VH1’s “Single Ladies” Was Horrid
*looks at my post title* DANG Luvvie! Don’t hold back. Say how you REALLY feel.
But really. I mean it. There’s a time when it is confirmed to me that TV will never regain good quality programming. And last night was such a time. Mind you, I’m a fan and avid watcher of bad TV. I love shitty reality TV shows and often DVR them. I live-tweet them like my next pair of shoes depended on it. I LOVE BAD TV. But some TV shows KNOW they’re bad, and they’re ok with it. “Single Ladies” is not one of those shows. You can tell that the folks who worked on it actually thought it’s good. I’m here to snatch their wigs and tell them “SHAME ON YOU!” It’s supposed to be a romantic comedy. There was nary any romance, and the only laughing I did was AT the show, not with it.
What’s wrong with it? Lemme count the ways.
I’m not sure what the audition process was for this show, but it couldn’t have been that strenuous. Clearly, they just said “we want really pretty Black folks who are mildly recognizable. They don’t have to be great actors” So naturally, they went to Stacey Dash and Lisa Raye McCoy, two of the cutest, but acting-challenged actresses in Black Hollywood. I like both of them. They defy the laws of aging, and somehow have water from the Fountain of Youth pouring out their faucet. However, thespians they are not.
Stacey and LisaRaye shared a bulk of the screentime, so it was 2 hours of really stunted acting. Unless you want to count And to be honest, I feel like Stacey Dash was playing herself. So I don’t even think she was acting. We call this the “Gabrielle Union.”
But yeah, the acting was just not good. Well, at some points, the acting was just downright AWFUL. Like anytime Kim Porter was onscreen. Yes, Diddy’s Kim Porter. I was excited to see her working. I didn’t know what she did besides gives birth to Puffy’s adorabo twins. For real. That ain’t shade.
Kim’s acting was like watching a graham cracker recite lines. It was that bland. She made Stacey Dash look like a classically-trained thespian named Dame Judi Dench. I was just like “Mkay so maybe this is why I ain’t know what Kim did.” I liked Kim better when she was the lovable arm candy Diddy took on his yacht for 1 week (right before he took Cassie on the same yacht).
And the men in the thing were all bland and 2D. Womp. Bless ALL their hearts.
I can maybe tolerate bad acting if it came with a good storyline. But alas… that is not a part of this. Everything about it was cliché and tired. From the pregnancy scare (apparently, you can get FIVE false positive pregnancy results. Who’da think it), to the blackmailing that ended up backfiring (WWHHAAA??? Color me unsurprised), to the one white woman in the whole thing sleeping with the Black mayor (while both were married). Yes, the mayor was Common, which made for great eye candy, but that story was WACK.
They even had LisaRaye and Kim Porter play video vixens, as if they aren’t 10 years ast that prime. Yes they still look hella good but COME ON! Would they REALLY be in videos today? That was just cheap.
It was like they took a poll of people who only read Eric Jerome Dickey novels, and asked what storylines they enjoy the most. And folks jotted them down, so they used it as the plot points of “Single Ladies.” I’m convinced.
The storyline might have been slightly worse than the stilted acting. I’m not sure which was better.
Ok so maybe bad acting and wack storyline wouldn’t be as awful if the writing was at a decent level. But I think I might expect too much. The cliché storyline given to subpar actors to perform was written terribly. Remember how Dawson’s Creek’s writing was so long-winded and complicated that no teenager on Earth would utter those words? Well the writing on “Single Ladies” was so simple that no real adult would have these conversations.
Lines like “You need to step!” and “Fasten your seatbelt girl cuz you’re about to go for a ride” and “He kicked you to the curb” have NO PLACE in a show filmed in 2011. In 1995, they coulda been effective and cutting edge. But unless you’re also wearing Cross Colours overalls and huge Africa medallions, you should not utter any of these phrases. Just NAWL!
In REAL fake life… the writing was elementary. They coulda done wayyy better.
The fact that Queen Latifah produced this gives me the sads. I have tons of respect for the Queen but this show is not becoming of her. I’m actually a bit embarrassed for her and everyone else who’s affiliated with this show.
On a good note, the eye candy was great. And it seemed that anyone who was anybody in ATL had a cameo. Kandi Burress’ hair flew above alla haters… And above Jermaine Dupri’s head.
Did y’all watch VH1’s “Single Ladies?” Am I the only one who thought it was mediocre AT BEST? Did I miss any redeeming qualities about the show? Tell a G.