Last night, I watched the reunion special of “Basketball Wives LA and live-tweeted it. Here are my thoughts on what went down, and I’mo just do it per person present.
* Whose idea was it to get John Salley to host this special? Was La La busy? Did Wendy Williams say no? Hell, get Saaphyri from past seasons of
“For the Love of Beefy Jerky” “Flavor of Love.” Anybody could have been better at it. Don’t get me wrong. John Salley seems to be a very nice guy. And this is precisely why he was the wrong person to host this. VH1 needs someone bitchy to go tit-for-tat with these women. Like throwing a kitten into a lion den. A tall kitten, but a kitten nonetheless.
Also, when did John Salley’s legacy go from NBA legend (maybe) to host of reality tv specials? Can someone tell me when this career change happened?
Oh and who dressed him? The suit was bland gray, ill-fitting and only added more bore to an already boring persona. I feel like saying “no offense” here because John really seems nice but I’m saying. And no offense is pretty much the stamp for “I’m a jerk I’m about to say is full of snark.” Womp.
* Malaysia, Malaysia, let down your weave. She looked nice, and her weave was really full. She’s one of the 2 Basketball Wives I like (Draya’s the other).
And she’s actually 1 of 2 who is actually a wife, so super kudos to her. She seems like a really nice person too, which is why I like her. No, her veneers don’t fit her mouth all the way but in spite of that, I dig her. But when John asked her what constitutes a hoodrat, she gave a definition that was actually closer to what a “hoe” is, as my homie @YoungSinick pointed out. She said a hoodrat is someone who sleeps with a lot of different men. Nawl, ‘Laysia Mae. Hoodrattedness is a mentality that calls for lots of drama ALLA TAHM. It crosses all ethnicities, class, and weave color. Most of her castmates are hoodrats. Malaysia, is not. And for this, I am a fan.
* Laura Govan looked really nice on the reunion show. She really girly girled herself up and I loved it. Her face was BEAT and that red lip? YES HONEY! Plus, she won me over when she was telling Imani that all she needs is an *coughs* unplugging of sorts. Laura acted right, apart from her shadeful stares at Draya for some of it.
* Gloria Govan was asked about her and Matt Barnes. Her answers were all extra careful and she let us know she’s now living by herself. And interesting to learn that her and Matt are still freak buddies, even though they aren’t together (hard to let go of that old goody, huh?). According to her, they “never got the opportunity to get to know each other.” WHATCHA’LL BEEN DOING FOR FIVE YEARS, GLO?!? I guess 5 years isn’t enough to get to know your partner, even though you have 2 kids together and shacked up. Ok, Gloria.
Oh yes, AND apparently, she got an acting gig. Meanwhile, ain’t nobody checked on Monica Calhoun in ages. I’m a little bit bitter about that.
* Imani also looked nice. Her dress was dope and her weave was tight. Go’on girl! Of course she’s still as charismatic as an orthopedic shoe but that’s neither here nor there. Homegirl is boring so I barely remember anything she said. All I remember is her squawking with Jackie Christie at one point. Which brings me to the fact that…
* Jackie Christie‘s a bit nuts. That lady is unstable in so many ways and if this reunion didn’t show that, I don’t know what will. She talked in circles the whole show and interrupted where she wasn’t relevant.
She acted a fool and I think she might need medication. There’s a bit of something similar to delusions of grandeur there and I just need her to talk to a professional. How Doug Christie deals with that on a regular is beyond me. Maybe he’s afraid to leave.
As if Jackie acting a fool wasn’t enough. Her look wasn’t much better than her behavior. That phony pony of hers was in full effect. There is a horse in Detroit freezing its ass off RIGHT NOW. And her hair was permed within an inch of its’ life. It was pasted to her scalp in that “I just got it done 10 minutes ago” way. I bet she still had scalp sores. That might have been why she was so cranky.
And her clothes! Jackie squoze herself in this all black #alphet that was meant for someone half her age, without consideration of Spanx or support undergarments. And that was rude of her. Spanx ain’t e’em that ‘spensive! She coulda gotten herself a piece so she wouldn’t look so busted in that dress. PLUS, the underarm fat spillage wouldn’t let her be great the entire time. Looking like a burnt chicken. “Tank top screaming ‘Lotto, I don’t fit you!’” face. This is the importance of knowing how to dress for your shape, size and crazy.
That chile needs holy water and medication, I sweafoLAWD!
* Draya was there looking adorabo. Iunno why I like her. She seems like a lost child who just needs a mentor and life coach. Do I think she was a negligent mother? Probably. She doesn’t have her son with her, which is probably for the best. She seems like a nice chick though, who has just made some really bad decisions (like dating Chris Brown). I got a lil soft spot for Draya and I’ont like how they came for her head during the seasons. She doesn’t OWE any of these stranger bishes explanations.
BUT when she turned to Jackie talmbout “Who do you think that you are to google me?” Ummm… THE PUBLIC. Ma’am…
Anywho, those are my thoughts of Part 1 of the reunion. Part 2 comes on next week and it looks like it’ll be crazy as hell. I’ll be watching!
Did you watch this one? Whatchu think?
#Shourrout to Style Me Prissy for most of these pics. See her fashion post for the reunion here.