Social Media

They Got Facebook In Jail? This Inmate’s Profile Says Yes

So I was minding my own business (O___O) when I got an email from one of my readers. Lately, y’all have been serving me with RATCHETNESS to the max! This email was no different. She just dropped the link to a Facebook profile and pretty much dropped the mic and walked out my inbox. I clicked the link to find this:

Facebook profile in jail

His About me says: “wat up this jeffery and right now im locked up but if u wanna write me hit me up at jeffery r…”

Wayment. Wait a GAHTDAMB minute, I SAY!!! This negro is LOCKED UP and on Facebook? They got Facebook in jail? FOR REAL? Since when? Isn’t that a but TOO much access to the outside world? What if they chat with someone about getting away? I got so many questions and not enough answers!

LAWD… after I got over that initial shock, then his profile TRULY started to murk me. For so many reasons. His profile picture is his mugshot and his website is his prison number.

*blinks twice*

*falls to the ground*

SIR… you’re proudly on the ‘Book when you ain’t got a pot to piss in right now. AND put up your mugshot as your profile picture??? Shouldn’t you be somewhere finding some religion? Or learning how to now get Adebisi’d (don’t drop that soap, my dude). Or pontificating about life?

I picture him in the prison library talmbout “Hey, I need to update my Facebook page right quick.” How does this make sense? And his brother left a comment on his profile picture, talmbout “free my nigga country black.” I WISH I WAS MAKING THIS UP!!!

Oh and what y’all don’t see are the names of some of his 46 friends. They include (and I promise I’m not making this up):

Quteasha Purnell
Keshawn LuvnherHaters
Sabrinalovinlilheadtodamax Lilheadladi
Mrsshort Tregotmymindndmyheart Iluvhimtodeath
Simone Theanoitedone Toliver
SoGorjus Hateitorluvit
Same’Ole Tee-Tee
Latashabodybangin Melvin

Hay Zeus take the wheel!!! These fools ain’t serious. Are they??? iCan’t. iWon’t. iShan’t.

Bury me in an orange jumpsuit because I MIGHT DON’T MAKE IT!!! I lowkey feel like someone made this profile AND these friends up to be utterly ridiculous. I’m tryna use this as an excuse to make myself feel better because SURELY foolishness like this can’t be real.

But I know better. It IS real. WHO TOLD THE MYSPACERS TO GET FACEBOOK ACCOUNT??? There goes the gahtdamb neighborhood. *packs up Dereon duffle*

Btw, I SEE YOU PROVISO EAST! lol

Am I the only one tickled by this? Whose cousin is this?

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77 Comments

  1. January 27, 2011 at 1:59 pm — Reply

    The first thing I noticed on this pic was that dude went to Proviso East & then I had a large chuckle bc most of my fam went there as well.

    I absolutely CANNOT w/ this ninja’s pic being his mugshot tho. Welp, I guess it’s betta than him standing in front the commissary in the official jail pose…you know the one; crouched low, legs slightly ajar, throwin’ up either the peace sign or his gang sign.

    • January 30, 2011 at 12:52 am — Reply

      LMAO @ the jail pose pic… Gawwwwd!

    • January 30, 2011 at 12:52 am — Reply

      LMAO @ the visual of the jail pose pic… Gawwwwd!

    • January 31, 2011 at 1:02 am — Reply

      I SEE YOU PROVISO EAST! I’ma just keep hollering that lol

  2. lana_j23
    January 27, 2011 at 1:59 pm — Reply

    I’ve heard of people who are on the outside making profiles for their friends and family that are locked up. So maybe he had a cousin that made it for him. That ain’t it? Oh.

    I’m trying to make since of all of this.
    *looks unsure*

    • January 27, 2011 at 2:31 pm — Reply

      Nope. They have this access. There was a national story a few months ago of an inmate posting pics on fb posing in his cell, posing with his fellow jailbirds. He used his blackberry to upload and update! A mess!

      • lana_j23
        January 28, 2011 at 1:20 am — Reply

        But his Blackberry though? I mean I knew that they had cell phones in prison, but a Blackberry? And access to Facebook? I’ve seen just about every damn thing.

      • January 31, 2011 at 12:55 am — Reply

        WHAT???? This negro was having FB photoshoots behind bars? I CANNOT! But umm… do you have a link? I’d love to see these pics. lol

    • January 31, 2011 at 1:02 am — Reply

      You tried but nawl! lol

  3. K. Weezy
    January 27, 2011 at 2:03 pm — Reply

    haha yes, it is very true, they have internet access in prison [learned that from OZ], and since FB is “personal” where you can connect with real family and friends, they don’t block it rotf. Maybe Diabla has one…

    Love the blog, but I must say this as an OZ fan, Adebisi never dropped the soap, but he was always there when another inmate did. It should be “Beecher’d” rotf

    • Nana
      January 27, 2011 at 10:39 pm — Reply

      Bwahahahaha @ Diabla on FB. (She gave me nightmares though)

    • January 31, 2011 at 1:01 am — Reply

      So that’s the reason they allow FB? Lawd… that is just… NAWL!

      And naw. I was saying Adebisi was the one SONNING the folks who dropped the soap. Used him as a verb for mmhmmm

  4. MANDA
    January 27, 2011 at 2:04 pm — Reply

    I found his page off of the simple clues you didn’t blur out. CHILE, this can’t be life.

    • January 31, 2011 at 1:00 am — Reply

      I lowkey tried to hide something lol

  5. January 27, 2011 at 2:04 pm — Reply

    I’m not shocked at all. They have cellphones in jail. Why wouldn’t those cellphones have a data plan and net access?

    • Ms. Heaven
      January 27, 2011 at 2:43 pm — Reply

      Pause. Cellphones in jail? What the what? iQuit.

    • January 27, 2011 at 3:01 pm — Reply

      What Ms. Heaven said.
      HOW DA HAYLE inmates got cell phones–with data and net plans no less–and strugglin arse students out ‘chere beggin Verizon not to cut them off?!?! I also quit!

    • January 31, 2011 at 1:00 am — Reply

      I’ma need the inmates’ cellphone plans not to be better than some FREE folks. Them nights and weekends and innanets ain’t cheap!

  6. Monique
    January 27, 2011 at 2:06 pm — Reply

    So of course I have to go and look up his friends just to make sure I don’t know any of them! If I do. . . DELETE!

    • January 31, 2011 at 12:59 am — Reply

      IF you know any of them, please block them. They’ll bring down your property value.

  7. youngifted_blk
    January 27, 2011 at 2:12 pm — Reply

    This is nothing compared to a guy I went to elementary school with who is now in prison for life (murder). This Negro had his family sneak in a Blackberry AND he had uploaded pics of himself in his cell!

    Anyway, that profile up there looks like the work of a family member. Inmate #s and mug shots are readily available on a Department of Corrections website.

    • Ms. Heaven
      January 27, 2011 at 2:44 pm — Reply

      Pause again. What the what again? Who paid for a data plan for that negro to sneak a Blackberry into his cell?!!!?

      • paintgurl40
        January 27, 2011 at 3:38 pm — Reply

        probably one of his broads!!; )

      • January 31, 2011 at 12:54 am — Reply

        Our damb tax dollars are paying for smartphones and data plan for inmates. The world is topsy turvy.

    • January 31, 2011 at 12:59 am — Reply

      According to folks, they DO got FB in jail. And lawdddd at the guy u went to elementary school with. A. MESS.

  8. Maximillian
    January 27, 2011 at 2:16 pm — Reply

    Maywood FTW!!!

    • January 31, 2011 at 12:58 am — Reply

      LOL how you gon come in here repping? lol

  9. PhoenixNicole
    January 27, 2011 at 2:21 pm — Reply

    First time commenting. OMG! I had to comment not only on this mugshot-taking ass Negro, but the straight coonery running rampant in his friends list. I think I died & my casket rolled down a hill when I read those names. Jesus, take the wheel. Heck, take the entire car!

    BTW, love ur site!

    • January 31, 2011 at 12:57 am — Reply

      WELCOME TO MY SITE!!! Don’t be a stranger around these parts! Visit my comments more often :-D. *chases after your rolling casket*

  10. January 27, 2011 at 2:23 pm — Reply

    Girl not ONLY do they have the Book in jail, but apparently some folks done snuck in camera phones. I swear a chick I went to school with has her SMILING face in her profile like she ain’t in jail for DOUBLE MURDER. I need her to keep all that lovely 26th and California to herself.

    • January 27, 2011 at 2:49 pm — Reply

      I need her to keep all that lovely 26th and California to herself.

      *floats away to the upper room* LMAO

      • paintgurl40
        January 27, 2011 at 3:37 pm — Reply

        u and mrs.tiye are funny as hell!!!LOL

      • January 31, 2011 at 12:53 am — Reply

        I’ll give a lovely eulogy at your funegro.

    • January 31, 2011 at 12:57 am — Reply

      LMAOOOOOOOOOO! 26th and California IS the joint here in Chicago. But I will need her not to be on FB when she’s serving a sentence that promises that if she dies and comes back, her ass will STILL be in jail. Ma’am… O___O

  11. January 27, 2011 at 2:24 pm — Reply

    This can’t be real! Just can’t-

    I guess they need to be able to communicate. Maybe this cuts down on the costs of letters and facilities to maintain visitation and communication from relatives. Whatever works, right??

    • January 31, 2011 at 12:56 am — Reply

      Nawl. I just say NAWL. We can WISH it’s for some greater good but umm… O___O

  12. January 27, 2011 at 2:28 pm — Reply

    I’m just going to hope, assume, and pray to Chipotle that someone made a post w/his info for him. Because this can’t be life. I waited until I was in COLLEGE to get on FB; it was a privelege….and now, everybody and their momma n’em (literally) got a Facebook page. You know what, F*** life.

    • January 31, 2011 at 12:55 am — Reply

      LMAO!!! Not “pray to chipotle.” Cole, you stoopid.

  13. January 27, 2011 at 2:30 pm — Reply

    LMAO at the GIF.

    • January 31, 2011 at 12:55 am — Reply

      That GIF wins the internet.

  14. lilbit o'luck
    January 27, 2011 at 2:39 pm — Reply

    this cannot be life. Facebook in jail-really?

    • January 31, 2011 at 12:54 am — Reply

      Life is just… comical

  15. Ms. Heaven
    January 27, 2011 at 2:41 pm — Reply

    *sigh* iCan’t do this with you today Luvvie! iCan’t! He is doing the most with the very least. The mugshot should qualify for at least 2 hours in solitary. Not enough? Ok, there needs to be a penalty for this!

    • January 31, 2011 at 12:54 am — Reply

      Girl…

  16. January 27, 2011 at 2:49 pm — Reply

    Quteasha Purnell
    Keshawn LuvnherHaters
    Sabrinalovinlilheadtodamax Lilheadladi
    Mrsshort Tregotmymindndmyheart Iluvhimtodeath
    Simone Theanoitedone Toliver
    SoGorjus Hateitorluvit
    Same’Ole Tee-Tee
    Latashabodybangin Melvin

    $5 says they are all from the west side of Chicago. *runs*

    • January 27, 2011 at 2:57 pm — Reply

      And the fact that I just went on fb to search dude…and found him is just…

      *goes to sit in the corner*

      • January 31, 2011 at 12:51 am — Reply

        LOL did oyu request him as a friend. Be honest. I won’t judge you (I will but…)

    • paintgurl40
      January 27, 2011 at 3:34 pm — Reply

      LMBO!!!YEP!!

    • likeramona
      January 28, 2011 at 10:20 am — Reply

      nope that would be maywood…i’m not gonna let u give qui qui an’em to me. nope not gone be able to do it

    • January 31, 2011 at 12:53 am — Reply

      I’ll up your $5 and bet $20.

  17. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by OluLuvvie AdeRatchet, OluLuvvie AdeRatchet, OluLuvvie AdeRatchet, Chela, RhondaMo and others. RhondaMo said: -_-“@luvvieig: Ok if you've already clicked on the FB inmate post, go back to it. I just added this GIF that is HILAR! http://bit.ly/gu4gsN” […]

  18. January 27, 2011 at 2:54 pm — Reply

    I almost stopped reading cuz I couldn’t take it anymore. Until I saw the gif of a puppet Jesus literally taking the wheel. So thank you. Made my day.

    • January 31, 2011 at 12:52 am — Reply

      I asked Jesus to take the wheel and the puppet came to the rescue. So you’re welcome. *smize*

  19. OlaBombShell
    January 27, 2011 at 2:56 pm — Reply

    so yes, the 1st thing I noticed was that he went to Proviso East…*wall slide* Then His list of friends….#EPICFAIL… I personally don’t believe this is real, someone os mocking the person, or made a fake profile. I refuse to believe our judicial system is this loose. How do y’all find this mess? This is just…

    • January 31, 2011 at 12:51 am — Reply

      Gurl, unfortunately, this madness is prolly real. See us see trouble. The interwebs is just…

  20. Ms. Heaven
    January 27, 2011 at 4:07 pm — Reply

    And where in the HAYELL did you get that vidjo of lil’ Jesus taking the wheel? I need that vidjo on my fb page…at least I’m not sitting in jail updating my status. *The Color Purple flashback – Hee Hee Hee sat in that jail, sat in that jail til I near bout done rot to death* Ok, I’m back.

  21. January 27, 2011 at 10:14 pm — Reply

    Yawns nothing surprises me anymore, jails in the US and Canada are better than most Red Roof Inns or your average Days Inn. I’m sorry but innanets, tv, library those are a fucking luxury. You in prison to pay your debt to society not Poke mofos on FB. Tweet and participate in TTs..

    MAN WHAT?

    • January 31, 2011 at 12:50 am — Reply

      RIGHT!!!! Can we talk bout how these jails are like the Westin? Cable… wifi… 3 meals a day. I mean…

  22. Nana
    January 27, 2011 at 10:43 pm — Reply

    *blank stare* This man has FB in prison!!?? What have we come to? I’m not asking for chain gangs here (well, maybe I am), but if you commit a crime why do you get FB, a gym, and the good cable? You should be doing something good for society while paying your debt. I mean if I had a prison, inmates would be farming. It would be a win-win. They would be raising fresh food for the community and they would be too tired to raise a ruckus. *sucks teeth and rolls eyes at FB and the good cable in prison.*

    • January 31, 2011 at 12:50 am — Reply

      Right! Instead of paying their dues, these negros are in jail social networking. That wasn’t part of their sentence! What part of the game is this?

  23. Capricorn
    January 27, 2011 at 10:50 pm — Reply

    Luuvie. Eye. Can. NOT. wit. Chu. No. Mo.

    • January 31, 2011 at 12:49 am — Reply

      I ain’t e’em DO nuffin #doe!

  24. January 28, 2011 at 12:12 am — Reply

    That’s like when T.I. said he watched “True Blood” in prison. THEY HAVE HBO IN PRISON? I don’t have HBO!

    • January 31, 2011 at 12:49 am — Reply

      Prison sounds posh. They got premium cable? REGLAH folks ain’t got hbo but man-man behind bars does? See life.

  25. Scorpiana
    January 28, 2011 at 1:51 am — Reply

    iCan’t and no one else should either! No Ma’am, no Sir! *drops mic, exits stage left*

    • January 31, 2011 at 12:48 am — Reply

      What you said… yes.

  26. […] duffle*Btw, I SEE YOU PROVISO EAST! lolAm I the only one tickled by this? Whose cousin is this? [ORIGINALLY POSTED HERE] google_ad_client = "pub-4758943935921343"; google_ad_slot = "7831145558"; […]

  27. Stacy
    January 28, 2011 at 11:55 am — Reply

    THIS is why i Segchual Chocolated FB this year. I just R E F U S E dot.com on it all.

    • January 31, 2011 at 12:47 am — Reply

      LOL @ Segchual chocolated. You dropped the mic on FB? I’ont e’em blame you.

  28. Nono
    January 28, 2011 at 12:12 pm — Reply

    Oh HAYLE nawl!! People are proclaiming their jailbird status on FB? That’s what’s really hot in the streets?!?

    What, they gone have special groups next? “I Got Shanked in the Yard, Did You?” “Fugg a Bar of Soap, Get With that Shower Gel”

    FB bout to do it’s own wall slide…

    • January 31, 2011 at 12:47 am — Reply

      Apparently, that’s what’s lukewarm in the boulevard. Yeah if I see some groups w/ prison inmates, I might just fall clean out

  29. January 28, 2011 at 8:11 pm — Reply

    i know someone locked up with FB. After looking through his statuses, curious as to what the hell you have to talk about in jail, i come across a status about a prison yard fight between the black and Mexican inmates.

    what im dyin to know is, who’s payin for these cell phones? cuz if I am, im headin to Canada.

    • January 31, 2011 at 12:46 am — Reply

      LAWD FOR REAL??? This fool is giving updates on the jail fights? iCan’t deal.

  30. January 28, 2011 at 11:17 pm — Reply

    The only thing I can say is: WOW!

    • January 31, 2011 at 12:45 am — Reply

      Pretty much.

  31. pt
    November 2, 2011 at 5:33 am — Reply

    ALL U MUHFUCKAS ARE DUMB I MADE IT FOR HIM YOU DUMB FUCKS ITS EASY 2 DO AND Y ARE YOU ALL WORRIED ABOUT IT ANYWAY

  32. Chris Harper
    April 18, 2014 at 8:53 am — Reply

    Actually I had a company a few years ago providing this service. We did Tagged,Blackplanet,Migente but FB was by far the modt popular. Didn’t know I was violating TOS so they sent a cease and desist. I made a few grand per month. But had strict rules.

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