Man, I be minding my own business when y’all bring stuff to my attention that I was previously oblivious to, thereby ruining my innocence and making me roast into oblivion. My homette, Veronica Marche, tweeted this link to me yesterday talmbout: “Where’s Luvvie? I need to know if she’s ever seen this video.” I, like a fool, clicked it and here’s what met me:
“Whatzupwitu.” Wait. I don’t understand. Did Michael Jackson (rest his soul) lose a bet that forced him to record this song AND make the equally crappy video with Eddie Murphy? I need to know. For reasons. He HAD to have. We already know that Eddie’s musical career is chock full of bad decisions. But the King of Pop had no excuse to do this. NONE.
That video must have been edited using the first ever edition of MS Paint. All them music notes and hearts flying around the screen. The early 90s were a tacky time in music videos. Not tacky like now where everyone is naked but tacky as in every video looked like a MySpace page. Hmmm… maybe 90s videos were actually futuristic then.
I thought “Party all the time” was bad, but that looks like “Man in the Mirror” compared to this one. “Whatzupwitu?” Was that raggelly spelling supposed to make this song cool? Because it didn’t. Some balding producer came up with the name and said “all the hip kids will love it.” WE DON’T. Well, this came out in 1993 and I was 8, and certainly not cool then. Nor am I now. BUT IF I WAS, I still wouldn’t vibe with this.
Yeah. Y’all can’t tell me MJ didn’t lose a bet. He did. That is my story and I’m sticking to it. Meanwhile, I will not let Eddie Murphy’s music career cook. Or bake. Or boil. Or simmer lightly. I just won’t allow it to even toast.
“Eddie Murphy’s music career is his most successful joke yet.” – Veronica.
And to Veronica. I AM JUDGING YOU. For introducing this to me, my judging eyes are upon you. If I was petty, I’d let everyone know you owned Eddie’s album. But I’m not. So I won’t. I should block you from my life for introducing this to me. I was living a blissful life of ignorance to this foolishness. BLISSFUL, I SAY! Now I know that MJ did this crappy record with Eddie. V’s lucky I love her. LOL
Oh yes! I forgot. Can we talk about Eddie’s tucked-in tank top in the video? I bet yall money he had on church dress shoes that go “click clack” if you walk on tile. I JUST KNOWED HE DID. Eddie looked like he knew he was FAHN in his singlet. I’m glad I didn’t see any taco meat. Because that’s what I wouldn’t be able to handle.
Ennehweighs, I had to share!