Fashion

Eight-Inch Heels? No Thanks!

I’m a shoe fanatic, and I love heels and stilettos for their fierceness. I e’em got Must Luvv Shoes, a tumblr where I just post up pics of shoes I drool over love. My obsession knows NO bounds. However, I usually top off at 5 inches (with a 1 inch platform). Anything more, I do not want. At all.

Then I came across this video of someone walking in 8 inch heels and I spent the entire time cringing and giving the toughest of all side-eyes. Just watch the first 50 seconds. That is ALL you need to see.

*holds my breath as I watch this* I felt like if I breathed too hard this poor unfortunate soul would trip on air and fall. And that would just be tragical (yes. tragical). And I only watched til minute 2:00 until I stopped. My face was all twisted up in extreme side-eye and it started to hurt.

This is a bit foolish. Where is she going in those stilts? Who is she tryna impress? What if she fell? That looks like a guaranteed ankle sprain or fracture. GAH-RAHN-TEED!!! This is how people end up with NO knees by the age of 45. Just walking around kneeless #dinnamug like that’s what’s hot. NO MA’AMS!!! I like having joints in my legs. I value not having to do

There is no way in hell that this is good for your legs, your back or your life. 8 inches means you’re literally walking on your toes. That incline is like at a 62 degree angle (yes I made that number up. Don’t judge me). FAH WHAT???

I understand that fashion isn’t always about comfort but this just takes it to the extreme. Folk ain’t gotta rock this level of heel to achieve fierceness. Barbara Walters ain’t rock the first kitten heels to ever exist for ladies to be in rollercoaster heels. SHE AIN’T!

Anyways doe, would any of y’all rock these shoes? IF you said yes, you must be Lady Gaga. Or a masochist. Or is that redundant? Either way, iCan’t.

My recap to the Blogging While Brown Conference and my trip to LA shall be coming this week. Stay tuned and all’at good stuff.

27 Comments

  1. July 11, 2011 at 7:06 am — Reply

    These are sit-down shoes: I put them on, hobble to the bar, cross my legs and show off for two hours. When nobody’s looking (and after I’ve gotten all the attention I can stand), I switch them bishes out for flats. I have NO sense of balance. I’d break an arm in those.

  2. MissG
    July 11, 2011 at 7:17 am — Reply

    Like if you got them on & a murderer starts running at you…you just need to lay down and DIE! Cuz you gone kill yourself tryna run.

    • sincerelyalana
      July 12, 2011 at 5:28 pm — Reply

      LMAO!!

  3. Likeramona
    July 11, 2011 at 7:28 am — Reply

    Naaaawww, boo can keep her Barnum & Bailey Ringling Bros. joints! Watching that made me feel geriatric as hell! Made me wanna run out & buy the first pair of orthopedic walkers I could find. Shooo, now my knees hurt ;/

  4. Jazz
    July 11, 2011 at 7:32 am — Reply

    a. the ones Mr Louboutin made looked better
    b. WHYYYYYYYYYY?
    c. poor toes. poor ,poor, little piglets. The current amount of force on those is a shame.
    d. calls an excellent podiatrist and chiropractor for her

  5. Constance
    July 11, 2011 at 8:43 am — Reply

    Yeah these shoes are doing the absolute most. Chick almost fell about 38 times over the course of 3 minutes. smh If she goes down, something is definitely breaking.

  6. July 11, 2011 at 9:58 am — Reply

    Got damb!
    This is just wrong in every kind of way! I watched past the 50second mark and could only say oooooo!! At the 7 minute mark it looks like the heel was just about to give out on the left shoe, which would do nothing but cause all kinds of mayhem!

    Lawd, just take us all right now cause it can’t any worse!
    Reminds me of the ancient torture that Chinese women endured for men’s fetish’s sake–Chinese footbinding, a horrific practice.

    I won’t leave a link because it’s just too gory for the uninitiated. I’ve warned you.

  7. Starita34
    July 11, 2011 at 2:00 pm — Reply

    RAH-TARDED.

    And not even cute.
    #Fail on all levels-but they’re red though…I guess she’s got that going for her ;-)

  8. Starita34
    July 11, 2011 at 2:03 pm — Reply

    Now THESE shoes are worth reconstructive knee surgery! –> http://bit.ly/oGdSnR

  9. July 11, 2011 at 3:26 pm — Reply

    Those are the same style shoes Beyonce rocked in the Green Light video if you ain’t no ballerina you have no business in these shoes… hell if you are a ballerina you have no business in these shoes… smh you see this bish had to pause several times and rub her knees and take a break…that is not natural….no way!! Nnot even in bed!!! Hell 2 the Nawl meng!!!

  10. CaspercutieSTL
    July 11, 2011 at 4:19 pm — Reply

    Just looking at the still makes my ankles ache and my toes curl in rejection of this shoe.

  11. b.goody
    July 11, 2011 at 11:59 pm — Reply

    Oh my gosh! She almost tripped at 14 seconds! This is tragic…How are you making it to 2:00?!?

    • Ashley
      July 12, 2011 at 1:27 pm — Reply

      same thing I said

  12. July 12, 2011 at 1:05 am — Reply

    I had to look this mess up. Apparently these are a fetish boot called “Ballet Boots” and aren’t really meant for walking (duh!) though apparently a fetish model named Charlotte Brooke walked around at FetishCon (a bondage and fetish convention) for a full 9 hour day in a pair.
    Eff.that.noise!

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ballet_boot

  13. July 12, 2011 at 3:38 am — Reply

    These shoes aren’t for walking, though, so I don’t see what the fuss is about. These are fetish shoes for display in harnesses and the like only…not for walking.

  14. lilsoulsista
    July 12, 2011 at 8:20 am — Reply

    Cause of death: “fall from a standing height”

  15. Ashley
    July 12, 2011 at 1:25 pm — Reply

    okay 12 seconds in I stopped.

    maybe it’s b/c I have ear buds in my ears but hearing how those shoes sound as she’s walking made me want to yell out “somebody catch her” or maybe it’s b/c she was walking on the ground and not on the floor inside of a building.

    it was wrong but I could just see her taking a fall and it didn’t look pretty.

    these are window shopping shoes. where you see them in the window and instead of saying “I can’t even afford them” you say “I can’t even walk in them”

  16. Ashley
    July 12, 2011 at 1:30 pm — Reply

    *this may appear twice but my comment didn’t show up*

    when she almost fell 12 seconds in I wanted to yell out “somebody catch her”

    I saw Beyonce and Rihanna in shoes like these for their videos and said I wonder what it feels like to stand in shoes like these. I don’t want to know what walking in them feels like though, no thanks

  17. sincerelyalana
    July 12, 2011 at 5:20 pm — Reply

    Listen…when she tilted in that shoe I screamed and was like, “oh no!” My heart was pounding, and I was uncomfortable so I can only imagine what she is feeling.I want them to make these damn things illegal. Why would you even want to own these?

    My ankles cry for every girl who owns a pair of these.

    *rubs ankles and knees*

  18. sincerelyalana
    July 12, 2011 at 5:23 pm — Reply

    And furthermore, WHERE IS SHE GOING?! This chick walked for eight minutes straight in these shoes, for what? One minute would have been enough. You wouldn’t have gotten twenty seconds out of me.

  19. PurpleAfroPuffs
    July 12, 2011 at 8:29 pm — Reply

    Why do I thing she was walking with her arms straight out for balance *stupidchild*. Those babies should only be used as a only as a shoe shape vase for flowers or as a piece of art.

  20. chewbacca
    July 13, 2011 at 4:31 am — Reply

    these are not shoes, they are instruments of torture!

  21. Leo the Yardie Chick
    July 15, 2011 at 5:11 pm — Reply

    O_O

    I’m good with my height, thanks!

  22. JNH
    July 21, 2011 at 10:15 am — Reply

    The jeans are super distracting…the hems literally hurt my eyes.

  23. PrittiKitti
    August 13, 2011 at 11:28 pm — Reply

    The only way I’d wear 8 inch heels, is if they had a 3 inch platform. That shoe right there is just cruel!!

  24. PrittiKitti
    August 13, 2011 at 11:28 pm — Reply

    The only way I’d wear 8 inch heels, is if they had a 3 inch platform.

    That shoe right there is just cruel!!

  25. August 14, 2011 at 1:27 pm — Reply

    I had to lterally comfort and hug my bunions watching this….They were traumatized….

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