Face Tattoos Must Stop. Now.

[ 27 ] October 27, 2011 |

Ok. There’s an explosion of face tattoos happening right now that has to stop. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. I keep coming across face tats, and every one of them is trifling and unnecessary in every way.

Before, folks tattooed 2 tear drops on their face when they were about the killing and gang life. 2 measly tear drops ain’t ruin the land. They were a bit much but still. They took up an inch under folks’ eyes. But lately, I wish the tear drops were the only things people got permanently etched on their visages.

Gucci Mane Face Tattoo

This dry-lipped slack-jawed yokel here... iCan't.

But no. Now people are getting any and everything tatted on their faces. Like they have no other body part to use. I blame Lil Wayne and Gucci Mane for this. I REALLY do. The minute Lil Wayne turned his face into a map of randomness and Gucci got an ice cream cone (that ish was not “cold.” It was stupid. As hell), other impressionable negros (and non-negros) followed suit. And I’m not okay with it. At all.

Face tattoosThese fools here…

People are using their faces as the world’s tackiest canvas.

Why would you want to get tatted on your face if you aren’t a rapper or tattoo artist? And if you aren’t a famous rapper yet, it probably won’t happen for you, statistically speaking, that is. A respectable job might be something you should try falling back on, and releasing MySpace mixtapes til you turn 50 is NOT respectable. Grow the hell up with your fool ass.

I just don’t understand the appeal of getting permanent makeup (which is what ink is) on your face, and a huge one at that too. Folks are walking around with their whole cheek covered with some randomness they might not even like next week. And what happens when they age and wrinkles happen. Those tattoos gon look like they’re melting. Nothing about that is attractive. And that is why they can’t have nice things.

And people who date people with face tattoos. Do you not look at your partner and jump back sometimes like “WHAT THE FUCK IS ON YOUR… Oh. It’s your tattoo.” I know I would. I’d wake up and check my pillows to see if anything rubbed off on em. NAWL SIR!

Everyone, just stop it. Tattoo artists, stop agreeing to do them. Like now. RIGHT NOW. Just stop.

That is all.

Updated with this:

Yeah. I quit.

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Category: Famous folks

Comments (27)

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  1. yadi says:

    how tragic…

  2. MissMaryMack says:

    Why did you not put up that fool Yung LA who got a “Duck Tape” tattoo on his face then had to get it covered up b/c the group he was portraying did not fox with him like that! It just leads me to believe that most of these fools are drunk and/or high when they go in to get these tattoos. And they should have every right to sue the tattoo artist when they wake up the next morning smelling like facepain and regret.

  3. Kina says:

    I see fools with these mess all the time. Its obvious that they don’t expect to ever get a job.

  4. RozB says:

    Aside from the fact Gucci looks like his breath smells like a whale carcass laid out on the beach for 4 days, the ice cream tattoo just looks trifling!

    I am waiting for folks to start complaining they are not getting hired because of tattoo prejudice. Hopefully they will realize their lack of proper decision-making skills causes them to lose out on opportunities, not a potential employer’s disdain for ratched-ass face tats. SMH…

  5. AS says:

    Luvvie,

    How did you miss the face tattoo that consisted of an entire paragraph filled with misspellings, malapropisms, neologisms, syntax errors, and abject failure?

    Mrs. King did not lose her husband for the likes of this.

  6. Kay says:

    I swear, my people be on some whole nutha leva bullshit….I aint no damn way, I’m taking you to Dallas to meeet my Big Mama so she can clown me and him to his face! (Big Mama is ratchet and raw like that. at 92, you say whats on ya chest!)..No way in hell!!!

  7. la mala says:

    dear luvvie,

    please stop trying to kill me with laughter and/or trying to get me fired.

    you are seriously all up in my head.
    fabulous post!

    -la mala

  8. Krista says:

    -Sigh-
    Can we just disown Gucci Mane already? How are we supposed to be great when we have this fool out here cooning up everything? Martin Luther King is probably doing all types of gymnastic flips and cartwheels in his grave just because of fools like Gucci Mane -__-

  9. beyond not being able to get a regular job with these tattoos, they are just plain unsightly…

  10. naturalista88 says:

    No that fool didn’t get “Ladies Love *can’t make out the last word*” tatted on his dayum upper lip. I hope his girlfriend dumped his ole stupid @ss for getting that (if he even has/had one). This is why I’m starting a colony on Mars, care to join me?

  11. DivaKattGurl says:

    Awwe come on Luvvie you are not going to get the mother land tatted on your beautiful cheek? Nigerian flag? Shackles? Jesus on the cross?

    LMAO

  12. Elle says:

    Can’t hide all that ugly behind an ice cream cone. And why is his mouth open? Is he congested? Does he have an abnormally large tongue? SMH!!

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  14. Norsequeen says:

    I see no problem with people decorating themselves in any way that they choose. They don’t do it for your approval & I really doubt they are terribly worried about your disapproval. It’s their bodies; why do you think that you should have a say in how it looks?? Best tend to your own garden before trying to pull the weeds in your neighbors’!!

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