYouFancyHuh? LOL

  30. Ryan
    January 3, 2011 at 7:42 pm — Reply

    *stands up* Hello. My name is Ryan (Crim5onViolet on Twitter). I don’t quite remember how I found you and your foolery but I do know it was on Twitter. After I dried the laugher induced tears I proceeded to find your Facebook, other blogs (I LOVE shoes too btw), and I even stumbled upon your YouTube the other day.

    I currently reside in Memphis, TN where there is an abundance of ratchetness and foolery (I have a FB photo album to prove it). My smart-mouth/sarcasm/sense of humor have been known to get me into trouble but I’m on a mission against foolishness. Oh, and I enjoy a good *wall-slide* erry now and then too but I LIVE to see the girls on Maury Povich wall-sliding… PURE HILARITY!!

    P.S. That 25 Worst Tweets of 2010 did my heart all the good in the world!! I laughed til I was outta breff!!! THANKYA!!

    • January 3, 2011 at 11:12 pm — Reply

      Hey RAHN! Yes, I called you RAHN. Twitter brings all the foolery to this yard. Welcome! And indeed, the HE IS NOT THE FATHER *wall slide* is a powerful one. I should make my version of that.

      • Ryan
        January 4, 2011 at 12:37 am — Reply

        LOL!! You may call me RAHN… Since I’m Southern that’s pretty much the way my name is pronounced ’round here.

        PLEASE DO make that *wall slide* video so I can favorite it on the YouTube!!

        Oh and I forgot to add that I love rice also. It reminds me of my mommy as it was her favorite dish. Buttered and suga’d or chicken fry-riii and I’m GOOD!!

        • January 5, 2011 at 12:09 am — Reply

          I already got 1 *wall slide* vidjo on the YouTubes. Have you seent it? And lol @ chicken fry-riiiii. I prefer shri fry rye myself.

  31. soheavenleigh
    January 3, 2011 at 8:03 pm — Reply

    Hi LuvvBug! My name is Towanda and i’m from Richmond, VA. Let’s see…I only like rice if it’s in a burrito bowl from Chipotle, I have perfected my ‘work chair’ slide when i get mentally murked on the j-o-b, and i have also tried to make my friends read your site, and if they didn’t get it for any reason…then I e-divorced them and picked them last for kickball.

    • January 3, 2011 at 11:10 pm — Reply

      Hey Towanda! Chipotle rice bowls ARE delicious! I ain’t e’em gon front. And LMAO @ picking them last in kickball. I’ont blame you. But I’m biased soo…

  32. Nono
    January 3, 2011 at 8:46 pm — Reply

    Hey! I’m Nono, short for Nonotthejacket! I found you through Gem at Rainbow Lens & Very Smart Brothas, if I ‘memba it right! Lurked for a while then I just had to post after too much hollering at work. I had to start following you on Twiitter after that, now I follow you on Tumblr. I’ll never leave the rachet now that I’ve found it! I likes mah rice, but like Soheavenleigh I like it best from Chipotle, fried with some poak or the way my momma makes it with milk and sugar (tho you got to try the Birds-Eye Steamfresh chicken-flavored rice; u might fight somebody).

    • January 3, 2011 at 10:57 pm — Reply

      NONO!!! What up #doe? YESSS @ never leaving me. LOVE IT!!! Rice w/ milk and sugar? I’ve never had it like that. Hmm…

      • Nono
        January 4, 2011 at 9:51 am — Reply

        Girl, I grew up on that stuff. One of my best memories is my and my sis sitting at our own little white table in the kitchen having some rice and milk… good times!

  33. MsEvababy!
    January 3, 2011 at 9:42 pm — Reply

    Hey Luv!

    I hail from Denver and found you through your hilarious commentary on VSB. I am new to the blog world and have become so addicted that my sisters are talking about an intervention. My side eye raised eyebrow combination is so fierce that I have probably busted a vessel or two doing it. I look forward to spending way to much time with you and the rest of the BBB’s (Black Blog Beasts)this year.

    • January 3, 2011 at 10:55 pm — Reply

      Whattup Eva?!? I LOVE “Black Blog Beasts.” That’s lowkey dope! And lol at your kinfolk tryna stage an intervention. It be’s like that sometimes.

      • MsEvababy!
        January 3, 2011 at 11:17 pm — Reply

        Thanks (whips hair back and forth ala Willow Smith)!

  34. legitimate_soul
    January 3, 2011 at 10:04 pm — Reply

    I’m near that place that sells the red-velvet fried chicken and I wanna try it but I’s ‘scurred’. Can you imagine getting turned out by chicken? *absently scratching* “Sign the treaty, baby!”…

    Anywho, I’m a music lover, a hip hop fiend, a creative spirit, a scholarly lover of ignent isht, an avid reader of fiction, a macaroni and cheese connoisseur, all around good people and I likes jasmine rice, white rice, brown rice, dirty rice, Spanish rice, rice pillaf, Rice-a-Roni, risotto, and jollof rice.

    I found this lovely blog through VSB and FreshXPress and I always check for it. Miss Luvvie is hilarious!

    • January 3, 2011 at 10:49 pm — Reply

      You MUST try the red velvet fried chicken. DO IT FOR THE PEOPLE! YESSSS you know jollof rice. Then you SUPER cool w/ me. Shoo… lemme find out I’m coming to cali. I’ll ask for ALL of the above from you. Kthx! :-D

  35. likeramona
    January 3, 2011 at 10:29 pm — Reply

    i hail from the chi, loves me some rice (it’s a meal all on it’s own) & i need a detox from u!
    any time u can make a grown azz woman laugh hysterically on public transportation u sho nuff ignant (totally disregard that detox comment, i loves me some fuckery!).
    shooo i can’t even remember how i fount u! i’m thinking it was a retweet on twitta. that blanche devereaux geriatric ho shit comment damn near kilt me. that one comment let me know that yo arse was ignant as all get out. so here i is on ya blog, facebook, shoe blog & redpump ALL LUVVIE er’thang!
    keep up the awesome work =)

    • January 3, 2011 at 10:47 pm — Reply

      CHITOWN STAND UP!!!! You’ont need detox from me. I’m like crack. Except I don’t make you scratch your body randomly. And I’m not snortable.

  36. Dr. Kiti
    January 3, 2011 at 10:38 pm — Reply

    I’m a female fan from the Bay Area, California (Richmond to be exact) and a smooth and classy thug. A hoodrat of the highest order. I somehow snuck into college, creeped into grad school and I am now entrusted with the young minds of America; I am a shrink! They let a hoodrat like me become a shrink!

    Anywho, I love this blog. You have truly inspired me to up my shoe game and get back to slaying hoes on the daily like I used to back in 2003 when I was young, draped in expensive Babyphat (not the shit they sold at TJ Max or Marshall’s) and skin-ty. Luvvie, you are the wind beneath my wings!

    • January 3, 2011 at 10:46 pm — Reply

      Ok LMAO @ “they let a hoodrat like me become a shrink.” WHY is this sooooo funny??? Thanks for the love, Dr. Kiti! I’m sure you slay hoes intellectually.

    • Stacy
      January 4, 2011 at 3:46 pm — Reply

      They let a hoodrat like me become a shrink! –
      THAT RIGHT THERE DID IT..Im shutting down the computer

      • January 5, 2011 at 12:02 am — Reply

        Right! Ain’t she outrageous???

  37. January 3, 2011 at 10:47 pm — Reply

    Long version or short? Haha! I am the infamous Wine Fairy. AKA that crazy white bitch with the bottle of wine offering it to strangers… AHHAH!

    Mother of two, with a SURPRISE third on the way, and part time professional blogger… Nothing special! LOL

    • January 3, 2011 at 11:29 pm — Reply

      WINE FAIRY!!! *hugs you* You clearly have a special place in my heart. YOU DA BESS, D! And yeah, you’re finally getting a little princess. See ya in San Diego!

  38. ProudMary
    January 3, 2011 at 10:52 pm — Reply

    Hold up wait a minute! Let me put some Duval in it! Hey child. I’m from Jacksonville aka The Bang’em (where they hang em bang em and slang em). I’m so hood (sikeaberry). I’ve been reading you forever and a day. But this is my first time commenting. Luvs the Ratchness, you hear me?

    • January 3, 2011 at 11:28 pm — Reply

      LMAO @ putting some Duval in it. That gahtdamb leprechaun. Anywho, thanks for the love, ProudMary! So glad you delurked. Don’t be a stranger! :-D

  39. honee
    January 3, 2011 at 10:28 pm — Reply

    Hey Ms. Luvvie,

    My name is Deisha residing in Al originally from the Chi. I saw an old YT vid of you demonstrating the wall slide & ive been a stan ever since. Im a notorious lurker for fear my rachetness is not up to par. I think you are hilarious & when I log on to Twitter I look forward to your tweets. Keep doing what you do!!!!
    Oh yeah my rice(brown)game is proper, I eat it about 4/5 times a week

    • January 3, 2011 at 10:48 pm — Reply

      Hey Deisha! More Chitown love?! NICE! Ah yes, the *wall slide* vidjo. Good times… And I like your rice dedication. I eat it daily.

  40. Luxurylatte
    January 3, 2011 at 11:35 pm — Reply

    Hello!

    My name is Tricia :) Born and raised in the Bay Area, currently living between hell and high water aka Oakland and Berkeley. Yes, the land of hyphy/ebonics and the people who still wear tie-dye and pachouli surround be on both sides. Pray for me…

    Like many others, i’m getting into blogging/social media and also enrolling in classes to train as a computer tech. That whole changing career path thing. I love to laugh and eat, fav being cheeseburgers. I know I found your blog via someones retweet, but it was so long ago I don’t remember who. Don’t matter, they not getting paid for it.

    So anyway that’s it for me! Oh and as for rice, I love practically all of it except Rice-a-Roni. That ish is an abomination.

    • January 5, 2011 at 12:11 am — Reply

      Hey Tricia! The Bay area you say? Girl that means u aint far from the restaurant that sells red velvet fried chicken. You should go get some on my behalf. And ship some here. :-D

  41. January 4, 2011 at 12:55 am — Reply

    I Am Your People, because you need new people. By you, I mean Snooki, who has a new novel out. 0____O

    • January 5, 2011 at 12:08 am — Reply

      WIN!!! This is WIN! Well, not Snooki’s novel. That’s the opposite of WIN. I don’t even think FAIL is a strong enough word.

  42. Ms. Heaven
    January 4, 2011 at 6:37 am — Reply

    Luvvie! What it do boo? This is Heaven, I was introduced to your blog when I started a new job that had almost unlimited innerwebs access & asked folks to send me sites to keep me busy while I was pretending to work. O_O

    I think we’re distant kinfolk. Rice is a gift from God. Point blank period, & I’ll fight somebody if they try to say different. I’m a thug to the bone, but movies like The Lion King make my allergies act up & stuff. I hate people that try to correct other folks mistakes on Facebook…but have no grasp of the English language. WTF did you just say? What you won’t do is think you gone correct me talmbout “naw Boo, I think you meant to say your phone won’t corporate with you, not cooperate.” *throws dictionary* Reading is fundamental, not fun in mental fool!

    Anywho, if you happen to have a cousin or other single male relative…tell him to come holla atcha girl so we can get married & ya’ll kinfolk can make it rain for real…the way you describe those parties is off the chain! lol! Keep us laughing in 2011!

    • January 5, 2011 at 12:07 am — Reply

      Heaven!!! Hey hun! I like the way you think. I thinks we can be frens. *smize* But yeah girl, Naija parties? EPIC THINGS!!!

  43. January 4, 2011 at 10:51 am — Reply

    *wall slides into despair* for the lengthiest comment EVAH being SNATCHED by the MAN!! Ugh.

    Please serve Chipotle at the my repast, & the lemonade from Chick-Fil-A. Thanks.

    I’m CB from the DMV; that rhymed… lol. *does the dougie*
    I think I found you via the folks over at SBM. I’m is on your Twittuh too.

    The amount of ratchetness I participate in on a daily basis should be a illegal. My friends and I set-up a public school to help the babygirls/bathroom mirror models of the world, BabyGirlPublicSchool. I am the acting Principal, Wig Snatcher Extraordinare.

    As an honorary OG babygirl model:
    I promise to never buy remy only the finest synethic hairs will do
    I promise to always renew my annual membership at Rave, Wet Seal & 5/7/9
    I promise to faithfully be at the club before 10 for free.
    I promise to always refer to stores such as Macy’s as classy & upscale
    I promise to always haggle w/ my friends over the check at a restaurant b/c I only ordered chicken tenders.
    I promise you will never see my parts when I get rows of corn.
    I promise to never forget where I came from & how blessed I am to be lightskinned.
    I promise my clothes will always be too tight or ill fitting.
    I promise to never give on up on wearing a Level X shirt and Iceberg Jeans.
    I promise my jewelry will always come from the hair supply store.
    & most importantly I promise to that I will never forget to pay the photographers I model for!

    This is my OG BabyGirl Status Creed.

    • Miss D
      January 4, 2011 at 12:37 pm — Reply

      STOOPID!!!! LMBO!!!! #iCackled

  44. shadgg02
    January 4, 2011 at 12:26 pm — Reply

    ok, so im a day late and far too many dollas short, so imma hurry up and do this while the boss is looking the other way (im in a meeting….dont judge)
    Found you thru a retweet from @pbg and laughed out loud repeatedly…from there, it was a hop skip and jump over the this here blog. it’s nice! did you just decorate??
    i am not a typical wig snatcher, side eye giver, or ratchety person….on the outside. i believe i am one (on the inside) to a degree…but in order to learn, i gotsa learn from the bestest!

    • shadgg02
      January 4, 2011 at 12:29 pm — Reply

      oh yeah….from that H-Town, but i stay as far away from slimthugga as i can.

    • January 5, 2011 at 12:06 am — Reply

      Gurl you tardy but the party ain’t over yet! Better late than never and all’at good stuff. Na’mean?

      And yeah girl… I redecorated my blog in May. You like the new curtains? See they match the loveseat. Mmhmm, I got them all from IKEA. And my mission in life is to bring out the ratchet in everyone. Yes. It’s a lofty goal. But it can be done.

  45. Miss D
    January 4, 2011 at 12:33 pm — Reply

    *waves* Hey Ya’ll!
    My name is Devin and I currently (not happily) hail from the midwest! I’m like 2 hours south of Chitown in the middle of a cold *ssed cornfield. I love food, shoes….yup that pretty much covers it. I keeps my side eye, much like my pimp hand, strong. I’ve been lurking for the longest and can’t remember how the duece I found you but yours and the Black n bougie blog give me life! I solely blame you for me telling people that something quit my lifespace or that iCant with them today. Keep up the ratchetness!

    • January 5, 2011 at 12:04 am — Reply

      What it be like, Devin? I dig that name on ladies. It’s so cute! MIDWEST STANDUP!!! Glad you delurked. Thanks mucho!

      • Miss D
        January 5, 2011 at 4:22 pm — Reply

        Thanks! :-)

  46. January 4, 2011 at 1:00 pm — Reply

    weeelllllllll….

    My name is eb (yeah) and im so cool (yeah) didnt go to school (yeah) alright alright alright! jump in, jump out introduce yoself!…lol

    From way down in the jungle deep! by jungle i mean mississippi and by deep i meanz duh souf! I found your hilariousness on the VSB page and clicked on the avi and have been laffin eeh since! it does somethn to my selves of steam ya know where i dont have to use AS many defense magnesiums ya dig…lol. I found heroine helen and couldnt stop reading! I put errbody and they mama’s best friend on to that 25 dumbest tweets joint! i myself read it bout 5 times!

    Keep it up!

    • January 5, 2011 at 12:03 am — Reply

      HEY EB!!! Thanks for spreading my brand of foolery! :-D

  47. acquanetta
    January 4, 2011 at 1:56 pm — Reply

    Another lurker who enjoys your sense of humor and eye for the down right disturbingly trifling. I live in Texas and prefer steamed rice….though some spanish rice is good here.

  48. doneinthedark
    January 4, 2011 at 5:33 pm — Reply

    Lurker Extraordinaire. I love rice and I found you when a friend sent me a link to one of your posts.

    • January 5, 2011 at 12:02 am — Reply

      YAYYYY!!! I love when lurkers comment for the first time. Glad to have you!

  49. 3knee2debone
    January 4, 2011 at 9:50 pm — Reply

    My name is Nadine S., but I go by trini to de bone for short (Born, bred, arrived on a boat, accent an everyting) !!!!Yuh don know! lol

    So I stumbled upon that abomination “25 dumbest tweets.” And as an English major I –flatlined– I was offended and my literary soul was hurt, so I had to know who was the mastermind who released that bowl of regret into the world. I started reading other posts and I shocked myself by doing something I hardly ever do when I read other ppls blogs, I laughed out loud and several times (the nerve of you luvvie, being so gotdamn funny lol).

    Gurl how does your mind come up with these things!!!!! “Cher is 5 days older than Christ” I was in public when I read this and I laughed so hard at that entire blog, ppl gave me more *side eye* than you gave BET’s life. Im addicted to the blogs. The equashun is simple –> you write it, I’ll read it.

    Right now, I am on a journey to becoming a professional writer. Don’t be surprised if you hear about me in the future gurl! ;-P

    P.S. have you done a post on Trinis, Jamaicans, West Indians in general (Nicki Minaj or RiRi’s cut does not count)??

    • January 5, 2011 at 12:02 am — Reply

      Nadine, you’re the one who sent me the awesomest email I’ve received in a long time. It is STILL making me smile. And HARD too. Thank you again for that! Glad you’ve found me blog and I’m even MORE glad that you’re addicted. That is my evil plan. Hehehehehehe.

      I haven’t done a poston Trinis, jamos and West Indians yet. Whatcha want me to write bout?

  50. Caspercutie
    January 4, 2011 at 10:25 pm — Reply

    Heyyyy, Luvvie! I’m Caspercutie, from St. Louis where the river always rises and tourist take pictures of said flood waters.

    I found you through your comments on VSB. Your comments were so funny I had to check out your blog. The post of the dry hair battle between you and NaturallyAlise was to much foolishness. So of course I’ve been coming back these last two years.

    • January 4, 2011 at 11:58 pm — Reply

      WATTUP CASPERCUTIE! Lol oh VSB. I used to spend SO much time on that site and leaving foolish comments. Got LOVE for the VSBros! And yesss on the hairhat battles. We haven’t had one in too long. Thanks for keeping up w/ the IG!

  51. lynn
    January 4, 2011 at 11:46 pm — Reply

    Hey Luvvie,
    I’m Lynn N. currently in school in ATL. Long time lurker on the blog sometimes commenter on the twitter @lunestalcan. I have followed you for a long time. The first post I saw was you and your friends roasting w/ four seasons of loneliness (the original not the repost), way back with the old site and when you had the ig rules/commandments. It’s been great to watch your brand grow and evolve, you’re inspirational. Stay black, stay ratchet, continue to slay hoes w/ and w/o your shoe game.

    • January 4, 2011 at 11:57 pm — Reply

      Oh yes, @lunestalcan! I’ve seen your tweets (sorry I don’t respond too often. It’s just so hard to reply nowadays b/c my @replies be popping. But I read all of them). Thanks for the support, Lynn! Clearly, for you to remember the IG commandments, you HAVE been a Luvvie historian. ‘Preciate it, chica! :-D

  52. January 5, 2011 at 3:03 am — Reply

    Hey, Luvvie, haaay!

    I’m Amymay, and I’ve been in and out ’round here for the last couple years. I’m a faithful reader, but don’t comment as much as I used to simply coz of time issues. But I love Kween Ig in all her glory!

  53. Marcia
    January 5, 2011 at 3:14 am — Reply

    All hail to the Queen of Ratchet! You’ve teesed, pleesed and coloured my senses since a lucky happenstance on the inanets 2 months ago.
    Throwing you a bouquet of flowers, Bravissima Cara!

    Johannesburg based Closet Writer, Lurk Diva and Secretary with pockets of Prima Donna. @AlwaysMarcia

  54. krocka
    January 5, 2011 at 10:36 pm — Reply

    hey luvvie! i’m from the chi too! sometime last year, i was lead here by likeramona (she always got me on some nonsense). my side eye game was always tight but now i aspire to lady cameroon status! you got me ’bout to join black twitta!

  55. January 6, 2011 at 2:03 am — Reply

    Hey Luvvie,
    I found you on VSB in ’08 you kilt me there but I resurrected and followed you to your blog which finished off my 9 lives. Then I joined twitter and found you there as well. I am your Kenyan PR girl lol I make all my friends read your hilariousness :) You’re going places dearie and I’m on the cheer team with the rice and glitter :)

  56. paintgurl40
    January 6, 2011 at 10:35 am — Reply

    hey luvvie! i’ve started reading your blog this year…i followed the link from afrobella and died laughing reading your posts. i followed your shoe blog…but ican’t no mo’…(shakin my head) that shoe blog got me wishin for thangs that i can’t have at this time. (LOL) i live in des plaines il. anyway, keep up the great work. keeps me laughing!

  57. January 7, 2011 at 11:59 am — Reply

    Oh LuvvieOluRatchedness!! I bow down to the High Priestess of Fuckery and Shenanigans!

    You are too much. I love reading your posts. They keep me in stitches and is excellent therapy.

    My name is Veranda I am from Orlando, Florida originally but I live in NYC (11 yrs) so I am now a New Yorker!

    I am @divakattgoddess on Twitter

    Looking forward to 2011 with you!

    V-

  58. November 22, 2013 at 10:57 am — Reply

    Tak co sa toba oczekujac ? Zaczac sie trzymajac dzisiaj . Jesli chcialbys dowiedziec sie kto ma najnizszy tempa w twoim miejskim wybrany jeden zwiazki ponizej wymeldowac sie dobre ubezpieczenie porównanie witryna który i indywidualnie uzycie . Najlepszy szczescia ! otrzymac bezplatnie cytat wlasnie teraz wybrac to hiperlacze : na internecie ogłoszenia kredyty bez zaświadczeń chwilówki domowe pożyczka na oświadczenie przez internet
    dziesiec . Chyba, ze ty wygenerowac czesto , wtedy informowac twojego profesjonalista ubezpieczenia wiec, ze twój wysoka jakosc moze byc zmienil sie wlasciwie . mozesz zrobic co dokladnie jest zajrzany nizina nizina – odleglosc upust , który moze umozliwic ciebie, by dostac sie tyle sam jak 50 procentu z twoim premia . Jezeli ty optowac dla to duzy upust , potrzebujesz miec zdolnosc do poprzec to . narzedzie to slady twój wlasny odleglosc moze byc przymocowany do twój samochód .

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