Whose is this?

Whose T-Shirt Is This? Jesus Ain’t Sanction It

One of my readers passed this pic to me, and all I did was give EXTREME side-eye.

Sir… I’m pretty sure Jesus, nor his disciples, nor Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Shadrack, Meshack or the Billy Goat, sanctioned the existence of this shirt. I mean, I respect his fervor and passion for his place of worship and all but DAMB! Just cuz I’ont wanna go to his church don’t mean my life ain’t bout nothing.

I didn’t even know that church rivalries was the new Black. Is that what’s lukewarm in the attic nowadays? Are we picking church colors and throwing up gang signs? Let me know so I can know what colors I can rock to the pulpit come Sunday because I’ont want no trouble. I won’t start none, so there won’t be none.

Homeboy sure does love his church. I see you, New Rising Missionary Baptist!!! But I must ask. WHOSE T-SHIRT IS THIS??? And whose Uncle Leroy is the one rocking it with such pride?

Edit: Y’all are CUTTING UP in the comments for this post. I have to highlight this comment though.

Miss Heaven said: While ya’ll playin’, you know this is the Passuh wearing the shirt. “Good Morning Saints & Aints! Today starts our fundraiser for the building fund. Getcho New Rising t-shirt ‘fo they all gone. As the Passuh of this here church, I wants erybody to wear these to the picnic next Satday, cuz Greater New Bethel gone be in the park too & we gone show them fools who runnin’ Heaven up in this b!tch! Passuh Jankins didn’t forget bout the ladies, we got fitted t’s for the ladies too!”

Y’all ain’t got the good sense God gave a llama. And I love you for it.

53 Comments

  1. February 8, 2011 at 8:39 pm — Reply

    THANK YOU for finding this sh*t, I mean shirt. lol

    I saw a fbk comment on it and this is what it said

    Bwahahaha…I’m so happy to not be “shit”! Wouldn’t want to be smelling all day. Hmmm…so does that mean New Rising Missionary Baptist is full of shit?????

    SO true!!

    • February 9, 2011 at 5:08 pm — Reply

      LOL you make a good point. You so deep. *nods*

  2. Nana
    February 8, 2011 at 8:42 pm — Reply

    Ooh, that shirt makes the Baby Jesus cry.

    • likeramona
      February 8, 2011 at 9:41 pm — Reply

      idied

    • February 9, 2011 at 3:53 pm — Reply

      FACT.

  3. February 8, 2011 at 8:44 pm — Reply

    Uhmmmm I just wanna know which one of the disciples decided to go hard? Goodness lol

    • February 9, 2011 at 3:53 pm — Reply

      Judas mighta sanctioned this shirt. You know he’s a traitor and all.

  4. SanTara
    February 8, 2011 at 8:45 pm — Reply

    poor grammar & foul language? is that how we winning souls today? shameful! I wonder if we call the church and inquire about the tshirt would they tell us to “go to hell we ain’t got no shirts like that!”

    • likeramona
      February 8, 2011 at 9:41 pm — Reply

      idied again!

    • February 8, 2011 at 10:11 pm — Reply

      I wanted to look up the church on Google to call and inquire but I thought that would be rude, disrespectful, etc. but I REALLY do want to know who approved of printing these.

      Anybody other than myself wondering what the front of the shirt says?

      • February 9, 2011 at 4:31 pm — Reply

        If you Google the church and find it, please pass on the info. I’m saying… for research purposes.

    • February 9, 2011 at 3:54 pm — Reply

      That church prolly got goons. I wouldn’t e’em call them. They gon redial and come find you to drag you to service on Sunday.

  5. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by OluLuvvie AdeRatchet and Coonie Chung , streaminghumor. streaminghumor said: Whose T-Shirt Is This? Jesus Ain’t Sanction It: One of my readers passed this pic to me, and all I did was give … http://bit.ly/e5jxsx [...]

  6. Kay
    February 8, 2011 at 9:35 pm — Reply

    Negro, please!! Sounds like one of those gangsta ass churches, were the Pastor use to be pimp, the deacons were drug dealers, the usher board were number runers and the whole congregation are crips still trying to decide if they ready give up the thug life….

    • likeramona
      February 8, 2011 at 9:42 pm — Reply

      WELP!

      • February 8, 2011 at 11:59 pm — Reply

        @Kay – you don’t give up the thug life, you thug for the Lord #TugLafe

        • Elle
          August 12, 2012 at 6:11 pm — Reply

          Dig’s my grave….oh gosh.

    • February 9, 2011 at 4:32 pm — Reply

      Sister O’Dell used to work the pole. We’re ON to her.

  7. February 9, 2011 at 1:26 am — Reply

    GREATER BETHEL IN THIS B*TCH! YEAH SON! WE SAVIN SOULS IN THIS MOTHERFCKER! AND WHAT! *AND* WHAT!! I THINK I’M BIG MEECH! BABY JESUS! WHIPPIN WORK! I THINK I’M THE PRINCE OF PEACE! I THINK I’M ELOHIM! WHO LIKE LIKE YAHWEH, HUH? WHO LIVE LIKE HIM?! SHOUT OUT TO THE WOMEN’S DAY CHOIR CAUSE THEM BTCHES CAN-NOT- BE F*CKED WITH! WE GANGBANGIN ON SINNERS OFF IN THIS HOE!

    *licks shots*

    • Scorpiana
      February 9, 2011 at 1:35 am — Reply

      I hope that was your shot of gasoline, ’cause you’re going to hell on the short bus, on the fire highway for that (along with Satan’s Minion wearing that shirt)! We’se GOTS to do better, my peoples! (And yes, those were purposeful typos).

    • February 9, 2011 at 2:06 am — Reply

      @Brokey McPoverty

      as Luvvie says, “color me murked” b/c I just flatlined at your comment and there’s a DNR in my file

    • emti
      February 9, 2011 at 10:48 am — Reply

      *dead*

    • February 9, 2011 at 4:31 pm — Reply

      Brokey. GO AWAY!!! Gahtdamb MESS! lol

    • Ryan
      February 9, 2011 at 5:15 pm — Reply

      iCried iDied

    • Oyan
      February 9, 2011 at 5:41 pm — Reply

      Hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • August 4, 2011 at 12:37 am — Reply

      iDied, rose, and died again…rinse and repeat…Lawd I cannot with y’all!

    • Mad
      December 9, 2011 at 12:34 pm — Reply

      I read this and literally started crying laughing.

    • February 28, 2012 at 11:42 pm — Reply

      Hahaha, ridiculous!

  8. legitimate_soul
    February 9, 2011 at 2:50 am — Reply

    Dang. “Who in the heyall left the gate open” for this fool… #BETGospelCompilationCommercialsFTW! This made me cackle and then want to fight him.

    • MissMaryMack
      February 9, 2011 at 8:57 am — Reply

      I though I was the only one wanting to lay hands on this fool! And not the good kind LBVFS!

      • February 9, 2011 at 9:47 pm — Reply

        You’d fit right into that church. Gooning for the Lord!

    • February 9, 2011 at 5:09 pm — Reply

      I bet they fight A LOT at that church. Prolly over stuff like which bible passage goes hardest in the paint.

  9. Ms. Heaven
    February 9, 2011 at 7:23 am — Reply

    While ya’ll playin’, you know this is the Passuh wearing the shirt. “Good Morning Saints & Aints! Today starts our fundraiser for the building fund. Getcho New Rising t-shirt ‘fo they all gone. As the Passuh of this here church, I wants erybody to wear these to the picnic next Satday, cuz Greater New Bethel gone be in the park too & we gone show them fools who runnin’ Heaven up in this b!tch! Passuh Jankins didn’t forget bout the ladies, we got fitted t’s for the ladies too!”

    • February 9, 2011 at 11:46 am — Reply

      *flatlines again* DNR

    • February 9, 2011 at 4:30 pm — Reply

      “Saints and Aints.” DEAD AND GONE!!!

  10. February 9, 2011 at 9:49 am — Reply

    *sigh* jesus wept…

    • TreasuredSoul
      February 9, 2011 at 1:44 pm — Reply

      *deeper sigh* Oh YES HE Did!! as Ashley says…ihave flatline and PLEASE DNR…LOL! You know the founder of this church is turnin’ over in his grave…he doin the *graveslide* and ALL…I Rebuke you all in the name of tomfoolery!

  11. February 9, 2011 at 2:22 pm — Reply

    Wait? WHAT?! So is the church really allowing those shirts to be printed? They say church and **** in the same sentence. Is this an effective was of winning souls? I wouldn’t even want to be apart of New Rising Missionary Baptist….

    But then again, their name speaks well of them, “New Rising”. They are still new and rising to knowledge of Christ. May God help us all in Jesus Name.

  12. lilbit o'luck
    February 9, 2011 at 3:49 pm — Reply

    *spinkles holy water on this thread and watches it sizzle*

    • February 9, 2011 at 9:46 pm — Reply

      You tryna drop this thread like it’s hot?

  13. February 9, 2011 at 6:05 pm — Reply

    I passed this link on to a friend who unknowingly makes me strive to have an even better relationship with the big guy in the sky and these were his thoughts:

    **his disclaimer is that his thoughts are on the shirt NOT this blog**

    Interesting shirt! It’s got its own freedom of expression to it; and I’m gonna take a wild guess that this church (if it were real) is a predom Black church. So, my whole take on it?

    WHO CARES?

    Crazy, right? Coming from a person who makes sure that GOD is the head of my life; the first one I talk to before speaking to the world — Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook etc; the one I give credit to for ALL of my life’s work; the one I worship, praise, and pray to. I mean, isn’t there WAY more we need to be worried about? I’m mean really.

    ***

    These questions that arise from this shirt are:

    1) What makes this person think that their church is “The Shit”

    2) What makes this person think other people that don’t attend his church “Ain’t Shit?”

    3) I wonder if the church is even real?

    4) If the church IS real, is that church a church that does for the community or is it just chillin on one of the many “every corner” spots in a block “Not Doin Shit”?

    5) It’s a bad choice of words: Grammatically, he and the other members are “Shit”

    6) Could this man is the pastor of with the “shit” members?

    7) Why are we bringing this man down for his beliefs? (New Rising Missionary Baptist Church might be a different kind of church; we don’t know. Only closed minded people who aren’t GROUNDED in their own beliefs have an issue with the shirt)

    ***

    OHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! I know what it is: It’s the fact that he has “shit” in the shirt with the word “Church” in it!!! Ahhhhh!!! Yeah, So? Let the man rep his church!

    In my opinion, the only people that are mad at this shirt are the people that are offended.

    • February 9, 2011 at 9:46 pm — Reply

      He had a lot to say, huh?

      • Ms. Heaven
        February 10, 2011 at 7:25 am — Reply

        He really did have a lot to say…almost made me not wanna clown Passuh Jankins about the church fundraiser t-shirt…but then I looked at it again and a new round of jokes came out. This leads me to believe there is a seat reserved for me on the express train to hell. Erybody get a free New Rising t-shirt to wear on the ride down.

    • krocka
      February 18, 2011 at 10:01 am — Reply

      **Why are we bringing this man down for his beliefs? **

      maybe, just maybe…and i’m going out on a limb here…what that shirt is offering up has not one thing to do with jesus and what he represents. ijs

  14. February 9, 2011 at 6:15 pm — Reply

    NOTHING says ‘gooning for Jesus (not the guy at the car wash)’ like this shirt!!
    New Rising Missionary Baptist Church…home of the original Goons.
    You ain’t seen NOTHING until you see the Senior Choir on 2nd Sunday Crip walking down the aisle singing “Wade in the Water’. BTW, the baptismal pool at NRMBC is a Jacuzzi.

    • February 9, 2011 at 9:46 pm — Reply

      PRAISE HIM!!! That service probably gets crunk. Mind you, they might need heavy security. In case rival gangs sow up one day.

  15. Stacy
    February 9, 2011 at 7:51 pm — Reply

    Why did I just spend like 30 mins googling this church. Hell,I want a tshirt, to go with my gasoline draws.

    • February 9, 2011 at 9:45 pm — Reply

      So… you ain’t find it? DANG!

  16. Phatlips
    February 10, 2011 at 5:32 pm — Reply

    So do they “make it rain” at offering time?

    • Lexi
      February 10, 2011 at 7:08 pm — Reply

      lawd smh they must, with the gold chains and all smh. thats how they get down @ New Rising Missionary Baptist

  17. February 13, 2011 at 2:14 am — Reply
  18. IDub
    February 22, 2011 at 12:18 am — Reply

    I just spit all over my monitor! What church is this? They just made me a believer. I’m going next Sunday… and I been a practicing Atheist for the past 20! F*ck if I’ma be left out!

  19. _prettybrwn_
    May 30, 2011 at 12:27 pm — Reply

    lmao its a rickey smiley joke!!

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