So today, I found out that the Oregon Trail app is now on Facebook! OREGON MUFUGGING TRAIL!!! The epic game from our childhood where you were a settler taking a 2,000 mile across the treacherous oregon trail with a wagon full of people, and ox pulling the wagon. During the trail, you face all types of obstacles in the way. Like muddy trails and rivers. LAWD THE RIVERS! How many wagons have been lost while tryna ford those gahtdamb rivers? I’ve drowned many a troop in those rivers because I was cheap and didn’t wanna pay someone to get us across. And the diseases folks you’d travel with would get.
That awkward moment when someone in your party got bitten by a snake and you were too cheap to treat them so you let them die so you could have one less mouth to feed and more money in your bank? Yeah…
That was an awful description of the game. It sounded all sadistic and random. But TRUST me, it was HELLA fun! I used to look forward to computer day in elementary school because I got to play Oregon Trail. If I never accomplish anything else again in life, y’all know what to blame. MY FAVORITE CHILDHOOD GAME IS HERE!!! So when I found out it was now a game on Facebook? Well, this is what I did.
After I picked myself up from the floor, I ran to Facebook and installed the app with a quickness. Then I started to play. It’s been SO long and I don forgot the basics.
Sidenote: The starting date was listed as January 1, 1848. I’ma act like Black folks weren’t slaves then. Especially since the starting point was in Independence, MO. I mean, my folks weren’t independent but I ain’t gon say nothing. (-___-).
Anywho, I ran into the General Store to buy supplies for my trip. The game starts you off at $300. WHY within 30 seconds, I ran into the store and spent $220, all on my wagon. My expensive taste having-ass. Mind you, I hadn’t bought my crew no food. So I bought us a measly bag of flour and a little bit of food ration and was down to $5.
I CLEARLY was already losing. Then I had to pick a profession. The 3 choices available to me were Settler, Hunter and Doctor. I was all “OF COURSE I WANNA BE A DOCTOR! That way, my peoples won’t die of cholera and sh*t.” Oh wait… I need money to be a doctor AND hunter? Oh. Settler it is. So I picked “settler” and the game lowkey shaded me, talmbout “settler doesn’t have any specific skill set.” ALL THAT SHADE, OREGON TRAIL!
LAWD… HOW am I gon start my trip on the Oregon Trail with just $5, a banging ass wagon (with rims) and a tiny amount of food? AND I’m a lowly settler? WHAT PART OF THE GAME IS THIS??? Oh. The main one? Aight. CAN I START OVER???? I’ll be cheaper and less flashy with my monies next time! *kicks my ox and my wagon down* Why’d I close outta Oregon Trail and come back hoping me pressing X on my window was gon make them let me start over? I’m dumb. lol I’m all “Lemme exit and moonwalk out. Then come back. Maybe they won’t remember me.” NAWL FOOL! Chile… lol
After realizing I had to lay in the broke bed I made, I kicked off my journey. I had 2 women, 1 man, and 2 girl kids. Within 5 minutes, one of my girls got bitten by a snake. *wall slide* So I had to pay someone to make her better. I shoulda let her die cuz that hit my pocket a little bit. I’m saying… I’da given her a nice eulogy and tombstone on the path.
Anyways, as y’all see, the game had me HEMMED up yesterday afternoon. I hope I pull myself away and do stuff. You know, like shower and eat. If you want to play, getchu a piece of the Oregon Trail Facebook app HERE. You’s welcome! *smize*
Am I the only one this excited about the game? Any of you playing already? Did someone in your Oregon Trail crew die of yellow fever yet?
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