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No Country for these Tacky Outfits at the Met Gala

Most people went to the Met Gala looking gorgeous and beautiful and regal. But these fools up top came to end up on everyone’s worst-dressed list.

Fashion designer, Marc Jacobs, went to the Met Gala last night in the outfit below, and I have words.

Marc Jacobs at the Met

Picture by @EricWilsonNYT on Twitter

Who told him it was okay to rock a long, button up negligee? I didn’t realize it was okay to go to this formal event dressed like a colonial with loose morals. Goodness. Slutty pilgrim chic must be the new black. And he even rocked white boxers underneath. The man has big antiquated balls for this #alphet. And those shoes? We won’t start. I bet that hideous buckle’s laced with diamonds or some leather imported from the skin of a crocodile who had a blue eye or something equally ridiculous.

But I guess when you’re Mr. Jacobs, you can rock whatever you want. Even if it makes you look like a good ass fool.

Then there’s Kristen Stewart of Twilight fame, who came rocking this atrocity:

Kristen Stewart at the Met

Picture from the Huffington Post

She must be aware that she has on three very distinct outfits in one, and she doesn’t look pleased about it at all. She’s looking like “my stylist is on that boolsheet for putting me in this.” She shoulda called June Ambrose, who would have made sure she didn’t step out the house looking like a high school sewing project gone very wrong. The top looks like sequin animal print, the middle is of polyurethane pleather and the bottom looks like “not leather.” This is a fail. And her hair? She didn’t even try. She must have figured that since her dress was to tacky, her hair needed to complete the “I gave no dambs” look. And mission accomplished. You look an ENTIRE mess, Kristen.

And then, there’s this unidentified Olsen Twin. I’m not sure which one this is so we’ll just call her Mary-Ashley.

Mary-Kate Olsen at the Met

She looks FANTASTIC for 75. Too bad she’s 24. iSweafoLAWD I thought this was the old lady, Rose from Titanic. I was thisclose to asking her the exact place she threw that necklace. Goodness. Who frosted up Mary-Ashley’s face? She looks like she breathes ice. Was this supposed to be chic? I’m sure it was. Who wants to age themselves by 50 years when it’s not e’em for a movie role? I don’t understand.

This list of tacky dressers is missing black and brown faces because there were only a handful of my skinfolks invited. And those that came stepped OUT! Beyonce, Kanye West, Janelle Monae… ALL of them came looking like GOOD GAHTDAMB!!! The homie ATFierce covers the fashions there so you can see pics of folks who came RIGHT there. Also, The Fashion Bomb posted about some hot looks there.

So who looked worse: Marc Jacobs, Kristen Stewart or Mary-Ashley Olsen?

26 Comments

  1. Kim
    May 7, 2012 at 10:45 pm — Reply

    Chile, the worse is Marc Jacobs in my opinion, looked like he just grabbed his window drapes and put em on.

    • May 10, 2012 at 1:23 am — Reply

      LMAO! Marc went in his mama’s armoire and picked out her favorite slip and turned it into a blouse.

  2. May 7, 2012 at 10:47 pm — Reply

    I’m pretty sure Mr.Jacobs is modeling his new line of #grandmalingeriegetyoseggzyback

    As for Kristen, she is exercising her constitutional freedom of fashion are you blind, or dumb right

    MaryAsh is all about scaring folks like its Halloween.

    • May 10, 2012 at 1:24 am — Reply

      LOLLLL!!! YESSS!

  3. Marsha S. Haneiph
    May 7, 2012 at 11:27 pm — Reply

    Lawdy lawd, put ah hand! I knew female celebrities were wearing old granny lace jumpers, but come on Mr. Marc Jacobs. I dream of having your outfits in my closet and you’re stepping out in that!?!

    Kristen Stewart always looks sleepy, irritated or sleepily irritated.

    The Olsen twins, Angelina, Rose Byrne, Emma Stone and all those other walking stick figures need a long vacation. Preferably in a place where they’ll eat well and get lots of sleep.

    Good night, lovelies!

  4. sincerelyalana
    May 8, 2012 at 1:24 am — Reply

    If that Olsen Twin were African American she’d look like my great grandmother, and I’m older than her. It makes no damn sense for her to look like a woman who has been in the business for seventy years. None at all. And did she wrap some fabric around her bones and say, “I’m going to mess them up with this one. I look amazing!”

    • May 10, 2012 at 1:26 am — Reply

      Yeah I don’t get her look. Not never.

  5. IfYouEverComeBack
    May 8, 2012 at 2:06 am — Reply

    Whoa!Just realize you have three new posts I need to read So does this mean that you’re back?

    • May 8, 2012 at 2:08 am — Reply

      Yes indeed! I’m back w/ a bang!

      • IfYouEverComeBack
        May 9, 2012 at 4:14 pm — Reply

        yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! *fangirls it out* BTW I think you need to send Mr. Marc Jacobs, one of your famous Foolsadown gift baskets cause o__O.

  6. May 8, 2012 at 5:12 am — Reply

    Marc Jacobs is trippin’ with himself…but Luvvie I take it you didn’t see his pink Polo dress ensemble from a few months back? Complete with those very same shoes?! Turrble.

    KStew ALWAYS has that look on her face. I’on e’en think that chick knows HOW to smile.

    Olsen twin is…I don’t have words for her.

    • May 10, 2012 at 1:27 am — Reply

      NAWL! I missed that pink polo dress alphet. Find me a link, please!

  7. David
    May 8, 2012 at 6:58 am — Reply

    Like the zen question, the point is not whether the Olsen person looks like a mortuary trainee’s first school project, the Twilight person is a Mondrian painting with diarrhea, or the designer person clearly has no one who loves him enough to squeeze the lemon of truth into his eye. The point is that you’re back and writing about them. Missed you, beautiful woman.

  8. Stephanie
    May 8, 2012 at 8:45 am — Reply

    She looks FANTASTIC for 75. Too bad she’s 24.

    *DEAD*

    • jaj
      May 8, 2012 at 3:07 pm — Reply

      Yes! LOL. I was dying inside at work when I read that!

  9. Kate
    May 8, 2012 at 9:15 am — Reply

    Kristen Stewart always has the look like she’s smelling sh!t or something. Why is that? She’s like the walking embodiment of Debbie Downer “Everyone’s looking lovely tonight here at the Met Ga…wait…is that a rain cloud on the red carpet? That doesn’t make any sense that it would rain in just one spot, how can that poss…oh never mind, it’s Kristen Stewart, everyone continue on” Jesus, it’s as though all that angsty sex with R-Patz doesn’t help anything.

    • May 10, 2012 at 1:24 am — Reply

      LMAOOOO!!! She sure does bring the funk to the carpet. I’m like “bish, smile or go saddown somewhere!”

  10. Gee
    May 8, 2012 at 11:50 am — Reply

    A hotter assed mess could surely not have been found. Mark and Ashley-Kate should have been photographed together.

    • IfYouEverComeBack
      May 9, 2012 at 4:15 pm — Reply

      Man I saw her alphet on E news and this made my side eye twitch. How dare she show up the Met Gala looking like An Ancient Roman Prostitute.

    • Shazza
      May 6, 2013 at 9:05 pm — Reply

      I hope no one bumped into her because that hip bone looks like it’ll cut you!

  11. Tamz
    May 9, 2012 at 9:02 am — Reply

    You made my life with that line: “dressed like a colonial with loose morals”. rotfl

  12. Twink
    May 11, 2012 at 9:21 pm — Reply

    If you give her a green sweater abd some glasses, K-Stu is a DEAD RINGER for Daria! (MTV) And I think The Hungry Olsen mistook the Gala for the opening of Johnny Depp’s most recent box office flame out. I have no words for elderly pilgrim at the top. He should go stand in front of a mirror, turn off the lights and THEN give thanks!

  13. adwoa
    May 18, 2012 at 1:27 pm — Reply

    I’m actually going to go out on a limb and say that Bey was doing wayyyyy too much. Solange looked amazing, but Beyonce looked like she got attacked by Frederick’s of Hollywood in a murderous rage.

  14. purplefashion
    May 6, 2013 at 9:07 pm — Reply

    That Olsen twin looks like a sad Statue of Liberty, Kristin always looks like somebody forced her to go to an event, and I just refuse to say anything about Marc Jacobs. I love him too much

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