Fashion

Invisiwig Brows. NO MA’AM!

I was minding my own business when my girl @KindredSmile ambushed my gchats talmbout “Lacefront Eyebrows.” I told her to go away, but she didn’t listen. This fool sent me a link to:

Invisiwig Brows

Invisiwig. Brows. O____o

INVISIWIG EYEBROWS! LAWDDDDDD!!!

So folks ain’t e’em going the old-fashioned 2001 route of using rogaine on their brows anymore. People are getting WEAVE BROWS now???

Listen… I don’t have time for this. They aint found the cure to cancer or the reason why Flava Flav looks like walking beef jerky but they go ahead and invent lacefront brows. I’m pretty sure the human race is nearing its peak in evolution. We might be officially regressing cuz this ish here?

“They can be worn in the shower, although prolonged submersion is not recommended. We do not recommend wearing them in the pool, due to the harshness of the pool’s chemicals.”

Oh so if I was feeling froggy and wanted to be bold and wear my lacefront brows in the pool, will the chlorine render them twiggy? Would I be walking and my brows fall off my face? “Smoking on brows in the middle of the barn” steeze. Imagine going swimming with your friend, and her having to take off her brows before taking a dive. She goes in looking like Frida Carlo bout the brows and comes out looking like Whoopi. Chile, NAWL.

Lemme find out cholas gon stop drawing on brows and start putting on invisiwig on their faces. ^___^. This aint what life is bout.

The invisiwig folks talmbout “for the most natural eyebrows ever made.” The most natural brows ever made are the ones you grow. Get the entire hell on!

“Due to the personal nature of this product and the risk of tampering with the glue, this product is not returnable.”

LMAO! The fact that they gotta put that means some degenerate somewhere got them and then went “These don’t work for me. I wanted the Conan O’brien. Not the Mary J Blige.”

Well, I guess this is justifiable for people who’ve lost their hair to chemo or alopecia, or something. The rest of you dustbunnies better not get no lacefront eyebrows!!! BET. THE HELL. NOT!!

How many squirrels had to die for shallow people to have “natural synthetic brows?” Possum fur ass brows. Noah ain’t build an ark with two of each animal (but forgetting the unicorns) for them to use their fur for this. HE AINT!  Jesus ain’t go to calvary for us to be rocking hairhats above our eyes.

Folks walking around with lacefront brows. God ain’t make eyebrow pencils for no reason.

And remember this girl?

*deep sigh* The hood is losing.

And is the herringbone chain the necklace of choice for the foolish? IDK. Alls I know is…

Would you get invisiwig eyebrows? And is old girl in the video above your cousin? You can tell us. We’re family here.

11 Comments

  1. June 8, 2011 at 7:13 am — Reply

    “celebrity status!” hahahahah I always loved this video!

    I definitely see the use of this product being beneficial to women who have suffered hair loss. But we all know this will make its way to people who just don’t need it! Are invisiwig brows better than that harsh blue-black line people draw on instead, tho?

  2. Gwen (@ashlee1969)
    June 8, 2011 at 7:32 am — Reply

    Jesus, take the wheel. Please??? SMH *sigh*

    • June 8, 2011 at 6:02 pm — Reply

      Chile, He already received 450 dealerships’ worth off that video alone. But yeah…

  3. Dee
    June 8, 2011 at 7:36 am — Reply

    Who is Frida Carlo?

  4. June 8, 2011 at 8:05 am — Reply

    SMDH…I hate everything that ever was and ever will be…

    Those things sit on her face like clay…reminds me of Gumby -> http://images.allposters.com/images/145/24101.jpg

    I’m done.

  5. June 8, 2011 at 8:24 am — Reply

    ARE.YOU.SERIOUS?????
    I can’t mofo deal. This is just….
    Like…what part of the gahtdamb game is this??? Lawd, the hood is gonna RUN AMOK with this. Just all types of willy nilly ass weave pieces about the eyebrow area.
    And you know its only a matter of time before Johnquaritara (or some such hood ratchetry) comes up with a 9.99 version, like they did with lacefronts. Never did understand how a hoodrat chick thinks her $100 lacefront looks as good as Beyonce’s $10,000 one…SMDH
    Before you know it, bishes gonna just be clipping the ends offa some #20 synthetic yakky and stickin’ it up there with brush on Kiss nail glue…Jesus take the wheel and be the vessel!

  6. LB
    June 8, 2011 at 10:17 am — Reply

    Ummmmmm….
    Hey Hate-y
    Errrrrr …
    Can i get yer celly?

    L “Turn ALL da way around girl! Whoa!” B

  7. June 8, 2011 at 6:12 pm — Reply

    *dialtone* I can’t deal. P.S. The hood has already lost.

  8. June 9, 2011 at 3:57 am — Reply

    E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. about this makes me wanna gouge my eyes out w/a fork. Everything!!

  9. June 15, 2011 at 1:06 pm — Reply

    ““Smoking on brows in the middle of the barn” steeze” — You know what? O_o… *dead*

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