The 50 Dumbest Tweets of 2011. Part 1

[ 50 ] December 27, 2011 |

Last year, Miss Zindzi and I collaborated to bring you the 25 Dumbest Tweets of 2010, summarizing a year’s worth of stupidity on Twitter into 25 highlights (or lowlights, depending on how you look at it). It was so well-received that it spurred me to create DumbestTweets.com to chronicle the foolishness that takes place in 140 characters as they happen. 11 months after creating it, over 1,000 tweets have been posted there. And there are still 350 in queue that haven’t been published. As long as Twitter exists, it will never run out of material. Thanks to everyone who has submitted tweets HERE this year.

So, having 1,000 tweets to pick from this time made it hard to just do 25 dumbest. This year, I gotta do 50. And deciding which 50 I went with was soooo tough. So, here’s the first 25, in no particular order of foolishness:

50 Dumbest Tweets of 2011: First 25

1.

Alphet. ALPHET. This tweet has changed how I say “outfit” in real life. And I’m not pleased. But I am hella amused.

2. RT @PatPreezy: A tear is 1% water, 99% feelings

This tweet is 100% foolish. Sir, go have a seat. He must be tryna write songs for Drake. WOMP.

3. RT @cmaysphoto: Man A’s colored Benz. I pull miracle whips.

Wait. WAYMENT. “Man A’s” is supposed to be Mayonnaise??? iQuit. I can’t e’em…

4.

How many errors can be in ONE tweet??? Oxford didn’t create his dictionary by candlelight for folks to come through and disrespect the English language like this!

5. RT @JoJo831: My hand hurts I think I have carpet tunnel

RT @EastSideKris: I got carpool tunnel

This CARPAL tunnel struggle is real out here.

6. RT @stephieM_xoxo_: I wanna do something that 90% mental Nd 40% physical

SEE?? She’s a go-getter. 130% is how she lives her life! Get like her! (-__-)

7. RT @_FlockaZulu: She rite. I luh me some Fillay minyon

RT @ExclusiveAccess: I normally only eat Filet Menion but this lemon grass steak at #StraitsATL. SMH #awesome

RT @Dash_tv: you think that hoe fila ming yong but she’s churches chicken… #ha

Flaming Young

Filet mignon doesn’t deserve this. People need to just stick to eating what they can spell. I’ont wanna eat anything “flaming” unless they’re cheetos.

8. RT @gtrain88 June 31, 2010. I’ll forever remember that date.

February 31, 2011. It was also memorable for me. O_O

9.

No. *EYE* need to be taken higher for this. If you can’t spell “silhouette” you better say “shadow!” Lawd…

10. RT @NaeYouCrazyy My dads son is sexy tho

You mean your brother? Oh. Ok. (-___-)

11. RT @BrentniBillionz: Why are the MySpace hoes & bitches on tumblr? Yall not supposed to upgrade your down grades and hammy downs. 

“Hammy downs.” Not “hand me downs” but “hammy.” I’m tired.

12.

 

He musta painted it right before the Titanic went down. o_O

13. RT @belliott404 Receipting hairline with cornrows #thataintwinning

A receipting hairline must be edges with proof of purchase. Oh. That ain’t it? Aight then. (-___-)

14.

So Casey was rocking borrowed jewelr… Wait. This fool means “Jury.” iCan’t. And iWon’t.

15.

*counts on fingers* *carries the one* *multiplies by 2* Wait… WHAT??? Ma’am…

16. RT @markellmommy: Who tryna lick my click?

No one wants to lick your remote, ma’am! Oh you mean… Girl STOP! (-___-)

17. RT @SheAHotMama: OMG, this is the best seizure salad ever…

I don’t even wanna know what is in a “seizure salad.” I prefer CAESAR salads. O__O

18. 

Pay amish? Do they accept PayPal or…?

19. RT @Mr845Himself: What of I told y’all I had a low self coincidence. 

What “of” we told him we believed it? “Low self coincidence” is something I don’t want. I’m confident of that. O_O

20. 

As she tweets from an iPhone. OK GIRL. O_O

21. RT: @kayjizzle: How far is GA from Atlanta?

RT: @Envy_kristen: I never new Las Vegas was in Nevada

RT: @meelie94: Does Africa have a capital?

RT @jacaristar: I can’t wait to visit the great state of chicago.

*starts a petition for Geography classes to be reinstated in schools everywhere*

22.

“Mini pulse” though. I don’t e’em… I DON’T HAVE TIME.

23. RT @therealpinkyXXX: #agoodboyfriend is an endangered spices

Like the rarest of nutmegs. (-___-)

24. 

But Illinois is more of a loner. I heard Cali gets the party started though.

25.

If you don’t succeed, try again. And FAIL the second time too. Who knew “hypocrites” was so hard to spell?

I really shake my head at this stupidity that happens on Twitter. Failed logic and spelling is rampant. The schools are failing us all.

So yes, this is just part 1. Here’s part 2 of the 50 Dumbest Tweets of 2011. Getchu a piece of those too!

Oh, and Tyrese isn’t on the list for a reason. If I had included him on this list, he’d make up at least 10 of the tweets. So I decided to do a 25 Dumbest Celebrity Tweets list too, to come later this week.

Check out the DumbestTweets.com. Updated almost daily with the dumbest tweets that we see on Twitter as they happen. You can also submit the dumb tweets you see there.

Which is your favorite out of these FAILS? Do you follow or know someone who ended up on this list? 


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Category: Dumbest Tweets, Social Media

Comments (50)

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  1. Silk! says:

    I smiled at the memories…but the Steve Jobs tweet made me laugh out loud. Just like the first time I read it.

  2. *taps mic* Ladies and Gentlemen of AweLuv, I beseech thee – should your city council decide to cut public education, please email them this post. Do it for the eleventeen million children who are left behind *sobs*

    • brown skin lady says:

      I agree. If this shows anything, it shows the problems in the educational system.

      • SeesTheTruth says:

        Not so much the educational system, as the lack of guidance in the home. I know that my children are taught first and foremost at home and I constantly keep up with everything they do in school. I think it’s time the people take responsibility for the serious deficiencies in the competence of today’s youth and stop passing the blame on to the teachers who are over-worked, under-appreciated and under-paid.

  3. LMAOO @ “Seizure Salad” and “Missouri loves company…” followed by: But Illinois is more of a loner. I heard Cali gets the party started though. I laughed out loud the whole time with points of cackling.

  4. kristyn says:

    uh, luvvie?
    this just hurts.
    oh, my people my people.

  5. Erin says:

    “Hammy downs”……………….TEARS!!!

  6. Ms. Williams says:

    My inner English teacher is rolling around on the floor. Sweet Lord!! I can’t even process some of those.

  7. Capricorn says:

    Having been born in the great state of Missouri, I have no words for that child
    The red squiggly line is your fruend. So is this big book called a dictionary. Its got words AND spellings AND their definitions in it. Fascinating concept.

    *smh*
    Iweep for the youth.

  8. Bless these kids hearts, especially Draya…I mean she couldn’t google that man before she posted that?

  9. Mick says:

    #14 actually makes sense because there are grown tailed adults that pronounce “jewelry” as “jury” o_O

  10. mochazina says:

    I don’t know if I’m a lil disturbed or proud that I couldn’t figure out what #4 was really trying to say.

  11. naturalista88 says:

    The one about the height doe…

  12. Sub-rosa says:

    I giggled out loud at some of these but I’m also saddened by the ignorance. People are really brazenly illiterate out here. Thanks for breaking this up into two parts, I couldn’t have taken all 50 at once. Shamefully, I look forward to part two so I can get another glimpse into the bleak world of unabashed stupidity.

  13. Bridgette says:

    I got to number 4 and cried real tears. REAL FREAKING TEARS. I still don’t know what she is trying to say but I’m still laughin. These po babies.

  14. JR says:

    This list made my day…LMAO

  15. gee_maurice says:

    #24 is actually a phrase from a t-shirt.

  16. Eric says:

    dude who “corrected” his misspelled tweet was hilarious

  17. Rissa says:

    I feel like having to correct this would be an excellent quiz for students pursuing a BA/BS in English.
    Except for #4. That’s a PhD question.

  18. Nickle says:

    I can’t get enough of this Filet Mignon struggle. XD Can’t even spell the damn thing, but oh you fancy huh?

  19. Danchrism says:

    Hey Luvvie,

    I’m not saying this with a cape on, but I think @PatPreezy was lampooning that idiot @iRespectFemales when he posted that tweet. Occasionally he does that. May I offer a suggestion or three?

    http://twitter.com/#!/Nieshaaaa_/status/141008156460449792 (pedifile)

    http://twitter.com/#!/dotkas/status/139784629958881280 (determine nations)

    http://twitter.com/#!/lexxaye/status/137458886117568512 (chic fa la)

    (sorry I don’t have originals on the last two)

  20. Charlotte says:

    The Steve Jobs one made me laugh because I have a friend with an iPhone, iTunes, and a bunch of other Apple stuff and did not know who Steve Jobs was until he died. I side-eyed so hard my eyeballs started to hurt!

  21. So remember how I’ve been advocating for that Twitter Aptitude Test? Yeah can we make this happen in 2012 bruh? God didn’t have his stenographer chisel the Ten Commandments on Cicely Tyson’s foot for this blatant disrespect..

    WHERE IS MAVIS BEACON?

  22. Randy says:

    LMAO at “Missouri loves company”! And Draya’s Steve Jobs’ tweet from an Iphone is like saying “I dont know who Thomas Edison is but let me pay this ConEd bill right quick”!

  23. MyzDevyneOne says:

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *cant breeve* Why must you slay me so!?!? My stomach hurts, I’mm laughin so hard!!

  24. Toya says:

    iGrieve!!!!! Lord help!

  25. Tim says:

    Oh Lord is this our future?

  26. Clinton says:

    LMFAO my jaws hurt and my sides hurt from laughing so hard from these damn tweets. These two posts have brought me such joy LOL

  27. L. says:

    Post like these make my year. I cannot wait for the Dumbest Tweets of 2012.

  28. dj says:

    HAAA this was too funny, I think the funniest one to me was FLAMING YOUNG. I’m still laughing at that one.

    • Shakira says:

      It doesn’t matter how many times I read these, I crack up. And want to weep at the same damn time. When that baby said “I normally only eat filet menion” I was just done! You can’t even spell it boo boo. Why are you tryna front like you are just every bit of the ish and more? That tweet showcases many more problems than just her lack of education. smh

  29. K says:

    Wow. Ghetto black people can’t spell for shit, lmao.

  30. KarenInSacramento says:

    I have to say, out of all the dumbness here, the one that really caught my eye was “mulested.”

    The animals are tired of all that beastiality, and now they’re turning the tables! o_O

  31. Luckiestar says:

    That Steve Jobs one…omg!!!

  32. H.S. teacher says:

    If you are going to blast today’s educational system, I would suggest you get YOUR English correct.
    It’s ‘Failed logic and spelling ARE rampant.’

  33. Mari-Lize says:

    My favorite must be “Does Africa have a capital?” Africa consists of 55 UN recognised countries. It is the second largest continent on the planet. More than 1,256,550,000 people live on this continent. I myself live at the southernmost tip of it. What do people think goes on here? Do they know how big it is? I live in a third world country, but it will appear that our education system allows my second language and geographic knowledge to surpass theirs… ?

  34. Andrea says:

    Each and every person on your list has the makings of a great lawsuit, but especially #15-17. Not just against the schools that attended, but their parents as well. SMH.

  35. Angel says:

    On “Missouri loves company” I’m from Missouri and the Missouri/misery pun is used a lot around here, so maybe it’s clever wordplay? D: (I hope…)

  36. Pierre says:

    I still wonder what ‘rechid’ means (for the rechid and forgotton).
    I don’t get ‘Missouri loves company’ either.
    I recently asked someone to leave Hippocrates alone on facebook, since this doctor who died about 2400 years ago had nothing to do with Syria or gay marriage or whatever the topic was.

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