VideosWhose is this?

Whose Late Ratchet Grandpa is This?

I was on Tumblr when this video came across my dashboard. And I didn’t e’em know what to think.

NSFW, btw.

The fact that he starts it off by cussing because he couldn’t figure out if it was on or not is just… LULZ. And then “if you’re watching this, it means the diabeetus finally got me.”

He leaves his house and savings to his wife, a timeshare to his daughter. AND THEN he gets to his son and leaves… *pauses for 5 seconds* his collection of dildos because “the human penis is a beautiful thing.” 1,000 dildos. Chile, I am unable. I AM UNABLE, I SAY!!!

As if that wasn’t bad enough. He ends the video by throwing massive shade at his son-in-law Ken, because he’s Asian. And then ends the video with “Screw you, Ken!”

WHOSE LATE RATCHET GRANDPAPI IS THIS?!?

May he rest in peace.

20 Comments

  1. AQualityMess
    November 25, 2011 at 2:41 pm — Reply

    Luvvie.

    Why must you bring me such ratchetness? Now I have to show everyone. You won’t allow me to be shit.

    • November 27, 2011 at 6:11 pm — Reply

      Hahahahaha, I can’t.

  2. manda
    November 25, 2011 at 2:54 pm — Reply

    I have not laughed that hard in a long time! Tears were falling out of my eyes. He said it so calm. Can you imagine being in the room when that was played. I have no couth, they would have put me out. #FLATLINED

  3. November 25, 2011 at 2:57 pm — Reply

    You know what I’m the most mad at? (other than they all fit most nicely in the tuches)

    The giant swan just staring at him all creepy at throughout the whole thing.

    • November 27, 2011 at 5:06 am — Reply

      Girl that is a crane and for the life of me I swore it was going to gouge his eyes out!!! LMAO

  4. Shan
    November 25, 2011 at 3:28 pm — Reply

    I think I need to lie down now!!! “…lifelike fake d**ks” Grandpappy?! They fit where?! What?! Somebody need to talk to Granny, I’m sure she suffers from some type of PTSD!!! Lawd!!!

  5. bklynbajan
    November 25, 2011 at 5:17 pm — Reply

    If I don’t make it to the pearlie gates I’m coming back for you Luvvie! I wish I could quit you though…

  6. November 25, 2011 at 7:49 pm — Reply

    He has dicks in the bank! In a safe deposit box! Don’t worry they fit nicely…I can’t even type laughing at this mess!

    He is not only mad at Ken ’cause he’s Asian, but he says he never ate his gefilte fish at Passover. If his family was sitting all together to watch this, I know somebody was doing a major wall slide, with his son kicking the crap out of furniture.

    I know nobody wants to trade their inheritances with him. Oh Lawd – why?!?!?!

  7. November 25, 2011 at 9:52 pm — Reply

    WWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???

    I hope his son doesn’t pick up the dildos, and that locker ends up on the next episode of Storage Wars. The one in the safe deposit box needs to be on Antiques Road Show

    • blackladyblue
      November 25, 2011 at 11:02 pm — Reply

      This response right here… just gold. Imagine when they open up the locker that someone won and it’s just a plethora of penii!

      • bklynbajan
        November 27, 2011 at 10:31 am — Reply

        I can already see the snark on “The Soup”, Jimmy Kimmel and Saturday Night Live with Justin Timberlake remixing his d in a box song….One of ya’ll twitter folks better tweet this to him!

      • December 11, 2011 at 4:49 pm — Reply

        A plethora of penii !!!! Oh my gawd!

        That phrase ought to be a name of Woman’s club! Good Vibrations need to rename themselves with that!

        It’s epic! It’s classic! It’s wrong, but it’s right!

  8. November 26, 2011 at 2:44 am — Reply

    Someone please check and see if Ronald Isley is available to sing at my funeral. I’ll take Babyface if Ron is still in jail.

    Dead and Gone.

    Pappy and his level of ratchet is unfathomable. I can’t.

  9. TeeNikki
    November 26, 2011 at 9:06 am — Reply

    Dearest Luvvie,

    I hate you with every fiber of my being. EVERY.LAST.ONE. Why would you be so rude to us, your adoring fans? Some of us may have been drinking a Peppermint Hot Chocolate from McDeath. Others may have been eating some Cookie Crisp right outta the bag *raises hand*. You don’t give a shat about our health and well being, not to mention the well being of our high priced electronics that are now covered in said Peppermint Hot Chocolate or Cookie Crisp dust. The high level of ratchetness, in conjunction with G-Pa’s astounding level of triflinity makes this post an abomination ‘fo Gawdt.

    You ain’t shat.

    With love,
    TeeNikki

    PS, I will pay for cable for one day to see this episode on Storage Wars. That episode woulr be EV.ER.Y.THING.

    • vanita applebum
      November 28, 2011 at 11:02 am — Reply

      This sentence gave me life today:

      The high level of ratchetness, in conjunction with G-Pa’s astounding level of triflinity makes this post an abomination ‘fo Gawdt.

      *loud cackling in my cubicle*

  10. November 26, 2011 at 1:47 pm — Reply

    OMG! Please..oh lord..dont let this be real. PLEASE OH LORTTTY!!! *cries laughing*

    • ucity88
      November 27, 2011 at 11:53 pm — Reply

      I am absolutely positive this video is as fake as the dildos (dildoes?) he’s leaving his son…

      BOO!

  11. November 27, 2011 at 5:20 am — Reply

    It is 5:11 AM NYC time do you know it is too early to be whoopin’ and hollerin’ up in here!!! OMG Why do I do this to myself.

    I have quit you how many times this year? What about last year?! I think this is your most ratchet filled post yet.

    OMG at the collection of dildos!!! What is it with Jewish men and their tuckus?! This is not the first time I have heard they have a anal freaky side… I cannot even tell you what famous person has a freaky side to him but is still married and wife knows about it … she doesn’t sleep with him anymore o__O

    Damn girl I hatechu right about now!!! I am going to tweet and facebook this because I will not go to hell alone … nope cannot and I will not!!

    Bwuahahahaha smh insanity ..really Pappy you telling Ken to fuck off cuz he won’t eat some nasty fish in a jar?! GTFOH

    P.S. Hell yes would love to see that on storage wars too f’n hysterical!

  12. Mimi
    November 28, 2011 at 12:44 pm — Reply

    Yes I died and came back!

  13. That Dude
    December 8, 2011 at 3:36 pm — Reply

    …….afsdanvsdnrgrkawe@E$@)(@$

    I hope you’re hiring, Luvvie, cuz I might get fired laughing at this man. Iont eem care if it’s fake, cuz it’s HILARIOUS!!

    And he has one in a safe deposit box…in Bank of America. Can you imagine the day that’s withdrawn?!

    iQuit you, Luvvie! Call me.

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