So I was minding my own business (O___O) when I got an email from one of my readers. Lately, y’all have been serving me with RATCHETNESS to the max! This email was no different. She just dropped the link to a Facebook profile and pretty much dropped the mic and walked out my inbox. I clicked the link to find this:
His About me says: “wat up this jeffery and right now im locked up but if u wanna write me hit me up at jeffery r…”
Wayment. Wait a GAHTDAMB minute, I SAY!!! This negro is LOCKED UP and on Facebook? They got Facebook in jail? FOR REAL? Since when? Isn’t that a but TOO much access to the outside world? What if they chat with someone about getting away? I got so many questions and not enough answers!
LAWD… after I got over that initial shock, then his profile TRULY started to murk me. For so many reasons. His profile picture is his mugshot and his website is his prison number.
*falls to the ground*
SIR… you’re proudly on the ‘Book when you ain’t got a pot to piss in right now. AND put up your mugshot as your profile picture??? Shouldn’t you be somewhere finding some religion? Or learning how to now get Adebisi’d (don’t drop that soap, my dude). Or pontificating about life?
I picture him in the prison library talmbout “Hey, I need to update my Facebook page right quick.” How does this make sense? And his brother left a comment on his profile picture, talmbout “free my nigga country black.” I WISH I WAS MAKING THIS UP!!!
Oh and what y’all don’t see are the names of some of his 46 friends. They include (and I promise I’m not making this up):
Mrsshort Tregotmymindndmyheart Iluvhimtodeath
Simone Theanoitedone Toliver
Bury me in an orange jumpsuit because I MIGHT DON’T MAKE IT!!! I lowkey feel like someone made this profile AND these friends up to be utterly ridiculous. I’m tryna use this as an excuse to make myself feel better because SURELY foolishness like this can’t be real.
But I know better. It IS real. WHO TOLD THE MYSPACERS TO GET FACEBOOK ACCOUNT??? There goes the gahtdamb neighborhood. *packs up Dereon duffle*
Btw, I SEE YOU PROVISO EAST! lol
Am I the only one tickled by this? Whose cousin is this?
Category: Social Media