Famous folks

Face Tattoos Must Stop. Now.

Ok. There’s an explosion of face tattoos happening right now that has to stop. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. I keep coming across face tats, and every one of them is trifling and unnecessary in every way.

Before, folks tattooed 2 tear drops on their face when they were about the killing and gang life. 2 measly tear drops ain’t ruin the land. They were a bit much but still. They took up an inch under folks’ eyes. But lately, I wish the tear drops were the only things people got permanently etched on their visages.

Gucci Mane Face Tattoo

This dry-lipped slack-jawed yokel here... iCan't.

But no. Now people are getting any and everything tatted on their faces. Like they have no other body part to use. I blame Lil Wayne and Gucci Mane for this. I REALLY do. The minute Lil Wayne turned his face into a map of randomness and Gucci got an ice cream cone (that ish was not “cold.” It was stupid. As hell), other impressionable negros (and non-negros) followed suit. And I’m not okay with it. At all.

Face tattoosThese fools here…

People are using their faces as the world’s tackiest canvas.

Why would you want to get tatted on your face if you aren’t a rapper or tattoo artist? And if you aren’t a famous rapper yet, it probably won’t happen for you, statistically speaking, that is. A respectable job might be something you should try falling back on, and releasing MySpace mixtapes til you turn 50 is NOT respectable. Grow the hell up with your fool ass.

I just don’t understand the appeal of getting permanent makeup (which is what ink is) on your face, and a huge one at that too. Folks are walking around with their whole cheek covered with some randomness they might not even like next week. And what happens when they age and wrinkles happen. Those tattoos gon look like they’re melting. Nothing about that is attractive. And that is why they can’t have nice things.

And people who date people with face tattoos. Do you not look at your partner and jump back sometimes like “WHAT THE FUCK IS ON YOUR… Oh. It’s your tattoo.” I know I would. I’d wake up and check my pillows to see if anything rubbed off on em. NAWL SIR!

Everyone, just stop it. Tattoo artists, stop agreeing to do them. Like now. RIGHT NOW. Just stop.

That is all.

Updated with this:

Yeah. I quit.

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27 Comments

  1. yadi
    October 27, 2011 at 9:49 am — Reply

    how tragic…

    • November 13, 2011 at 10:51 pm — Reply

      Very much so.

  2. October 27, 2011 at 10:25 am — Reply

    Why did you not put up that fool Yung LA who got a “Duck Tape” tattoo on his face then had to get it covered up b/c the group he was portraying did not fox with him like that! It just leads me to believe that most of these fools are drunk and/or high when they go in to get these tattoos. And they should have every right to sue the tattoo artist when they wake up the next morning smelling like facepain and regret.

    • November 13, 2011 at 10:49 pm — Reply

      LAWD!!! Somebody got a duck tattoo on their face? i don’t have time. I DO NOT!

  3. Kina
    October 27, 2011 at 12:18 pm — Reply

    I see fools with these mess all the time. Its obvious that they don’t expect to ever get a job.

    • November 13, 2011 at 10:49 pm — Reply

      Ever in life.

  4. October 27, 2011 at 12:36 pm — Reply

    Aside from the fact Gucci looks like his breath smells like a whale carcass laid out on the beach for 4 days, the ice cream tattoo just looks trifling!

    I am waiting for folks to start complaining they are not getting hired because of tattoo prejudice. Hopefully they will realize their lack of proper decision-making skills causes them to lose out on opportunities, not a potential employer’s disdain for ratched-ass face tats. SMH…

    • November 13, 2011 at 10:43 pm — Reply

      I just read the whale comment, slammed my laptop shut and got up and walked away. Nothing else on the internet needs to be said. It’s done.

    • November 13, 2011 at 10:48 pm — Reply

      BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! Not a whale carcass. Listen, tell my mama I loved her.

  5. AS
    October 27, 2011 at 1:14 pm — Reply

    Luvvie,

    How did you miss the face tattoo that consisted of an entire paragraph filled with misspellings, malapropisms, neologisms, syntax errors, and abject failure?

    Mrs. King did not lose her husband for the likes of this.

    • November 13, 2011 at 10:46 pm — Reply

      I was just too outraged to fully read it.

  6. Kay
    October 27, 2011 at 1:52 pm — Reply

    I swear, my people be on some whole nutha leva bullshit….I aint no damn way, I’m taking you to Dallas to meeet my Big Mama so she can clown me and him to his face! (Big Mama is ratchet and raw like that. at 92, you say whats on ya chest!)..No way in hell!!!

    • November 13, 2011 at 10:42 pm — Reply

      Girl he wouldn’t e’em meet my pet goat, let alone Big Mama. That negro wouldn’t e’em know where I live.

  7. la mala
    October 27, 2011 at 2:21 pm — Reply

    dear luvvie,

    please stop trying to kill me with laughter and/or trying to get me fired.

    you are seriously all up in my head.
    fabulous post!

    -la mala

    • November 13, 2011 at 10:41 pm — Reply

      LOLLL!!! I’ont be doing nuffin. I just be speaking truths.

  8. October 27, 2011 at 8:38 pm — Reply

    -Sigh-
    Can we just disown Gucci Mane already? How are we supposed to be great when we have this fool out here cooning up everything? Martin Luther King is probably doing all types of gymnastic flips and cartwheels in his grave just because of fools like Gucci Mane -__-

    • November 13, 2011 at 10:41 pm — Reply

      I’d LOVE to drop Gucci Mane off in a forest and have him find his own way out. MLK is NOT pleased.

  9. October 27, 2011 at 8:51 pm — Reply

    beyond not being able to get a regular job with these tattoos, they are just plain unsightly…

    • November 13, 2011 at 10:39 pm — Reply

      They’re ugly AS ALL to be!

  10. naturalista88
    October 27, 2011 at 10:45 pm — Reply

    No that fool didn’t get “Ladies Love *can’t make out the last word*” tatted on his dayum upper lip. I hope his girlfriend dumped his ole stupid @ss for getting that (if he even has/had one). This is why I’m starting a colony on Mars, care to join me?

    • November 13, 2011 at 10:39 pm — Reply

      I hope no woman has committed herself to his wack ass. But knowing the low standards folks are having out here…

  11. October 28, 2011 at 1:11 am — Reply

    Awwe come on Luvvie you are not going to get the mother land tatted on your beautiful cheek? Nigerian flag? Shackles? Jesus on the cross?

    LMAO

    • November 13, 2011 at 10:39 pm — Reply

      LMAO!! My Nigerian mama would disown me.

  12. Elle
    November 3, 2011 at 9:41 pm — Reply

    Can’t hide all that ugly behind an ice cream cone. And why is his mouth open? Is he congested? Does he have an abnormally large tongue? SMH!!

    • November 13, 2011 at 10:39 pm — Reply

      Everything bout Gucci Mane just seems off. He looks like he smells like dinge. Ew.

  13. July 21, 2013 at 6:09 pm — Reply

    I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own weblog and was curious what all is required to get set up? I’m
    assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny?

    I’m not very internet savvy so I’m not 100% sure.
    Any recommendations or advice would be greatly appreciated.

    Kudos

  14. Norsequeen
    January 31, 2014 at 7:22 pm — Reply

    I see no problem with people decorating themselves in any way that they choose. They don’t do it for your approval & I really doubt they are terribly worried about your disapproval. It’s their bodies; why do you think that you should have a say in how it looks?? Best tend to your own garden before trying to pull the weeds in your neighbors’!!

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