Spirit Airlines is the Four Loko of the Airline Industry
There have been few times when I fly and swear off an airline completely. One of those times is when I flew Spirit Airlines a couple of years ago. I don’t know how broke I was or if I was in dire straits, but the price of the ticket is what got me. I think I paid $145 for a round-trip ticket to Florida. I did all types of jigs because I couldn’t believe it! I thought it was too good to be true.
I got to the airport with carry-on luggage only and they tell me it’s $35 each way. Wait. Wayment. $35??? I told them the butler named Jeffrey that was clearly coming to take my bag and stow it at the top of my seat for me wasn’t necessary. I can carry my own bag. But nawl. They said no butler. It just costs $35. MUTHAFUNKAS FAH WUT? Ugh. I should have read the fine print. Or their website. I had never heard of such foolishness.
Then I was thirsty but was being cheap so I didn’t wanna buy the $3 bottle of water from one of those Hudson News stores. I figured I’d just wait to get on the flight and get something to drink from the air hostesses. I saddowned in the plane when it was time and started reading one of the magazines behind the seats. There’s a menu for regular stuff like soda and water. Oh. O__O
WAIT A GAHTDAMB minute! I gotta pay to have my thirst quenched too??? NAWL, B. I gotta pay for a measly cup and swig of juice? What kind of life is this? Chile… but I paid it. I was left choiceless, lest I want to land and my throat is left feeling like sandpaper. The dry air of the plane plus my parched-ness woulda left me dehydrated dinnamug. I didn’t wanna live that life. And let’s not even talk about how the seats were so small they could only be comfortable to toddlers.
I was expecting them to walk over and tell me there’s a surcharge for seatbelts too. Clearly everything was à la carte. Had I flown with American Airlines, which is where I have frequent flier miles, I wouldn’t have to worry about none of this.
That’s what I got for trying new things and being too cheap. Ol’ raggelly Spirit Airlines. Charging for everything. You’d think all those surcharges would make them great but nawl. They’re the Rush Card of airlines.
NOW, Spirit announced that starting in November, they’re gonna start charging $100 for carryon luggages that don’t fit under seats. So anyone who wants to travel with anything more than a baby’s backpack will basically be paying $100 MORE.
That’s just plain ol’ tomfoolery and haberdashery. Spirit Airlines is not e’em remotely about that life, and they clearly need to carry their cloud dereon duffles and go. Why are they still in business? Why are people indulging them in their subparity?
The folks who run that airline must not want nice things.
No country for Spirit Airlines. Not e’em a municipal or county or zip code. They need to go. They’re janky and got the nerve to be adding super fees like that makes any sense. You end up buying a ticket for the low low of $120, and by the time all the fees are added AFTER you get to the airport, you’re paying $300. AND you don’t even get anything with that. That’s so foolish. I ain’t the one.
Never again. Spirit Airlines is the FUBU of aviation and I ain’t got the TAHM.
And if any of the folks I love want to fly it, I’d tell them “Don’t do it, Ms. Celie. It ain’t worf it!”
Have you ever flown Spirit? Did you kiss the ground when you landed? Do you wonder why they’re the Old Country Buffet of Aviation? Tell a G.
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