Videos

Patti LaHelle Wins The YouTubes With “The Uninvited”

And yes, I meant “The YouTubes.” I first discovered Patti LaHelle’s videos in September when I saw the “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner” video and I was slayed DEADT! Well there’s a new one and it is chock full of gems.

*lays out*

My favorite lines:

Whitney: “Team Jesus. Team Soldiers for Christ. THAT’s the team I’m on!”

Mariah: “One uses sunglasses to shade the CLASSLESS!”

Beyonce: “At the time, no one had told us it was Brandy Norwood and that she was a guest of a guest of a guest…Maybe she was signed up to perform for us. I mean, the bathrooms are very spacious.”

Janet: “And I said we all have something you don’t here and she said ‘Are you being shady?’ and I said no I’m being obvious. We all have invitations.”

Patti: “I love Brandy. I really do. But ever since Janet went to Nutrisystem, she’s had the strength of a crackhead. That wig was laying on the floor like it had a grudge against everybody.”

LMAOOOOO at all the Brandy shade though! And Mathew Knowles being the person who started the fight got me crying!

Beyonce: “Mathew Knowles? It sounds familiar. But I think my father right now is Jesus Christ Lord and Savior.”

EVERYTHING Tamar said had me rolling. “H-T-T-P colon forward slash slash www dot lies dot com! Ain’t nobody jealous of no TONTEE BRAXTON!”

But my favorite line in all of this is: “Haters are people who read with no resume and critique without credentials.” iLIVE!!

Lemme not transcribe the whole video but this ish is HILARIOUS! And Erykah Badu coming in at the end talmbout “they didn’t even have no aura.” It was twice as funny because she’d say something like that for real.

Ennehweighs, this is 10 minutes of awesome that I need you to getchu a piece of. “Got2BReal” is everything.

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17 Comments

  1. sincerelyalana
    January 23, 2012 at 1:18 am — Reply

    Girl! This is everything. I’ve been watching from the beginning and I LOVE it! These were some of my favorites:

    “Who read your palm and told you lies?”

    “It was Brandy Norwood & she was a guest of a guest of a guest. She was signed up to sing for us, I mean the bathrooms are very spacious.”

    “Janet, your nephews name might as well be sleeping bag, comforter, bed sheet. And Tamar your album doesn’t even have a name.”

    *falls the hell out*

    Just give me a minute.

  2. Marsha S. Haneiph
    January 23, 2012 at 2:57 am — Reply

    Oh my gosh, I loved this. The Janet and Mariah were dead-on!

  3. Gina
    January 23, 2012 at 4:24 am — Reply

    I started laughing so damn hard, I had to pause and rewind. CLASSIC!

  4. January 23, 2012 at 5:09 am — Reply

    i died at 8:31

  5. lexi
    January 23, 2012 at 8:23 am — Reply

    LOL!!!THANK YOU FOR THE PICK ME UPPER!!LMAO!!

  6. Tiffany
    January 23, 2012 at 9:40 am — Reply

    I haven’t finished the whole video yet, but can we just recognize how Patti LaBelle looks a GOOD 33 yrs. old!! Ain’t she in her 60s…I wanna age like her when I grow up!

  7. Meerah
    January 23, 2012 at 11:44 am — Reply

    That was the funniest! EVER!!!! I so needed this right now. Trying to silent giggle at work is HARD though.

  8. Chamika
    January 23, 2012 at 2:07 pm — Reply

    “Janet, your nephew’s name might as well be sleeping bag, comforter, bedsheet, and Tamar, your album doesn’t even have a name”

    and I’m done for the day. LMAO

  9. naturalista88
    January 23, 2012 at 3:06 pm — Reply

    Did Patti say Keri’s pocketbook was filled w/two Newports, frankincense AND myrrh?? Oh goodness gracious *lol*.

    • January 24, 2012 at 3:39 am — Reply

      Yes, she did! And for some reason I could just hear the real Patti saying that!

  10. J Just Jay
    January 23, 2012 at 6:02 pm — Reply

    “You bitches ain’t bout to sacrifice me.”

    _______________________Flatline________________

    *DEAD*

  11. Kenneth
    January 23, 2012 at 6:09 pm — Reply

    *DEAD* @ the whole thing, but why does Dionne Warwick sound like Samuel L. Jackson?? Hilarious!!!

  12. Lina
    January 24, 2012 at 6:39 am — Reply

    WHEN BEYONCE JUMPED AT THE SIGHT OF KERI HILSON I FKN DIED!!! Omg anyway whew. They changed the original Whitney voice , this voice over speaker sounds like a man whyy? Hm Lmao Dion husky voice is so damn funny. Patty stay calling her nicotine or a talkn cigarette Lmao. Mariah n patty are so spot onnn. Yo Aretha looks a mess Lmao the shade towards brandy in the video is thick Lmao I really needed this laugh. Got 2b real video always cracks me up. Thanx Luvvie <3

  13. January 25, 2012 at 11:14 am — Reply

    the awesomeness in this video is just *sigh* immeasurable!!!!

  14. BlackLizLemon
    January 26, 2012 at 11:57 am — Reply

    DESTROYED at “Aretha” singing the That’s So Raven theme song.

    Good night and God bless.

  15. Rachel
    February 5, 2012 at 1:08 am — Reply

    Girl, iDIED on this!

    “Who read your palm and told you lies? Raven-Symone?”

    HAHAHA!

    And ERYKAH BADU! iQuit.

    Thanks for sharing!

  16. CallMeSu
    March 21, 2014 at 11:00 am — Reply

    LMFAOOO @these bitches aint about to sacrifice me!!!

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