Dear Usher and Tameka, Please Tuck In Your Petty
I wasn’t following the Raymond vs. Raymond divorce proceedings closely at all until this weekend. All I knew was that Usher and Tameka were in court fighting for custody of the 2 sons they have together. Tameka wants full custody because she says URSHA is a bad dad, and he’s not giving up that easy. This fight is getting messy, so I must write these two a sternly-worded letter. They’ve earned it.
Dear Usher and Tameka Raymond,
Greetings, Saints and Aints with Taints! I know you aren’t speaking to each other but I’ma write you a joint letter anyway because y’all are both petty and it’s showing all up through these court proceedings.
You’re suing each other for full custody of those precious kids of yours. Why aren’t you ok with joint custody? Where did you go wrong that this couldn’t be settled even remotely civilly? You’re turning whatever scorned feelings you have into a circus instead of really looking at what’s best for your kids. That’s what it feels like anyway. Y’all are doing the most.
First of all, these accusations being thrown around are a bit much. Usher, it’s rumored that you slept with 2 of Tameka’s bridesmaids. If true, not only are you trifling as ALL TO BE DAMBED, and she needs better judgment in picking friends. I also heard you smoked ganja in front of your kids. IS THAT TRUE? I hope not.
And Tameka, word on the street is that you threatened to kill Usher and his new boo. But you gon retort with “I didn’t say I was gon kill him. I just said I was gon fuck him up.” Oh ok. That’s so much better. Girl, stop it. That’s not the way to go. You are not on “Basketball Wives” and your name is not Lozada.
As you expose each other’s Ain’t Shitness, remember that at one point, you thought these qualities were endearing, or at least tolerable. As you put each other on front street for being terrible human beings, keep in mind that you actually chose to be together, in spite of the side-eyes you got because everyone but you realized you weren’t a good match. Usher, you even lost your Momager over Tameka. Clearly, Jonetta saw something y’all ain’t see for much later: you’re not compatible. Now you’re crying two tears in a bucket with no window to throw it out of since the pot you used to piss in is tryna take your kids. Choose wiser next time, my peoples.
The pettiness both of you have shown in this process is really the issue here. You’re handling this too publicly, therefore terribly. It’s clear that you can barely stand each other, but it ain’t e’em gotta be like that.
Tameka, the retweeting of stuff insulting Usher is HELLA funny. Don’t get me wrong. It’s hilarious. But also hella childish. Come on, chick. You’re better than this. Don’t let him see you sweat. And I peeped how you faved my tweet from Sunday saying your ex looked like a Yo Gabba Gabba character.
Yes, I cackled hard when I saw this. One of those throat laughs. But you know this is petty. I’m an enabler though.
And you, Usher. You gon put this picture up on your Facebook page with the caption “how can you get this much joy out of someones pain? smdh…”
Once again, I cackled. The fact that she’s in the background eating snacks and smirking while he’s looking all downtrodden is both hilarious and pitiful. I wonder what snacks those are. They seem delicious. Either way, she looks so amused.
I know you’re tryna gun for public pity but this picture just further shows how immature and childish you’re both acting.
But what you’re not both considering as much as you should in all this is that you have kids together. Think about them as you throw mud and sunflower seeds at each other in the media. Think about what they’d think if they hear these things you’re saying and doing. Because your petty is so showing and I just want you to tuck it in.
Also, think about getting rid of that mohawk, Usher. Seriously. It’s done for. And consider hiring Tameka to be your stylist again. You looked good when she was telling you what to wear. Now you dress like Bieber and no one is here for that.
I just want y’all to act a little bit more cordial to each other and stop showing out in public. You’re both grown so govern yourselves accordingly. It’s clear you both love your kids dearly and want the best for them but keep Raymond vs. Raymond cleaner.
Yours in side-eye,